Survivor 2.13

Unlucky 13. And, proving we are truly in an alternate universe from last
season, we follow wise Rodger's ouster in Stupid Sean's slot with sweet
Elisabeth's farewell in Sneaky Sue's number four place. :( It was
almost inevitable, but I was hoping against hope that Keith would be
eliminated.

We open where we left off, with the ramifications of no-Rodger taking an
emotional toll on little Liz. Calling him a treasure she found in the
Outback, she shows the Ogakor's the heart shaped rock Rodger gave her early
on in the game, "He gave me this rock. That's all Rodger did was give. He
gave us fish, he gave us advice. He gave me this rock and didn't even hurt
the environment to do it, Colby. You let him build for you, while you
played backgammon, you let him fish while you sat here and plotted. And
now you've gotten what you needed and you sent him away. You should all be
ashamed of yourselves,
you selfish bastards!!" Liz vows to keep fighting for Rodger's sake, but a
guilt trip is really the only power she has here. Her only hope is that
Colby and Tina will vote out Keith because they like her better.

The gang plays a game where they pretend do run errands. Colby runs to the
ATM and gets snacks and gum, for example. Frankly, I'd rather play
superhero dress-up with Kelly, Jenna and Colleen, but maybe that's just me.

The final reward challenge is for the Pontiac Aztec, now apparently NOT
part of the winner's pot, unless Pontiac is giving away two of them. Now,
I think it's one of the ugliest vehicles on the road today but I wouldn't
sniff at it. I could at least trade it in. That's another vast
improvement from this years group over last year's--they care. I mean,
Colby wants to win everytime. Not because he needs to, but because he
cares. They all do! Last year you had Richard, Sue and Rudy looking down
their noses at every reward, be it a reunion with loved ones (who on earth
would that have been in Rich's case, the little adopted son that's always
trying to run away from him?) or a slice of pizza. Same if it had been a
car. I can just hear them. Rich: "The only thing that matters is the
million dollars, which I'm going to win. These simpletons can waste their
time and energy on rewards, I'm just gonna sit naked in this hammock and
work on my lying." Rudy would have said "That's the dumbest lookin' thing
I ever saw. I don't need a hi-fi and a bed in back of my car...that seems
kinda queer, if you ask me." Sue nods in agreement, "Ah dohn't need a bunk
in no car uh mine, I already got one in my big rig anyhow." LOSERS.
Arrogant losers! Kelly at least gave a damn. Sue said in Tv Guide that
this cast was "Boring." Uh, actually, the word is "likeable." "Decent"
might also work or even "human."

So, this was the most monstrous reward challenge yet. I have this
knee-jerk inclination to make fun of Keith for how poorly he did on this
one, but, honestly, after Jeff got through with all the instructions for
the many levels of tasks to accomplish in order to win, I myself would have
curled up in a little ball and started crying and pounding the dirt and
screaming for my Mommy.

That being said, Keith fell, nyah nyah. THEN he tries to lift the puzzle
pieces and Jeff has to scold him. I wish Jeff would ask him at tribal
council, "Why do you keep trying to cheat on all the challenges, Keith?"
In sharp contrast to Fox's "Boot Camp" Jeff shouts on encouragement to
Keith and Tina as they trail Liz and Colby, rather than insulting them.
Surprise, surprise, Colby wins again. I felt better about this (poor Liz
came so close) when he seemed genuinely thrilled and said he'd never owned
a new car. And, as a professional auto-customizer, he's probably one of
the few people in America who's genuinely impressed at a car that converts
into a tent with a bed and a stereo in the way-back, or whatever that's
called in an SUV (sorry, I have only my station-wagon experience to draw on
here).

The Survivors are starting to resemble Mulder and Scully when they appeared
aged do to...gosh, was it loss of salt? Or the cast of Star Trek when they
got aged? Tina and Colby look about 80 years old sometimes. They are skin
and bones. NO ONE lost this much weight on the first Survivor--except
maybe Dirk, and they kicked him out for it. Well, for that and those pesky
morals of his. The Survivors find a scale and a poem in their mailbox:

"When you arrived, you all were so buff;
But we, CBS, haven't fed you enough.
We send you this mirror so that you can see,
How much weight you have lost and how sickly you be.

If your horrid reflections just aren't enough proof,
stand on this scale and your doubts will go "poof!"
The numbers are metric--a mental diversion!
We hope that in school, someone learned the conversion."

Now, the only purpose I see for all this, is some sort of wager--or even a
pool they've got back at the hotel amongst the CBS staffers. "Oooh, ooh, I
know, we'll send them a scale. Becca, get one of the writers to come up
with some half-assed poem so they think it's part of the game." We learn
that the men have both lost around 30 lbs each, while the girls are each
hovering around a buck even. "I lost 30 pounds in one month on the
"Australia sucks and Mark Burnett is a cruel and heartless rat-bastard"
Diet--and so can you!"

Keith takes one of his walks. Fortunately for him, Jerri is not there to
accuse him of eating beef jerky. Colby suspects he's out "plotting," even
though Colby has told us thirty seven times that he is considering breaking
up the "threatening three" by ousting Keith. Keith tells the camera that
these walks are spiritual. "I'm introspective guy!" He thinks about his
kids, and his fiancee, he suns himself on a rock, he talks about destiny.
I think he just walks away because one of those camera guys has to follow
him, and he gets his own little "Keith of the Outback" segment. He can
spout of his trite philosophical ramblings without having to worry about
Colby snickering or Liz rolling her eyes. Tina would at least pretend to
take him seriously for strategy sake. Tina seems like the kind of home
nurse that winds up getting the inheritance instead of the kids.

Back at camp, the girls make Colby a carwarming bouquet. Hopefully, they
have not broken some ecological law about picking wildflowers, which is a
crime in California. Colby has seen the data from the focus groups, and
shelved the pilot hat for his cool "outback" hat. Jeff comes to bring him
to his new car and his hot meal and hot shower. You can tell Jeff likes
these guys better than last year's crew too. "Where's Keith?" "Who the
hell cares," everyone laughs.

Colby's mom has been flown in as a surprise visitor for Colby's meal, yay!
So glad it wasn't Hatch. Colby lays it on thick when he tells his Mommy
how rough it's been and how hungry he is (he leaves out the part where,
unlike his friends, he's gotten some nice food every three or four days by
winning every freaking reward challenge that involves food). It would have
been great television if she started crying and beating up on Jeff with her
handbag, "What have you been doing to my baby boy!?" Colby sleeps in his
tent/car, then wakes up and his mother takes pictures of him showering.
Um, Interesting.

Colby's mom visits the camp and gives the girls a big hug. She is
especially maternal towards doomed Lizzy and gives her much needed
mommy-ing. I would have loved to get Colby's mom's take on Jerri, can you
imagine Jerri trying her serpentine suck-up routine and Mrs. D slapping her
down? Sigh. Even the families are improved over last year, as Colby's Mom
is actually aware of world news, unlike Dumb Sean's stupid dad who didn't
know squat. Colby is disappointed to hear that the dreaded New York
Yankees have won yet another World Series, "It's so tiresome when the same
people keep winning over and over!" Then Mom brings out the care-packages
from home. Keith gets emotional when he sees pictures of his kids--yes,
they're apparently real! Now I am very perturbed over the fact that they
did NOT chat with Dad online. Is that the evil "Sweet Pea" at work? Part
of Keith's master plan? Are they just shy (mother's genes would have to
play into that one)? I mean, a month in the Outback, and they don't get to
be there when he makes contact? Tina tells Mom that she raised Colby
right. I don't know how long Mom was there, but did you see how many
peanuts they ate while she was there? Damn.

Mom defies the evil Les Moonves and gives Colby a Texas flag bandanna--more
Texan propaganda at Bear Monday. Though, for all we know, Elizabeth's
self-made immunity headdress includes her state flag--I mean, who the hell
would know what the Rhode Island flag looks like? Do they even have one?
I actually have a long-standing feud with Rhode island (they don't know
anything about it). Why on earth is the tiniest state in the Union (with a
teensy coastline, I'm sure) allowed
to be called "the Ocean State?" I don't get it. They should be "The
Littlest State," or something more accurate. Or California could trade
them "the Golden State," which is a stupid meaningless name that I'm
certain we
only took because Rhode island took "Ocean State" and Florida had "Sunshine
State." "Golden State." What does that even mean??

ANYWAY, Colby tells us his only loyalty is to Tina, at this point, giving
us some false hope that Keith could be cast out if he doesn't secure
immunity in the giant game of memory. I CAN NOT believe they didn't do
product placement here, "Now...do you remember where you saw the bag of
cool Ranch Doritos, Colby?" "I think it was near the Bud Light bottle...or
was it the Reebok shoe? I'm still kinda overwhelmed from winning that
Pontiac Aztek, Jeff." Colby wins AGAIN.

AGAIN!!

Elizabeth points out to Keith two kangaroos jumping by. She doesn't
realize it is an omen of DEATH! :0

Elisabeth practically begs Tina not to vote her out, but Tina had her mind
up a long time ago, I think. Either Keith hasn't done anything in her book
that warrants turning on him (sweet Tina version) or she, like Colby, sees
him as a million dollar insurance policy for the million (plotting Tina
version) OR she thinks Keith thinks he owes her and will thus choose to
take her into the final two if Keith wins immunity (conniving Tina). Colby
tells us for the umpteenth time (and if he wins immunity this week we'll
have to hear it YET again, that he is torn between voting out Keith or
someone who is ten times the better person but a threat to his getting
enough votes to win. And yet again, he stays with Keith. Jerri is the
only Ogakor person he's voted out of Bear Monday, he didn't help dump
Amber.

