Orange Alerts, Duct Tape, The Sound of Music and C.S. Lewis...

So, I had jury duty last week, which consisted of me sitting in a Los Angeles Courthouse waiting room for the better part of a day and never getting placed on a panel--much to both my irritation and relief because I am relentlessly hard to please. Fortunately, I brought a book and the book I brought was "The Screwtape Letters" by C.S. Lewis. For those who aren't familiar with it, it's written as a collection of letters from a demon named Screwtape to his nephew and apprentice Wormwood. Screwtape is advising Wormwood on how to tempt his "patient" away from Christianity during World War II. I'd read it many years before as a teenager but naturally, reading it as an adult, I got a lot more out of it. Chapter 29 includes some advice that struck me as being so relevant to our current climate (talk of gas masks and duct taping one's windows, the ever fluctuating terror alerts) I thought I would share:

This chapter is about whether Wormwood should try to induce cowardice in his patient, who lives in London during the Blitz.

"...The main point is that precautions have a tendency to increase fear. The precautions publicly enjoined on your patient, however, soon become a matter of routine and this effect disappears. What you must do is to keep running in his mind (side by side with the conscious intention of doing his duty) the vague idea of all sorts of things he can do or not do INSIDE the frame work of the duty, which seems to make him a little safer. Get his mind off the simple rule ("I've got to stay here and do so-and-so") into a series of imaginary life lines ("If A happened--though I very much hope it won't--I could do B--and if worst came to the worst, I could always do C"). Superstitions, if not recognized as such, can be awakened. The point is to keep him feeling that he has SOMETHING, other than the Enemy [God] and courage the Enemy supplies, TO FALL BACK ON, so that what was intended to be a total commitment to duty becomes honeycombed all through with little reservations." The Screwtape Letters, pp. 149-150

I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with news that the terror level has again been raised--I think I would be just as aware of my surroundings and the suspicious activity of those around me yesterday at Yellow than I would be today at Orange, but then, I'm generally a pretty paranoid person. I'm certainly not saying we should live in a way that's oblivious to any real danger to ourselves or those around us but this passage did bring to my mind the idea that I mustn't put my faith in myself or the local news (!) or the American Government or Home Depot in regards to my sense of peace:) We must continue to ACTIVELY seek our peace from God in a time when there is SO MUCH to be legitimately and reasonably afraid of, and so many different people telling us different ways in which to be or feel "safer." But we need only depend on God:

Psalm 121

"I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; From whence shall my help come?
My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.
He will not allow your foot to slip; He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper; The Lord is your shade on your right hand.
The sun will not smite you by day, nor the moon by night.
The Lord will protect you from all evil; He will keep your soul.
The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forever."

That's a favorite verse of comfort for me, and it came into my life in a very cool, pop culture way. One of my all time favorite films is "The Sound of Music" and when Julie Andrews' Maria is about to flee Nazi-conquered Austria with her family, she goes to an Abbey, where she was once an apprentice nun, for help. The Nazis follow them there and as the Von Trapp's are about to leave, about to climb over the mountains into freedom (one must put aside one's knowledge of geography for this to not seem stupid ;) Mother Superior stops Maria and says, "Remember: "I shall lift up mine eyes to the mountains; from whence cometh my help..." And Maria smiles, the implication being that she knows the rest of the verse and it is indeed just what she needs to hear. So, my sisters and I (who'd seen the film dozens of times without really thinking much about this scene) were watching with my Aunt Norma and she said, "I wonder what the rest of that verse is..." and using several concordances, we finally tracked it down and were very impressed with how well the verse fit the situation of those in the film.

It also fits our present situation of anxiety, one that I would venture to suggest comes from an unconscious misplaced faith in our country instead of our God. Now that war and terror has come to the shores of the United States, we must turn to God for our sense of security and faith in a more deliberate way, the way Christians did in Europe during World War II, the way they do every day in places like Africa and Central America and the Middle East where regimes change frequently and are often times in direct opposition to Christianity. The fact that our government (despite all our rah-rah democrat v. republican sparring) is so consistent and stable and tolerant of our faith has made it easy for us to, without realizing it, put our trust in it as an agent of God rather than the flawed creation of man it has always been (no matter how well-meaning and God-fearing some of those men and women whom it is comprised of, are).

God is not issuing Orange alerts--he tells us to trust in His mercy and his wisdom and his plan for our lives no matter what our external circumstances are. Whether we are being shot at or whether we're lazing in a backyard hammock sipping lemonade, we're to believe and trust that we are in His Hand, and under his protection. And again, I'm not advocating withdrawing from the world and ignoring the realities of the times in which we live--I recently called the LAPD about lights I saw on in the top floor of what is supposed to be an abandoned skyscraper (naturally, they totally blew me off but It still made me feel like I'd done my civic duty). I pray for God's protection when I travel but I still buckle my seatbelt. I just feel we need to guard ourselves against both false fear and false security when we are currently under such a bombardment of messages from the news media, which wants us scared and therefore dependent on them for all their "helpful information" (in between the McDonald's and Sears commercials) and the government, which is trying to calm us (so we keep eating at McDonald's and shopping at Sears) by promising they are doing everything that can possibly be done to protect us against things which they know and we know NO ONE can really be fully protected against--not in a fallen world where there will always be those who WANT to hurt us because THEY CAN.

Our only viable option, the only thing that can provide us with any lasting peace and comfort, is to turn to God and His Word and also to reach out to those around us who don't worry about vague, distant concerns like "Terror Alerts" because of the immediate and tangible fear of hunger, poverty or abuse that pervades their daily lives. Those of us who have the time or inclination to wonder whether we should, say, on the way to picking up a pizza, swing by ACE Hardware and get a roll of duct tape( just in case "The worst should come to the worst") should promptly fall on our knees and thank God that we're not worried about not eating tonight, or where we're going to sleep tonight or whether or not anyone's going to hit us tonight. Tonight, I for one am going to enjoy a delicious bowl of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and revel in the cultural cheese that IS "American Idol," and thank God for designing me in such a way that something THAT silly gives me so much joy. Even when the "Terror Level" has been moved to "Orange."

Peace, and God Bless

Christine :D

General Hospital Week ending May 16th...

(a) Who gave the consistently best performances this week?

Robyn Richards has been an anchor in making this sleazy webcam story work. She comes of like a real kid with hair-trigger emotions and the need to appear strong and independant even when she really could use some help. She was heartbreaking this week, when she was gleefully calling Kyle her boyfriend while we knew he was a creep, then when she lashed out at Kyle and Georgie when she felt like like a fool. And would any of us give a crap about this story if it was NuMaxie? I think not.

(b) Who gave the best single performance this week?

Rebecca Herbst at the hospital, her scenes with Tamara were great--she didn't overplay her indignation at Carly, she played the hurt and fear and that was the wise choice. I also thought she played the baby reveal with Ric well--it's a typically stupid device to have her assume Ric knows but Becky played it right--she's at her wit's end, she's scared, she's not thinking straight and she jumps to the wrong conclusion--and then she gave a great, dawning, "oh shit" look when she realized SHE just told him. Good stuff. Do the CFF's and Journey-pimpers who praise the great Bob his trusty lapdog Liz Korte REALIZE that while giving most of the airtime to their faves, they are giving all the meaty, interesting Emmy-reel type scenes to EVERYONE ELSE?

(c) Who gave the single WORST performance this week?

Natalia Livingston when Emily broke up with Zander--her overwrought passion was all wrong for the dialogue. She should have been cold and blase and remote but as she played it, it was obvious that Emily did indeed still care about Z. They really really need to stop screwing around in the booth and pay attention to their actors who DESPERATELY NEED DIRECTION. I thought NL was nice--and subdued--when giving "Dobson" the low-down on her family.Honorable Mention to Greg Vaughan on Friday for not coming anywhere close to his dialogue. If you're only gonna memorize half your lines, stick to the subject and predicate and ignore the "because's." I mean, Maurice can't be bothered to learn his lines either but at least he usually knows what the scene is about.

(d) What was the single BEST scene this week?

A very little scene I loved was when Alan, Monica and Emily came home and the rest of the family was in the living room having a loud discussion about Reginald etc. and they all casually, automatically eavesdrpped. All three of them played it like "standard operating procedure," you walk into the Q mansion, you eavesdrop to find out what's going on. It was such a perfect little moment. Actually, as punitive as this Dobson story feels in regards to Nancy Grahn, the Quartermaine stuff has been really delightful--especially "Dobson's" interaction with them.

(e) What was the single WORST scene this week?

Tuesday when Carly was needling Jason about marraige and Sonny was taking poor, put-upon Jason's side and it was all being played like "My Big Fat Mob Life," the very unfunny sitcom, gag me. It was just so, "Oh, aren't they so cute when they aren't ruining people's lives!"

(f) Who or what surprised you the most this week?Alicia Leigh Willis was not smug and therefore quite winning in her scenes with Dylan Cash and Rosie (yay, Rosie!). I think she just tries too hard most of the time. Wow, though not all were mentioned by name, we had references to Ned's daughter, Brooke Lynn, his father, Lord Larry Ashton, and Dillon's father and stepmother, Paul Hornsby and Jenny Eckert. Not bad for a show that despises its own history as much as GH does these days.

(g) Biggest WTF moment of the week?

