X-Files 8.16 "Three Words" Now that's more like it...

Hey, we're on the right track. I mean, don't look to hard, but overall,
at least we're getting somewhere with this invasion thing. That's cool.
Plus, the whole angle with the census bureau rules. That's when I love
the Conspiracy arc, when the seemingly mundane things about America are
turned into a sinister plot, like in the third season openers with the whole
plot to trace citizens via their smallpox vaccination scar. Now we are told
of a government plot to use census information to determine who among us
would make the best alien test subjects. That's cool.

What's not so cool is the fact that Mulder was dead for like, three
months, and no one's freaking. I mean, Scully's mom was there, you know? The
whole Bureau had to have been notified. How can there not be this huge
outcry? I mean is there a non-miraculous non-freaky plausible
explanation of how a human could lie in a coffin for three months?? And be alive??
Was an autopsy done--if so WHY THE HELL NOT?? If so, how exactly did he
survive that--did he miraculously heal? I mean, if there's some cover
story that they're feeding the masses, fine, but let us know Chris!

The episode begins with an X-Files take on an actual event, a man jumps
the fence at the White House and runs onto the grounds and shoots himself.
On the X-Files, this guy turns out to be an employee of the US Census
Bureau. He hands one of the secret service guys a disc that reads "Fight the
Future," a tagline from 1998's X-Files film, and reference to colonization.

Mulder has flashbacks to his horrifying torture at the hands of his
abductors (who was that again? If he remembers, has he told Scully about
this? Has he been debriefed by the govt.? Scully couldn't recall
anything about her abduction, which was less painful--we think.
Does that mean it was different aliens? Was Scully taken by the govt.
and Mulder by aliens??) Scully comes to him with startling info--
he's in perfect health and his scars are healing themselves.
The virus is gone, and the disease he was dying of
(last season, we weren't informed till this season) is
gone. Mulder is underwhelmed and kinda jokey, which confuses Scully. We
can't REALLY feel the happiness of this because we were told after the
fact that Mulder was sick. Who the hell cares that he's healed of a disease
we never really "believed" he had?

For my fellow members of the Mulder wardrobe patrol, most factions should
be happy: There was blue shirt Mulder, Brown leather jacket Mulder, Black
leather jacket Mulder and, MY personal favorite, soft T-shirt Mulder. I
think that black T-shirt is even better than my beloved gray. Sorry
Turtleneck Mulder fans, maybe next week ;)

Scully takes Mulder to his apartment and discovers its been cleaned
up--who paid Mulder's rent the six months he was missing? I mean,
Scully REALLY keeps the place as a shrine, paying his rent, keeping
all his stuff, the three months he's dead. DEAD. I mean, it's hard, but
when someone dies, the family and friends pack up the stuff. ANYWAY,
Mulder notices one of his fish has died, which I thought was sweet.
Scully gets all mushy on Fox, telling him her prayers have been answered.
Mulder can't seem to connect. Scully is hurt that he doesn't seem to feel
or care what a big deal it is for him to be alive--especially considering how
hard the last 6 months have been on her. He apologizes--
for his POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS maybe??? Lay off, Dana.
Remarkable, he's the only guy reacting somewhat believably to rising from the dead.

Freaky preacher Absalom is slipped a newspaper article in prison about
the White House census guy and it causes him to look even more freaky than
normal--must not be good news. But...why all the intrigue, what don't they
have TV in prison?

Kersh calls Skinner and Dogg into his office--he's irritated about a memo
from Scully asking that Mulder be reassigned to the X-Files. None of
this makes sense. Again, why does Kersh keep them open if he hates them so
much? Why WOULDN'T he want Mulder on them instead of Dogg? Anyway, he
claims that the X-Files have been more successful under Dogg than
Mulder--more cleared cases. Dogg is all aw shucks "I'm just a simple new
Yawk cop, doing my ting." Kersh claims that the X-Files can't be about
personal crusades like Mulder's--even though it BEGAN as a personal
crusade of Mulder's 8 years ago when, as Dogg says, Mulder started the unit.
Dogg refuses to be the one to tell Mulder he's off the X-Files.

Skinner and Scully tell Mulder the news, and Skinner, still inexplicably
coming off like a toady tells Mulder that Kersh is trying to punish
Mulder (?). Mulder hasn't heard of Dogg, and Scully tells him that he was her
partner in Mulder's absence. When Mulder implies he's in on the
conspiracy, Scully vouches for his character. Mulder shrugs it off, saying he's
anxious to get back to work on the X-Files, Kersh and Doggett be damned.