Tribal Council. I like that they showed us some flashes of the long
journey from camp to council, it was cool. Is it just me, or does the jury
always look like they walked right out of the shower and into their seats?
So stylish and refreshed. Jeff asks if Tina resents Colby winning
everything, and covering her bets, Tina raves, "Not even the slightest bit,
Jeff. Why, you've gotta just stand in awe of someone as magnificent as
Colby! I'd love for my daughter to grow up and marry a man like
Colby--hell, I'd marry him myself if things were different. If he wins
immunity yet again next time, I would be pleased as punch!" Then Jeff asks
Keith, "Do you still feel like you can compete? Because you looked pretty
pathetic out there the other day, cheating as usual, falling on your face a
couple times. What's up with that?" Keith replies, "Well, I've lost 27
pounds, OK? How can a person stay competitive when they've lost so much
weight?"

Uh...so did everyone else, Keith.

Jeff asks Elisabeth how she chooses who to vote for, "Well, ever since I
was a little girl, growing up in little little Rhode Island, I've listened
to the little voices in my head. And they've been screaming Keith for the
last week or so. Really loudly. I'm actually a little frightened."

Keith votes for Elisabeth, telling her he'd love for his daughter to turn
out like her, "I'd love for her to spend a day with you--or even a whole
summer, if that's OK. Me and Kirsten need a little peas and carrot time,
if you catch my meaning. If you could take the boy to...that'd be great."
Elisabeth votes for Keith, telling him that, as opposed to last week, when
she voted for him because he's such a pompous jerk, its not personal this
time. She knows that Colby MIGHT vote for Keith...

But, he doesn't. Liz is voted out by the Ogakor three. Tina draws a sad
crying face--yeah, we saw that trick when you backstabbed Mad Dog, Tina.
We ain't buying it! Liz turns to the final three and screams "Eat Rice and
Die!!" No, not really. She says "Go get 'em" and tells Tina to try and
win that immunity idol. Is that a tip off that Tina has her vote?? I
loved Elisabeth's farewell, "They kicked me out because I would have kicked
their butts" You know it! Elisabeth should be applauded for making it as
far as she did. She was no do-nothing throw-away tool like Stoopid Soo.
Elisabeth stuck around because she was a good person, she carried her fair
share, she was nice company and she didn't roll over and die. She fanned
the flames of Ogakor resentment to get rid of Jerri and just plain outshone
Amber. Is anyone else unnerved by how *happy* Amber is over in that jury
box? Anyone want to bet that Amber and Jerri vote the same? What, no
takers?? ;)

Next week: May 3rd!! Three hour Survivor Extravaganza!!!! Wooo Hooo!!
Whoever wins the final immunity challenge (And I hope it's an endurance
one, i.e., stand on this pole or don't let go of this log , etc. ) gets to
pick who they want to take with them into the vote. I'm hoping against
hope that Colby and Tina pick each other but each will most likely take
Keith at this point. If Keith wins, I guess he'd take Tina but...who
knows? The twist this year over last is that no one knows who won. They
voted, but none of the contestants, including the winner, have any idea who
voted for who. That will be revealed to them during the live (on the east
coast) broadcast--they learn when we learn. That's kinda cool. What I
don't get is how they are going to squeeze two hours out of the final
immunity challenge and vote (last year, Sue was voted out in the same two
hour episode as Rudy, than we had the vote). But, I'll be there. Hats of
to those of you having big parties, with Bud Light and Rice and party
torches bought at your local Target store, but since I don't want to spend
three hours shushing people, I plan on going it alone. You may THINK you
care about Survivor as much as I do...but you really don't. Take care!
Christine :D

Survivor 2.12

Sorry for the delay, I was at my parents, and I just can't manage their
laptop's "mouse." Nothing compared to the hardships endured by our poor
waterlogged survivors, but enough to make me wait until I was back at my
computer before I composed my latest review. I'm sorry to say, the extra
week of reflection will not make it any more witty or interesting, it's
just late.

OK, I am so freaking tired of hearing Rich and the other last year
survivors say that this year's group isn't having a tougher time than they
did! You were on a tropical isle with hammocks and Tapioca pudding and
spearfishing, these guys are in an inhospitable wasteland of burning heat
and monsoons, no pudding, they've had to rebuild their camp like three
times...grrr! This year's survivors are like homeless people, not last
year's lazy-ass
tourists.

Also, enough with the reality show bashing. Now I have to read in TV Guide
that "Once and Again" might not be renewed and in it, the author and the
shows producers talk about big bad reality TV. Zuh? Why not, blame "Law
and Order," another show with writers, that's kicking your ass, not
"Survivor." Or blame the idiots who made that scheduling decision at ABC,
the network that killed another of your fine shows, "My so called Life,"
back when the only famous Richard Hatch was that guy that used to be on
"Battlestar Galactica"--incidentally ANOTHER show that ABC canceled despite
its devoted audience. If ABC fails to renew the wonderful "Once and
Again," don't anyone let them blame "Survivor." Networks cancel and
mishandle and abuse great shows all the time (when you're eight, Galactica
is a great show) and they screw over their fans and they schedule crap to
replace it and then they say how sorry they are that they couldn't make the
show work even though they never tried and they don't really care about
your letters or your protests or your feelings. It is not a new phenomena
and it is certainly not the fault of those poor wet hungry people at Bear
Monday!! >:0

Whew. Please don't forward this to any TV executives--I'm presently
unemployed and
looking for work in the industry.

This week's episode begins the way...they all seem to open these days, with
everyone sitting around telling us that they are wet, hungry and depressed.
They miss food, the shelter is worthless, blah blah blah. But then comes
the news that they get to contact their loved ones for the reward
challenge--FINALLY, we get to see who they have back home. We learn that
Elisabeth is nicknamed "Bessy" and Keith is "Carrots." Add that to
Kentucky Joe and the Colbster...that's a lot of stupid nicknames. Tina has
no nickname, move forward two spaces. Notice the guilt danish and coffee
Jeff P and CBS provide for everyone. CBS business affairs probably went
over the release forms and told Mark Burnett, "Even if they DID mis-ration
the rice, there's nothing in these contracts that says that gives us the
right to starve them to death. Their survivors (pardon the pun) might have
some legal recourse."

I'll admit, I cried my eyes out during this episode. I cried when Rodger's
wife cried, I cried when he cried, I cried when Liz cried, I cried and
cried. We learn that Colby is a bit of a momma's boy--I was surprised that
CBS didn't confiscate HER Texas flag, "You can have your son back, Mrs.
Donaldson...but...we're gonna want something in return. It's gonna cost
you your flag. Mr. Moonves just likes
taking away people's flags, ma'am, we don't really know why." It kinda
reminded me of how, on written TV shows, when they pretend to go to another
location but they don't REALLY go, you just have the fake Eiffel Tower in
the window or whatever. I don't think Colby's mom is Texan at all. That
scene was shot over on "The Price is Right" stage, this is all a big scam
like the moon landing.

Also,
remember when Keith said Tina was like a sister to him? They are both 40
years old, they both have two kids, they are both divorced and now involved
with younger people. Both said it was wrong to search Kel's bag but both
voted him off because they wouldn't stand up to Jerri. Suspicious. I
thought Tina's hubby was a cutie-pie. I thought it
was weird that we got Keith's "Sweet pea" and not his kids--maybe they're
little tikes? I didn't think Keith's "spontaneous" proposal was as
nefarious as Colby later suggested, but I doubt it was that much of a
surprise to Kirstin. I'm sure it was discussed "back in the world," as
Keith might say. No way Chef Keith throws that out there without being
100% positive about the answer. Anyway, Tina winds up winning, and I was
glad since she had the kids and all.

It's nice that Keith is the only one left that I hate. I like the other
four, whereas at this point last year you had Rich, Sean and Sue who I
hated and Rudy who I tolerated and Kelly was the only one I was really
rooting for.

Everyone is invigorated by their chats with statesiders. They toss around
the departed Nick's Frisbee (later, we see Rodger using Jeff's discarded
luxury coloring book, the ghosts of luxury items past. Too bad Jerri
didn't leave her bongo drum). They
pray and say a Waltonesque goodnight to one another. You can take the show
away from CBS studios, but you can't take the CBS out of the show.

The next day, Rodger and Keith find a smoldering log in the woods. Keith
tells us that "That fire we found was instrumental in the making of our
next fire. We are truly like the cavemen out here, struggling to
survi--watch out for that camera power cord, Liz--struggling to survive the
elements, discovering fire...proposing to our girlfriends on national
television over the Internet."

Colby decides to replace his cool wide brimmed hat for a bizarre wool-lined
leather pilot's hat. Move back three spaces, unless there's some story
behind it like it belonged to a dead war-hero relative or something...no,
no, it's dorky regardless.

Keith tells the camera he sees it as he and Tina and Colby at the end--no
argument from me. He
doesn't want to offend Rodger and Liz though, as they are future members of
his jury, but he's KEITH, so naturally, he does. With the rice. Keith the
Kontroller decides to waste a bunch of food in order to show everyone
what a great resourceful cook he is. He blows off Liz and Colby when they
complain, then frets that he's "vulnerable" when they agree that he's wrong
but doesn't see that he was completely responsible for alienating them.
Kick-ass Tortillas couldn't save Jerri from herself, what good are stupid
ego-ricecakes gonna be to Carrots? Keith is trying to be Rich-like here,
trying to be the food provider. But whereas evil-but-charming Rich was
actually going out and spearing fish and bringing in fresh supplies,
human-but-pompous Keith is taking the group's meager and hard-earned food
supply and doing what HE wants to do, regardless of their feelings, because
he seems to think that being a professional chef means he's in chargeof the
food, the fire and the matches (the ones he left in his pocket in his shirt
on the ground when the camp was unattented.)