Why hasn't ANYONE mentioned whether Maxie and Kyle used protection? We didn't even have a box of condoms in the background. Even if we give GH the benefit of the doubt and assume she's still on the pill from when she was going to seduce Lucky, shouldn't Maxie still be worried about catching something considering Kyle TOLD her he sleeps around? And can't Mac have SOMETHING to say about HIV considering his neice was infected when she was a teenager?? It's pretty irresponsible to aim this storyline at teens and not even write a throwaway, "Of course we used a condom--I'm not stupid!" line for Maxie.Why aren't they playing the fact that Maxie SHOULD have a rather large scar on her chest from her heart transplant? It would be such an effective motivater in explaining her desperation to lose her virginity to Kyle--her desperation to feel loved and accepted and validated for her physical beauty, something she might have a lot of angst about. Why does Ric have to be SO stupid? He doesn't even lock his door? Seriously, they could have even made Korteney the hero and made it more bearable by having her find the tire iron instead of having Ric take it out of its secret hiding place and wave it around just in time for Jason to show up and take it from him (off camera, no less). A friend of mine, who's a Liz/Ric fan and watches on SoapNet told me she was gonna quit over the Ric/Korteney thing and I was like, "Uh, dude, it's already over," And she was like, "WHAT!? I mean, good, but WHAT!?" Guza just doesn't know what he's doing and I'll echo everyone else--this would have been much better STORY--that's s-t-o (are you writing this down, Bob) r-y-- had Korteney NOT confided in Jason, and this go on for months, with Jason in REAL danger of going to prison and Korteney determined to save him on her own, even at the cost of her relationship with him and Sonny and Carly--but that would mean, gasp, she doesn't trust the Borg in ALL THINGS and in every way and we can't have THAT! Or anything remotely resembling conflict or drama in their orbit! But, all that aside, would the tire iron hold up in court? See, there's this thing called the chain of evidence, and a lawyer should know that keeping an alleged murder weapon in your entertainment center for a couple of weeks might just make it inadmissable. Then again, this is Port Charles.

Skye being so touched and surprised that Ned would be on her side. As usual, Guza and Co. haven't bothered to do the work--to have a long-standing animosity or rivalry exist between these two characters so that their coming together now would be satisfying or compelling. As it is, we have Skye reminding the audience that they haven't exactly gotten along in the past WHILE they move closer together. And I keep shrugging indifferently.

DEGRADATION WATCH:Faith is suddenly obsessed and pathetic and desperate about Ric. Maxie loses her virginity and the act is broadcast over the internet--she blames herself. Korteney is threatened with a forced marriage and the spectre of her having to have sex against her wishes is raised--how tittilating. Alexis is dressing like a man and being hit on by another woman--this is the price she has to pay for being...stubborn? And her seperation from her child is supposed to be funny and is faciliated by other women. Liz loses all respect as soon as she hears Ric's bought a ring and throws herself at a man she despised an hour before, Carly lets her husband bribe her with a purty dress so she'll shut up already, Skye is running all over town begging for sperm and being teased about it by her future love interest and ah, let's not forget Summer who was almost raped this week but, it doesn't really matter because she's a hooker and besides, the whole point of the scene isn't what might have happened to her but the fact that Lucky came to her rescue--he believes in her, yeah, that's what's important--the guy's point of view, always. Have I left anyone out? Oh, and in true Guza fashion, where codependent enabling is the highest, truest expression of love, Kyle has nothing but praise for "strong" Maxie--who's the only girl at school who can "handle" him. I smell super-couple!

Lucky holding his gun at an angle to "look cool," hey LAME ASS, the metal thing on top helps you aim and this isn't a John Woo movie

Nik and Lucky hiding in the bushes and watching Summer as they try to find Curly's Gold or whatever the hell--this story blows. Carly as anti-abortion advocate: When she said, "Look, I'm not one to give advice..." I screamed, "Then WHY THE HELL ARE YOU!?" Bobbie would have been a much more logical choice--she counseled and supported Liz during her rape crisis and gave up the only child she was ever able to carry--something she still regrets. I HATE Carly but know her character well enough to know that Carly would have left the decision up to Liz and not gotten in her business. And she sure as hell wouldn't have glibbly told Sonny, "You're gonna have a nephew!" when she KNOWS Liz might be aborting it that very night!! And this happens ONLY so that Sonny can jump to the wrong conclusion about Jason and Korteney's "situation." Just horrible, horrible writing.

Liz shrugging off the strange duffel bag in her apartment because it was empty--uh, sweetie and rape-survivor Liz, er, doesn't that still probably mean that someone was in your loft and shouldn't that concern you!?And the whole snake thing is an elaborate way to get Liz in the hospital so she can have her blood tested for the pregnancy reveal...seems there's some less-violent ways to accomplish that, but, whatever!

I hate how they can even make references to the fact that Jason loved Michael as though he was his son and then Carly took him away from him--which is what Robin ALWAYS maintained would happen--and yet they never play his anger and sense of betrayal. That's what I hate about the Jason/Carly friendship--if he can't forgive Robin for "costing him Michael" which she DIDN'T, how can he forgive Carly, who DID? When Korteney gushed, "I'd love to see you with a baby," I just about gagged. Ugh, two years of Mikey hell was enough for me, thanks. Surprise within a WTF; at least Carly said the words, "I trashed your life."

Sonny comes off like such a weenie when he tries to get the cops and the DA to fight his battles for him. In the first place, why would they help you, Sonny, when you continually mock and badmouth them and in the second place--what the hell kind of mobster runs to the police for justice?

Murderer and beat-down artist Jason talking about "promising before God" he'll be faithful. Hey Jase, read your Bible! God would like you to stop killing people and stealing from them for a living! No...really! Hurting people is wrong!

(h) Line of the week, if there was one?

Liz to Korteney: "Isn't that a little sick? Marrying...what would you call it, your half-brother's half-brother? But then, you did jump from your husband to his brother without a divorce in-between."

(i) Got any shallow thoughts to share?

Was that flower arrangment Liz got at Kelly's REALLY from Ric or was it from LIASON fans?

Jax looked unattractively sweaty on Weds.

That snake thing could have been lame but that shot of it rearing up and hissing and then striking was pretty cool, i thought.

I always love when Liz hits Korteney

Sonny seems like such a low-class lame-ass when Mo chooses to snap and chew gum.

Just me or is Ned using Kristina as a chick-magnet, "She's pretty irresistable, isn't she? Kinda like her dad, heh heh." And watch out Skye--last time Ned married a pseudo-cousin, she wound up dead.

Why do the Quartermaines use that HUGE baby buggy in the house?

Emily's room is so sterile and grandmotherly guest room--did they throw out all her stuff when she went to Stanford?

I still think Carly would have so much more interesting interaction with the rest of the canvas is she was still a physical therapist.I'm disturbed by Faith's "bobblehead" references in regards to Liz--am I wrong, or does that mean the WRITING STAFF is making fun of Rebecca Herbst's appearance? Or is it Cynthia Preston ad-libbing? I just think it crosses a line into what is called "actor-bashing" on certain more thin-skinned Boards...

Ric has a strange bit of artwork hanging in his apartment that looks like a relief map of California and Nevada with some sort of Egyptian goddess carved in it? Or am I just crazy.

Is "Dobson" a Santa Barbara reference?

I love that Big Alice is getting more to do--shame she's getting more lines than AJ though.

Backwards Maxie using sex to get a prom invite--huh, at my high school, girls put-out AFTER the prom...I'm just saying.

Peace, Chrisitne

Survivor 6.12 Heidi gets the Heave Ho! :D

I made a vow to myself that I would get this off before The Finale and it's gonna be down to the wire--so I'll try to keep it short. Shouldn't be hard because, despite the fact the Survivor's entire camp burned to the ground...nothing much happened this week...

Morning at John le Carré find Jenna moaning to the others about her illness, "I have tonsillitis and like, when *I* get it, it's like, so much worse than when regular people get it because it's also pharyngitis, which is an inflammation of like, my pharynx AND my larynx!" Gee, doesn't it seem like it might help some one with that condition if they would just SHUT the HELL up!? She tells us, "The hardest part of the game for everyone is, like, how hard it is on ME. Plus it's like all mentally hard and stuff because I don't trust anyone. They don't have the same morality as me." Heidi, Jenna and Matt are hanging out--the Creepy Clique is back in effect since Heidi and Jenna certainly can't bring themselves to what Heidi has dubbed, with no sense of irony, "Team Crazy." Jenna explains to Rob, "I feel less betrayed by you since you helped us get rid of that annoying deaf girl. If it weren't for you, one of us wouldn't be here." Rob sees this as genuine gratitude even though they are SO trying to suck up to him. He tells them straight out, "Look, I'm voting out Heidi and then you, Jenna. I thought about teaming up with you again but then I'd be screwing over Butch and Matt and, jeez, then I'd be screwing over EVERYONE. I gotta have a couple people on the jury wiling to vote for me, right?" I think Rob's overestimating his chances to get to the Final 2, personally, and more on that later. He apparently reveals his plan to go in with Matt because Jenna says, 'I think that's a smooth move because even though Butch is like, a total moron, he's a lock to win if he's on the Final 2." Uh, because people like morons or because people respect kind, hard-working honest men who don't treat people like crap? When Rob is out of earshot, Heidi whispers to her fellow Panty Princess, "mmm, we were thankin' Rob but we's the ones who got us this far, mmmm hmmmm! I'm gonna go out fightin ah yep!" Then the girls cackle with cruelty when Rob does his Butch impression for them.

See, ol' Butch is obsessed with getting firewood, which the others find silly. He thinks you can never have to much nearby, and plus, it's something to do besides laying around and sniping about the other players. Rob laughs to the camera that he doesn't want to be on the same team as Butch, who does a goofy dance to lighten the mood. You know what? All Butch has done is catch fish, build the shelter, gather firewood, worked hard and been emotionally supportive. He doesn't whine, he doesn't get in anyone's face--and all it gets him from the Creepy Clique is behind-his-back meanness. Jenna shrugs, "Work is hard--and like, totally lame. Someone else will ALWAYS do it for you, especially if you've got big boobs and like NO FAT on your body anywhere else, like me." I hope pharyngitis is fatal.

