X-Files 8.10 "Badlaa" Not half bad...dare I say good? Not a joke!

I know, I know, I don't quite believe it either, but I thought X-Files was
pretty good. In the words of Scully, "I appreciate your resistance."

Let me start with a remark about last week's terrible episode: My
co-worker Laura pointed out a glaring problem with last week's episode,
that I failed to notice as I sifted through the minutiae of the show: Why
the heck were Scully and Dogg investigating that case in the first place?
All it is is a car accident: an abandoned car with some serious damage to
the front of the car and yes, blood--but no body. No missing person
really, at that point. Scully finds the show prints and our X-File is
afoot--but, without the show prints...there's no reason they'd be called in
on this at all. Feel free to cut and paste this into the other review ;)

But, onward and, surprisingly, upward. The main problems still exist:
Scully's either 7 months pregnant and not showing, or they're still messing
with our heads and she's lost the baby and its none of our business. Why
why why's all around on everything still in place. (Why is Scully in the
FBI? etc.)

But this episode did scare the pants off me, and that hasn't happened in a
good long while--the squeeeeeeeek of the wheels? The freaky intensity?
Scary.

I don't get all of it--it doesn't all add up--what were his motivations for
killing these SPECIFIC people? He crawls into people's bodies and controls
them...how? If he, uh, cuts his way out, how does he get in
without...noticeable damage? Or does he will his way in and then tear his
way out? I'm not afraid to ask the gross questions.

I don't understand how a somber mute man gets hired based on his
"enthusiasm."

Liked Scully and Dogg's interplay throughout the episode--the way he
watched her at the first crime scene, intensely interested in what she's
going to come up with.

Autopsy Scully, yay! There's something so fundamental about how at peace
Scully can be telling someone else about her slicin and dicing. So SCULLY.

We see a lot more hesitation from Scully in this one--we see her wincing
with pain as she wedges her foot in the door to her open mind. She's a
little less Yoda about everything...

They still haven't solved the problem that she does make these leaps--even
if they're reluctant ones, it implies that she always could, she was just
unwilling--they need to make her stronger. Having her "play Mulder" just
makes her seem like the loser. She's beaten, defeated--"Uncle! I believe,
forget all that silly science stuff I based my life on!" If Scully was
just as strong as she's been in previous years the show would be so much
better--how are the ratings, anyone know?

BYOS: Bring your own subtext to the scene where Dogg watches Scully
interview the young boy abort his father's death--is he keeping his
distance because he's thinking about his own son? Probably not, but it'll
help you like him if you pretend...

We learn the first time Dogg saw a dead body was when he was "19 and in the
Marines..."

They work the case together! Yay! Woooo!

Scully, truly emulating Mulder, ditches Dogg so she can get herself in a
jam, and so that he WON'T be there to SEE the little guy come out of the
dead guy. Sigh, just like old times.

Yet another visit from Chuck, the expert on photography and weird mysticism
that Mulder consults a lot--sense 2nd season, I think. I assume all his
comments about Indian religious beliefs are bogus, since his insights into
Christianity always are. Liked how uncomfortable he was with Scully
listening to him and (almost) defending him when Dogg got all mocky. He's
having the reaction we've had all year: "Weren't you the one...but...did't
you used to...uh, nevermind." Later, when she calls him down to her office
and confides how difficult it is for her to think like Mulder, but she's
trying so hard, etc.--he's uncomfortable...and perhaps a bit smitten? Of
course he is.

All the murders were truly terrifying. the stakes were high, our agents
cared deeply, I was freaked out. good, good, good.

Oh wonderful, "Dolluhs to DOH-nuts" is Doggs catchphrase.

Loved the argument Dana and Dogg have by the pool--Dogg's had it, and loved
Scully's "are you questioning my integrity?' They aren't partners yet, and
it shows. BUT, this shouldn't have been episode 10. this should have
happened much earlier--third or fourth. Now Dogg seems kinda chumpy for
NOT yelling at Dana like she's a lunatic over the last few months, and Dana
seems kinda like a liar for acting like she believes all this stuff when
maybe she's not sure. But, at least we finally have some meaningful
exchange between the two.

Isn't it interesting that we DON'T sympathize with Dogg? That's your big
failing this year. Think about it: In most episodes of the X-Files,
Mulder's right and Scully doesn't believe it--not really, not enough to go
on record, not enough to apply what she's seen to other case etc. Yet, I
loved her. She frustrated the hell out of me, but I loved her. Dogg
hasn't managed to engender any of that good will, and that's a problem. I
want to like him, but they aren't giving me anything to go on. A bad
accent and a picture of a little kid? You have to do better than that
X-Files.

