Survivor 3.10--nothing much to write from home about....

Well, I can't honestly complain about any episode in which Jeff Probst
tells us a story and Ethan takes a shower, but I thought this one was kinda
boring. Frank was an obvious choice to vote out, and there really wasn't a
lot of talking in this one. So, I'll be (relatively) brief! :)

The show opens with the fall-out of Brandon's ouster. Lex plays it cool,
pretending not to be freaked out over the fact that his alliance didn't do
what he wanted, "I was mildly bummed. Brandon was a friend." I'm as
perplexed by this as the other members of Boron--when exactly did this
friendship develop? I guess either CBS left in on the cutting room floor
or Lex is imagining it. Lex goes to Old Kim (Jeff called her KJ, which is
nicer than Old Kim, but it's to late in the game for this old dog to learn
a new trick, sorry OK) and confirms that they're "still solid, right?" She
nods, but there's some grumbling behind Lex's back. Ethan says that Lex
has pushed their friendship to its limit by trying to enlist his own
personal insurance policy instead of trusting the alliance they'd worked
out since day one. Lex did Tom wrong by trying to protect Brandon instead
of Tom. Lex comes of like an moron once again when he raves, "We have an
advantage in numbers, so everything's FINALLY going our way." But a) they
could have had the number advantage days ago had they ousted a Samburuan
instead of Kelly and b) he's including Brandon, his "trusted ally" as a
member of the other team even though he told Boron Brandon was one of them.

Old Kim listens to Ethan wonder how Lex could give his word to Brandon, and
let it supersede his word to Tom and the rest of them. OK looks me square
in the eye and says, "See Christine, I *know* I'm number four, but I'm
trying to move up to three, all right? I'm not stupid!" Sorry OK, and
best of luck to ya! Lil Kim tells us she's kinda sad to have voted for
Brandon, but it had to be done.

Lil Kim pulls the 2am to 4am night watch shift (do they have an alarm
clock?) and she and Ethan listen intently at a lion prowling around the
camp looking for a chicken perhaps? Or a Lil Kim? Jeopardy or no, I'd do
all sorts of chore trading to have Ethan protect *me* from a lion in the
dead of night, and then (sigh) tease me about it. Ethan's just so neat.

Then we have a rather long, traditional Survivor: Everyone's weak, starving
and sickly interlude. Lex says it's O.K. to admit you're weak and hungry,
so long as everyone is, like he needs to defend his masculinity somehow.
Yes Lex, you aren't eating, WE KNOW. He thinks he's so interesting as he
tells us "We're only eating like, a couple hundred calories a day! Has
anyone triumphed over suffering like MotoMaji? Ever in the history of
mankind?!" Lil Kim says, "This is the corn meal we have to eat--or as wee
at Motomaji call it, "Maize." Old Kim's legs are all spongy and pliable
and gross. I'm still disturbed by that--she was like an "X-File." Tom had
tons of weight to lose, and is looking pretty good.

Tom and Ethan discuss Lex and the lions. I seriously thought so, anyway,
until I realized that Tom was saying *alliance.* Sure sounded like
*Lions.* Ethan reveals that he wanted to win Survivor all by his lonesome
without being in an alliance, but quickly learned that was impossible. Yes
girls, he's humble and adaptable too. Tom feels betrayed by Lex's throwing
him over for Brandon. Let's hope *that* wound continues to fester. Ethan
says he knows Tom is loyal to him and Old Kim, but doesn't think Big Tom
and forgive and forget. Yay :D

Reward poem.

Here's a hand-made toy
It doesn't mean a dang thing
We thought it was cool

Jeff tells them it's time for the Survivor reward auction--where everyone
wins! And everyone does. Everyone gets some yum yums. Tom and Ethan
pool their money for the final mystery meal, which is a pancake breakfast.
He crows with delight over the fact that Ethan, a kosher Jew, won't eat the
bacon. I watched this episode twice, and did not hear Tommy refer to Tom
as "Jew boy," but he apparently did because he apologizes later and Ethan
says he wasn't hurt by it--that's just lovable Big Bear! I hope my love
of bacon won't keep me and Ethan apart...

Afterwards, it's time for another Lexture, as Lex reads way to much into
the auction and decides that everyone is paired off with a bestest buddy
except for Lil Kim, and watching everyone wheel and deal was sooooo
fascinating in terms of THE GAME. It was pretty boring, I thought.
Everyone ate something, everyone won. Though I did think Old Kim and
Ethan toyed a bit too much with T-bird, who came off looking kind of whiny
when OK let Ethan outbid her for the chicken she initially offered to sell
to T-bird, and Old Kim looked kinda harsh by turning into an auction
instead of honoring her initial offer to sell one piece of chicken and a
bite of potatoes for x amount of shillings--it's *not* like they got to
keep the money or anything. The money didn't do Old kim any good--she
didn't buy anything else!

Old Kim's luxury item are the gift that keep on giving, as they've
fashioned a checkerboard and painted rocks as the pieces. That's cool.
Then we have this whole montage about how everyone suspects that Big Tom
isn't as stupid as he lets on--after all he IS a great Checkers player!
This theory seems shot to hell in a few minutes when he can't remember a
damn bit of Jeff's story in the immunity challenge--unless that too is an
act...nah. Lex assures us that, "I knew Big Tom was smart Waaaay before
anyone else did. I pretty much started that trend." Doesn't Lex seem like
a surfer-goon who should be hassling Keanu Reeves in "Point Break"?

A herd of Zebras rumbles by. the animals are so cool this season. It's
cool that we see our little Survivors interacting with them. In Australia,
it was all inserts. Of course, the only time an animal got within 200
yards of camp Michael killed it, so maybe it's all for the better.

Then we have the shower interlude. Big Tom worshes everun ewf. The camera
gets an eyeful of Ethan's lanky body, and despite the lack of food, his
arms are still very powerful. Sigh. He intrigues us further by saying he
doesn't really worry about anyone watching him change clothes. Even his
talking about farting just makes him seem down to earth! Lil Kim tells us
she's not body conscience either--easy to say when you obviously got your
whole body waxed before you went to Africa. Tom has a good ol' time
pouring water down Kim's suit. Lex does his share of ogling too, though he
puts it all on Tom. It's a big "We are Family" lovefest at the bathing
hole.

