General Hospital week ending May 2, 2003

(a) Who gave the consistently best performances this week?

Rick Hearst. I'm running out of new adjectives but he continues to wow me every week. He manages to keep his character's integrity while showing us Ric at his most pathetic and self-deluded. His scenes with Sonny and Liz were very powerful all week.

(b) Who gave the best single performance this week?

I thought Becky Herbst was fantastic when she let Ric have it for lying to her. She was angry, hurt and disgusted with herself for falling for such a creep--and for still feeling something for him, try as she might to deny it. She hasn't been this good since Lucky "died."

Honorable Mention to Robin Christopher for reacting to Michael's "Sonny and Carly are having a baby" news as the good gossip it is.

(c) Who gave the single WORST performance this week?

I hate ties but I'm going with Tamara Braun and Steve Burton for their "WE'RE YELLING TO SHOW HOW HIGH THE STAKES ARE BECAUSE WE JUST CAN'T EMOTE RIGHT NOW" scene with Liz in the penthouse on Tuesday. Courtney might be dead, Sonny might be dead and they're both...ticked off at Liz--she's so ANNOYING. They're both so lazy.

Dishonorable mention for Jackie Zeman who wasn't babytalking with Carly on Thursday--it was like she was CONCENTRATING on not babytalking, like she doesn't remember how to just, you know, talk?

(d) What was the single BEST scene this week?

Tracy ditching Dillon with the Quartermaines. Jane Elliot was superb as she showed pain and guilt underneath her con-woman facade, and I don't know the name of the actor who plays Dillon, but he played his brave "we make a good team/it's way too provincial here" dialogue with a heartbreaking mix of teenage bravado and "I want my mommy" subtext. Great, human scene.

(e) What was the single WORST scene this week?

The big "Ric is Sonny's brother" reveal just didn't come off for me, despite the good performances by both Maurice and Rick. It felt like a "Oh, it turns out Ric is really a psycho" quicky write-off instead of the beginning of anything remotely interesting, storywise. It reminded me of the climax to a lot of horror stories, where the misguided killer reveals to the confused protagonist just exactly what terrible thing was done to them to make them do these psycho things...but then Ric didn't fall out a window and impale himself on something symbolic. It was a whole lot of noisey nuthin' for me.

(f) Who or what surprised you the most this week?

How much history and chemistry Tyler Christopher and Andrea Pearson were able to convey in their very first scene together as Nik/Gia recasts.

(g) Biggest WTF moment of the week?

Zander has house plants???

How Jason can get beaten up and dig his way out of a mine shaft and still find the time to re-gel his bangs--even though Jason supposedly doesn't care about stuff like that.

That a smart girl like Georgie wouldn't say "Lucas who" after spending 10 seconds with Dillon. He's got that Lucky Spencer quality (I'm talking about JJ here of course), a soulful, worldly confidence. But no, Georgie's gonna keep pining after her lunkhead cousin...oh, okay. When she said to Dillon, "You're weird...but in a good way," I yelled, "Yeah, Georgie, it's called INTERESTING!"

So, to Michael, AJ is "only biological" which doesn't count for anything--unless Sonny WANTS it to, in which case it's perfectly reasonable for him to be fanatically devoted to two total strangers (Ric and Courtney) who are "only biologically" his siblings? Right? And Lucas is still Carly's brother, even though he's adopted but "not really" Tony's son, therefore perfectly acceptable dating material for Georgie and Maxie? Get it? That sick feeling in your stomach means you get it.

The fact that Carly told Michael about his real parentage with so much contempt was loathsome, as was her freaking out at the Quartermaines. She should know better by now not to play that shit out in front of the kid, especially now that he KNOWS that his "biological" is "that guy" who mommy hates. This better be leading to some good story down the road--oh, who am I kidding?

I was probably not supposed to LMAO when Sonny told Michael "We'll always tell you the truth."

If Zander REALLY thought that Em had left his bed in order to score drugs, why the hell is he basking pensively in the moonlight in his half-opened bathrobe--well, okay, it turned me on a little but , it sure as hell didn't make any sense. Shouldn't he be scouring his old dealer-haunts looking for her?

So...Summers a switch hitter? Does this have anything to do with anything except for Chuck and Bob's fratboy fantasy life? I didn't think so...

Carly's never seen a picture of Sonny's sainted mother before?

Courtney and Liz chatting about Ric's being Sonny's brother, "God, can you believe it?" "It sure is incredible...and yet, it explains sooo much!" They both seemed awfully uninvested...