Think about it: If Keith is in the final two, sure, he could make a speech
about winning immunity on the pole challenge to help lead Ogakor over
kucha, he can talk about risking his life to get the food can in the
river...but YOU KNOW he's gonna talk about his freakin paella pan and how
he tried to "spice things up" on the cooking front, and it's just going to
remind everyone about what a controlling officious jerk he was Keith Famie,
Marquis of Matches, Regent of the Rice Pot, Prince of the Paella Pan. The
whole rice cake thing was just so he can use that recipe in his cookbook
and on the CBS morning show as an "actually used in the outback" recipe.

I hate Keith.

Now the Survivors talk about how bored they are. They watch what Colbster
calls the "Outback Television." Don't laugh. If the Writers Guild goes on
strike, that's your midseason replacement show right there: "You loved it
on "Survivor: The Australian Outback" Now join FIRE for an all new series
of excitement. Will it keep burning?! What if it goes out?! You won't
believe what happens next!" And I'll of course have to write a review, "I
SO think the bottom log is going to break into two pieces this week!" and
you all can write back "Christine you are so mean, the bottom log is just
as strong as the other logs, and if anyone's going to break in two, it's
gonna be that new branch they threw on in week three!"

Tina reveals that there are hearts painted on the walls throughout her
Tennessee home. *Shudder* That's worth a stupid nickname, go back two
spaces. Colby looked like he was going to pull a Michael and put his face
in the fire rather than listen to Tina's verbal home tour.

Immunity Challenge, and more educational programming. Nothing can beat
last year's "memory challenge" with Rudy saying "I dunno" into the camera
every question. They have to unlock their shackles and bring them to Jeff.
Keith finishes first, but, seizing defeat from the jaws of victory yet
again, he drops a lock on the way and Colby wins AGAIN. I laughed and
laughed.

The day of the vote arrives, Tina gives everyone a big hug. Then she asks
Rodger who needs the money more, he or Elisabeth. Gentleman Rodger tells
her he was once a CFO at a bank and that Liz should be the one to stay.
Now, don't be distracted by Rodger's nobility here. Liz would do EXACTLY
the same thing in his place, I THINK--we'll never really know, why?
BECAUSE, Tina doesn't ask her. This isn't a choice here. Tina isn't
asking Rodger which one she should eliminate, she's merely trying to
assuage her guilt by getting the patients' permission to pull the plug.
Rodger is your million dollar winner if you don't ax him, Elisabeth is more
of a question mark. Tina had no intention of leaving Kentucky Joe in the
final four, but she speaks softly before hitting him with her big stick.

If Rodger was still CFO of a bank, I'd fly to Kentucky to entrust my money
to him.

Keith tells the camera he could get "blindsided" at the vote. Can it BE
blindsiding if you see it coming??

Liz continues to pay attention to the cracks in the Ogakor alliance. It
helped her and Rodger leap frog over Jerri and Amber--can it still get her
past Keith?

Jeff asks Keith about his mental state: "Well, since I don't have my sweet
pea and my employees here, I have been playing mind games with myself. You
have to expect the unexpected. Contrary to what I have always believed,
some people aren't very appreciative of culinary creativity. You're your
own worst enemy out here. Next to the people who hate you, that is."

Jeff asks Tina if she feels vulnerable: "Well, it changes. One day, I'm
feeling mighty fine, looking at the wonderful community of decent folk I
have built by weeding out those bad people who don't live up to my
standards. But then I see them whispering and I realize, this isn't first
season, there's no Sue here, no Sean. these are all smart, observant
people. My dictatorship, benevolent as it may be, might ruffle some
feathers and cost me down the road."

Jeff, knowing that Rodger has taken a bullet for Liz, asks her about
Rodger, and Jerri vomits as the two sing one another's praises. Then Jerri
cackles with glee to learn of Keith's dropped lock. Keith says "That's the
way the cookie crumbles, don't cry over spilt milk, don't count your
chickens until they're Richard Hatched." And was dropping the lock really,
as Keith says, a "faux pas"? Described in Websters as "a slip or blunder
in etiquette, manners or conduct; an embarrassing social error." See,
dropping the lock was a physical blunder. An example of a SOCIAL blunder
might be...Uh, gee, I dunno, wasting the communal food to stroke your ego
and ignoring your friend's objections or...maybe...throwing a bucket into
the air in celebration about winning a contest before you actually won
it...things like that.

Liz and Rodger vote for Keith. The mini-alliance holds and Rodger is voted
out. Keith, still deeply involved in his "Survivor is Viet Nam"
psychodrama tells Rodger, "Well, buddy...brother, *heavy sigh* I gotta do
this to survive. I gotta leave you behind. But...Maybe, if the cookie
crumbles just right, I'll see you *heavy dramatic sigh*...on the other
side." Uh, do ya mean the hotel Keith? You'll see him at the hotel and
eat a meal together in a couple days when THE GAME SHOW is over?

Getting rid of Rodger was necessary--he'd win, hands down, over any of the
others. Now it's wide open. Colby, Tina and Liz are probably all close
together. Look for Liz to get knocked off unless she wins immunity--having
Keith in the final two SEEMS to be part of both Tina and Colby's plans.
Curious to see what would happen if Keith had immunity and had to pick
between C and T. Keith would have been dead WAY back in week 4 if Colby
hadn't broken ranks with Jerri and eliminated Mitch. But Keith probably
still feels beholden to Tina for her "noble" stepping-off the pole in the
infamous 10 hour challenge. Now, I like Tina, but, thinking back on that,
Keith's "I need this, I owe you" profession etc...isn't that weird? I
mean, Tina had no votes. She didn't need immunity AT ALL. Jerri and Keith
were the only vulnerable members. Colby stepped off early to leave himself
open to votes (he was safe in the tie as he had no previous votes.) Keith
needed immunity for the good of Tina and Colby. So...Tina standing on that
pole benefited NO ONE...except her if it bonded Keith to her. Keith is to
Tina as Amber is to Jerri?

If they're smart, Colby and Keith will team up to get rid of Tina, who
seems the vote-favorite to me, but...I dunno, I dunno. An endurance
immunity challenge between Tina, Colby and Keith could be great television
though. Hard to imagine anyone quitting. I'd love to see the vote come
down to Colby and Tina, just because I think it'd be the closest to call,
and therefore the best episode.

Next week--er...this week...er...today! A surprise guest comes to camp:
Les Moonves? Martha Stewart? The cast of CSI? I hope it's not Richard
Hatch. Any of the first season survivors--even Stupid Sue, just not Hatch.
I heard him say that Liz's only chance in a vote would be the fact that
"some juries like a sweet perky girl" or something...and I'm
thinking....Uh, there's only been one jury voting on "Survivor" and they
picked you. What are you babbling about?? Nothing the ex-Survivor's have
told us has been relevant. Colby Tina and Keith got in with a weak three
person alliance, not a strong evil four person one, Ogakor wasn't picked
off one by one, etc. The show works because of what you can't predict.
Hatch was touting Jeffy Jeff, then Colby, now he's bashing Colby and
supporting Tina. And if freaking Elisabeth wins, he'll say "she played it
just right, just like I said." Rich is such a weenie.

Hope you all are doing well. Christine :) "E! True Hollywood Story" on
Survivor First Season Next Wednesday at 9pm!!

Survivor 2.11

And that's why they play the games. Elisabeth and Rodger seemed like
sitting ducks last week, but Amber goes in a stunner. You gotta love
Survivor.

The episode opens with a piece of music I'd call "The Bear Monday Blues."
Everyone's miserable and hungry. Despite the new batch of rice, most of the
tribe is still complaining. Tina is grateful for the rice, despite having
to sell the family farm to do it, revealing, "I was hoping for a bag of
Doritos. Regular, Cool Ranch--even those new Jalepeno-style chips are
delicious. But we have rice, which means we
won't starve to death, which was my great fear. I was confident CBS would
just leave us out here to die--I have heard horror stories about how they
treat their employees, and let's face it, if we started cannibalizing one
another for food, it would deliver a younger, sicker male demographic that
right now only watches CBS for Craig Kilborn."

Amber is a bit more optimistic, singing, "When I'm stuck with a day that's
gray and lonely, I just stick out my chin and grin and say: The sun will
come out tomorrow, bet your bottom bag of rice that tomorrow there'll be
sun." Amber must be feeling good to still be out here with less than two
weeks to go, having done practically nothing except help Jerri guard the
rice pot. She is now the odd man out of Ogakor, which made me feel sorry
for her. I mean, she's not evil, she's just weak. She fell in with a bad
crowd, officer.

Tina's not buying it. This was our first clue to tonight's outcome, Tina's
complaining that it wasn't fair that someone as useless as Amber could "fly
under the radar" and make it to the final four without earning it. "I don't
think Amber's justified to me her deserving to be out here. I mean, she
hasn't really even stabbed anyone in the back--why is she on Survivor again?
I got rid of Mad Dog, I got rid of Mitch, and I can certainly get rid of
Outback Barbie. Sweet girl, though." I scoffed at the moment because I
think, strategically, Amber's wishy
washiness worked in Tina's favor if she wanted to eliminate Keith or Colby
down the line, and, as the pointless party, she could be a million-dollar
insurance policy at the end--Jerri's the only one I could imagine voting for
Amber, unless it was between her and Keith. Even so I think Keith would win
against Amber. Elisabeth and Colby backed up my assumptions, with Liz
bemoaning her imminent doom and Colby defensively insisting that Rodger and
Elisabeth
are well aware that they are at Ogakor's mercy and are not long for this
world, "Look, Rodger and Elisabeth KNOW that they are only here because me
and Keith and Tina have allowed it to be so."