Immunity challenge. jeff tells them a story, and they have to answer
questions correctly, smash an egg that corresponds to the right answer, get
apiece of leather band tie to a staff. I tease Big Tom, but it was harder
than the ones I remember before this. The smashed eggs are "magically';
replaced by the ever-present but always unseen Survivor production crew.
Tom struggles, Frank comes close...but Lex wins. :( I hate in when Lex is
happy.

A really pretty moonset/sunrise scene. CBS decides not to give us anything
to wonder about, and we get a major foreshadowing moment as Frank tells us
how much he loves being out her, "I love being outdoors and I love Africa.
I love the smell, I love the sun, I love the zebras. I love the lions, the
monkeys and the zebras. I love tending the fire and feeding the chickens.
I love taking walks and sleeping underneath the stars. And, yeah, I guess
the people are OK sometimes." Then at lunch, Frank goes off on a pro-NRA
rant, talking about those freakin' liberals blah blah blah. Man this
episode had sex, politics AND religion, and still manages to be the dullest
one yet--how'd that happen? T-Bird hurts for Frank, sorrowful that he
probably put the final nail in his coffin. Frankly...hee hee...frankly, I
think Frank knew what he was doing. he knew he was near the top of the
list, so why not mouth off? I also suspect it was his final gift to
Teresa. I think he was making sure T-Bird stayed at least a few more days
in Africa, I really do.

Plucky T-Bird isn't going out without a fight, sho nuff! Lil Kim explains,
"It's a cool idea for T-bird to try and save us by lobbying Kim away form
the boys. However, in my final tribute to my departed necklace pals, I'm
gonna sit over here and do nothing to help my own cause. Go T-bird!"
Teresa tries to get Old Kim to flip on Ethan, to break up the boys club and
install the all-girl alliance I was pushing for last week, but it *really*
rubs Old Kim the wrong way. Teresa's valid argument for targeting ethan
is, "He's absolutely perfect. He's smart, sweet, athletic, caring, witty,
interesting--well you get the idea. Who's gonna stand a chance against him
in the the vote?" Old Kim isn't pleased, complaining, "Yes, I'm number
four who the boys plan on eliminating eventually--but it was bad form on
Teresa's part to actually draw attention to it!" When she speculates that
T-bird would vote her out in favor of Frank, Teresa vows that her "loyalty"
would be to Old Kim, which is kind of Lexish, I hate to say. She's either
lying to Old Kim, or promising to eliminate Frank. Odd. I liked Teresa's
choice of Kim as the one to lobby, I liked the "We are women, here us roar"
angle, I even agreed with her reasons for choosing Ethan to gun for. But
as soon as she said, "I'd pledge my loyalty to you, oh mighty Kim!" I just
cringed. It was an announcement of weakness. It made her seem too
desperate. Kim goes straight to Ethan with the plan, declaring herself
"shocked and pissed," that T-bird would think she'd sell out the boys, and
that the boys have no loyalty to her. Ethan rises to new levels of
perfection and grace when he reminds Old Kim that Teresa is desperate to
survive in the game and has every right to make that happen however she
can--even if it involves trying to oust him. It is a game. Old Kim is
being pretty shrewd here--she let's Ethan know that another company has
expressed interest in her--maybe she'll get a raise? She certainly
*deserves* to pass up Lex on the depth chart, but again, I fear Ethan wants
to go in with Lex to win the game. Old Kim tells us she can't turn on
Ethan now. I hope it's significant that she didn't mention Tom or
Lex...Old Kim tells Teresa she won't be voting for Ethan, and T-bird thanks
her for giving her the heads up so they can do something else. Old Kim
kinda turned a shade of green, realizing she may have just lost T-bird and
Lil Kim's jury votes.

Tribal Council. Brandon arrives, clean-shaven and dressed for an evening
of clubbing. He and Kelly both sashay to their seats like they're prowling
across a catwalk in Milan. Jeff does the hardsell on "How can you get rid
of someone and then ask them to vote for you." But, this is made into to
big a deal if you ask me. In past seasons, many people vote for the person
they feel was MOST responsible for their ouster, because that's how you
play the game. Also, you can't abstain. You have to pick one of two
people, and you are *probably* gonna feel a little betrayed or annoyed at
both of them. Teresa and Ethan both argue that their actions leading up to
the vote, not the vote itself, should help them out. Ethan looked a little
doubtful when T-Bird talked about playing as honestly as you can, but he
can't throw stones in that department. He's done his share of plotting,
they all have. When Jeff asks Lex if the game is gonna get ugly, he says,
"Well, it's already gotten ugly--remember when I got that one vote?! And
then the week after that I got, like, three more!! That sucked!!" He
doesn't mention his gut, but it's always there, watching, like the silent
jury. When Jeff asks Frank about old tribal lines, Frank makes a
half-hearted attempt to become a member of the new Motomaji tribe, but his
anti-social behavior has already painted the target in indelible ink. Jeff
actually has to remind everyone, "You can't vote for Lex, I'm sorry!"
Since no one is voting for Lex, they all have something nice to say. We
don't see what Lex said, but it was probably a re-run from last week. Lil
Kim violates the "necklace code" by praising Frank as someone she's learned
from and enjoyed spending time with. T-Bird cries as she writes Frank's
name, and kisses the ballot goodbye. These are the first *real* tears at
tribal council I can remember in a long time...I don't count the slugs
crying over Lindsay's ouster. Teresa was smart here though. She doesn't
tip her hand or antagonize anyone by voting for anyone she *knows* is
staying. Frank was done fore, Old Kim told her so. Although Kim a)
doesn't know that T-Bird didn't vote for her and b)doesn't know that all
the hidden votes were for Frank. That *might* help T-Bird because Old Kim
may feel more vulnerable than she is...Or she may feel angry and stop
listening to T all together. Anyway, Frank is eliminated 6-1. Kelly and
Brandon don't look all that pleased to have Frank joining them at the
hotel. Frank gives a very moving goodbye speech, pleding his unfailing
devotion and love and support to his wife and little daughters--I don't
care what the brats say, Frank doesn't *seem* like someone who wouldn't
vote for a woman. I think if T-Bird or even Lil Kim wound up at the end,
he'd support them. Frank goes out in the same position as smooth-talking
Gervase and...oh, I'm drawing a blank here...some guy named Nick, remember?
Black guy? Lawyer? Yeah, me neither, still.

Next week, the weepy "letters from home" episode. Lex's crying *will not*
win me over!