Reward Limerick

This one will win you some wheels
And also a pretty good meal
While you are here
Your camp's toast we fear
Saving it's not part of our deal

The Survivors trot off to the Challenge, leaving a fire burning which is Standard Operating Procedure for these dopes. At the challenge, Jeff asks everyone how they're doing and makes the huge mistake of asking Jenna who replies, "I have tonsillitis and like, when *I* get it, it's like, so much worse than when regular people get it because it's also pharyngitis, which is an inflammation of like, my pharynx AND my larynx! I'm only a little lamb who's lost in the woods--what more can I do?" Jeff looks away uncomfortably and explains that to win a new Saturn Ion, they have to compete in a serious of tasks--most of them they've done before and one, a rope swing, is a sneak peak at a future challenge--well lah dee dah, a rope swing--gee, I never would have seen that coming! They have to free themselves from a cage by untying knots, do a puzzle, the rope swing, decode a message, take a trapeze ride down to the car. Matt kicks MAJOR butt and wins handily before Heidi can manage to get out of the cage, which amused me greatly. Everyone chills in Matt's A/C for a bit but when he's asked to pick a picnic pal, he goes with "alliance mate" Rob. This win does not bode well for Matt in the long run I don't think they gave away a car in a reward challenge in the first one--though I could be totally wrong on that score. But since them, the winner of the car has never won Survivor (Colby (2), Lex (3), Sean and Ted (5) ). Rob and Matt have "ever so much fun" preparing their BBQ while, unbeknownst to them, John le Carré burns to the ground. When Rob contemplates how much Butch would enjoy lighting the BBQ he does his "Butch" impression, and Matt doesn't even get it nor does he grasp why it would be funny to make fun of the absent and not eating Butch. Matt's a total nutbar, but he's not in anyway mean which is refreshing. Matt and Rob toast to being the Final 2 and Matt reveals he has the same deal in place with Butch--"I am "stoked," one might say, to have cultivated such fine relationships with both Rob and Butch. I may finally have to stab someone in the back--a move Mr. Machete has been advocating for quite some time. Easy, my sharp and shiny friend. Your time is nigh." Rob tries to be subtle, "Gee, it's great how I TOTALLY helped you to get this far, and now you're, heh heh, gonna help ME get to where I need to go." Matt seems to regard this as true, although its a dubious claim. It's worked to Rob's advantage for Matt to still be here, but Matt won immunity when he needed it, and has benefited far more from the missteps of others than by anything Rob has done.

Smokey Says: Only FOOLS can't prevent rain forest fires...

Now, about the fire. I think it was caused by the fire catching the fire shelter, not any extra wood they had--unless it collapsed onto wood they had behind the fire and THAT's what lit the fire shelter. If that's true, Butch is more at fault but in my opinion, they should always extinguish that fire when they aren't around--basic camping etiquette, HELLO. Anyway, the camp goes up like three-month-old Christmas tree, burning Butch's banner, the shelter, and most everyone's belongings. Is Rob's Magic-8 ball destroyed? Signs point to Yes. It burns out before Butch, Heidi and Jenna return to camp to find ashes and ruination. Heidi's stuff wasn't ruined, for whatever reason, and Jenna--between lamenting the demise of her clothes--can't help but passive-aggressively knife twist, "Gee, Heidi, you're like, sooo lucky. It must be so great to like, not have your stuff all burned or not have you mother dying of cancer or like, NOT have pharyngitis!" Jenna lost her "Pledge Crown" and her Zeta jacket, "Which was like, handed down to me from one bitchy sorority ho to another and like, can never be replaced, OKAY!?" I'm sorry but how much of a nimrod do you have to be to take anything you truly value on a month-long camping trip to the freaking Amazon? Heidi babbles, "MOST people aren't as moral as me, mmmm hmmmmm. They'd be glad to have their stuff but I felt bad that I wasn't sufferin' like the others, mmmm hmmmm." No, Heidi, actually most people would feel bad for the others and guilty about feeling good that their stuff wasn't burned. Matt and Rob return to camp and are shocked by the destruction they find. Most importantly, Jenna reminds them that she's lost, "precious Zeta heirlooms that have been, like, passed down for 5 or 6 years! They date back to the ancient 1990's!" A shirtless Sir Matt frowns, "Uh, I'm gonna freeze to death, bitch!" Everyone feels Butch is to blame, but they also all take great pride in not confronting him directly and instead make the accusation the Survivor way: behind his back and on camera! The men rebuild the camp the next morning while the righteously lazy Jenna and Heidi cuddle next to each other and snark. Heidi declares, "Mmm I deserve to last in this game! I work hard--I even talked to that horrible deaf girl, mmmm hmmmm. I didn't burn down the camp like that old weirdo did neither!" Jenna dumb-girl drawls, "Why should we help them if they're just gonna vote us out anyways? Like, HELLO?! I mean, sure we'll get to like, sleep in the shelter and like, totally use it but...whatever." Matt is displeased, but Mr. Machete is too busy chopping down palm fronds for the much needed shelter to slice through Jenna's skeevy skinny neck--damn its pragmatism and work ethic!

Immunity Limerick

Run through a serious of ropes
In order to maintain your hopes
If your name is Heidi
Prepare to go bye-ey
No matter how much Jenna mopes

Jeff asks why the Immunity Necklace is burned and they tell him about the fire "someone who collected far to much fire wood" probably maybe started. I wonder if that'll drive down the EBay bids? Nah, the fire just gives that damned necklace more cache. If I were to buy it I'd wear it to all jobs so that no one could ever fire me. Rob, who's clearly watched a lot of Sports Center vows they'll manage despite their loss, "It's gut check time, time for us to turn it up a notch." Since the challenge involves physical strength and athleticism, Matt wins easily although a desperate Heidi at least understands her position enough to try hard enough to place second. Afterwards, Jenna honors the spirit of Shawna by having a meltdown, and wailing, "I can't do this anymore! I hate everyone here and I can't walk and I have chest pains and everything's falling apart and I have tonsillitis and like, when *I* get it, it's like, so much worse than when regular people get it because it's also pharyngitis, which is an inflammation of like, my pharynx AND my larynx, waaaaaah, how can I enjoy my last days on national television, waaaaah!" Despite this horrible display, Heidi dutifully insists her friend is not being a big cry baby. She briefly tries to spin it to her advantage, realizing, "Mmmm, if Jenna gets voted out afore me, it helps me, mmmm hmmmm." Brilliant deduction, Sling Einstein, considering Rob has told you the vote is going against you tonight! Rob shrugs of her concern for Jenna's health, "It's only one more day and then we're getting rid of her too!" "Mmmm, but, uhm, she's really bad off, mmmm hmmmmm." "Ooooh, like what, she's gonna die?" Rob laughs. It was a nice feeling going into Tribal Council with Heidi as the frontrunner and Jenna as the red herring, I tell you what:)

Tribal Council

Deena remains the portrait of Conservative Chic while Alex and Christy wear dramatic form-fitting black. Alex is filling out again and clean-shaven and looking mighty fine, although I know too much about his cheesy personality to be placed under his spell again. He seems amused to learn of the fire, while Dave shakes his head in disbelief--probably at the idea of leaving the fire burning and untended--he's a rocket scientist, remember? Heidi glares bitterly when Butch tells Jeff he considered blaming his obsessive wood gathering for the fire, but has dismissed the notion because "there are too many variables." Jeff asks Jenna, "This has been a tough week on you--you're not feeling well, all your stuff burned down, and now it's pouring rain--how are you holding up?" Jenna smiles, "To be specific, I have tonsillitis and like, when *I* get it, it's like, so much worse than when regular people get it because it's also pharyngitis, which is an inflammation of like, my pharynx AND my larynx, plus my mom still has a brain tumor and I'm not eating enough because I haven't won a food reward because your challenges are like, totally hard, and I'm still pretty--and you know how hard THAT is." Jeff smiles, "I do, I really do. What are you looking for in terms of someone to go into the finals with?" "Um, like anyone who knows me knows I'm like totally moral so I would go with someone who's not deaf, not old and not Matt and not who's like, screwed me over." Heidi beams as Christy bristles while Jenna drones on, "I'd rather go in with someone I KNOW deserves the money and like, needs to get some ore plastic surgery--Heidi is GORGEOUS but she has kind of an overbite?--than go in with some sleazeball or psycho that I could like, TOTALLY beat." Rob's expression mimics my own as we both wonder, "Has Jenna ever WATCHED "Survivor"?" Heidi makes it even more fun when Jeff asks her if she deserves to be in the Final Two, "Mmmm. Hmmmm. I've worked real hard and everyone knows it and I'm like, the mastermind of this here Survivor, mmmm hmmmmm. These three menfolk that are left are scared to death of me, mmmm hmmmm." Alex, Matt and Rob seem very amused by this while Christy looks away in disgusted disbelief. Dave is so beside himself that he smacks his head into his hands and leaves them there, unable to look at her--he's either suicidal at the thought of her outlasting him in the game or he's contemplating which venereal disease she's infected him with.