AJ's line "I have no sister!" was ridiculously over the top. Why not just say, "Turns out, you're not my sister, remember?" It's just as hurtful and it sounds like something a human being in this country and century might actually say. Either way, it's inaccurate--unless he's not counting Emily because she's adopted...I can't keep track of what counts anymore on this crazy-ass show.

Speaking of unnatural dialogue: Carly to Sonny, "No mother wants her children hurt or to see them die at the others hand." One, Carly wouldn't say it like that and two, um, DUH. Later, Emily says to Gia about Taggart, "You're having a disagreement?" When did Emily become so formal and square?

How the hell did a kid THAT small "push" Adella down the stairs? Answer: He didn't but poor Sonny, it's one more thing he can blame himself for: That's Sonny, our mewling infant of a mob boss romantic lead

Skye kidnaps ONE baby and now she's suddenly an expert on the child psyche?

Sonny's utter insensitivity to Carly: "Oh, turns out you WEREN'T raped, babe. Ric told me so and yeah, I had a gun on him at the time, but he's my brother--I gotta believe him right?" And I'm sorry but, what the hell kind of guy DOESN'T at the very least beat the everloving shit out of a guy who UNDRESSES his drugged wife in order to make her think she's slept with him so that he can blackmail her?? And of couse the scene becomes about Carly being Sonny's cornerman again, "Okay, you know what? It's not your fault, Sonny, nothing is ever your fault!" On any other show, I'd sympathize with Sonny and Carly and Jason wanting Ric dead if he really did rape her, and I would root for them ultimatley NOT killing him, NOT succumbing to their darker selves. But on this show, Sonny comes off weak because we know that he DOES kill people. So, if he kills guys for crossing him in business, how the hell can he let a guy get away with DEGRADING his wife and threatening his sister (several times) with death? Same thing with Jason--he'll kill for Sonny's honor but not for Courtney's? I'm not a violent person, but within the established "Our heroes kill people who deserve it" Shit Parade that is GH, Jason comes off like a pussy.

Why did Courtney feel compelled to give Liz and Coleman such a complete run-down about her medical condition? I'm surprised she didn't tell them when she last made urine...

Coleman watched Ric "not rape Carly" for hours? Just cuz? And Courtney believes him even though he just admitted that Ric bought him off? And how does a line like Coleman's "I'm not a fan of rape?" get to air anyway? Got that kids? Even the strip club sleezeball isn't a fan of rape, so don't do it. Pretending to do it? Eh, sure, that's okay...

Luke and Lucky are coming off like chumps in this stupid "Cassadine Coin" snipe hunt of a storyline and I still don't get what the hell they're doing chasing after Summer's brother!

Sonny's gun just laying out--I'm quite sure if PC Policeman Taggart did this, a small child would wander in off the streets and blow his brains out, but Sonny's only careless (and violent and abusive) when Michael's not around, thank God.

Ric's coming off like an idiot in this whole revenge story--let me get this straight: he planned this for YEARS?? Becoming Sonny's lawyer long enough to pretend to rape his wife? I don't get it.

I don't buy Maxie giving Kyle the time of day, let alone flirting with him and this whole lame teen scene smacks of Culliton to me.

Jax and his hookers, oy, don't get me started.

(h) Line of the week, if there was one?

Gia: "People always say I overcompensate; I prefer to call it scope and vision."

Summer about Matt: "My brother's strictly a night person, you couldn't find him before Happy Hour with a divining rod."

Faith's reaction to Ric's devastating Liz: "Now I'll never get good service at Kelly's."

Ric about Sonny (and Me about Robert Guza, Jr.): "The truth is, your only talent is for destruction."

(i) Got any shallow thoughts to share?

GH should be renamed "The Perils of Courtney" and don't suggest it to Frons, he'd proably do it...

AY CARAMBA, Summer's breasts are huge! If Laura isn't her real name, could it be Anna Nicole?

I complained earlier but now I think the longish hair is working for Billy Warlock. Cameron's feathered hair? Still lame.

I still think she has the chops and just needs some better direction, but I will admit to cringing at Natalia Livingston's over-acting this week. She's in the habit of turning even the simplest line of dialogue into an impassioned declaration. Someone needs to tell her she's Emily Quartermaine and not Emily Webb--she's playing every scene she has like the "Goodbye, world" scene at the end of "Our Town." Is Grovers Corners anywhere near Beechers Corners? It's worth investigating...

Peace,Christine