Couple of things. next week, we lose Lex, Lil Kim or T-bird. I honestly
think the best think Old kim could do for herself is side with the girls
this week only, to eliminate Lex. That way, she becomes three outright.
She shows Tom and Ethan that *she* has the power, not them. They have to
protect her or she'll side with the girls again to oust them. Lex will
only know it was one of them who sold him out, he won't know who, and with
his "unfailing" gut to guide him, he'll probably guess wrong.

That's what I'd want to happen. I think what's most likely though, is
T-bird gets axed. She crossed a line with Old Kim, not by asking her to
join Samburu, but by seeming so pathetic and unstable when she did it.
Ethan also knows T-Bird isn't bewitched by his curly locks like me---I
mean, like the Kims. I think they'll oust her before Lil Kim, she's less
threatening. If T-bird wins immunity, they can still target Lil Kim and
gun for T-bird next time.

In summation, rooting for Lex, but expecting T-bird. Time will tell.
Happy Holidays, peace, Christine :)

Survivor 3.9 Instant Karma gets Brandon

You reap what you sow, and the Survivor gods were using Miracle Gro cuz
Brandon's lack of loyalty to old Samburu is repaid *immediately*, they join
with all the sane members of Boron...and Big Tom...to oust him 6-2. Lex
votes for his *new nemesis, * now that Kelly has been vanquished, Frank.
When Frank goes it'll be...oh, I don't know, the water buffalo that lives
two tree clumps over. Lex needs an enemy.

When this episode began, I at first thought CBS had tinkered with the
timeslots. A crazed serial murderer was glaring intently at a fire, and I
thought, "What the heck? Why is CSI on at 8pm?" Then I realized it was
Lex. I believe it was Lex going on and on at the beginning of the episode
about how the mood in camp was grim, and that the camp was divided between
the people who had voted for Kelly, and the ones that had voted for Lex.
He referred to himself in the third person, but that seems Lexy. Then he
says, "When you think about it, the GAME is a lot like REAL LIFE. It's all
about finding out who you can trust, man. And tattoos." Lex loooooves to
hear himself talk--especially about his enemies and THE GAME. Lex is like
Keith only psychotic instead of merely passive aggressive. His evil
manifests itself as a crazy whirlwind, that
spooks some antelopes. It should spook Ethan, but he's worried about
Brandon--and not just because of the way he looks at him at the bathing
hole.

Ethan: "Lex, Brandon turned against his friends, people who trusted him.
What makes you think he won't do the same thing to you?" Lex snarls,
"THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY!!" Uhmmm...actually, it's EXACTLY what happened,
Lex. Just
ask Lil Kim, who tells Old Kim and Teresa, "I never thought I'd be betrayed
by Brandon. We made *necklaces* together, OK? And in Generation X
culture, that's like a totally sacred pledge that you can never break.
This is what broke up
Smashing Pumpkins." I think in Lex's mind, Brandon IS a loyal person
because Lex is the center of the universe. In Lexworld, defending him is
some sort of moral imperative. Therefore, Brandon is smart and good and
true because he understands all this. That's how Lex can look at Ethan
with a straight face and imply that the Samburans don't have a right to
feel betrayed, and that's how he can say 'Brandon saved our skins last
night! We owe him OUR LIVES!!" True, Brandon did save Lex, but Lex
wouldn't have needed saving had he not turned on Kelly. Lex rambles on,
"I'll never forget Brandon's nobility. I'll also never forget FRANK, who's
trying to SCREW ME!" Just a game, eh Lex? Once again, say it with
feeling, this is a game show where people vote against one another in an
attempt to win a million dollars. Lex, like Silas before him, somehow
takes it personally when anyone else tries as hard as he does to win the
damn game. Why on EARTH would Frank try to help Lex?

Ethan frets that Brandon is only loyal to Lex and not the rest of Boron. I
have to chuckle at Ethan--folks, he deserves every bit of discomfort that
comes his way. You lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas--no sense
complaining about the itchiness. Ethan chose THIS alliance: He believes
he can win immunity over Tom and Old Kim any ol' time he wants, and he
thinks that sitting beside Lex at the end game means $1 million dollars
worth of Umbro gear. Keeping Lex around is part of his strategy, and yes,
that does involve beating one's head against a brick wall. Tough Wamba
lemon cookies, Ethan.

I think Lex is gonna be around for a good long time, kids. Whenever that
depresses you, remember that he IS making an idiot of himself on national
TV every time he opens his mouth, which is often. Now he's whining to
Ethan and Old Kim, "I did what I had to do to save us! Me! Just because I
boss everyone around and tell everyone who to vote for doesn't mean I want
any of the responsibilities that leadership might entail!!" Old Kim rolls
her eyes at Lex and puts sunscreen on Ethan--hey, I want *that* job! Ethan
and Tom are worried about Lex's bizarre devotion to Brandon, and how it
affects their three--er, four person alliance. They may *like* Old Kim,
but this is a boys club, I'm afraid:( It sort of detracts from my Ethan
crush, but I suppose it is the smart thing to do. I mean, if I were
Ethan's
wife........................................................................

.....................................hmmm.....huh? What!? Oh, excuse me,
what were we talking about? Yes, yes, strategy, of course. If I were
Ethan's wife, I'd warn him *not* to go in to the final two with a likable
middle-aged woman ala Tina. In a jury situation, a young, single, kidless
guy like Ethan (Colby), who's intelligent and great-looking and good at
everything...might bug the crap out of people, quite frankly. He doesn't
*need* the money. Things have come to him rather easily, probably his
whole life. He's not a shoe-in by any means, unless he goes in with Lex or
maybe Frank. He is a HUGE threat to get to the final two, however. If I
were in Moto Maji with Ethan, that over-sized ballot would be damp and
smudged with my tears, but I'd try and get rid of him the next time he
didn't get immunity, to increase my odds of making it the final 4.

The girls need to band together and get rid of Lex and Tom and beautiful,
but dangerous Ethan. I gotta root for my sistas, aaaight? Yeah, Ethan's
purty and sweet, but if you want the million, you gotta vote out the people
that will take votes away from you, not people who *bother* you. I mean,
yes, there's the satisfaction of eliminating a jerk, but think about it, 30
days is hardly an impossible amount of time to spend with someone you can't
stand. Anyone who's ever, I don't know...had a JOB? Certainly knows that.
If Lex had any grasp of reality, he'd keep Frank around. But Lex is
too in love with himself to realize that he's become the least likable
white guy in Africa, now that apartheid is over.