We get a re-run reward challenge, Kelly won the biner race last season. Liz
and Amber squeal like eight year-olds when they see the Aussie cowboys:
"Horseys!" Jeff tells them the winner will ride with the horsemen to their
camp and have beef stew, beans and of course, the nectar of the gods, Bud
Light. You can bet the Aussie cowboys were thrilled to have to drink
American swill for the cameras. I found myself rooting for Colby to lose,
just because his winning everything has become tiresome. Rich claims that
winning challenges is bad, and that he could have won them but chose not
to--whatever. I enjoyed Keith's inability to manage the challenge at all.
Colby wins as usual, and Jeff taunts the hungry campers with Colby's food,
which he tries to give the others. Jeff won't hear of it. Since the reward
challenges are designed to foster jealousy and bitterness, there's no
sharing allowed. Colby goes off on a hellish horse ride through a
thunderstorm over swollen creeks--good thing he COULD ride a horse, it
looked dicey.

But the true hell is what awaits the losers, who hike back to find their
camp has been swept away. Rodger saw this coming at the merger, but they
still rebuilt on the sand last week. I got really choked up at the ruined
camp and how sad our poor little survivors were--I was hoping for some State
Farm Insurance product placement, but no such luck. The camp looks like a
CSI crime scene. "We've lost the rice, we've lost the tent, we've lost our
knives, our fishing hooks" Tina laments, "It's a shame there's no Target
store out here. Target has everything a body needs: food, housewares,
sporting equipment--all in one convenient location with those great low
Target prices!"

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, American cowboy Colby bonds with the Aussie
cowboys. Of course, they think all Americans are Texan cowboys or
California lifeguards anyway.

The rest of the gang goes looking for the missing rice canister, and Keith
spots it. Keith and Tina risk life and limb to get the canister which is
caught in the river. I have to give them major props, although Tina seemed
more sensible--Keith tried to walk across the little water fall--a much
riskier move than just diving in underneath like Tina did. Was Keith trying
not to get wet? When the group returns, they realize they can't cook
tonight because the matches were in Keith's wind-breaker pocket (Keith is
still match monitor) and were swept away. Uh, kids, remember when Jeff says
"fire represents life"? It's true. I know the first season survivors had
it easier (despite Rich's assertions on today's Early show, puh-leeze.
Sunsets, superhero game, tapioca pudding? Y'all were living large Richy
Rich) but they DID keep their matches hanging in a waterproof canister
hanging from a tree. Of course, that would make them community property,
which wouldn't sit well with the Chef. Anyway, the cold wet hungry group
has to huddle together for warmth and no one gets much sleep. The next
morning, Keith tells us, "I can honestly say that was the worst night of my
life, and I just spent about twenty nights with Jerri, so you can imagine
how terrible it was. I mean, I'm even counting the night she sang Fiona
Apple songs." The group argues over where to rebuild. Rodger finally gets
his way and they build in the grass--Tina seems VERY concerned about being
hit by lightning and I wonder if there's any childhood trauma back story
there.

Colby returns to find the shambles of a camp and the family reunites. Amber
seems especially glad to see Colbster. Just me, or were they playing music
from the Shawshank Redemption as they showed how miserable everyone was?
Colby feels guilty for missing it, and the double-edged sword of reward
challenges when they take you away from the others. Only Jerri benefitted
from the isolation, because everyone felt like a winner when Jerri was gone.
Now, on the Early Show today, Bryant Gumbel and the panel kept talking about
how resentful the others were of Colby's winning all the time, but I'm not
actually catching that from the tribesmen. It keeps Colby out of the
descision-making loop, but Amber said everyone wants to win and doesn't
begrudge Colby or anyone else for trying their hardest, and I'm inclined to
believe her. Rich and Sue have both gone on record saying "don't win any
challenges, it makes people dislike you," when we ALL know that they got rid
of everyone in a preconceived order. Rich and Sue didn't win any challenges
because they weren't good at anything except lying in the hammocks plotting.
Stop acting like Kelly didn't outshine you.

Immunity challenge! Jeff greets the motley crew, "Say, back at the hotel,
we were all watching the tape--you guys had a rough night, huh?" Tina's "Go
bleep yourself" glare was a classic. "We don't need your pity!" Amber
shoots back at the well-scrubbed Mr. Probst. The challenge was great, and
revealing as everyone apologized for trying to knock the others out. Keith
and Colby kept calling one another "bro" the way you call someone "sir" or
"ma'am" when you work a nametag job and you can't call them what you really
want to call them without getting fired. It was just hilarious as everyone
made excuses for wanting to win: "Uh, that's the closest plate to me..."
Colby, this year's Kelly, is almost unstoppable in athletic challenges.

No real hints leading up to tribal council. I thought it was mildly
arrogant of Amber to say that tribal council is a bummer because there's one
less person to talk to when you get back, without expressing fear about her
being booted off. Maybe that was a hint, but I didn't catch it.

Jeff asks about the shelter, and Rodger blames the womenfolk for wanting a
softer surface to sleep on. Careful careful, Rodger, lots of women on the
jury--and as I remember it, Jerri was insistent on the beach. No one wanted
to fight her because they didn't want to come off abrasive at the merger.
Or they lacked the guts to cross the Wicked Queen. You made your bed, now
you'll have to fish it out of the stream. Blame, even if there's truth to
it, comes off bad at tribal council. Jeff asks Lil Liz how she's holding
up, "Just hanging on, minute by minute, waiting for God's mercy to free us
from the tyranny of CBS Programming." Tina goes on a full-on rant, "There's
a new sheriff in town. I want to spend the last few days here with the
people I like best, the nicest people." Jeff:"Does that mean the people
you've gotten rid of are jerks?" *take camera 2, Alicia with a "Choose your
next words carefully, bitch" scowl on her face* "Er...uh...no, no, of course
not. I love them, they're sweet kids but they had to be taken out. It was
their time to go."

The voting begins, and it APPEARS the alliance is going to knock off
Rodger--which surprised me. I thought Elisabeth was a higher risk to win
immunity, but it looks like the alliance felt Rodger was more sympathetic?
Amber calls him a "father figure," which I'd agree with--so glad she didn't
say grandpa. Colby shrugs, "Stickin' with the batting order, coach. That's
the way the cookie crumbles, your number is up. Que Sera sera. Hasta La
Vista." But Colby missed the meeting when the ownership of the Bear Monday
Survivor baseball team shifted to Keith and Tina, who decided to fly in the
face of all strategy by eliminating people in order of...niceness?
Usefulness? Worth? Tina is clearly the power here. But I think that's
clear to the jury and even if it's a benevolent dictatorship, I wonder if
this could cost Tina in the end. Keith was right last week--siding with
Jerri was a tactical error on Amber's part, and Tina and Keith never forgot
it. Maybe that's why this makes sense--they could never trust her NOT to
betray them with Colby. Of course, she is now back under Jerri's control at
the hotel. And I just don't see Jerri voting for Colby, Keith OR TIna,
unless she has to.

I was pleased to see Amber go--she is the least deserving of the six. But
now what? Who is least deserving of the remaining five? Based on what
we've seen, I think Rodger and Elisabeth work harder than the others at
fishing, and Keith and Tina did the exciting food rescue...So Colby seems
the best candidate for dismissal all of the sudden. However, if he gets
immunity, I wouldn't be surprised if he uses the opportunity to off
Keith...though Keith, to me, is now the one you want next to you at the end.
He WILL NOT win that jury vote, he just won't. But...Keith is the least
likeable (to me), so if this is just about who Tina wants to play backgammon
with, I'd guess Rodger and Elisabeth are going to the end--otherwise, why
not off them now? I'm so confused. Rodger has such a great chance of
winning a jury vote, he's done so much, he's taught people to fish...I don't
get keeping him around unless you really are SO fair that you REALLY TRULY
want the most deserving person to win...and that's not the vibe I get from
Tina and Keith. They aren't horrible people like Rich, but they want to
win, right? And they have agendas...right? I just don't get it.

Of course, I've been wrong about everything so far, and I love it. I hope
next week is equally surprising. The scenes tell us we will finally get
messages from home (I now suspect CBS was saving on money by delaying this
one, having to procure fewer letter/video/possible reward visits in week
twelve than week seven) and some in-fighting between Keith and Colby--are we
finally going to lose the passive from the aggression? Stay Tuned!

X-Files 8.16 "Three Words" Now that's more like it...

Hey, we're on the right track. I mean, don't look to hard, but overall,
at least we're getting somewhere with this invasion thing. That's cool.
Plus, the whole angle with the census bureau rules. That's when I love
the Conspiracy arc, when the seemingly mundane things about America are
turned into a sinister plot, like in the third season openers with the whole
plot to trace citizens via their smallpox vaccination scar. Now we are told
of a government plot to use census information to determine who among us
would make the best alien test subjects. That's cool.

What's not so cool is the fact that Mulder was dead for like, three
months, and no one's freaking. I mean, Scully's mom was there, you know? The
whole Bureau had to have been notified. How can there not be this huge
outcry? I mean is there a non-miraculous non-freaky plausible
explanation of how a human could lie in a coffin for three months?? And be alive??
Was an autopsy done--if so WHY THE HELL NOT?? If so, how exactly did he
survive that--did he miraculously heal? I mean, if there's some cover
story that they're feeding the masses, fine, but let us know Chris!

The episode begins with an X-Files take on an actual event, a man jumps
the fence at the White House and runs onto the grounds and shoots himself.
On the X-Files, this guy turns out to be an employee of the US Census
Bureau. He hands one of the secret service guys a disc that reads "Fight the
Future," a tagline from 1998's X-Files film, and reference to colonization.

Mulder has flashbacks to his horrifying torture at the hands of his
abductors (who was that again? If he remembers, has he told Scully about
this? Has he been debriefed by the govt.? Scully couldn't recall
anything about her abduction, which was less painful--we think.
Does that mean it was different aliens? Was Scully taken by the govt.
and Mulder by aliens??) Scully comes to him with startling info--
he's in perfect health and his scars are healing themselves.
The virus is gone, and the disease he was dying of
(last season, we weren't informed till this season) is
gone. Mulder is underwhelmed and kinda jokey, which confuses Scully. We
can't REALLY feel the happiness of this because we were told after the
fact that Mulder was sick. Who the hell cares that he's healed of a disease
we never really "believed" he had?