Onto the Vote, and Heidi is ousted 3-2, with girls still holding a grudge and voting against Rob. Alex gives Christy a congratulatory smile. Rob cast his vote, saying "2 girls, divided by one brain leaves one half-wit left." Butch "the Moron" comforts a weepy Jenna--I hope at least her parents have the good sense to lecture her on what a bitch she is when they're watching this on TV, but my guess is their over-indulgence has helped make her the selfish twit she is today--Happy mother's Day ;) Heidi exits in 5th place, sharing the honor with one of "Survivor's" most famous idiots, "Dr. Sean." She also joins such noble players as Rodger and T-Bird as well as the obnoxious Sean, who couldn't shut up long enough to get Krazy Kath to side with him over Pappy and Neleh. Last year, we saw an oblivious Ted get stabbed in the back. What does this years Finale hold? You most-likely already know as you read this. I think Rob is in more trouble than he thinks. For all the talk of Jenna being next out, I think it'll be the dangerous sleeper Butch who's sent to the Jury box next--it works in the favor of Matt, Rob and Jenna to get rid of the nice older guy who hasn't hurt anyone. And Jenna knows Rob wants to keep his options open with her AND limit Matt's options to just him. But if Matt wins Final Immunity he might just take a page out of his "mentor's" playbook and go into the Finals with the supremely disliked Jenna. Rob might even admire him for it. If Rob wins he takes Jenna, despite his vow to Matt and Jenna takes Matt--just to spite Rob. My prediction: Matt wins Survivor Amazon. If Jenna wins, there will be no final review as I will have jumped from a window.

Peace! Christine :)

General Hospital week ending May 9th 2003

(a) Who gave the consistently best performances this week?

Cynthia Preston, Faith just keeps making me laugh through the pain. She can deliver the most mundane dialogue in a way that makes it SOUND like a delicious punchline.

(b) Who gave the best single performance this week?

Nothing really stuck out for me this week, so I'll stick with CP--I thought she was hilarious posing as Korteney's mother on the phone to get information from the nurse.

(c) Who gave the single WORST performance this week?

Tamara Braun. She just CANNOT play more than one emotion at a time and it really hurt Monday's scene with Ric. We're supposed to believe that Carly thinks this guy raped her, but she plays it like some bad-ass action hero with no emotional involvment whatsoever, let alone the shame, rage and vulnerability we need to see to buy any of this. Then Sonny shows up and she starts getting hysterical and scared and then there's not a trace of the resolve or righteous anger that she had before because she's moved on to the next emotion. She sucks. And I hate how she's doing the pregnancy waddle and sticking out that flat stomach of hers all the time when she's only 3 months pregnant.

Honorable Mention to Maurice for hitting Ric with the pillow on the way out--it was such a lame ass ad-lib. Oooh, that...er...must not have hurt a bit, actually. His Pacino-bit is getting really stale.

(d) What was the single BEST scene this week?

As tempted as I am to say, "Zander whipping off his tank top to go swimming," I'm gonna go with Dillon sadly watching Georgie and Lucas kiss. It was really the only time all week I actually felt something besides disgust or fatigue...

(e) What was the single WORST scene this week?ICK ICK ICK, the sweaty, panting post-coital Ric and Faith, BLECH. Oh and another round of Hate Sex! Lovely! But who cares that we keep showing a woman getting verbally abused after sex after some violent foreplay--it's only the Guza/Pratt blowup doll, Faith...

Nik and Lucky both leering at sleazy Summer, and her coming onto the both of them was pretty grody as well. And who IS this guy "Lucky" that would keep boinking a woman whose deceptions are endangering his family!?!

And let's not forget the "Burn Alexis at the Stake" scene--this show, with its current regime, should NEVER ever try to pull off anything whimsical or humorous. You look at Fan February, or the Thanksgiving show or New Years Eve--almost every time they try to do something funny it falls flat ( I say almost only because I so enjoyed Brenda and Jason's wedding).

(f) Who or what surprised you the most this week?

That Tony had a scene and Brad Maule actually showed up to do it.

I was surprised that Bobbie was at the hospital when Korteney was brought in because Carly witnessed the car crash in front of the Brownstone because she was dropping off Michael to see Bobbie...right?

That TPTB actually expect us to give a shit about anything Summer says, at this point?

How much I enjoy Zander and Gia together, I think they're charming.

(g) Biggest WTF moment of the week?

The fact that Korteney and Sonny are inclined to accept Coleman's version of the facts--Korteney actually says, "Why would he lie??" Uh, money?? Why would Coleman admit to Korteney (and therefore Sonny) that he had the chance to help Carly (by making a phone call) but passed it up to watch the show? To watch her be humiliated?? Makes no sense whatsoever. Coleman saving Carly in order to curry favor with the powerful town mob boss? THAT would make sense.

I didn't buy Emily breaking things off with Zander in a public place and in front of her parents.Why was Scott flashing a badge when he went to interview Korteney?

The absolutely BIZARE decision to have Liz snip at Zander, "Turns out I've been dating a liar and a rapist!" And we fade out on a bewildered Zander (with a "Wow, she sure told ME," look) and then no follow-up scene?? No, "Gee, Liz are you alright? Anything I can do?" Nothing. I don't get it. They are friends, right? Instead we have Liz tossing off this revelation like its a snappy comeback.

Sonny telling Carly that he wouldn't allow Ric to touch their lives--why the hell should she believe him when he's already hurt her and Korteney AND tried to kill Sonny?

Faith and Ric going over all the details of their plan that they already know on the DOCKS, just so Korteney can overhear it, then Korteney dropping her medical bracelet just so it can be found--and what the hell is someone who JUST got out of the hospital and allegedly has bruised ribs doing carrying around a big sack of groceries anyway?

Summer oohing and ahhing about how "unrecognizable" Luke would be in his disguise--and then he shows up looking like his twin cousin, Bill Eckert! He looked like a younger Luke--uh, not a big deal if you're trying to hide from the Cassadines who've known you for 25 years...and where the hell WERE Lucky and Summer when Matt showed up and then got stabbed? Out on the terrace having punch and scones?

Why is Scott able to antagonize Alexis--doesn't she still have Teresa Carter's skull? I mean, I never understood how she'd make that stick either but...it did work before, I'm just saying...

Korteney can't even stay unconscious for HALF AN EPISODE after being hit by a car! She's like a freaking Terminator or Wolverine or something, its ridiculous how indestructible the little bunny is...

That we were SUPPOSED to enjoy Sonny and Jason mocking the cops as they hid all their evidence of wrongdoing.

That we were SUPPOSED to find the reconciliation of the Drab 4 not only interesting but touching.That we're NOT supposed to find Carly's obsession with Jason and Korteney getting married CREEPY and SiCK.

That we're SUPPOSED to be outraged that Ric is trying to frame Jason for a murder he didn't commit when Jason is, in fact, a murderer.

That we're SUPPOSED to think Scott is the bad guy when he calls Sonny and Carly on their hypocrisy for expecting him and the police to do a good job on their behalf, even while they continue to flout the law at every turn.

(h) Line of the week, if there was one?

Scott to Sonny about Jason: "...that blue-eyed boyfriend of yours," and then later "You and your girlfriend [Jason] are free to go!"

(i) Got any shallow thoughts to share?

Those were some ugly-ass pants Lucky was wearing.

Okay, if we have to have a scene in that weird ass Love Nest of Journey's then I want to see my chessboard, and/or by Giant Dominoes. I was mightly pissed to see neither.

I'm going to start calling JOURNEY "Bug." Boring+Smug=Bug

Oh and here's why LiRic, as a couple, works: They have REAL FREAKING OBSTACLES to overcome. He's a creep. She's not interested in dating a creep--but she's seen the part of him that isn't a creep. He'd like to be worthy of her, but he's still hung up on revenge. Meanwhile, with BUG, you've got to keep shoving Korteney down a well or in front of a snowplow every couple days in order to manufacture the stakes and drama that just isn't there. They COULD be there: he's a killer, she could--radical concept--be opposed and freaked out by murder, as a rule. But he'll never leave the mob for her (an insult to her) and she'll never condemn him for doing his ghastly job--also an insult to a character that once demanded AJ return something he stole from his family--THAT was wrong. Murder? Not so much...SO we're left with BUG.

Could we have one Sonny and Carly scene that doesn't involve him nagging her to eat better??

This is how biased I am. Tuesday, I was FREAKING OUT ANGRY as Carly and Courtney ate those cookies! They kept tearing off pieces as they talked and I was like, "WHO THE HELL EATS COOKIES LIKE THAT," and then I reminded myself, "Uh, lots of people--those are some HUGE ASS cookies." They really CAN'T do anything right by me, at this point.

Random Question: When was the last time we had a character on the show who worked for the "Port Charles Herald"? Am I crazy or was it REALLY Jackie Templeton (Demi Moore) 20 years ago?

I think its kinda funny that GH is meeting its "diversity" quota by having Kyle's sleazy pack incude an Asian guy and a black guy: Equal Opportunity Slimeballs

As shallow as it GETS: dreamy black-shirt Zander saved the week for me--I just love that guy But as much as I like seeing him shirtless, the whole "girl tends her guy's wounds" scene is getting pretty played on this excessively wounding show...

Peace! Christine

Survivor 6.11 Gah!