Tom and Frank complain about the womenfolk, reminding me, "Hey, there are
worse things than being single. I could be married to a lout!" Tom does
his apparently endearing little jig at the bathing hole, where Brandon is a
bit of an outcast. He doesn't care, telling America, "If anyone thought
for a second that I might be either mature or intelligent enough to put
aside my petty differences with Frank in order to increase my chances of
winning, they are SADLY mistaken. I made a Necklace Vow never to align
with Frank, and even if voting with Lex means I have to go home in three
days? It's soooooo worth it." Hokey dokey brandon :D

Lex glares at Frank and tells us, "Frank represents all the squares, man.
When I take my old lady to the Sizzler in Capitola for a little prime rib,
Frank is that Army Officer from Fort Ord, sneering at me like I'm not
"dressed properly." Look, I have to wear tank tops everywhere so people
can see my tattoos and, for the record, flip flops *are* shoes. He tried
to make an alliance with me and I told him, look, I already made my
alliance, PLUS I just made yet another alliance with Brandon so nyah nyah."

FLIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAKE THEM
STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :O You get the idea.

Tom has a giant boil on his neck, that, in the absence of television,
entrances the tribe. Big Tom is right proud of it, "Issa hon. Ul theh
parful amnuls heve em. Theh Rhinow en theh enlope hev em, Neh big Bar's
get when." When one of the women tries to get it to pop, Tom tells us that
women like to cause men pain, "The ports yeh wan them tuh skwise, theh won,
the ports yeh don' want em tuh, theh do en coz pin." Maybe women don't
want to touch you because you are prone to developing big, gross, scary
boils, Tom. Personally, I would like to cause Tom *great* pain, but I
imagine one could beat him about the head with a 2x4 for several days
without him even realizing it. Maybe I could ask him to alphabetize
something.

A reward haiku:

Not a big surprise
Obstacle course is classic;
Pairing off a twist

Old Kim suggests it could get ugly if someone is left odd man out, so they
pick numbers form a hat. Brandon and Frank become a team, and Teresa
quotes Tina, "Let the games begin!" Tom and Lil Kim are another team, and
Tom beats me to the joke when he says they're doomed if the challenge
requires any mental ability. Frank uses his, "My camping trip has gone to
hell" line AGAIN to describe how he feels about being with Brandon. He
goes on, "Believe you me, never in a hundred million years would I ever
*choose* to be paired with Brandon. I mean, you saw, it, it was out of my
hands, it was random. If I had to pick one person NOT to be with, it's be
him. Write it down somewhere, mail a copy to all your family and friends
until every home in America has their own personal record of my loathing
and contempt for Brandon and, by extension, all queers."

The reward is a night at the movies, complete with candy, hotdogs, nachos
and, thank the Lord it's there or it wouldn't even be worth it, "All the
Mountain Dew you can Drink!" Brandon yells at Frank like a drill sergeant,
and the unlikely duo wins. Back at camp, no one can resist poking fun at
Frank and Brandon's "chemistry." Tom is particularly amused by all the
"Brandon and Frank as lovers" repartee, and I don't know about you, but it
gave me a real "Deliverance" vibe. I'm sure Frank would be offended by
these comments if he ever saw them, but I bet you a buck he doesn't even
watch the show when he gets home. When he tells that to Bryant Gumbel,
remember I called it.

The movie is the Oscar-winning snoozer "Out of Africa," an especially
ironic title for the soon-to-be-departed, and always "way out" Brandon.
Brandon tells us that Frank is abrasive, and they don't have anything in
common. Frank tells us, "I don't know if the first ninety nine times I
told you this have sunk in so let me reiterate. I HATE GAY PEOPLE. I
don't like being around them EVER. I am still...what's a good euphemism
for bigoted...oh, I'm very "old-fashioned." I was EXTREMELY uncomfortable
the whole entire time, but, using my Army training, I was able to somehow
live through watching a film next to one of those people. I will devote
the next forty years of live to repressing this event."

Back at camp, Lex is baffled by Tom and Ethan's mistrust of Brandon,
"Brandon kisses my ass--figuratively, mind you--and he deserves respect. I
have a code, man. Tom and Ethan want to vote him out, so I may have to
vote outside my fray." Yes kids, he really said that. For the record,
"fray" means fight or noisy debate. I think he has taken the phrase "rise
above the fray" and extrapolated some meaning out of it that doesn't
actually exist. His CBS.com bio insists he's fluent in French, which may
be true--it doesn't claim he has a great grasp of English, though he is a
college graduate and a communications major at that. Regardless, Lex is
our best hope yet, in terms of ignorance AND megalomaniacal paranoia, to
give a Survivor finale speech that rivals Sue's "rat eats the snake"
display of cosmic idiocy *fingers crossed,* especially as he is bound to
feel betrayed by several more people by that time.

Anyway, Ethan once again gets a headache trying to talk sense to Lex.
Ethan wonders how strong his bond is to Brandon--is it stronger than the
preexisting ones he has to Tom Ethan and Kim? Lex will only say that his
loyalty to Brandon will end, "When you guys get rid of him, I guess." Tom
chats up Frank to see if he can help them oust Brandon without Lex's help.
Frank tells us, "i like Tom, he's as ignorant and narrow-minded as I am.
Lex is trying to bring Brandon into their group, and Tom is understandably
terrified. People are changing their alliances as often as they change
their underwear out here: every two or three days." Brandon and Lil kim go
for a walk where Brandon pretends to so not EVEN understand how LiL Kim
might feel like he backstabbed her by joining the other side instead of
voting with her and Samburu the way they had agreed on, and giving them the
chance to eliminate old Boron. "What matters is you're the only person out
here who i even remotely like and we'll be Friends Forever!" Gen X
necklace power, ACTIVATE! : Form of a rat-bastard! Lil Kim says, "Brandon,
in the words of Mike and the Mechanics, "Taken In, taken in again. Wrapped
around the finger of some fair-weathered friend. Caught up in the
promises, left out in the end. No pride, taken for a ride. you say I'm
the only one when I look in your eyes. I want to believe you, but you know
to lie..." Brandon blinks, "Whatever, vote for me, I don't care what you
say, we are bestest buddies!"

Immunity Haiku:

Yes, it's the fire test
The one that saved Richard Hatch
don't cheat like Keith did

Lex is geared up for the challenge, "I'm the most vulnerable person in
Survivor HISTORY! It's do or die!"