For my fellow members of the Mulder wardrobe patrol, most factions should
be happy: There was blue shirt Mulder, Brown leather jacket Mulder, Black
leather jacket Mulder and, MY personal favorite, soft T-shirt Mulder. I
think that black T-shirt is even better than my beloved gray. Sorry
Turtleneck Mulder fans, maybe next week ;)

Scully takes Mulder to his apartment and discovers its been cleaned
up--who paid Mulder's rent the six months he was missing? I mean,
Scully REALLY keeps the place as a shrine, paying his rent, keeping
all his stuff, the three months he's dead. DEAD. I mean, it's hard, but
when someone dies, the family and friends pack up the stuff. ANYWAY,
Mulder notices one of his fish has died, which I thought was sweet.
Scully gets all mushy on Fox, telling him her prayers have been answered.
Mulder can't seem to connect. Scully is hurt that he doesn't seem to feel
or care what a big deal it is for him to be alive--especially considering how
hard the last 6 months have been on her. He apologizes--
for his POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS maybe??? Lay off, Dana.
Remarkable, he's the only guy reacting somewhat believably to rising from the dead.

Freaky preacher Absalom is slipped a newspaper article in prison about
the White House census guy and it causes him to look even more freaky than
normal--must not be good news. But...why all the intrigue, what don't they
have TV in prison?

Kersh calls Skinner and Dogg into his office--he's irritated about a memo
from Scully asking that Mulder be reassigned to the X-Files. None of
this makes sense. Again, why does Kersh keep them open if he hates them so
much? Why WOULDN'T he want Mulder on them instead of Dogg? Anyway, he
claims that the X-Files have been more successful under Dogg than
Mulder--more cleared cases. Dogg is all aw shucks "I'm just a simple new
Yawk cop, doing my ting." Kersh claims that the X-Files can't be about
personal crusades like Mulder's--even though it BEGAN as a personal
crusade of Mulder's 8 years ago when, as Dogg says, Mulder started the unit.
Dogg refuses to be the one to tell Mulder he's off the X-Files.

Skinner and Scully tell Mulder the news, and Skinner, still inexplicably
coming off like a toady tells Mulder that Kersh is trying to punish
Mulder (?). Mulder hasn't heard of Dogg, and Scully tells him that he was her
partner in Mulder's absence. When Mulder implies he's in on the
conspiracy, Scully vouches for his character. Mulder shrugs it off, saying he's
anxious to get back to work on the X-Files, Kersh and Doggett be damned.

Absolom escapes his prison chain gang and breaks into Dogg's house (he's
freaky, so we'll gave Carter and co. the benefit of the doubt on his
ability to find Dogg's address and manage a break-in) and demands Dogg
help him. Absolom checks the back of Dogg's neck to prove he's still human.
Dogg's house is still inexplicably large and homey and now we are to
believe he would go out and buy an iMac--in "Snow." Yeah, Dogg looks
like the kind of guy who not only gets a "cute" computer, but asks for a
vanity color. Please tells us about his wife, dead kid--other kids? Soon?
Absolom tells a doubtful Dogg that the invasion is already begun--there
are aliens among us.

We don't get a scene where Scully blasts Mulder for not telling her he
was dying, that'd be nice. Skinner holds a slideshow about the missing
Absolom. One of the slides is a picture of a bunch of alleged "alien
abductees" who Absolom supposedly healed. As usual, the Other Agents are
there to snicker at the mention of aliens. Scully is upset that Dogg
isn't there. Skinner claims this is an X-file, therefore he can't run the
case--it has to be Dogg. This makes no sense, since Skinner has more
experience than Dogg and, since when was Dogg in charge? Can't Scully
run the case? I realize she's very very pregnant but...she's there so why
can't she run the case? She gets a page on her phone--Mulder requests
their presence. He's at his desk, all suited up and ready to work. He's
positively gleeful, but they are distressed. He wants to run the show,
they are afraid he's gonna get them all in trouble.

Mulder shows them the photo of the alien abductees that Skinner showed
the Other Agents--the white house census disc guy is in the picture. Scully
seems embarrassed to have missed the connection. Mulder scoffs at the
very idea of Dogg's being able to deal with this case. When Mulder starts
talking vast conspiracy, suddenly, now that's he's back, Scully and
Skinner start questioning everything he says, even though they were
on board when he was dead. They tell him he's being paranoid.
Mulder and Scully snoop around the evidence locker that has the
white house census disc guy's stuff. Mulder doesn't give a crap that he
could go to prison for doing so. His behavior is totally in step, I thought
with Mulder--not just OLD Mulder, but you know, Mulder wasn't exactly
rule-guy BEFORE he was sliced and diced in a spaceship and laid in a coffin
for three months. Why WOULD he be afraid of office politics, the end of his
career, prison, etc.? Scully's fretting over his lack of concern about his safety,
his career, etc. was just like old times. Conveniently, the first box Mulder opens
just happens to hold the guy's lap top, and he turns it on and finds lots
and lots of encrypted info. Scully helps him swipe the hard drive cuz
she loves him.

Absolom and Dogg march into the Census Bureau. Absolom has taped a gun
at his back so as to shoot him in the head if things go awry. None of this
makes sense. The guard wants to know who the hell they are. Dogg shows
his badge. Okay, yeah, he's FBI--but like Scully throwing her medical
credentials around (apparently nurses will do anything you tell them if
you say you're a doctor) the guy just let's Dogg in, without asking what the
hell he's doing there. We know from EIGHT FREAKING YEARS OF
WATCHING THIS SHOW that being FBI agents doesn't gain you access
to anywhere you want, ask Mulder and Scully! The guard doesn't ask who
freaky Absolom is at all, just let's em pass, but sees on his heat detector thing
that Absolom has a gun. They try to gain access to a white room o' computers
but are thwarted by guards, who shoot absolom in the head with a bullet that
burns a little road in Dogg's cheek.

Next day, Dogg is sitting in Skinner's office telling him that Absolom
believed that there was info in the Census bureau that would help prove
"dat dey was already among us--whoeveh dey aw." Mulder storms in, and
Dogg gets up to introduce himself, but Mulder gets in his face, shoving him to
his seat, calling him part of the conspiracy, and accusing him of trying
to cover up the truth and getting Absolom killed. Dogg is flabbergasted at
Mulder's ranting, insisting he was almost killed. Mulder is a big jerk,
basically. He has no reason to trust Dogg--unless you count Sculy's
instincts and word but when has that been enough? Also, who was Absolom?

When we first met him, he seemed to me to be Smith's clueless lackey.
Then last week, he seemed delusional--like he really thought he was Christ and
healing people with Godlike powers, not Smithlike alien mojo. NOW, he's
trying to break into government facilities to get files? And Mulder is
convinced that this man was a truth-seeker based on WHAT, exactly.
Mulder's being a big jerk is totally in character, so we don't mind, but
Skinner tries to excuse him by blaming in on that whole
alien-torture-buried alive thing.

At Scully's, Mulder is greeted warmly by the lone gunmen, here in their
rightful spot in the universe as guest stars, I'm sorry. Langly makes a
joke about Mulder's being the father of Scully's baby, which seems to
indicate that Mulder is the father. Okay. Why didn't Scully just
mention that at the grave site when she was going on about Mulder
being the last?

Why didn't we get to see her tell her mother or Skinner of even Dogg that
she was carrying Mulder's baby. Or what about Mulder's INITIAL reaction
to her being pregnant?? I don't know why Carter keeps cheating us out of
the best scenes, unless its simply that he lacks the talent to write any of
them. The Lone gunmen say there's no way into the stolen hardrive files.
They'd need a password and access to the census computers at the census
building. Scully has obviously done her trembly lip crying things for
the boys, who tell Mulder its impossible and that he should give up. Mulder
says he doesn't care if they outvote him, he's doing it anyway. He then
makes an election scandal reference, meaning its at least mid-November.

Dogg's inside pal Noel--no, he's not the Unabomber--who helped Scully
escape the evil OBGYN conspiracy earlier this year gives Dogg the three
word passphrase into the files Mulder is after. Dogg thinks he's being
used and that Absolom shouldn't have been shot. Since he was holding a
gun and threatening to kill a federal agent, I don't see how Mulder OR Dogg
can really be suspicious of this shooting but, whatever. Noel tells Dogg
"fight the future." Dogg tells Scully to tell Mulder. Scully hesitates,
but tells Mulder. Then she calls Skinner and cries about how worried she
is about Mulder's plans. Skinner tells Dogg and is pissed when Dogg
tells him that he was the one who gave Scully the code. Skinner says "who's
side are you on?" Suddenly, Dogg feels duped. He thinks he's been used to
set up Mulder and rushes to the Census Bureau. Skinner inexplicably does not
follow.

Scully is sitting in a car, waiting to drive getaway for Mulder.
Something a seven month pregnant woman should certainly be doing.
Scully, take a class or something, the kid is supposed to be your number
one priority.
Anyway, the Lone Gunmen are hanging in the wires, bypassing alarms and
codes so that Mulder can get into the computer room at the census place.
Mulder gets into the room Absolom wanted access to and starts looking at
files, using the Fight the future code phrase. Dogg has managed to get
past the guards too and pounds on the door. Mulder glances up and says
"talk to the hand" and keeps typing, so Dogg shoots his way in. This
sounds no alarm, nor does it cause any guards to come running.