Freaking Frak!!!!! I'm not sure if I'll ever forgive Christy for letting those bitches get the best of her. But I'm getting ahead of myself, like always---oh, and LIKE CHRISTY! >:o

It started off so well! The Survivors return after the vote to find the fire blown out at John le Carré. The boys work to relight it while Jenna and Heidi glare. They are ticked off and scared or as Jenna puts it, "I was like, more betrayed than I have ever been in my entire life!" Well, proof right there that Jenna's never had a real job. She goes on, "he betrayed the alliance of young people who aren't deaf and aren't Matt, okay?! We hate him and we'll like, NEVER forgive him. I can't believe people would like, sacrifice personal relationships to get ahead!" Uh...has she ever watched this show?
Rob pleads his case, claiming that Alex had been dishonest with him (when in fact he had been a little *too* honest). Then Matt flexes his tribal muscles by patronizing the girls a little, "I as well thoroughly enjoyed master Alex's company but truly I declare that I too felt that he told mistruths to both myself and Mr. Machete. I'd don't harbor any ill will towards either of you ladies, but I will not forget that you etched my name on the cards tonight. And Mr. Machete doesn't belief in forgiveness, as a general rule. But this shan't affect the way we interrelate camp, m'kay?" Heidi claims she and Jenna didn't respond to any of this because, "I was afeared we might use cuss words, mmm hmmmm." But she was really just gonna cry like a big 'ol baby, which is what she does that night, wailing about how Butch wouldn't even be here if not for her...yeah, I don't know what that's all about either. Rob tells them that this is the stage in the game where you have to reconsider what you're willing to do to win and Sling Heidi snaps, "Ah won' turn my back on the people I love, mmmm hmmmm!" Heidi and Jenna must lead pretty empty lives back in the world for these reality show relationships to mean so much. Rob gloats, "They were in the majority and now they aren't--and they're gonna have to work really hard and kiss some major ass in order to stay!" I WISH!!! >:0

The next morning, everyone except the Panty Princesses work to fix the apparently poorly constructed shelter (we hadn't heard anything until now). Matt suggests building another fire shelter structure except for people and their belongings--I don't know what that means, exactly, I'm just repeating what he said. I guess maybe it's a simpler design. Matt bosses everyone around while Heidi lobbies Christy to join the girls, "Gee...it'd suck for you to get voted out 4th, mmm hmmm. We gals gotta stick together, mmm hmmm." Remember, Heidi turned on THAT concept, and by extension Christy, back when she joined Roger, Dave and Butch in ousting Jeanne. Which she doesn't remember or selfishly doesn't consider betrayal when she claims, "Mmmm, I never lied tuh you, Christy mmmm mmmm. Mainly cuz I never much talked tuh you, mmmm hmmmm. We should join up agin' the menfolk." Jenna can't bring herself to talk to Christy, even to save her own skin, "I can't believe I've been reduced to listening to Heidi try to talk to the deaf girl!" Christy tells Heidi she'll think about the girl thing. Later, Rob informs Christy that the Princesses are aghast at the idea that she might last longer than they will, which delights her. She reveals to us, however that she is considering teaming up with the girls--whom she despises, because she can "go further" in the game with them. "So I want to win a million dollars? Or do I want to be the kick-ass girl who went father than any of the other girls," she ponders. Um...you want to get that hateful bitch Jenna out of the game AT ALL COSTS, right? Right?! I felt twinges of fear and dread but I suppressed them. Christy wouldn't really turn on the boys, who she claims she trusts more and likes better as they show Butch, Christy, Matt and Rob spitting in their hands and shaking on their alliance...right? RIGHT, I assured myself. They're just making it interesting...

Reward Limerick

If you want to talk to your kin
then you sure better hope that you win
that's really a lie
but to make sure you try
we're making it seem like we're truthin'

The reward is a date with a loved one and the challengers have to dig up four paddles to row with--so the two that don't find them are out already. Butch comforts fragile fellow loser Heidi--Butch is just such a nice man!--while the other four get on boats to race out to a buoy where they must answer a question. If they get it right, they'll return with a bag full of puzzle pieces. Matt is the only one who can manage the boat. Rob flounders but manages to get back in, while Jenna and Christy swim for it. Matt wins rather easily, though Rob does make it to shore with the puzzle. Matt's such a creep--doesn't he know Jenna's mom has cancer!? Heidi seems sincere when she tells Matt she's happy for him, Jenna, echoing the sentiment, not so much. Then Jeff offers Matt the chance to give up his chance to see his mother if he allows everyone to see theirs, and Heidi implores Matt not to it, but he does and we see Butch's wife, Christy's boyfriend, Rob's mom, Heidi's mom and Jenna's dad. They get 15 minutes to chug wine, eat food, and chat with their special someone. Christy assures her boyfriend she's in the Final Four, while Rob tells him mom he's been a stinker and she's not surprised. Matt relates, "It was truly touching to watch the humans interact...I felt like God, for a moment, for it was I that caused it to happen." Yeah, Matt? Still crazy after all these episodes. The whole thing of course, was a big mind game and Matt is sent off on a canoe with his mother. He tells us, "It...how do you mortals say...it "sucked" to express emotion, I prefer not to do that." You'd think that tears would make Matt short-circuit or something.

Now, in years past, we've spend a great deal of time on this reward--we see the crying and we hear the strategizing and we get a glimpse into the Survivor's life that redefines them a little bit. Think Krazy Kath with her son. Matt and his mom must have been pretty damned boring because we see almost none of their feast. We get a smidgen of Matt's dull exposition, "Mother and I admired the buffet..." and we learn that Matt's mother likes to talk to him when he isn't there, proving the apple indeed doesn't fall far from the tree. When she chastised Matt for being too "formal," I wondered if his so-called "mother" is really just the mad scientist who fashioned him from wire and leather. A native tribe dances for them. Back at camp, everyone gets blasted on wine, especially Butch who now joins Heidi in needing to prostrate themselves before the school board thanks to their televised antics. He gets very effusive, then very incontinent. Rob sings "We've got Tonight," and unwisely chooses to sing the instrumental parts as well as the lyrics--Butch puking was easier to watch.

The next morning, Rob decides he may have to change his game plan. He has been trying to go in with crazy-cyborg Sir Matt "because he's a spaz" but now, thanks to Matt's grand gesture at the Reward Challenge, Rob might be the lesser of two weirdoes. Rob insists, "Matt's not the Patron Saint of Reward Challenges, we ALL would have done the same thing!" Uh, have you MET Jenna? She would have rode the "my mom has a brain tumor" boat all the way up the river without a backwards glance, sucker. Anyway, Rob makes his first major misstep of the game when he decides to inform Jenna of his mental decision to try to go in to the Final Two with HER, because she's the only one more odious to the others than he is. This is stupid for several reasons. One, Jenna lacks the discernment to recognize the truth of his words--she does not think she's loathsome, she thinks the others are jealous of her. Two, she's still angry at him for turning on Alex and isn't receptive to hearing talk of their being allies and third, and most importantly, Heidi is still in the game so Jenna doesn't feel desperate to reconsider her position. But Rob blabbers to her anyway, and Jenna tells him she could go back and tell everyone what he just said. He uses a Jedi mind trick and tells her he only said he had the best chance of winning if she were next to him in the Final Two, nothing more. She tells us, "I can't believe I used to hang out with that nerd--I'd be totally embarrassed to like, be seen with that slimeball. I have morals, okay?" So of course she tells Heidi everything and Heidi confronts Rob, "Our morals are different, okay?" Rob is getting tired of being called immoral by the skanky stripping ho's and reminds her that this is a game. Heidi begins to argue about how much she's done to further the cause of others who remain in the game but then she gets all weepy. Rob chases after her but Heidi returns to camp and off come the gloves. Jenna rails at Rob for making Heidi cry, which is apparently unacceptable. Jenna and Heidi have a sort of "Heavenly Creatures" vibe going on, if you ask me. If I were Rob, I'd be cozying up to Mr. Machete at night. Rob states loudly, for the benefit of the others, "Yeah, I'm voting out HEIDI tomorrow--sorry if that makes her cry," and Jenna wonders, "Have you told everyone else that you're gonna be in the Final Two with them? Or have you told them you want to finish with me because you know you can beat me!?" This seems to register with Sir Matt but, then again, he might listening to a conversation Mr. Machete is having with a couple of rocks. When Jenna wonders how everyone else can't see Rob for the liar he is, his response is, "Well, I fooled you, didn't I?" He maintains that he's playing the game as it was intended to be played and Christy scoffs when Heidi insists that she has never #$%&ed anyone over (and I'm sure that somewhere, Jeanne put her foot through her TV at that point) and Jenna vows, "I'm like, not gonna be nice, okay!? I'm not gonna be easy to work with and I'm gonna make your life miserable, okay?!" So...pretty much the same way you've been acting since day one, is what we're hearing. The far-more diplomatic Heidi declares that EVERYONE else is playing fairer than Rob. Lots of scenes of slithering snakes are inserted as Rob tells us that anyone would be a fool to trust his word after all he's done, but Butch and Matt still have faith in him and are united in ousting one of the Princesses tonight. Despite her deep abiding hatred of Jenna, Christy, damn her to Survivor also-ran status, is beginning to waver. Heidi tries once again to hard-sell her on a girls alliance (Jenna is STILL not deigning to talk to the deaf girl) and Christy reiterates that she can't quite bring herself to trust bitchy Jenna. To us, she says, "NOW they want to talk to me--I'm like, why not talk to me in the first 31 days!? But now they DO want to talk to me, because I have THE POWER!" They should play that "Brady Bunch" tiki music every time anyone says anything like that--as soon as she did, the dread of something bad happening overtook this viewer.