Every time they show Clarence's flag, I die a little inside :(

Fire challenge: Lil Kim gets emotional, Frank gets DQ'd, Lex wins. He
tells us, "I'm sure you non-Survivors at home can't possibly understand
this, but for some bizarre reason, the longer you're out here, the more you
want to win!" Wow, the mind reels. Then he spews more inanities, "Tom and
Ethan and Old Kim have to agree with my decision to get rid of Frank and
not Brandon. I'm not voting for Brandon, because we have made a sacred
pact. I have made it clear that i am far too honorable to ever betray
Brandon, so if they all decide to vote for Frank and that exposes Tom and
he gets eliminated, hey, they were warned. It'll be their fault when
Samburu picks us off one by one, not mine." This is especially classic
Lex-icon because, for Samburu to be able to pick Boron off one by one,
stalwart Brandon would have to switch back to Samburu, which Lex keeps
saying won't happen. Then he lectures Tom (in one of the most
camera-conscious Survivor exchanges EVER), "You can't let your feelings get
involved at this stage of the game. MY feelings, as determined by gut, are
what's important right now. Frank is going to vote against you, the gut
HAS FORESEEN IT! Decide NOW!!" Is Lex's gut possessed by the same
demon that was in the Son of Sam's neighbor's dog?

Tom is understandably put-off by Lex's high-handedness, and his putting
Brandon's survival above Big Bear's. Tom enlists Frank, who assures him
that T-Bird will vote out Brandon too. Frank suggests that Tom join he and
T-Bird to the finish, but Tom is noncommittal. Tom discusses options with
Ethan who is very resistant to change. He doesn't want T-Bird and Frank
anywhere near his carefully planned out Final Four, thank you very much.
Tom makes sense to Ethan though, when he says that Brandon is less
trustworthy than Frank. Old Kim tells us, "Unlike some people, I've
actually watched the previous seasons of Survivor, and people who switch
sides too early, who display weakness, seem to do poorly. My alliance with
the male-chauvinists has got me this far, I'm not gonna back out just yet."
When she watches this season, I wonder if she'll be surprised at how
bright and bold the number "4" has been painted on her forehead. C'mon
Kim: Girl Alliance! Girl Alliance! Girl Alliance! They can eliminate Lex
with a tie even if Frank is ousted next week (which is most likely if you
ask me.)

Tom reveals how unhappy he is with the situation Lex has put him in: having
to lobby against Brandon or risk getting voted out by a reassembled
Samburu. I really really really really DON'T want to know what Tom means
when he says Lex has put him, "Between a *crack* and a hard place." Yikes!
;)

Tribal Council. Jeff introduces the first juror: Jewel! No, actually it's
a cleaned-up and YM cover-ready Kelly *RuPaul's "Supermodel" plays* Jeff
does his interrogation thing, and Ethan gives an oral report on "The
importance of Confidence when playing Survivor." When Jeff asks Brandon if
he plays with any ethics, he clears up any doubts anyone has about voting
him out by saying, "This is a game with no rules and I simply can't be
trusted to do anything beyond what I consider to be fun at any given
moment! Go me!" Jeff asks Tom the same question: Are there ethics in
Survivor? Or do you suspend your normal beliefs and ethics when you're
playing the game--a game which encourages you to be disingenuous. Tom:
"Ihs buth. Yuh trine be royt with people, bet...Lex is cryzee
soh...whetever heppens, yeh noh?" When Jeff asks Tom what he has to do out
here besides try to figure out what's gonna happen next, he grins, "I gots
ell thes weemehn tuh worsh, ah gotta dence and sayng lak a fool, whilst ah
star et theh weemehn." Everyone laughs. Tom's a dirty old man, but he's
got a funny accent so it's okay! Jeff asks Frank about trust, and he
grunts, "i don't trust anyone who's never put on a uniform, Probst. Yeah,
I'm talking to you!" Lex has been chomping at the bit, waving his hand in
the air, "Oooh, oooh, pick me, pick me! My Gut has quite a bit to say
about trust, jeff. It plays a huge part in all my major decisions. I
mean, when you make the commitment to put a tattoo on your body, you have
to TRUST that it won't go of style. I mean, I can't tell you how glad I am
that I decided *not* to get that KISS tattoo when I was in high school.
Let's face it, what's freakin' cool in 1979 isn't necessarily cool in the
21st Century. Man, that's a trip. 21st Century. Anyway, an eightball
with knife threw it? Classic. Classic in 1984, classic today, man, my
freakin' grandkids are gonna be coming by on their rocket surfboards to
show their friends this puppy, am i right? Yes, yes gut, I'm getting to
that. The point is, my gut told me about Kelly's betrayal, it told me that
Frank is out to get me, it told me to continually add tattoos to my body as
an offering to it or else I'll die, like that Winchester lady putting all
the rooms on her house? And when she quit, she like, died? It's totally
true, check it out." Jeff replies, "...Ooohh Kay. But isn't it fair to say
that your 'gut" is easily influenced by your fragile ego and diseased
brain?" "Jeff...I must not have heard you right. You'd never question The
Gut, would you? I did NOT think so. My gut is like, 90% accurate, so why
don't you back the hell off, Okay?"

A knowing Teresa smirks on behalf of America.

Jeff asks Old Kim how she votes, and she says she tries to think about who
she'd want to win if not her. Ethan chuckles to himself, "My friendship
with her will pay off in spades,
GOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaal!" Then she cleverly assuages
Lex's ego by praising the Gut. When Jeff asks Lil Kim for her worst
quality as a player, she says, "Lil' ol' me? I'm too trusting, I'm too
naive. Basically, I'm just too sweet and good and nice, Jeff." Actually
Lil Kim is too irrelevant. Amberesque. She let Silas boss her around, she
let Lindsey boss her around, now she's listening to T-bird. An
improvement, sure, but she doesn't *stand* for anything really. But, to
make it to the Final Two, she'd have to win oodles of immunity challenges,
so, by then, she'd earn some respect. I don't see that actually happening,
of course, I'm just throwing it out there.

The Vote. Lex gives America his best psycho killer stare-glare and raves
about Frank, "Man, you're just a downer. And that is like, so *not* cool
out here in Africa. Bye Bye!" I love how confident he was :) He was so
certain that the others would follow his lead, tee hee hee. The vote
comes down 6-2, Brandon is ousted in the same week we lost Jenna and Jerri,
and I think he falls somewhere in between them on the human spectrum. He
and Lex were the only ones to vote
for Frank. Brandon can't help but smile at the deliciously camp moment
when Jeff extinguishes his torch with the catchphrase, "The tribe has
spoken."