The end was great--Scully reaction to the shooting, and her breakdown, with
Dogg telling her not to be so hard on herself--it was nice, human stuff.
The coda made no real sense, but I'll let that slide.

A flawed outing, to be sure, but a GIANT leap in the right direction and I
give props to (drumroll) John Shiban. Yes, he's erratic (co-wrote most of
Scully's cancer arc, but also "teso dos bichos, the killer kitties ep.)
But he dates back to season three and he obviously knows Scully and cares
about her. As for the director, it was another guy I never heard of--was
there a "Direct an episode of the X-Files contest" that no one told me
about? Re-run next week, but scenes for "February" included a shot of
Momma Scully (oh yeah!) and Scully waking up from a nightmare of delivering
a gross alien baby--like Scully didn't watch "V" with the rest of us back
in the 80's? So..does that mean she's pregnant???? I guess?!?!?!?

Some Golden Globe commentary. If we're going to give awards out to movies
that looked cool and we liked them even though they lacked any real
substance, than my Golden Globe for best picture goes to "Charlie's
Angels." Gladiator is just Braveheart five years later and not nearly as
good.

Someone tell Dick Clark to get over himself.

Someone tell Lara Flynn Boyle to eat something.

Enjoy the Super Bowl. Go Giants! Not even an issue for me once Ravens
coach Brian Billick opened his mouth. UGH. Insufferable!
To spice up your game enjoyment, keep track of commentator stats: 1) How
many times will Phil Simms mention his own Super Bowl experience? and 2)
How many times will Greg Gumbel correct Simms' grammar.?

Have a great week and SUPER weekend :)

X-files 8.9 "Salvage" Is this the episode with Sarah Connor?

For those who are no longer watching. Congratulations.

basic story. A guy who supposedly died has actually been turning into
metal, due to accidental exposure of some bizarre engineered "living" alloy
thing. He's pretty hacked off at being mutant-zed, so he goes around
killing everyone he feels was responsible, even though it was really
nobody's fault. He is about to kill his last victim but the man's little
boy cries out for his dad and metalman's last fragment of humanity
apparently stops him from killing the guy. He goes down to the salvage
yard, where he used to work and where he was exposed and has himself turned
into a dead metal cube. [insert loud distracting "emotional" musical score
here]

What you missed regarding Dana Scully, her (dead?) baby, her relationship
with Mulder or Doggett, Doggett's past, Scully's past, Scully's insight,
personality, human nature? NOTHING. ZIP.

The whole episode exists so that Dog, played by Robert Patrick the "liquid
metal shapeshifter bounty hunter" from "Terminator 2" can say, when Scully
suggests a man may be turning into a metal guy can say "that kind of stuff
only happens in the movies!" Ho ho ho. yuk yuk. Somebody make it STOP!

This weak, meaningless outing, while not icky and dreadful, was still bad
and I wonder if I'll ever have something truly good to say about the show
ever again. X-files has become what we always feared it would, Jim. A
show that you watch and say "Remember when this was great?"

Writer is Jeffrey Bell. Bell has penned four other shows: The OK "rain
King" where Mulder and Scully play cupid while investigating a guy who can
apparently control the weather. I seem to recall liking that one--it was
sweet, and Scully was surly. He also wrote the lame "lots and lots of
snakes" one and the HORRIBLE "alpha" with the super smart killer dogs.
BUT, he also wrote "The goldberg Variations" which was that great episode
about luck where the guy builds all those contraptions? He has great good
luck but for it to pay out, something really bad happens to someone else?
Excellent episode, so Jeff's moving in the wrong direction with this mess.

Some notes.

How many times have we seen "gulf war syndrome" as a red herring for an
X-File? TOO MANY TIMES.

The initial effect of the guy standing in front of the car and splitting in
half was cool, the head on shot, but the side view looked fake and lame to
me.

Scully sucks at being coy, and her whole "I don't know, is it?" stuff is
wearing thin. So's Doggett's "I hope your now suggesting..." Outrage at
Scully's IMPLYING and X-file, unlike Mulder's ASSERTIONS She's so
half-assed about it, and if that's their way of maintaining her scientific
integrity, it ain't working. "I don't know...am I?" UGH! Shut up Scully!

The promos we see all week are giving us to much info, especially as the
current writers are only capable of one theory. All week we hear " a man
is turning into metal." We tune in...."Yup. A man is turning into metal."

The poor nosy halfway house worker who gets killed in the end is played by
Y&R and GH actress Tamara Clatterbuck.