Immunity Limerick

It's time to play something like Plink-o
It's a lot harder than you might think-o
get your puck on the "x"
to assure your success
any less and your chances are stink-o

Christyloo

This time, the Survivors use slingshots to break plates with their names on them, releasing pucks which they will use to slide across a board in the attempt to get closest to an "X" as they can. Jenna gets a couple of pucks when other players mistakenly hit her plates. Jenna wears an insufferably smug smile on her face the entire time, accustomed to things going her way most of her life, and she wins immunity, Heidi looks doomed, but Christy will quickly engineer her own demise. Rob is nervous about the vote because he knows Jenna and Heidi want him gone. He goes to Christy for reassurance and she does just the opposite. She terrifies him with her wishy-washy, "I won't know who I'm gonna vote for until I have that pen in my hand. I want to hear what is said at Tribal Council, I'm still not sure that going with you boys is better for me than going with those bitches who despise me...so I dunno." Christy is now coming off like Rotu's Gabe--who proved that the last thing you want to be seen as in this game is a Wild Card, it scares people. So Rob decides to call out a pre-emptive strike and informs Heidi of his new idea. Now, remember, Christy is really only wavering because Heidi has been trying so hard to recruit her but Little Miss "I have Morals, I'd Never Ever Screw Anyone Over" takes about a nanosecond to decide to rejoin forces with Rob in order to eliminate Christy and I'd feel bad for her if it weren't so much her own damned fault. It's one thing not to make alliances, but once you do, stick with them and should you decide NOT to stick with them, don't freaking telling anyone. Sigh.

Tribal Council

The jury is let in, and Alex has somehow morphed into Kevin Richardson of the Backstreet Boys. Oh and FYI, Ladies Man Alex, Africa's Brandon looked straighter when he wore that skirt thing, I'm just saying. Heidi is positively beaming with deception and glee and Christy's imminent departure. When Jeff asks if anyone's surprised to have made it this far into the game, everyone has the good sense to answer yes, but Jenna's reasoning has nothing to do with her being a hateful wench with no survival skills whatsoever, "I'm like, really pretty? And all my life people have like, resented my for being so beautiful and other women especially have like, never liked me--I'm sure it's been the same with Heidi," Heidi shakes her head excitedly, "Tha's right, Mmmmm Hmmmmm." Um, Jenna? Other women hate you because you're a four-letter word that rhymes with something one might do to a football. There, I said it (sort of). Heidi rolls her eyes when Rob acidly responds, "I've been blessed with not being handsome, so I haven't had to bear that handicap." Everyone insists they've come to win and Jenna vows that she'll never stab anyone in the back who hasn't done it to her first (which, I hate to say, is sort of true in her case--I'm quite certain her tacit alligience with Christy came through Heidi). Then Christy falls under the spell of that tiki and THE CURSE OF POWER and raves, "I've made it this far and I'm gonna try to go the whole way--honestly I think I'm in the driver's seat as far as this vote is concerned. I hold ALL the power right now." Rob suppresses a laugh as Jeff sputters in disbelief, "Really!? Uh, have you been paying attention to anything that's happened over the last few weeks?!" Alex mutters to Deena, "Please tell me we didn't look THAT stupid right before WE got voted out?" Deena sensibly pleads the Fifth. In a further display of their disturbing enmeshment, Jenna cheerfully becomes the first person ever to give up their immunity as she puts the necklace around Heidi's bobbling head. "Strategy," Jenna sniffs. At first I thought this was merely a flagrant display of power on Jenna's part, but in retrospect, it may have been a way to assure Rob's vote--thanks to his loose lips, she's now very aware that he's counting on her going on to the Final Two, so she makes sure he HAS to vote out Christy in order to protect her and, by extension, himself. Jenna's crafty as all get-out, unfortunately. Christy goes down 4-2, with Butch playing the sucker once again. Rob didn't burn his bridge with Matt, who also knew the vote was going against Christy. She tearfully indicts the Princesses for betraying her, sparing instigator Rob from her wrath, at least for now. Is he coated in Teflon like Richard Hatch was, or will he soon pay for playing to many sides at once? I think the latter. I think Rob just gave up any power he once held and will soon be gone now that Heidi and Jenna can enlist Butch to squash Rob. Jeff reminds everyone that their behavior is only assuring them of one mightily pissed-off jury but then again, the players know that like it or not, ya gotta vote for someone. Christy's ouster is another stunning surprise in a place that isn't known for it, though it's a return to form as the "Pretty Young Thing" spot--she joins America's sweetheart Colleen, Jerri's stooge Amber and Africa's Lil' Kim as the 11th person voted out of Survivor. All were doomed weeks before they lost their last chance at immunity (although Hatch intended to keep Colleen if Kelly had lost Immunity--a move which would have been disastrous for him had Colleen then won-out). Rob "The General" and Good 'Ol Jake were also booted at this point in yawner votes. So Christy's ouster was exciting, it was just also tragic for those of us who don't like skanky ho's. What makes it all the worse is Christy DID vote to get rid of Jenna which was the plan, GAH! She just got too Gabe on Rob, who feared she was Shii-Ann and cut her off at the knees. Tonight, ANYONE could get it, and I'm leaning towards Rob--though Butch has been odd man out for SO LONG, and is the most sympathetic--they'd be wise to end his chances of being in the final 2.

Peace! Christine :)

General Hospital week ending May 2, 2003

(a) Who gave the consistently best performances this week?

Rick Hearst. I'm running out of new adjectives but he continues to wow me every week. He manages to keep his character's integrity while showing us Ric at his most pathetic and self-deluded. His scenes with Sonny and Liz were very powerful all week.

(b) Who gave the best single performance this week?

I thought Becky Herbst was fantastic when she let Ric have it for lying to her. She was angry, hurt and disgusted with herself for falling for such a creep--and for still feeling something for him, try as she might to deny it. She hasn't been this good since Lucky "died."

Honorable Mention to Robin Christopher for reacting to Michael's "Sonny and Carly are having a baby" news as the good gossip it is.

(c) Who gave the single WORST performance this week?

I hate ties but I'm going with Tamara Braun and Steve Burton for their "WE'RE YELLING TO SHOW HOW HIGH THE STAKES ARE BECAUSE WE JUST CAN'T EMOTE RIGHT NOW" scene with Liz in the penthouse on Tuesday. Courtney might be dead, Sonny might be dead and they're both...ticked off at Liz--she's so ANNOYING. They're both so lazy.

Dishonorable mention for Jackie Zeman who wasn't babytalking with Carly on Thursday--it was like she was CONCENTRATING on not babytalking, like she doesn't remember how to just, you know, talk?

(d) What was the single BEST scene this week?

Tracy ditching Dillon with the Quartermaines. Jane Elliot was superb as she showed pain and guilt underneath her con-woman facade, and I don't know the name of the actor who plays Dillon, but he played his brave "we make a good team/it's way too provincial here" dialogue with a heartbreaking mix of teenage bravado and "I want my mommy" subtext. Great, human scene.

(e) What was the single WORST scene this week?

The big "Ric is Sonny's brother" reveal just didn't come off for me, despite the good performances by both Maurice and Rick. It felt like a "Oh, it turns out Ric is really a psycho" quicky write-off instead of the beginning of anything remotely interesting, storywise. It reminded me of the climax to a lot of horror stories, where the misguided killer reveals to the confused protagonist just exactly what terrible thing was done to them to make them do these psycho things...but then Ric didn't fall out a window and impale himself on something symbolic. It was a whole lot of noisey nuthin' for me.

(f) Who or what surprised you the most this week?

How much history and chemistry Tyler Christopher and Andrea Pearson were able to convey in their very first scene together as Nik/Gia recasts.

(g) Biggest WTF moment of the week?

Zander has house plants???

How Jason can get beaten up and dig his way out of a mine shaft and still find the time to re-gel his bangs--even though Jason supposedly doesn't care about stuff like that.

That a smart girl like Georgie wouldn't say "Lucas who" after spending 10 seconds with Dillon. He's got that Lucky Spencer quality (I'm talking about JJ here of course), a soulful, worldly confidence. But no, Georgie's gonna keep pining after her lunkhead cousin...oh, okay. When she said to Dillon, "You're weird...but in a good way," I yelled, "Yeah, Georgie, it's called INTERESTING!"

So, to Michael, AJ is "only biological" which doesn't count for anything--unless Sonny WANTS it to, in which case it's perfectly reasonable for him to be fanatically devoted to two total strangers (Ric and Courtney) who are "only biologically" his siblings? Right? And Lucas is still Carly's brother, even though he's adopted but "not really" Tony's son, therefore perfectly acceptable dating material for Georgie and Maxie? Get it? That sick feeling in your stomach means you get it.

The fact that Carly told Michael about his real parentage with so much contempt was loathsome, as was her freaking out at the Quartermaines. She should know better by now not to play that shit out in front of the kid, especially now that he KNOWS that his "biological" is "that guy" who mommy hates. This better be leading to some good story down the road--oh, who am I kidding?

I was probably not supposed to LMAO when Sonny told Michael "We'll always tell you the truth."

If Zander REALLY thought that Em had left his bed in order to score drugs, why the hell is he basking pensively in the moonlight in his half-opened bathrobe--well, okay, it turned me on a little but , it sure as hell didn't make any sense. Shouldn't he be scouring his old dealer-haunts looking for her?

So...Summers a switch hitter? Does this have anything to do with anything except for Chuck and Bob's fratboy fantasy life? I didn't think so...

Carly's never seen a picture of Sonny's sainted mother before?

Courtney and Liz chatting about Ric's being Sonny's brother, "God, can you believe it?" "It sure is incredible...and yet, it explains sooo much!" They both seemed awfully uninvested...

AJ's line "I have no sister!" was ridiculously over the top. Why not just say, "Turns out, you're not my sister, remember?" It's just as hurtful and it sounds like something a human being in this country and century might actually say. Either way, it's inaccurate--unless he's not counting Emily because she's adopted...I can't keep track of what counts anymore on this crazy-ass show.