Mulder tries to email the files to the media etc. Dogg insists it's a
trap, but Mulder thinks he's trying to con him and won't listen to him.
He insists the world must know that the government is using the Census to
profile people for possible alien abduction (still no reall good why on
that). Scully sees a bunch of troop trucks arriving--I guess all the
guards were waiting far away as part of the set-up, that's okay I guess,
I'll buy that. She warns it's a set-up. Langly tells Mulder its a
set-up--the files can't be emailed, they can't leave the computer. Fox
and Dogg manage to escape through the roof before the government goons can
kill them. There is no "you're a good man, agent Dogg" scene with Mulder, so
presumably he will still distrust DOgg next episode.

Dogg and Skinner confront Unabomber jogger Noel about the set-up and
threaten to expose him. He tells them they need him. They've only
touched the tip of the iceberg, he claims, and they need his information (though
why on earth he thinks they'd trust him after this I don't know). They
aren't happy, but they leave. In closing, we see why he's all about the
big hooded sweatshirt--he has scary bumbs on his spine--He's ONE OF THEM,
and alien pod person!

SO that was cool. There is some irrevocable damage to the show, you
know?
But maybe they can end strong. Next week, no new episode (Easter and
all), then we have 5 more episodes to go until...next season or forever. My
guess is, there's a season nine. What else would Fox do, really? In the
scenes we saw of the next five shows, we see Moonbeam (aka Agent Reyes)
helping Scully deliver her baby. The teaser claims it'll be SHOCKING.
Now, I ask you how can that be? I mean, if it's a baby, what's shocking
about that ? Nothing. If it's an alien baby, what's shocking about
that? Nothing. Maybe it'll be TWINS--one alien, one human!! SHOCKING!! My
sister Jen suspects Jonathan Winters.

Am I the only one who thinks the coolest way to end the show would be to
kill Mulder and Scully? I mean REALLY actually martyr them in the cause
of truth, justice and the American Way. I know they won't but, I think
it'd be cool. My fear is, they go on the run, allowing Moonbeam and Dogg to
solve the X-Files with their occasional very special guest star help, gag.
We'll see. But I'm glad the aliens are here, it looks exciting. For all
my complaints, the show was engaging tonight. Have a good couple weeks.

Christine :)

Survivor 2.10

Proving he wasn't edited to look stupid, I read earlier this week that Dr.
Dumb from first season guessed Nick was going to "fly under the radar" and
win it all. In other Survivor news, the show has had to apologize for the
coral Colby snatched from the great barrier Reef, which is apparently a
crime (seems it was that guide/pilot's job to tell J&C the rules, and it
seems he didn't), and jerri's claiming she was edited to look like a bitch.
America loves to hate you, Jerri, just deal with it. Look on the bright
side--Sean'll believe ya!

The hot weather, rain storms and lack of food all take their toll on the
remaining survivors--who lack the strength to rejoice in Jerri's absence.
This year seems so much harder than last year, so demanding! Last season,
the evil alliance could just lie in their hammocks all day and ignore the
Pagong kids they were going to execute, but these contestants have had to
really work to eat and live in a harsh environment and its blurred the
tribal lines.

I wonder why CBS has chosen not to let us know more about the personal
lives of the players--last season, there was that whole reward challenge
about getting a video from home, and a letter...we know so little about
this year's cast--Tina and Keith are both parents (had to read the CBS bios
on the website to find THAT out), we never hear about their kids, etc.
What's up with that?

Anyway, Keith is whistling a happy tune, but Elisabeth and the others would
gladly put up with Evil jerri's mojo if she'd whip up some kick ass
tortillas for them to grub on. Even the Outback Turtles are tormenting the
Bear Monday's, eating their bait and taking the precious fish hooks with
them--perhaps they were friends of Michael's pig. I just wanted to give
Liz a hug the whole episode, she was breaking my heart, poor kid.

Amber misses jerri, and is upset that the others didn't trust her enough to
clue her in--notice she DOESN'T complain about the decision per se. Keith,
dizzy with power, declares that Amber made a tactical error by being
friends with Jerri and becoming so identified with her. "I'm sure she
feels vulnerable because MY powerful alliance can destroy her, but she
should have thought of THAT before she voted against me in week 4. She's a
big girl, she made her bed..." Uh, say Keith--you still NEED Amber in
order to survive, be nice. I'd love to see Amber go further than Keith, he
really bugs the crap out of me. He is so danged *sure* of his place in the
final four, I'd love to see him take a fall. Now that Jerri's gone, he's
my least favorite.

Colby shrugs off the food issue, confident that his mental discipline can
overcome physical hardship. If he had a mirror in which to view his ribs
sticking out of his back, he might change his tune. He practically scoffs
at the others' whining about food with yet another Colby special: "if if's
and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas." Did Colby
sneak a dictionary of platitudes under that flag of his? Colby has all the
qualities--good and bad--of being a high school track coach. We should
start a pool on which one he'll pull out next. Will it be "Winners never
Quit and quitters never win"? or "When the going gets tough, the tough get
going"?

Keith and Colby try to catch grasshoppers to use as fishing bait. Anyone
else wonder why they didn't use the net to try and fish or am I being
naive? Keith runs around like an idiot, boasting about his hunting prowess
"Colby may be able to ride a bull, or a bronco, fix cars, dazzle the ladies
with his blinding smile, do more push ups that me, but...er...uh...boy, I
kick his ass when it comes to catching grasshoppers!" I think Keith needs
some Daily Affirmation. Keith: you're good enough, you're smart enough,
you own your own restaurant, you've got a nice build, you seem fairly
witty, in your own way (when you aren't trying too hard) and people (not
me, but other people) like you--chill the hell out. Colby strolls around
waiting for the grasshoppers to jump into his hand, apparently. He is
amused by Keith's mastery over the hopper hunt, pretending not to care by
making "Kung Fu" jokes and laughs off Keith's abilities as though it
doesn't matter to him that Keith could actually be better at something than
the Colbster, but you know it does. The grasshopper segment is a sad
little display of male vanity by both men.

Amber and Liz fetch the mail--anyone catch a Petticoat Junction vibe with
that music? The reward challenge is a food auction, and everyone wins
something--and they get to pay for it using funny foreign money. The first
item is some Doritos and salsa. OKAY, Doritos RULE, we fricking GET IT!!!
Liz and Tina team up to win a turkey dinner away from Keith (the potatoes
probably weren't ripe enough anyway, Keith) while Amber has mixed results.
She wins fries with dressing--you just KNEW she was one of those ranch
dressing girls--no offense ;) but is suckered into blowing a wad of cash on
a glass of water behind door number three. Keith and Colby high five over
this, saying "we knew it was a set-up!!" So...why did you bid on it Keith?

The blessed food takes it's revenge on the internal workings of the
castaways, who all get sick, except for Amber and Colby it would seem. We
are then treated to Nick and Rodger's discussions about...things we
shouldn't be subjected to, really. This episode is the nadir, I hope. I
mean, after Jerri's being vanquished, it was bound to be a letdown, but,
weak people moaning in agony over how hungry they are and now a whole
segment about...washing excrement off of one's butt...It's America's Night
on CBS!

If you want to meet the winner of Survivor, I'd comb the want-ads for an ad
that says "Ugly yellow Pontiac Aztec--never used. $20,000 obo. Won in
game show, along with enough money to buy a car that ISN'T stupid-looking."

The rain has taken its toll on the camp, and the water keeps rising,
threatening the camp. This is Jerri's last revenge--Rodger and others had
considered this possibility and suggested camping higher up, away from the
water. But Jerri got her way, and now they are in trouble. Nick notes:
"For me, personally, not eating is really bad. I'm not sure what to do
about it really. Everyone else is at the river with these strings in the
water...not sure what that is about. I'm sick, tired, and I'm gonna be
next to be voted off if I don't get immunity because I'm such a threat to
everyone in the competitions." Yeah, and because you're a selfish lazy
turd, Nick. >:( Elisabeth confesses to the camera that she's disappointed
in her Kucha tribesman for lying around conserving energy while she and
Rodger suffer to provide fish (Liz caught a fish--go girl!). "Golly, I
hate to say anything mean but...if Nick wins immunity by being a no-account
slacker, then either Rodger or I get voted out even though we are the only
ones really fishing... that seems kind of unfair but...maybe that's the
kind of immoral behavior it takes to win Survivor, if last season is any
indication."

SO, time for immunity challenge. I was rooting for ANYONE but Nick at this
point, because Liz was right, and if anyone in kucha was gonna go tonight
it damned well better be NoGoodNick. The challenge requires the players to
build a fire in a bucket. Once that's going, they fill a bucket on the
other side of a see saw to try and raise the fire up to a firework thing.
Of course, the bucket has a hole in it so it requires lots of running.
Anyone else get "Rich builds the fire and wins immunity" flashbacks
*shudder*? Nick finishes his fire first. Colby takes to longest. BY FAR.
Everyone's way ahead of him and he just keeps tending that fire. "Slow
and steady wins the race," he cackles to himself. Keith grabs his water
bucket to CLEARLY give it a little help up to the firework. Jeff chastises
him and Keith says, "Uh, er, just checking the balance!" Uh....WHY????
Dang cheater. "DON'T!" Jeff says firmly--and it won't be the last time he
has to play stern parent to the cast this episode, either. Then when
Keith's fire raises up fair and square, he throws his pail in the air in
victory--but it's a premature celebration and he has to scramble to reclaim
it and fetch more water. His arrogance costs him the game--Colby is able
to surpass him--he built his fire high and hot so that it required less
water to get it up to the firework. He's ecstatic, Keith sulks. Cheer-up
Keith, you're still master of the Grasshopper domain, provided you don't
let them out of your pocket when you're boasting to the camera about how
good you are at catching them...