Why did metal man kill his buddy and his boss? Did they really do
anything wrong? As usual this season, we spend way to much time expected
to sympathize with the killer mutant, and very little with Dana and
Dog--who at least were working the case together but...no real
conversations about each other. Dog's still a nobody. Scully is
regressing into a stranger.

because Dog remains nobody to us, who cares? Who cares about his struggle
to figure it out and accept and "think outside the box" and whatever? Does
anyone care if Dog can't believe?

Like last week, Scully gives Dog an out by saying "eh, who cares how he's
killing., let's focus on the why. Screw the X-file, let's catch him."
Then Dog seemingly accepts it with no fanfare--let's get the metal guy.

Scully's "skeptic" is Scully impersonating Mulder. Nothing she says has
any truth to it. She's not speaking from her heart. These aren't her
convictions. IT'S NOT WORKING.

Dog's terrible fake NY accent is worse then evuh. It's no long-uh
toleruhbuhl. He's at Cham-buh technologies. Dolluhs to donuts, dey make
dehm smaht meduls heh. SHUT UP DOG.

Liked how, when they try to trap metal man, and they want the army guys to
open the vault, Dog yells "open it up!" The guy looks all nervous and
hesitant until Scully yells with authority, "GET IT OPEN!" They listen to
Scully. Damn straight.

Watching X-files is becoming like a film school screening, you know? that
overwrought bit at the end with the kid yelling for his dad and the
mutant...remembering who he was and stopping? And then the horrible Dana
DOg coda with them wondering what stopped him/ perhaps he really DID have
some humanity in him, like Darth Vader at the end of Jedi. Everything has
that film school feel of the makers thinking it's a lot more
clever/important/funny/good than it really actually is.

Tune in next week....or...let me do it for you. I'll actually probably
watch the Golden Globes and watch X-Files on Monday. Like you'll even
care.

Ten years ago: A new movie's about to come out about a serial killer named
Hannibal Lecter. We have a President Bush. In Football, in the AFC
Conference game, the Raiders only manage to score 3 points, while the
underdog New York Giants defeat an offensive powerhouse expected to go all
the way (sniff). Weird. Can another Gulf War be far away?

Wow, I couldn't have been more wrong about the games, could I? What's with
those Vikes, eh? Yes they need a defense but at the very least I expected
a shoot out. They can't seem to win the big ones--wonder if ol Red is
regretting that extension he just gave Dennis Green. I was bummed, but the
Giants were impressive.

Ten years ago I sat in a cold dark kitchen in London, Engalnd at 11:30 at
night watching my beloved Niners fumble away the title game and a chance at
an unprecedented third straight Superbowl crown. Rooting for New York will
be tough but I hope they beat Baltimore. I was really pulling for the
Raiders to win, but, if anyone should see what it feels like to be bullied
by a bunch of thugs it should be the Oakland Raiders. On the bright-side
for all those attending superbowl events on the east coast, with Ray Lewis
actually playing in the game this year, he won't have a chance to murder
anyone at your party. I'm picking the Giants, but obviously, don't take my
word on it. Christine :)

X-Files 8.8 "Surekill"

"I hate twins."

Yeah Dog? We don't like you either!

So, this episode was...X-Files meets Of Mice and Men meets Silk Stalkings.
Ugh. And TOTALLY BORING on top of being icky and pointless.

Hard to lose yourself in the "we're in Massachusetts" moment when they not
only use the NYPD Blue Precinct exterior but even one of those cops in the
station was a recurring "Blue" character. The gross exploding head falls
into the shock-instead-of-spook mentality of the show this season. It's
gross, but scary? there was no sense of terror or even creepiness except
for the sex part which was just unnecessary. I mean, they didn't show
anything, but I thought all the stuff with Tammy--how she's 'coerced" to
sleep with Chase and we see her about to have sex with Dwight in his office
and X-Ray specs is going to watch. Ick. And did anyone care? About any
of this?

The writing was courtesy of Greg Walker, who co-wrote the weak "Brand X"
last season, about the bugs that lived in the cigarettes? I thought this
script was utterly dreadful on all levels. First, the X-File. It was nice
to see our two leads working a case together, but their banter stiff falls
flat to me. Broken record time, but we've yet to see a scene between them
where they open up a little up their pasts. They are still, as far as we
know, complete strangers. Of course, the way Chris Carter's playing
things, they could be married by now--all off camera, none of our business.
Did Scully miscarry last week? Who's baby is/was it? Still not for us to
know. Carter is still trying to manufacture "suspense" by withholding
information and character development necessary for us to give a crap. By
this time in X-Files First season (which they should be trying to emulate)
mulder and Scully knew some details about one another's pasts and had
established an affection for the other. We also used to see them on the
way to the case, in the motel room, in diners, etc. We saw that they spent
A LOT of time together and that came across on-screen.