Speaking of unnatural dialogue: Carly to Sonny, "No mother wants her children hurt or to see them die at the others hand." One, Carly wouldn't say it like that and two, um, DUH. Later, Emily says to Gia about Taggart, "You're having a disagreement?" When did Emily become so formal and square?

How the hell did a kid THAT small "push" Adella down the stairs? Answer: He didn't but poor Sonny, it's one more thing he can blame himself for: That's Sonny, our mewling infant of a mob boss romantic lead

Skye kidnaps ONE baby and now she's suddenly an expert on the child psyche?

Sonny's utter insensitivity to Carly: "Oh, turns out you WEREN'T raped, babe. Ric told me so and yeah, I had a gun on him at the time, but he's my brother--I gotta believe him right?" And I'm sorry but, what the hell kind of guy DOESN'T at the very least beat the everloving shit out of a guy who UNDRESSES his drugged wife in order to make her think she's slept with him so that he can blackmail her?? And of couse the scene becomes about Carly being Sonny's cornerman again, "Okay, you know what? It's not your fault, Sonny, nothing is ever your fault!" On any other show, I'd sympathize with Sonny and Carly and Jason wanting Ric dead if he really did rape her, and I would root for them ultimatley NOT killing him, NOT succumbing to their darker selves. But on this show, Sonny comes off weak because we know that he DOES kill people. So, if he kills guys for crossing him in business, how the hell can he let a guy get away with DEGRADING his wife and threatening his sister (several times) with death? Same thing with Jason--he'll kill for Sonny's honor but not for Courtney's? I'm not a violent person, but within the established "Our heroes kill people who deserve it" Shit Parade that is GH, Jason comes off like a pussy.

Why did Courtney feel compelled to give Liz and Coleman such a complete run-down about her medical condition? I'm surprised she didn't tell them when she last made urine...

Coleman watched Ric "not rape Carly" for hours? Just cuz? And Courtney believes him even though he just admitted that Ric bought him off? And how does a line like Coleman's "I'm not a fan of rape?" get to air anyway? Got that kids? Even the strip club sleezeball isn't a fan of rape, so don't do it. Pretending to do it? Eh, sure, that's okay...

Luke and Lucky are coming off like chumps in this stupid "Cassadine Coin" snipe hunt of a storyline and I still don't get what the hell they're doing chasing after Summer's brother!

Sonny's gun just laying out--I'm quite sure if PC Policeman Taggart did this, a small child would wander in off the streets and blow his brains out, but Sonny's only careless (and violent and abusive) when Michael's not around, thank God.

Ric's coming off like an idiot in this whole revenge story--let me get this straight: he planned this for YEARS?? Becoming Sonny's lawyer long enough to pretend to rape his wife? I don't get it.

I don't buy Maxie giving Kyle the time of day, let alone flirting with him and this whole lame teen scene smacks of Culliton to me.

Jax and his hookers, oy, don't get me started.

(h) Line of the week, if there was one?

Gia: "People always say I overcompensate; I prefer to call it scope and vision."

Summer about Matt: "My brother's strictly a night person, you couldn't find him before Happy Hour with a divining rod."

Faith's reaction to Ric's devastating Liz: "Now I'll never get good service at Kelly's."

Ric about Sonny (and Me about Robert Guza, Jr.): "The truth is, your only talent is for destruction."

(i) Got any shallow thoughts to share?

GH should be renamed "The Perils of Courtney" and don't suggest it to Frons, he'd proably do it...

AY CARAMBA, Summer's breasts are huge! If Laura isn't her real name, could it be Anna Nicole?

I complained earlier but now I think the longish hair is working for Billy Warlock. Cameron's feathered hair? Still lame.

I still think she has the chops and just needs some better direction, but I will admit to cringing at Natalia Livingston's over-acting this week. She's in the habit of turning even the simplest line of dialogue into an impassioned declaration. Someone needs to tell her she's Emily Quartermaine and not Emily Webb--she's playing every scene she has like the "Goodbye, world" scene at the end of "Our Town." Is Grovers Corners anywhere near Beechers Corners? It's worth investigating...

Peace,Christine

Survivor 6.10 Don't you Forget about Rob

It's official--no previous season of "Survivor" can possibly match this one in terms of surprise twists and shifts of power and no previous season has been this satisfying: person gets inflated sense of their own importance, person becomes insufferable, person gets voted out, boom boom boom. Too bad real life doesn't afford so much instant karma.

Morning at John le Carré and Heidi laments, "Mmm, I still haven't worn muh buff as a tube top, mmmm hmmmm." "And like, that was one of your major goals when you decided to like, be on Survivor!" Jenna frets, "Dude, I tell you what--if you wear it as a tube top? I'll like, totally wear it as a skirt!" Remarkably, this exchange doesn't cause Alex to hack then up with the nearest machete. Instead he rhapsodizes, "Me, Heidi, Jenna and Rob--the young people who aren't Matt or deaf--are having BLAST! We have a majority over the others so we'll be the final four FOR SURE. I know Roger and Deena said the same thing and wound up taking a fall but I still feel supremely confident in saying nothing can stop me--NOTHING!" Rob mocks the outsiders, pretending to be displeased with the amount of hard work they've been doing--see, the joke is, Matt, Christy and Butch have been doing all the hard work. And the mean kids don't have do anything because they wield the voting power. Isn't that...er...funny? Alex, Jenna and Heidi sure think so. Alex gushes, "Dude, I knew when I signed up for this show that I'd meet some really great people--I never knew I'd meet people who would make every relationship I've had up to now seem pointless and empty!" Jenna agrees, "You guys are like, the best friends I've ever had!" Which probably isn't saying much. We also learn that Jenna's mother is very sick with cancer right now but being thousands of miles away and totally out of contact is a blessing to Jenna: "It's nice to think about my parents, but it's also REALLY great not to. It totally helps me to deal with it, OKAY!? It doesn't make me a bad daughter at all!!" If you say so, babe.

The young turkeys lay out in the sun, flaunting their power and their collective lack of character, while Butch, Matt and Christy do chores and bitch about the Cool Creep Clique. Alex shrugs, "It's a little like--and I hate to say this because it makes me sound like a total ass and I like to project an image of being the nicest, fairest, most sensitive guy on the face of the Earth--but it's a little like high school. We have the luxury of being horrible because we're popular." I'm so glad I broke up with Alex weeks ago. Sir Matt is perplexed, "I find their attitude to be even more incomprehensible than I find interpersonal relationships. Perhaps they shall be the "Final Four" as it were, yet might it behoove them to not be quite so odious? For surely, neither Butch nor Christy nor myself would dream of voting for one of them if fortune or fate provides another choice." Uh...did Matt win a clue in a Reward Challenge that wasn't televised?

REWARD LIMERICK

Here is a pouch full of money
To purchase some pasta or honey
It's really no biggie
so don't get all wiggy
or else you will look kinda funny

Just like last year, the contestants freak out over the wad of cash. Jenna's so excited you'd think there was the nearby Banana Republic's were the store kind. I mean, these people are trying to win A MILLION DOLLARS and they're pissing themselves over $500 of what is effectively monopoly money that they'll spend on food items at the Reward Auction. Alex blows most of his stash on a mystery item that turns out to be a bunch of manioc but wins steak and potatoes later. Jenna is not pleased when Matt outbids her for a cheeseburger and French fried puhtaters which Sling Heidi covets mightily--guess he didn't get the "It's all about Jenna" memo that she issues with eyes at every opportunity. When a plate of peanut butter and chocolate comes up for bid, Jenna and Heidi surprisingly keep their pants on while Jenna bids a hefty $320 on it. Leaving her almost broke when Jeff presents the change to win a letter from home. Christy, who hasn't won ANY food, bids hard and is thrilled to win. Jenna bursts into tears and Jeff gets freaked out, "The auction is supposed to be a fun thing--even with all the mind games built into it!" With Christy's permission, he puts up another letter for Jenna to bid on and even though it's implicitly stated that this is Jenna's letter, Heidi drives up the bid to torment her bestest friend--no one else was bidding so Jenna wins. Christy is happy for Jenna because Christy isn't evil. But back at camp, Jenna can't just be happy that Jeff bent the rules of the game and screwed over Christy who bankrupted herself on what she believed was the only chance at a letter while Jenna was gifted one out of pity. She can't just content herself to read her mom's letter and bask in the love of her family and her own good fortune! No, she has to complain, "I was surprised that Christy stole my letter from me--but then again, not really. I know she's handicapped and everything but, helloooo, my mother has, like brain cancer?" Okay, first of all, Jenna, it's quite possible that Christy doesn't even know your mother is sick because you never talk to Christy because deaf people freak you out and second of all every one else has just as much right to want to hear from their loved ones and third of all I'm quite certain you're too self-absorbed to ever contemplate how isolated and lonely Christy must feel and I'm also quite certain you're too mean to care even if you did and fourth of all maybe if you're so worried about your mother's illness than maybe you shouldn't have picked this particular time to go on a freaking reality show so you could show off your boob job and fifth of all the fact that your mother has cancer does not excuse your loathsome behavior.

Oh yeah, and Jenna's mother's tumor has shrunk by 50% which is great--I've got nothing against the woman. The Cool Creep Clique gathers around her awkwardly, trying to prove they're the "close friends" they claim to be, but they're all clearly uncomfortable with emotions not connected to making fun of other people. It's like watching a bad skit--"Wow Jenna, I'm happy to hear your mother's tumor has shrunk." "I too am happy, Jenna." "We're all happy, Jenna." Elsewhere, Christy enjoys reading a letter from a close friend--what a bitch, doesn't she know Jenna's mother has cancer?