Back at camp, everyone is still starving to death. Nurse Tina frets over
the especially noble, fragile Liz, who sobs when she realizes she's too
weak to help feed her tribe. Nick suggest she just chill by the fire with
him. I thought they should try and catch one of those turtles to eat, with
their net. You can eat turtles, right? Jeff shows up with rice--and a
stern lecture. They were given enough food, but didn't ration properly.
When Tina explains that each tribe lost a bag by not storing it properly,
someone--I couldn't tell if it was Jeff or Colby--snaps at her "COME On!"
Like she was making excuses, which I didn't think she was. Whoever it was,
back off, she was explaining what happened, OK? I think Mark Burnett or
whoever was partly to blame for all this misery--when they merged into one
tribe they were told to leave their boats behind--which I think could have
helped them fish away from the dreaded turtles. Following in the "Let's
make a Deal" vein established with Amber's being duped into trading cash
for the mystery box, Jeff offers them four big bags o' rice in exchange for
THEIR SOULS!!! Actually, he asks for their tarps and Colby's big Texas
flag. Everyone seems open to the trade. Liz, fast becoming Survivor's
answer to Tiny Tim whispers brokenly, "if we could eat...we
could...build...does anyone else see the angels? What a beautiful
song...yes, I'll come with you...into the light...must go into....the
light..."

I think CBS just needed Colby's flag for an episode of "Walker:Texas
Ranger" but was too cheap to get one, so they created this whole elaborate
trade as a rouse. Colby warns Jeff to take care of it--I'll bet it's still
hanging in Les Moonves's office until he sells it on ebay: "SURVIVOR PROP!
COLBY's TEXAS FLAG. This flag was Cowboy Colby's luxury item. Comes with
8x10 of the Survivor2 cast. Please see my other auctions for other
television memorabilia and promotional items!" Seller Name:bigguyattheeye1
They should have made everyone else lose their luxury items: losing Tina's
backgammon set would have been BRUTAL! Amber brought a journal and a
pen--I smell a book deal.

So, they accept the offer, but must now rebuild. Everyone pitches in for
the barnraising, except Nick who is to busy hammering the nails into his
coffin to help build the new shelter--which they inexplicably build on the
site of their old structure--which is very near the rising waters.
Which...they were worried about earlier. They should have eaten the rice
first, poor confused little survivors. :(

Now, it's time for tribal council. Amber's feeling nervous. Keith and
Colby whisper about her in front of her to make sure she's really
nervous--even though they still need her on their side. Amber contemplates
switching to Kucha but realizes she has no real standing with them either.
The fact that Jerri's ouster wasn't the "smart" move is clear, and
everyone's at risk if Amber throws in with Rodger and Liz. Colby is
concerned with Amber's growing closeness to Elisabeth--as she ominously
helps Liz carry a bucket of water to the camp. I think Colby's missing the
bigger picture here--Tina's friends with EVERYBODY. Once Kucha's gone,
Tina is almost invincible. Look for her to avoid getting picked off by
Colby and Keith by getting Amber on her side--a tie will go in Tina's favor
against either guy, she has no votes yet. :)

At the council, Jeff asks if everyone's pulling their weight, but Colby and
Rodger fib and say everyone's doing their share--why antagonize a future
juror, right? Jeff asks how Amber's feeling and she claims she's become a
"riskier person" in the outback--anyone catch the "Oh sh*#" looks that
Colby and Tina gave, thinking they may have lost her to Kucha? Terrific.
However, Amber votes the party line, ousting Nick. Amber picks up her
first two votes from Liz and Rodger, who hoped for another Ogakor sell-out.
Nick votes for Keith, based on his arrogant decision not to bring his
backpack to the council meeting, so sure he wouldn't be leaving that night
(maybe he just didn't feel like carrying anything, Nick, you can relate to
THAT , right?.) Tina and Colby were equally sure they'd be going back to
camp, but showed some damn class, Keith. So three people got votes this
time--common first season, but rare this go around. The tribes were in
agreement this season, last season, votes all over the place.

There once was a law student, Nick
He was hungry and lazy and sick
It wasn't a shock
when out ran his clock
and out of the tribe he got kicked

Now we have six players left. The alliance should hold, with Rodger and
Liz getting the boot (barring immunity, fight for that immunity guys!).
But, three votes can deliver a tie--meaning if ANY rogue member of the weak
alliance sides with Liz and Rodger, a tie can be achieved. This mini
alliance of Rodger (no votes), Liz (2 votes) and OgakorX (?votes, but not
the target of Ogakor voting block) could eliminate Keith (4 votes) or Colby
(5 votes) in the tiebreaker. BUT this PROBABLY won't happen--why??
Because Liz and Rodger are so damned likable. No one in Ogakor benefits by
their sticking around, in my opinion. Next week, EXPECT Liz to go, barring
immunity, unless something BIZARRE happens.

Random trivia: Nick is voted out at the same point in the game as fellow
man of color Gervase was last season--imagine the continued symmetry if
lovable Liz bites the bullet next week--just like Colleen did in week 11
last go around.

Previous votes matter--sometimes. Rich won the vote for the million
despite garnering several votes along the way. Kelly lost the popularity
contest despite never having a vote cast against her in any tribal council.
Go figure.

Did you know Reno, Nevada is further West than Los Angeles? Check a map,
its true.

Next couple weeks I'll be visiting family and using strange computers to
pen and ship the review--expect delays. Christine :)

X-Files 8.15 "deadalive" As good as can be expected?

I was not thrilled with this installment, but it had some great moments,
and...it might be as good as it gets from here on out. The fact that
Mulder is decomposing, yet still alive, is actually a pretty damned good
metaphor for the show, if you ask me. It's dying and often stinky,
yet...it's still on. I'm going to go into more detail than usual for those
of you who aren't watching but still reading--I don't want to lose your
viewership ;)

We begin with Mulder's funeral in Raleigh, North Carolina. You may recall
that I was confused early on in the season when we learned that this is
where Mulder's family is buried--I'm still confused. All previous Mulder
backstory has been centered around Massachusetts and Rhode Island,
but...whatever. Maybe his Dad's the New Englander, but his Mom was from
NC.

Note on the headstone (shared with his parents and sister) that Samantha's
"death date" is listed as 1979. That is referring to last years (I thought
disappointing) revelation that Samantha died in California years after her
abduction, having been raised by the Spenders. I hope there will be more
to all that eventually, but I will always disagree with Mulder's calm
acceptance of that story. Anyway, Sam's birth year is listed here as
1965--consistent with the Season 3 change of her birthyear--early in season
one, she born in Jan 64, just a month before Scully. Mulder's birth and
death years are obscured, for whatever reason.

They probably STILL don't want to nail down when this is all taking place,
but, those of you who argued with me all year that the season was taking
place over a much more compressed period of time than I'd been assuming
were proved right. After the funeral teaser, the episode is said to take
place three months later, and Scully is finally showing. By the snow, and
the May abduction, what are we thinking here, December 2000? It would have
made so much since if they had just told us that, but I think they really
relied on viewer confusion to double as suspense.

Scully tells Skinner that Mulder was the last of his family (which
means...she's NOT carrying his child? Huh?) and that he died before he
really learned the truth he was trying to find...yet, he did find his
sister (he claimed)...shallow but true, Scully had really cool funeral
hair.

I think my biggest problem with the show is that they tied up all the wrong
loose ends. Samantha should still be missing and the conspiracy should
still be in place--all those creepy guys smoking in dark rooms. It was
stupid to gut the mythology arc like that--it took away a lot of the
suspense and motivation (for M and now S to stick around on the X-Files).

The lone gunmen are at the funeral, looking sad. Has anyone gotten in to
their new show? I just couldn't do it. I mean, there's a reason "Newhart"
never spun off Larry and Darryl and Darryl, you know? There are some
characters that only work in contrast with others. Mrs. Scully makes her
first appearance since CHRISTMAS 1997 (!!!!!) and says....nothing. Nada.
She just stands there looking sad. Grrr. Mulder had a Christian burial,
which is interesting, and...not really justified, in my opinion. Carter
does it here so that the minister's reading of the Bible "whosoever
believes in me shall not die.." will foreshadow Absolom's use of the same
Scripture to back his claims of Messiahdom with Dogg later on in the
episode. Mulder's reaction to anything Christian has usually been pretty
negative. Of course, mulder probably converted to Christianity off-camera,
as he wrestled with his imminent death--why would he tell Scully about
either?

Is anyone else disturbed by the fact that Ray Liotta is playing Johnny
Depp's father in a movie? How can that be? I can only hope that Liotta
ages in the film from younger dad to older dad to explain why this is
happening. I doubt Liotta is even ten years older than Depp.

THREE MONTHS LATER: Dogg gets props from Kirsch for finding Mulder (it
took three months?) and Kirsch tells Dogg he's gonna be out of the X-Files
and back on the fast track in no time. Skinner sits there sulking--what's
with Skinner this year? Carter and Spotnitz seem determined to castrate
Skinner, and I'm unclear on the why. Kirsch is displeased when Dogg seems
reluctant to leave the X-Files (why?) Dogg goes down to the XiFiles
basement where Scully (now finally visibly pregnant) is filing files.
She's going on maternity leave in six weeks. Scully seems tired. Dogg
tells her about the promotion rumors, and that he doesn't want to leave the
X-Files. He still wants to know what happened to Mulder and doesn't feel
that's been answered. Scully is amused--get out while you can, she
advises. She tells him she made the same vow to stick it out in the
basement seven years ago. I just don't buy Scully--especially pregnant
Scully--being caretaker of the X-Files at this point. I think she'd move
on. In fact, I still don't get why Kirsch keeps the X-Files open at all,
if he hates them so much. My HOPE here is that "higher-ups," such as a
not-so-dead cancerman (he can't actually be dead, c'mon) are still using
the X-Files to as a place to monitor Scully the way they did with her and
Mulder in the past.