Absolom escapes his prison chain gang and breaks into Dogg's house (he's
freaky, so we'll gave Carter and co. the benefit of the doubt on his
ability to find Dogg's address and manage a break-in) and demands Dogg
help him. Absolom checks the back of Dogg's neck to prove he's still human.
Dogg's house is still inexplicably large and homey and now we are to
believe he would go out and buy an iMac--in "Snow." Yeah, Dogg looks
like the kind of guy who not only gets a "cute" computer, but asks for a
vanity color. Please tells us about his wife, dead kid--other kids? Soon?
Absolom tells a doubtful Dogg that the invasion is already begun--there
are aliens among us.

We don't get a scene where Scully blasts Mulder for not telling her he
was dying, that'd be nice. Skinner holds a slideshow about the missing
Absolom. One of the slides is a picture of a bunch of alleged "alien
abductees" who Absolom supposedly healed. As usual, the Other Agents are
there to snicker at the mention of aliens. Scully is upset that Dogg
isn't there. Skinner claims this is an X-file, therefore he can't run the
case--it has to be Dogg. This makes no sense, since Skinner has more
experience than Dogg and, since when was Dogg in charge? Can't Scully
run the case? I realize she's very very pregnant but...she's there so why
can't she run the case? She gets a page on her phone--Mulder requests
their presence. He's at his desk, all suited up and ready to work. He's
positively gleeful, but they are distressed. He wants to run the show,
they are afraid he's gonna get them all in trouble.

Mulder shows them the photo of the alien abductees that Skinner showed
the Other Agents--the white house census disc guy is in the picture. Scully
seems embarrassed to have missed the connection. Mulder scoffs at the
very idea of Dogg's being able to deal with this case. When Mulder starts
talking vast conspiracy, suddenly, now that's he's back, Scully and
Skinner start questioning everything he says, even though they were
on board when he was dead. They tell him he's being paranoid.
Mulder and Scully snoop around the evidence locker that has the
white house census disc guy's stuff. Mulder doesn't give a crap that he
could go to prison for doing so. His behavior is totally in step, I thought
with Mulder--not just OLD Mulder, but you know, Mulder wasn't exactly
rule-guy BEFORE he was sliced and diced in a spaceship and laid in a coffin
for three months. Why WOULD he be afraid of office politics, the end of his
career, prison, etc.? Scully's fretting over his lack of concern about his safety,
his career, etc. was just like old times. Conveniently, the first box Mulder opens
just happens to hold the guy's lap top, and he turns it on and finds lots
and lots of encrypted info. Scully helps him swipe the hard drive cuz
she loves him.

Absolom and Dogg march into the Census Bureau. Absolom has taped a gun
at his back so as to shoot him in the head if things go awry. None of this
makes sense. The guard wants to know who the hell they are. Dogg shows
his badge. Okay, yeah, he's FBI--but like Scully throwing her medical
credentials around (apparently nurses will do anything you tell them if
you say you're a doctor) the guy just let's Dogg in, without asking what the
hell he's doing there. We know from EIGHT FREAKING YEARS OF
WATCHING THIS SHOW that being FBI agents doesn't gain you access
to anywhere you want, ask Mulder and Scully! The guard doesn't ask who
freaky Absolom is at all, just let's em pass, but sees on his heat detector thing
that Absolom has a gun. They try to gain access to a white room o' computers
but are thwarted by guards, who shoot absolom in the head with a bullet that
burns a little road in Dogg's cheek.

Next day, Dogg is sitting in Skinner's office telling him that Absolom
believed that there was info in the Census bureau that would help prove
"dat dey was already among us--whoeveh dey aw." Mulder storms in, and
Dogg gets up to introduce himself, but Mulder gets in his face, shoving him to
his seat, calling him part of the conspiracy, and accusing him of trying
to cover up the truth and getting Absolom killed. Dogg is flabbergasted at
Mulder's ranting, insisting he was almost killed. Mulder is a big jerk,
basically. He has no reason to trust Dogg--unless you count Sculy's
instincts and word but when has that been enough? Also, who was Absolom?

When we first met him, he seemed to me to be Smith's clueless lackey.
Then last week, he seemed delusional--like he really thought he was Christ and
healing people with Godlike powers, not Smithlike alien mojo. NOW, he's
trying to break into government facilities to get files? And Mulder is
convinced that this man was a truth-seeker based on WHAT, exactly.
Mulder's being a big jerk is totally in character, so we don't mind, but
Skinner tries to excuse him by blaming in on that whole
alien-torture-buried alive thing.