Blue Moon

Unlike last season's men, when Matt and Butch go fishing and plot strategy, they actually catch fish. There's something endearing to me about the way Matt is excited about catching a new type of fish they've never eaten before. They contemplate wooing Rob from the Creep Clique, but want to be cautious. Matt declares, "If we can get Rob to vote with us, we'll have a majority." "Mr. Machete can't vote," Butch reminds him. Matt frowns, "I suppose we would talk to Christy then--that must be done delicately." I think it would be super easy to conspire with Christy because you could just mouth the words, you wouldn't even have to whisper. Anyway, Rob still seems hopelessly lost to the Cool Creep Clique but one magical night, while the little Survivors sleep, Magical Moonbeams of Wisdom rain down on Rob. The next morning, while the unpopular guys go fishing and the girls sleep, Alex decides to show Rob what a great guy he is. "Rob," he starts, "Let's be honest. And let's face it, I'm an honest guy. We've always been straight with each other, right? So the way I figure it, the girls have that whole Ho Code going on, they're never gonna vote against each other so when it gets down to the Final Four and I win immunity, I'm gonna vote you out. Oh and OF COURSE, if you *snicker* were to win immunity then you could vote for me--I'm down with that, bro." Alex has awakened the sleeping strategy giant from his implant-induced stupor. He has confirmed the insecure Rob's deepest fear--that he is expected by the cooler, better-looking kids to be grateful that they LET him hang out with them, and LET him go as far as number 4. Grateful enough to cheerfully vote for Alex--his co-conspirator from Timbuktu days. Rob was in love with the idea of being one of them but he now realizes he's the nerd with the test answers for cool jock Alex--a means to an end. And Homey don't play that. Rob declares to us, "I've never stopped playing Survivor! And I'm not gonna roll over. Alex saw me coming, a fool without a friend but I won't be caught up in the promises, and then left out in the end!" I want to believe Rob, but he knows how to lie....(once again, my thanks to Mike and the Mechanics for writing "Taken In" the perfect "Survivor" song).

Immunity Limerick

Put all your thoughts in this book
We promise the others won't look
If you know the answers
you'll better your chancers
If not your goose just may be cooked

Everyone has to take part in what Rob accurately calls a "Slam Book" type of quiz. Everyone's asked to fill out a questionnaire with a bunch of questions like "Who smells the worst" "Who is in most need of therapy" and "who doesn't deserve to win." It gets Rob thinking even more and after the test is over Rob takes Matt aside and comes clean. He tells him everything--that people have been conspiring against him since the merge and that yes, Rob is one of those people. Rob reveals that Alex had the "hubris" (nice word!) to tell him that he was going to be fourth and Rob wants to take him down. He's confident that Christy will join because "She hates those girls. And I think Alex too." Eagle-eyed viewers already know that Christy voted "Alex" as the player that didn't deserve to win, so we know it's a solid plan--and really, what choice to Matt, Christy and Butch have?

Rob decides to approach Christy. He tells us, "She's a sweet person, and her boobs are real, so obviously she doesn't fit in with the other girls. I think girls like Jenna and Heidi have been mean to Christy her whole life." Girls like Jenna and Heidi have mean to ALL girls our entire lives! Jenna's the type that's mean to her own friends--the second one leaves the coffee house, she's laughing, "Can you believe what she's wearing? Whatever!" I am enjoying Rob's embracing his inner-outcast. Yes folks, that's right, I'm pro-Rob now. He's using his powers for good now, and I'm onboard. It's like Darth Vader becoming a good guy in "Return of the Jedi," it's unlikely but you gotta roll with it and there's still a good chance Rob will die at the end...Of course, Christy is totally down with ousting Alex, who she says she could care less about, with his unfair play and his Panty Princes worship. She's a little concerned that Rob might be setting them up for a fall, however.

The Slam Book game takes place at night. Everyone must give the name they think got the majority of answers--not necessarily the way THEY themselves voted, but they way they presume most everyone did. Butch is the easy winner as "The person you'd trust with your life," the delusional Alex thought it was going to be him, uhm....okaaay. When Jenna easily wins "This person uses sex appeal as a weapon," She bats her eyelashes shrugs, "Gee, maybe on accident?" Jeff rolls his eyes, "You're not fooling anyone, Jenna." Matt's dubbed the most honest which probably reads "sucker" in the minds of the Cool Creep Clique. Jenna is voted the person who could never survive on her own, and Rob struggles to contain his hurt and anger when he sees that Heidi and Jenna have inexplicably voted for him--at the very least conveying a lack of respect for their "friend" and perhaps even revealing that they indeed feel he's being brought along. Jenna tries to hide her answer, "I don't know why I said that--personal opinion, I guess," as if that somehow makes it better. Matthew isn't surprised or hurt when he's the winner of "most in need of therapy (Christy voted for Jenna), "I'm a lunatic, what can I say? It has become the source of many a good joke around our camp, Jeffrey. The other point and laugh, don't they, Mr. Machete. Mr. Machete wants to kill them for me but I know it is in good fun. What can I say?" Something besides, "What can I say," for starters. When Heidi is the landslide winner for "person you'd most want to see pose nude," she's flattered, "Mmmm, I paid good money for this body, mmm hmmm. I'd like to be paid fer it tooo, mmm hmmmm. But Jenna's got a great rack too, I thought she's win mmmm hmmm." Jenna demurs, "No, I sooooo like, knew it was gonna be you!" Rob's contempt-laced "Awwww" puts an end to the skanky ho lovefest, and Rob wins when he correctly guesses Crazy Heidi is the player that most people have a crush on while fellow high-scorer chooses...himself. Does he know Mr. Machete didn't get a questionnaire? Or was this a plot to give Rob immunity? It's a risky move on Matt's part, but it would be smart to play into Alex's over-confidence by leaving Matt exposed--they don't have to formulate a back-up plan, they can just sit around and gloat about Matt's imminent departure...which is what they do.

The Curse of Power

Though not so arrogant (and verbose) as Deena, Alex is still the portrait of smugness as he discusses the upcoming vote with Heidi while she's bathing--I'm sure it was the only time he had available to pencil her in. "Matt is the biggest threat to me--US," he confirms, duh. The Cool Creep Clique has a mixer where they discuss getting rid of Matt and how much they really truly love each other as friends! Alex smirks, "Matt knows he's not getting past 5 or 6." Rob is intrigued, "He said that to you?" "Pretty much. He admitted he shouldn't have tried so hard to win immunity all those times and I was like, heh heh, you should've tried harder last night, sucker!" Alex is drunk on the cruelty of popularity, as is a chuckling Heidi, "Being mean is funny, mmmm hmmmm." Rob wonders if things will get ugly once it comes down to them as the final four and Jenna scoffs, "Uh, how can it get ugly when it's only pretty people left, Rob?? It's like, totally possible to win this game without hurting any of the young people who aren't Matt or deaf, okay?" Rob secretly frets that if he ousts Alex, he's assured of three votes against him should he make it to the final 2. Don't waver!

TRIBAL COUNCIL

Jenna has painted a sun on Heidi's cheek, and she's painted a heart on Jenna's. Awwwww. Dave an Deena are brought in, Dave still looking much as he did during the game while Deena looks like she just strolled off a Riverside County golf course. Jeff asks them all how they're holding up physically and they're all doing okay--they've been way better fed than any other season of Survivor, thanks to the abundance of fish (and people with the gumption to catch it). When Heidi (who reminds me VERY much of Will Ferrell's impression of the late Harry Carey) goes on about how she's survived the spider bites and she'll endure blah blah bleh, Jenna's eyes shine with tears of pride. These two SERIOUSLY freak me out. Of course when Christy gives the same generic "I'm doing okay" comments that everyone else did, Jenna has to glare at her--stupid deaf girl, trying to talk! When Jeff refers to the drawing on Heidi's cheek as a star, Jenna laughs, "Uh, DUH, Jeff, it's like, the sun?" "Well, the sun is a star, Jenna." "Good one, Jeff." "No...really, it is." "Stop making fun of Jenna, mmmm hmmmm." "I'm not, it's a basic fact that---" "Stop mocking Jenna with yer fancy book-learning mmmm hmmmm." Jeff asks Butch if it's dangerous and arrogant of the girls to declare their close bond in such a blatant way, "Uh...it's childish and stupid, Jeff, but I wouldn't go so far as calling it arrogant. It's not like we don't already know they're "tight," as the kids at my school like to say." Jenna interjects, "It's totally natural for people to like, bond with certain other people who have like, the same interests and prejudices and plastic surgeries, OKAY!!?" Rob stresses the importance of knowing what's in the minds of everyone in the tribe--not just your clique. Heidi does what she always does" smile, nod, pretend you understand what the smart person said. Jeff asks Heidi, Alex and Christy if they'd be surprised to go and of course, Heidi and Alex would be and the shunned-from-day-one Christy's been ready at every single TC. Onto the vote and Rob's deciding vote goes against Alex, woooo hooooo! It's the very first week 10 vote that involved a surprise twist/power shift. All other's eliminated in this spot: Gervase, Nick (the web site assures me there was this black lawyer named Nick in Australia), Frank, Tammykins and Penny were foregone conclusions because they just didn't have the numbers. This next show should be interesting because there doesn't appear to be a power base. While I would prefer for the anti-Alex bloc to stick together and boot the hateful Jenna, Matt might still be the main target should he not win immunity. Rob also stands a good chance of going home. It will be interesting--I have no doubt of that this season!

Peace! Christine