Next week, I would guess Frank bites the dust. The only thing that makes
me doubt that is the commercials that show Frank being obnoxious, which
makes it seem obvious, and therefore unlikely. But that's still my pick.
Tom Ethan Kim and Lex are taking each other into the final four or at least
five. The Boron boys feel more threatened by Frank's leadership, because
he's a boy, even though T-bird is really in charge of Samburu. If Frank
wins immunity, I'd look for Lil Kim to get the hook,
quashing my hopes for a girl alliance. T-bird has stronger bonds with Old
Kim and Tom (*shudder*), so she'll last longer than the rest. Yes, i've
been wrong lots of times, and I hope I am this time too. I'd love to see
Lex ousted in a stunner, but my gut is telling me to kill people--er, that
is to say, I mean, my gut's telling me Lex will be around for a while, like
it or not.

Last week, Uberspoon! won the poll.

This week's poll question:

What's Survivor body part spin-off has the best chance of making CBS's
2002-2003 fall line-up:

A) Judging Lex's Gut

B) Everybody Loves Tom's Buttcrack

C) Touched by Ethan's Floppy Hair

D) Tom's Amazing Boil

Happy Holidays! Peace, Christine :)

Survivor Africa week 8--another hour of great television!

Okay, how incredible was that? Survivor is truly a sport--on any given
Thursday, anything can happen. Kelly's expulsion was a stunner! She exits
as the first juror--a spot held previously by weirdly entertaining Greg and
tough but endearing Alicia. Love them or hate them, this is the point in
the series where we lose a pivotal player almost every week. Does ANYONE
know what's gonna happen next week?? It's totally up for grabs---due to
the combination of brilliance and stupidity only reality television can
provide...

Morning at MotoMaji, insert: an animal skull picked clean.

Lex is raving like a maniac: "We had all agreed to do what I had said to
do. I told Clarence that we were ALL voting for him, and some...loser,
some TOTALLY NOT COOL person voted for ME instead! I am so pissed off--or
as we super-hip musicians like to say, I'm "torqued." I know it would be
wise to focus on our strategy, and vote out old Samburu one by one, but
instead, I'm going to devote the next couple of days to smoking out the
evil one. When I find that sorry excuse for a human being? I'm going to
kill them in their sleep! RAAHH!"

I first thought Lex was trying to hard. Then I thought he was a dork.
Then I thought he was kinda cool. Then I thought he was irritating. Then
I thought he was lame. Then I thought he was stupid. Now I know the
truth: Lex is a SERIAL KILLER.

Think back...Rich got *tons* of votes from Pagong. Jerri got voted against
all the time. And say what you will about them (hateful, conniving,
scheming, etc), they didn't *cry* about it! They didn't announce to
everyone: "I'm insecure! I'm vulnerable!" At this stage in the game, you
need to be thinking of everyone else as being on YOUR JURY. And right now,
Lex is even making Brandon look good (by right now, I mean, "ten minutes
into this episode", not "as I right this review"). Very few people have
gone through and not gotten votes: Kelly from season one...I *believe* Tina
din't get any either. Everyone else, Colby, Rudy, Stoopid Sue,
Keith...they carried their votes with at least a modicum of dignity...

Lex is hissing at Kelly the next morning, as they try to figure out who
voted against Lex, and Kelly *logically* rules out old Boron. To the
camera, she wonders, "Did Lex ever *watch* Survivor? People get voted
against, that's the game." Lex assures Kelly, "Whosoever has poisoned our
idyllic GREAT SOCIETY, where I am Overlord, they are getting voted out,
strategy be damned! Was it you, Kelly? Are you the usurper!? NO!? SWEAR
ON YOUR BROTHER'S LIFE! Triple swear! Quadruple swear! Swear Infinity!"

Early in the season, Lex told Ethan how he and Tom knew they could count on
each other because both had "sworn on their kids lives." Lex is childish
and creepy. I mean, when you're an adult, your word should be your word.
If you need to soup it up by bringing your loved ones into it, it probably
isn't that strong to begin with.

Kelly makes her second "Stop trying to be my DAD" remark, perhaps a trip to
a family counselor is on tap for Kelly when she gets back to the states.
Brandon doesn't know who voted for Lex, "But I love it! Someone just
wanted to mess with his head--and it turned out to be remarkably easy!
Which gives me an idea..." Brandon makes Lex angry for not wearing black
at breakfast to mourn the end of Lex's voteless status. Brandon tweaked
him a bit by going on and on about what a great day it is. Lex raves some
more about "We had a plan! My plan was supposed to be everyone's plan! I
expected to get a vote from CB--only because Survivor rules stipulate that
you can't vote for yourself...but that second vote was BLASPHEMY!" Lex is
*exactly* like Lindsey and Silas here, indignant that people who *will not
benefit* from following them are trying to go their own way. Why should
old Samburu stick with him? If Lex hadn't become obsessed with this vote,
wouldn't Frank or Brandon be next? And then Kim and then T-Bird? Why
shouldn't they put up a fight? If Lex was even borderline, he could figure
this out--it has to be someone from Samboohoo--but he's psychotic, so he
can't.

Teresa feels kind bad for voting for Lex, "Well, I feel right sorry about
it now, I didn't mean nothin' by it, that's for certain. Lex *is* 38 years
old, he is a father--I made the mistake of assuming that meant he was a
grown-up." Lex tells Teresa, "I'm just gonna let it slide and let them
hang themselves. I know it wasn't you. The voices in my gut are telling
me to trust you, so I will. But I am gonna find out who voted against me
and I am gonna break their neck." Teresa decides not to tell Lex she voted
for him, "My momma didn't raise no fool! It's such a new and strange
sensation, not being straight with someone...but Lex might strangle me to
death if I tell the truth!"

Reward challenge, Kelly reads the haiku:

Jump onto a board
Fill your basket with trinkets
Win goats to barter

The poem comes with a little musical instrument that doesn't actually have
anything to do with the challenge. Lex monopolizes it because he's the
leader AND a musician. The challenge requires them to jump on a
springboard to put a bunch of objects in a basket. Winner goes into town
with a pair of goats to trade for goods, whilst learning a bit about
African culture.