At Scully's, Mulder is greeted warmly by the lone gunmen, here in their
rightful spot in the universe as guest stars, I'm sorry. Langly makes a
joke about Mulder's being the father of Scully's baby, which seems to
indicate that Mulder is the father. Okay. Why didn't Scully just
mention that at the grave site when she was going on about Mulder
being the last?

Why didn't we get to see her tell her mother or Skinner of even Dogg that
she was carrying Mulder's baby. Or what about Mulder's INITIAL reaction
to her being pregnant?? I don't know why Carter keeps cheating us out of
the best scenes, unless its simply that he lacks the talent to write any of
them. The Lone gunmen say there's no way into the stolen hardrive files.
They'd need a password and access to the census computers at the census
building. Scully has obviously done her trembly lip crying things for
the boys, who tell Mulder its impossible and that he should give up. Mulder
says he doesn't care if they outvote him, he's doing it anyway. He then
makes an election scandal reference, meaning its at least mid-November.

Dogg's inside pal Noel--no, he's not the Unabomber--who helped Scully
escape the evil OBGYN conspiracy earlier this year gives Dogg the three
word passphrase into the files Mulder is after. Dogg thinks he's being
used and that Absolom shouldn't have been shot. Since he was holding a
gun and threatening to kill a federal agent, I don't see how Mulder OR Dogg
can really be suspicious of this shooting but, whatever. Noel tells Dogg
"fight the future." Dogg tells Scully to tell Mulder. Scully hesitates,
but tells Mulder. Then she calls Skinner and cries about how worried she
is about Mulder's plans. Skinner tells Dogg and is pissed when Dogg
tells him that he was the one who gave Scully the code. Skinner says "who's
side are you on?" Suddenly, Dogg feels duped. He thinks he's been used to
set up Mulder and rushes to the Census Bureau. Skinner inexplicably does not
follow.

Scully is sitting in a car, waiting to drive getaway for Mulder.
Something a seven month pregnant woman should certainly be doing.
Scully, take a class or something, the kid is supposed to be your number
one priority.
Anyway, the Lone Gunmen are hanging in the wires, bypassing alarms and
codes so that Mulder can get into the computer room at the census place.
Mulder gets into the room Absolom wanted access to and starts looking at
files, using the Fight the future code phrase. Dogg has managed to get
past the guards too and pounds on the door. Mulder glances up and says
"talk to the hand" and keeps typing, so Dogg shoots his way in. This
sounds no alarm, nor does it cause any guards to come running.

Mulder tries to email the files to the media etc. Dogg insists it's a
trap, but Mulder thinks he's trying to con him and won't listen to him.
He insists the world must know that the government is using the Census to
profile people for possible alien abduction (still no reall good why on
that). Scully sees a bunch of troop trucks arriving--I guess all the
guards were waiting far away as part of the set-up, that's okay I guess,
I'll buy that. She warns it's a set-up. Langly tells Mulder its a
set-up--the files can't be emailed, they can't leave the computer. Fox
and Dogg manage to escape through the roof before the government goons can
kill them. There is no "you're a good man, agent Dogg" scene with Mulder, so
presumably he will still distrust DOgg next episode.

Dogg and Skinner confront Unabomber jogger Noel about the set-up and
threaten to expose him. He tells them they need him. They've only
touched the tip of the iceberg, he claims, and they need his information (though
why on earth he thinks they'd trust him after this I don't know). They
aren't happy, but they leave. In closing, we see why he's all about the
big hooded sweatshirt--he has scary bumbs on his spine--He's ONE OF THEM,
and alien pod person!

SO that was cool. There is some irrevocable damage to the show, you
know?
But maybe they can end strong. Next week, no new episode (Easter and
all), then we have 5 more episodes to go until...next season or forever. My
guess is, there's a season nine. What else would Fox do, really? In the
scenes we saw of the next five shows, we see Moonbeam (aka Agent Reyes)
helping Scully deliver her baby. The teaser claims it'll be SHOCKING.
Now, I ask you how can that be? I mean, if it's a baby, what's shocking
about that ? Nothing. If it's an alien baby, what's shocking about
that? Nothing. Maybe it'll be TWINS--one alien, one human!! SHOCKING!! My
sister Jen suspects Jonathan Winters.

Am I the only one who thinks the coolest way to end the show would be to
kill Mulder and Scully? I mean REALLY actually martyr them in the cause
of truth, justice and the American Way. I know they won't but, I think
it'd be cool. My fear is, they go on the run, allowing Moonbeam and Dogg to
solve the X-Files with their occasional very special guest star help, gag.
We'll see. But I'm glad the aliens are here, it looks exciting. For all
my complaints, the show was engaging tonight. Have a good couple weeks.

Christine :)