ANYWAY, we get one conversation, where Scully (in a nice Gillian scene)
sort of beats around the bush about her theory, "I'm not believing in
anything, don't get me wrong. just...throwing it out there, if our eyes
were made different...maybe we could see through walls..." I liked how
embarrassed she was. She looked great, too. And she remains VERY
UNPREGNANT LOOKING. But that's it, kids. The episode is designed so that,
after this exchange, the agents can solve the case without actually ever
finding out how he did it or even ever discussing it again. Who Cares,
right? Why bother having that conversation again. Instead of spending the
bulk of time with our leads, watching them figure out the X-file, the how
and why, change theories ( I remember when the writers on the show could
actually come up with more than one per show) we spend all our time with
the three guest actors who are all playing skanky losers.

Scully as believer doesn't work, they know it, so let's avoid it all
together? But then...why is this called "The X-Files"? I keep reading how
they think they have a NINTH season in them after this (they've even hired
another new cast member, Annabeth Gish) and ARE THEY NUTS!!??

Dog's on-again off-again New YAWK accent is really starting to bug "guess I
can't argue wi' dat."

The whole tone and look of this episode (director was Terrence O'Hara?
never heard of him) was very USA Network/Sci Fi Channel bad. The move to
LA was bad,bad, bad and I was one of the people who thought they could make
it work. But those who feared the show would suffer without all that moody
Vancouver gloom turned out to be right.

That damned piano music continues to overwhelm.

Dog calls Scully "agent." This is what drives me nuts. they gut the whole
emotional core of the show but they pay so much attention to the stupid
stuff. They don't want Dog calling her Scully cuz that's Mulder's name for
her and they've somehow decided his calling her Dana would imply something
too so he just calls her 'agent." Is it really that big a deal to call a
co-worker by THEIR NAME?

HORRIFYING DIALOGUE ALERT: Bad Guy One: "Chris Rock is funny. You're just
dead"

Bad Guy Two: "Cap his ass!"

Cuz, yo, that's how gangstas talk, know what I'm sayin?

IF Dwight is legally blind and can "only see shapes" and has to look at the
figures with a magnifying glass...how could he see that the light on the
answering machine from 12 feet away?

Did Dwight's being blind serve any purpose AT ALL? Not that I could see
(heh heh). I'm sure the writer thought there was something "cool" about
the one twin being almost blind while the other had Super sight. Was there
any point at all to the brothers being twins? Nope. unless we're supposed
to make the leap that the one brother got all the seeing genes or
something? Laaaaaame!

Is "Dark Angel" a guy thing? I tried to watch it the other night and that
girl is just...too bambi to a badass in my opinion.

liked Scully turning on the compassion for XRAY brother. She's the only
truly likable character on the show. ALL three guest stars were creeps and
Dog remains "Tough Cop #1" Again, I feel Carter and the writers are
mistaking chats around the craft service table with that great guy Robert
Patrick with scenes they've actually written for John Doggett. They like
him sooo much and they are totally clueless to the fact that they've given
us no reason too.

If Tostitos wanted to pick two quarterbacks to pitch chips and contests for
Superbowl 35, why choose four time loser Jim Kelly and three time loser (
and two time winner, yeah yeah) John Elway. I'm surprised they weren't
joined by Fran Tarkenton.

Scully to Dog "Who are you calling?" and they he reveals one of his Tough
New York cop tricks--hitting redial? Like she's never hit redial on a
phone to find out the last call that was placed by a victim or perp?
Puh-leeze!

Scully seemed kinda emotional at the end about XRAY brother being able to
"see something in [Tammy] that she couldn't see in herself." is she sad
because she lost Mulder's baby? Oh, sorry, I forgot. That's on a "need
to know basis,' and as a mere fan who's TRYING REALLY HARD TO STAY
INTERESTED IN THEIR STUPID TV SHOW, I don't rate. Crummy bastards!

Real life X-File: Middle aged men all over television (particular news and
sportscasters and soap opera actors) seem to be under the impression that
if they dye their hair RED instead of Black, we won't notice and they won't
look PATHETIC and VAIN. Go bald, Go gray, have some frickin dignity and be
men.

SUPERBOWL PREDICTION: I can't imagine the Ravens will have anything in
their tank by the time they get to THUNDERDOME, er, the Oakland coliseum
(they don't wave rally flags, they swing severed heads). And the Giants
looked pretty mediocre to me against Philly. I mean, their offense did
nothing and Philly handed them the game. I don't see the Vikings having as
much trouble--they have wide receivers and a running back (sorry Jim). So,
I predict The Oakland Raiders will beat the Minnesota Vikings in a
flashback to 1977. Have a great week! Christine :D