Ethan is beautiful. Er, what I mean to say, Ethan is beautiful AT THE
GAME, and he wins:D The next day, everyone gives him some American crap he
can barter for African crap. Jeff saunters up in his sexy cowboy hat, and
I'm all jazzed because I think it's gonna be Jeff and Ethan's Excellent
African Adventure, but Jeff doesn't go :( Instead, he lets Ethan pick
someone to go with him and he picks...

Lex >:( Because, Ethan says, Lex came in second place, "And, of course,
I'm afraid of what he might do if insult him in any way," Ethan continues.
Frank *jokes* to Ethan that he should trade Lex, and Frank is my friend
again. Lex tells us about the trip into town, "It was INCREDIBLE. The
whole point of OUR mission is for US to trade OUR goats--" Lex, it's
Ethan's reward, BACK OFF! The African villagers are amused as Lex and
Ethan struggle to get the goats off the truck. They go around trying to
sell the goats, and LEX decides they should take 1600 shillings from this
guy who takes them straight to a butcher--I wonder how much they'd have
gotten if they'd gone straight there--or even asked what they were worth.
Lex tells us, "We had an entourage, we were being stared at--it was a dream
come true for me!"

So, they go this restaurant and buy ONE beer, ONE soda (for a wonder, it
WAS NOT Mountain Dew), and TWO orders of French fries. It costs them 1000
shillings. It costs them more than one goat. That CAN'T be right. I
mean, more power to the Wamba people and everything, but it seems our boys
got hosed. Ethan gets immediately sick and has to use a *scary* bathroom.
Lex is too FREAKING COOL to get diarrhea, man. A local man offers to help
Ethan and Lex get good deals around town. Lex challenges him, "Will you be
fair with us? Do you swear on your CHILDREN?! Because if you are snake
trying to poison our shopping trip, I will trade you this pair of
sunglasses for a knife and then I will cut your head off with it!!"

Bartering aplenty. Ethan trades the shirt off his back, but sadly, he's
wearing another one underneath. Then he plays hackysack with a bunch of
little kids. Then he gives his hacky sack--his luxury item--to a little
kid. Sigh. Ethan's the neatest boy EVER.

back at camp, T-Bird takes advantage of a Lexless camp to try and unite
what's left of old Samburu. Frank doesn't trust the kids, but realizes he
doesn't have much of a choice at this point. The boys return. Lex vows
not to rub anyone's nose in how much fun they had, "Because that just ISN'T
COOL and COOL is how I have chosen to live my life. They distribute candy
and cookies to the rest of the tribe. Brandon looks up adoringly at Ethan
and says, "Ethan, I--I mean WE, the whole tribe, WE love you!" I'd make
fun of him, but who am I to cast stones? If I were on Survivor, I'd have
done the same thing, and some other snarky girl would have posted *her*
review to *her* friends, complaining about how pathetic and lovestruck I
am. Everyone fawns over Ethan--the reward challenge winner--and not so
much over tag-a-long Lex, who mutters, "Of course, Ethan got all the
credit, even though I did a lot of the trading myself. Don't get me wrong,
he deserves it. But still, everyone's on MY LIST."

Kelly and Lil Kim get water, and Kim tells Kelly that T-Bird is convinced
that Lex thinks kelly voted against him. Kim is trying to win kelly over
to their side, but Kelly isn't swayed: "Yeah, sure, Lex bugs the
everloving crap out of me, but it would be soooo unimaginably stupid to go
against my tribe right now, seeing as we have the numbers to get rid of all
the Samburans one by one and they can't do anything about it. Why mess
with a good thing?" Kelly does give them props for throwing their votes at
Lex though, and chooses not to warn him of the plan against him...

Immunity challenge--no poem! My universe is crumbling!!!!!

It's a memory game. Frank and the Kim's are out first. Then Kelly and
T-bird, then Lex. Brandon, Frank and Ethan remain. When Jeff praises
Brandon's work, he shamelessly flirts with Mr. Probst, who looks
*uncomforable.* Ethan wins the immunity he doesn't need, seeming very
Colbyesque at this point. Remember Ethan, in the past, the person that has
won the most challenges: Kelly in season one and Colby in season 2 were
runners-up for the big prize. However, I suppose you have to try and get
it, if for no other reason than to keep it away from the person you WANT to
vote out. Had Kelly won immunity, Brandon or Frank would be out of there.
Then maybe Lex would have cooled off, and Kelly could have straightened
things out with him. That would have been so....

Boring :D

Ethan makes breakfast with his nerdy glasses on, sigh...Meanwhile, Brandon
plays Iago to OthelLex, whispering that Kelly has been untrue! Lex is
wild-eyed by this time, and takes Tom out to the field for what will go
down in Survivor history as:

"The Meeting of the Minds"

One mind diseased with paranoia and self-adoration, the other...just a few
Mountain Dews short of a reward challenge picnic. Lex tells Tom what
Brandon "overheard," namely, that Kelly has gone over to the other side.
"My worst fears have been realized," he laments, "I've been betrayed by one
of my own! I suppose it happens to all great leaders eventually, but it is
still so FREAKING UNCOOL!" Because, let's get this straight people, Lex
believes this because he WANTS to believe it. Kelly doesn't kiss his
tattooed ass, therefore the *only* possible explanation is, she's plotting
against him, and thus, must be punished immediately. Tom tells us, "We
hain't got no concrete proof, bet all inications sure do point a' Kelly. I
hayt tuh goh agin' one of my own, but ah'd rathu do that then think fer
mysef!" Lex goes on to say, "I have decreed that Brandon shall be fifth to
go out , in place of Kelly. Fifth from the top--meaning, fifth down from
me." Like this is some great honor that Lex has the power to bestow. "You
know my gut is good, " Lex reminds Tom, who can't argue with that, "I
reckon his gut's sure nuff smarter'n mah head, I tell you wut! I'll sure
feel bad iffn' I fahnd out we's wrung about Kelly." Then, when Tom can't
figure out how the voting will come down, Lex helps him count to five.

Kelly asks Lex who they are all going to vote for, and Lex--so enamored
with his code of honor, doesn't straight out accuse her of voting for him.
He is very vague, mumbling something about, "If the votes splinter, so be
it. I couldn't find out who cast that one insignificant vote against me,
so now I don't care what happens." Which tells Kelly he IS voting against
her. Which sends her spinning off to Samburu to VOTE FOR HIM. He creates
the whole situation in his head--a self-fulfilling prophesy. This like an
aesop's fable come to life--or at least a moralizing episode of "The
Twilight Zone." If he wasn't such an idiot, he'd tell her they were voting
for Frank or something, which would protect him from being ousted if
Brandon turned. But Brandon *must* be trust worthy because Brandon has
been bowing to the god of Lex. And Lex *honestly* doesn't even consider
that he's getting lots of votes from the others tonight, I bet. Actually,
he's not even considering what anyone else is going to do. Nothing is more
important than Lexie's widdle feelings. Voting for Kelly will make the
voices go away, at least for a little while...