Billy Miles' bloated body turns up in the ocean. Carter and Sponitz insert
a joke here about how (hee hee) his penis would be enlarged as well. It's
the opposite of funny. Miles starts talking, even though he's bloated and
very dead, it would seem. It's pretty gross. When Skinner gets wind of
Billy's situation, he concludes that Mulder could also be alive yet dead,
and has his body exhumed. He brings Dogg (why?) and Dogg argues the whole
time. He keeps reminding Skinner that this could just hurt the still
fragile Scully. Why they have Dogg telling Skinner about Scully's
emotional sate, I don't know. Skinner's just getting the shaft here.
Also, we still haven't seen any scenes between Scully and Dogg to explain
the depth of his concern for Scully. He's a decent guy, it would seem, but
they are still (stupidly) calling each other "Agent" instead of Dana and
John. One scene, his opening up to her about his kid, her talikng about
her childhood in the military--would go along way with me. As it is, they
still seem like polite strangers to me. Yet it's Dogg here, telling
Skinner how BEST to look after Scully.

When they open the coffin, wasn't it lame to have Dogg lean in just before
they cracked it open to say "for the record, I still think this is
insanity."?? Like...we forgot he didn't believe in any of this? Or
Skinner would? Of course, Mulder is decomposing...but yet, still alive,
sort of. At the hospital, Scully shows up, desperate to see Mulder. She
does the trembly lip crying thing she does so well, and Dogg lets her see
Mulder despite his better judgment. Scully collapses on Mulder's
chest--which...if his flesh was actually decomposing...I won't go there.
Let's pretend its NOT gross.

Kirsch summons Dogg and tells him to drop the case. He also says he's been
director for 6 months, which means it's November or December 2000. Dogg
doesn't want to drop the case. Asking Dogg to NOT investigate a case where
an FBI agent has been buried alive for THREE MONTHS is a bit too overtly
suspicious, even for Kirsch, no?

Scully visits gross bloated Billy and he has a seizure. when she looks at
his equipment, she thinks she see two heartbeats, and reports it to the
nurse and a malfunction. Later, she postulates that this was when an
alien life form sprang to life in Billy ...or something. None of that
makes sense to me. Anyway, the nurse is peeved to find Scully in the room,
and Scully tells her she's a doctor. it cracks me up that Scully uses the
"I'm a doctor" excuse to justify her doing anything or being anywhere
involving sick people and disease and it always works. Liked when Scully
got emotional and had to leave. Gillian is back in great acting form,
following last months terrible outing. I think she should submit this one.

Skinner collapses in the hall of the FBI Headquarters, but tells everyone
he's fine and they shuffle off. Krycek appears--yay! Krycek is such a
great villain. I hope he dies a violent death in the last episode, but
until then, I'm glad when he pops up. Ratboy is back to remind Skinner
about the fact that he can kill Skinner with the flick of a switch (can't
remember if that happened last year or the year before). Skinner tells him
to go to hell, but, after another death-blast, quickly recants and wonders,
hypothetically, what he might have to do to get Krycek to stop torturing
him. Krycek says he wants Skinner to help him save Mulder. He claims
Mulder has an alien disease and he has the cure--developed in part by
Mulders dead dad. Skinner thinks Mulder is beyond help. Note: Dana won't
call Doggett "John" but Skinner calls Krycek "Alex." Why? Because calling
someone by their first name, in this country anyway, is both normal and
meaningless and not a sign of some deep relationship.

Bloated Billy wakes up and showers, all the bloated skin and a bunch of
blood comes off in the shower (in a truly disgusting scene) to reveal good
ol' Billy underneath. Scully keeps vigil at Mulder's side, and Dogg shows
up, worried about her. She tells him she has come to appreciate him as a
partner and as a person--you're a good man, agent dog! BUT, then she laces
into him for not agreeing with Skinner about digging up Mulder, which is an
odd thing to get upset about. I mean, its a good thing Skinner was right,
but, since Dogg was in no position to talk his boss out of digging up
Mulder...what harm was done? Why would Scully still care at this point,
with Mulder alive (sort of). They are distracted when they encounter a
naked and confused Billy Miles walking around the hospital (Billy
miraculously comes out of a coma in the Pilot episode, if you recall.
Rising from the dead is old hat for Billy Miles). He feels fine, but has
no strong memories of his experience. Scully coaxes him to admit he
remembers being on a spaceship, which pisses off Dogg. Billy tells them
that the aliens are here to save us, and Dogg mutters "Well, that's good
news."

In the hallway, Scully can't understand why Dogg won't accept that aliens
are clearly behind all this (despite the face that it is NOT clear, and she
was just as reluctant to believe such things--in the face of much stronger
evidence--for eight years). Dogg wonders why the hell its so important for
her that he believe in this UFO crap anyway--hey, good question! She says
"I thought you were just merely resistant to paranormal stuff, turns out
you're...(wait for it) BULLHEADED!" Like, its some major accusation or
revelation into Dogg's character. Really, the dialogue continues to be
very lacking. Later, with Skinner, Scully fears that Billy's recovery is
too good to be true. She speculates, vaguely, that Billy is not actually
Billy, but an alien in his body (or a clone of his body??) and they must
stop it from happening to Mulder. Skinner fesses up about the vaccine that
Krycek claims to have for the alien virus Mulder may have, but warns her
that the price may be too high.

Dogg goes to see Absolom, the weird guy that was helping Smith heal the
abductees in the last episode. Absolom implies he is Christ and insists
Dogg believe in him. Dogg is unimpressed.

Skinner goes to visit Mulder and finds ratboy lurking. Krycek tells him
that he will save Mulder if Skinner makes sure that Scully's maybe doesn't
make it to term. Skinner is horrified and insists he won't be party to any
such plan. It remains to be seen why Krycek needs Skinner's help on this,
since we learned earlier this year that there isn't an OB-GYN in the
country, nay the World, that isn't involved in the alien conspiracy. For
that matter, why doesn't Alex just kill Scully? Perhaps this will be
addressed in later episodes--maybe Scully is still important to
someone--remember how cancerman took a shine to Dana on their very weird
"date."? Perhaps Krycek is just a sick little bastard yanking on Skinner's
chain because he can. Does this mean the baby is alien? Or some sort of
hybrid? Or somehow resistant to the virus? Or is it the fact that its
Mulder's baby (maybe??)? Is Mulder some sort of hybrid? Has he always
been an alien or hybrid or something? I have no answers guys, sorry. But,
at least I find myself curious about the answers in this one. I'm back to
caring, though not as deeply as I once did.

Dogg passes Krycek in the hall and gets a bad vibe off of him. He realizes
this man (stranger to him) was in Mulder's room talking to Skinner and is
suspicious. He runs into to Scully who tells him about the alien virus
theory. He tells her that Absolom told her that the abductions were all
part of an alien invasion plot--they are replacing people with pod people (
I think). Dogg goes to Mulder's room to see about the virus theory from
Skinner, to find that Skinner has disconnected Mulder from life support.
Skinner tells Dogg that Krycek wants Scully's baby dead for the vaccine,
and he won't let that happen, no matter what.

Dogg runs after Krycek and tries to wrestle him out of his car as they race
around at high speeds--I thought it was a pretty cool action scene. Dogg
gets his face smashed up a bit when Krycek shakes him off the speeding car.
He comes back to taunt the injured Dogg by breaking the vaccine in front
of him (like, that's really all there is, riiiight.) Dogg goes back to the
hospital to find out that Mulder's in OR. Skinner's bummed to find Dogg
has failed to regain the vaccine, but Dogg tells him he was right not to
trust slimy Krycek. Scully has scrubbed in to observe Mulder's surgery
(of...what?) because, she's a doctor and thus can scrub into any procedure
anywhere. Considering she believes Mulder has an alien virus that they
know NOTHING about, it seems odd that the other doctors aren't in hazmat
suits or something--and odder that Scully would stand there exposing her
unborn child to it. I hate to say it, but at least half of Scully's
"difficult pregnancy" is her own damn fault. She tells Dogg that they had
been unwittingly helping the virus incubate by having Mulder on life
support--turns out Skinner helped Mulder by taking him off of it. Scully
puts on a brave face for Dogg and tells him everything's going to be cool.

Kirsch, full of contempt, tells Dogg he's back on the X-Files. Now...if
Kersh wants to punish Dogg, and he doesn't want him investigating Mulder's
case, or X-Files in general, why not just transfer him to some podunk field
office in Montana or something? Why put him back where DOGG said he wanted
to remain in the first place?

OK, call me a sucker, but the last scene got me all emotional. Mulder woke
up to see Scully there. She got all joyful and said "Hi." and he said "Who
are you?" Which, was a pretty effective April Fool's joke, I gotta admit,
Carter. Ya got me. Scully gets scared and them Mulder smiles--he's
kidding. And, it's so like Mulder to wake up having been tortured by
aliens and in a virus coma in a coffin for three months and make a bad
joke, it really is. They are both thrilled to be the others company once
again, and its so great to have them back together, since the show is about
THEM. MULDER and SCULLY. Together. Dogg walks in, realizes he's
interrupting, and skulks out. Scully sees him, Mulder doesn't. David is
supposedly bck for the rest of the year. I really really hope this is the
end, but fear we will be spending the next seven episodes watching Mulder
and Scully "pass the torch" to Moonbeam and Dogg (shudder).

So, I'm intrigued, but I'm too gun shy to believe its gonna pay off in a
way I like. We'll see. Scenes for next week show lots of friction between
Mulder and Dogg and Skinner and Dogg. I hope they don't go overboard
making Dogg a "victim" that has to prove himself...AGAIN.

We shall see. I hope you all have a good week.
Baseball season starts tomorrow, go A's! They have a good shot this year,
I think. I realize the Rangers will be tough, with A-Rod and all. I am
making a vow to go to more games this year, even if it is to see the
hard-to-get-excited-about Dodgers--its such a pretty stadium, at any rate.
Christine :D