There's a scene in "Return of the Jedi," where Luke warns the Emperor,
"Your overconfidence is your weakness." and The Emperor sneers back, "Your
faith in your friends is yours!" Which is very Survivor-appropriate, as
both can cost you the game.

Kelly tells Lil Kim she's voting for Lex with Samburu. Kim is stoked, and
assures her that if the Samburu plan changes, she'll be notified. Lil Kim
is growing on me. Lil Kim tells T-Bird that Kelly's with them, and they
share a patented and copyrighted Survivor "Can I TRUST you?!" moment. Lil
Kim pick's up a leaf, which blows away to symbolize the ever-changing
nature of the game. Brandon realizes he has the power to decide who
leaves: Kelly or Lex.

At tribal council, Jeff calls attention to Ethan's dominance in the
challenges, and he does his, "Aw shucks, I'm just so grateful to have the
opportunity to experience Africa" thing. Jeff asks Tom about the gossiping
that went on in Ethan and Lord Lex's absence. Tom says "everwun wuhs
talkin a everun else, runnin arown' lek cheekin's wih thar hayds cut off."
Since we only saw Teresa talking to Brandon and Lil Kim, one wonders what
CBS is hiding from us--I'd guess plenty. Jeff wonders if Lex was surprised
by the votes cast against him, and Lex says, "Well, of course I was! Look
at me, what's not to love? Getting those two votes made me so angry. I
decided to make it my mission to show everyone at MotoMaji what a crazy,
paranoid, vulnerable, distracted and easily-manipulated tool I really am."
Then Jeff makes fun of Lex, "Everyone here always says that getting votes
is part of the game, it isn't personal--isn't that what you told Clarence?
And I've seen oodles of players handle getting votes it with indifference,
maturity, and calm. But you, the self-appointed King of Cooltown, turned
into a big baby about it--what gives?" Everyone shares a laugh at Lex's
expense. Lex shrugs, "Redressing this minor slight against me is much more
important than the big picture, Jeff," he snarls.

Lex is Richard Nixon. The VAST majority of America votes him in to office
by a landslide, and he blows it by becoming obsessed with his enemies--who
were powerless to defeat him. Only he could do that.

The vote: Lex has his crazy-eyes glaring as he proudly votes out the one
who he is sure betrayed him, "If I'm wrong, sorry, but my gut is telling me
you're a rat." I'd trust Tom's buttcrack over Lex's gut any day of the
week and twice on Survivor Thursday. kelly votes for Lex, and signs her
name to it, "I hate you Lex, always have, always will." Brandon votes for
Kelly, "Let's face it, this isn't the first time I've played both
sides--just ask my ex-wife!" Kelly is ousted 5-4. Jeff looks at the
remaining eight, "I'm very disappointed in you, go back to your camp of
SHAME!"

Some thoughts. Voting out Clarence only made sense to me because they had
a 6-4 advantage--getting rid of him didn't hurt them. Now, it's a
monumental blunder, as is this decision. Even if Boron *knew for a fact*
that Kelly had voted for Lex, they should have waited to get rid of her
until next week, having ousted Frank or whoever. Instead, they have now
created a scenario in which the now vote-drenched Lex is susceptible to
being eliminated with a tie vote. Colby and Tina hated Jerri's guts, but
waited until week 9 to get rid of her, because they need her to vote their
way.

Brandon went from hero to zero in this one: His manipulation of Lex was
genius, and, in the context of helping Samburu survive--almost noble. But
then he reverts to being a brainless slug. Does he really think he has
more cache with Boron then with Samburu? To Boron, he is only a pawn to be
used to eliminate his tribesmen--they'll keep T-bird longer than they will
him. T-bird is loyal. To Boron, Brandon is a married guy they had a fling
with--all they really know about him for sure is: he'll cheat on his wife.
Now, he's lost even Lil Kim's respect. Badly played, Brandon. You could
have even won Frank over by axing Lex.

Old Kim and Ethan. The omission of any scenes with Old Kim and Ethan
discussing Kelly's "betrayal" or their votes, is glaring. Something's
afoot here. I've lost some respect for them here, but look at it this way:
going into the vote they know that Lex is getting four votes, and Kelly's
getting three--no matter what happens, it's a member of Boron that's going
out. Lex and Tom's stupidity pact has assured that. So, they have to vote
out Kelly--Lex is loyal to them, and he's arranged it so that Kelly is
effectively a member of old Samburu.

Next week, one of four things happens: 1) Brandon sides with Old Boron
(perhaps having gotten immunity), eliminating Frank. 2) Boron tricks
Brandon: they all vote for him, he votes for Frank, Samburu votes for Lex,
Brandon's out. 3) Brandon rejoins Samburu, and votes out Lex--this is the
smartest thing he could do. He will last longer. If he helps Boron oust
Frank, they will oust him the week after, almost guaranteed if he returns
to Samburu, they will get rid of Lex, Tom and maybe even Ethan, if they
can, before they get rid of him. 4) Lex wins immunity, Brandon still
rejoins Samburu, and they vote out Tom, who has at least three votes and is
also vulnerable in a tie. Old Kim floats under the radar in almost all
scenarios--ALA Rodger.

I'm pulling hard for the evil Lex being ousted, and it's not *just* wishful
thinking and here's why. Teresa can ruin Brandon's friendship with Lex by
revealing that she voted for Lex, turning him against Brandon, giving him
no choice *but* to vote with Samburu, to save his own skin. Just a
thought. Either way, i don't see Lex or Brandon winning the whole bag of
Doritos--stupid people just don't win "Survivor!"

Two weeks ago, most of you were disturbed the most by Silas's college
credentials. This week's questions:

Lex will try to cash in on his "Survivor" fame by re-naming his band:

A) MotoMaji
B) Uberspoon!
C) The Gut-Trusters
D) Lex Van and the Immunity Idols

Fasten your seatbelts, next week is gonna rock!
Peace, Christine ;)

..
All indications being: Lex says so.