Survivor 3.10--nothing much to write from home about....

Well, I can't honestly complain about any episode in which Jeff Probst
tells us a story and Ethan takes a shower, but I thought this one was kinda
boring. Frank was an obvious choice to vote out, and there really wasn't a
lot of talking in this one. So, I'll be (relatively) brief! :)

The show opens with the fall-out of Brandon's ouster. Lex plays it cool,
pretending not to be freaked out over the fact that his alliance didn't do
what he wanted, "I was mildly bummed. Brandon was a friend." I'm as
perplexed by this as the other members of Boron--when exactly did this
friendship develop? I guess either CBS left in on the cutting room floor
or Lex is imagining it. Lex goes to Old Kim (Jeff called her KJ, which is
nicer than Old Kim, but it's to late in the game for this old dog to learn
a new trick, sorry OK) and confirms that they're "still solid, right?" She
nods, but there's some grumbling behind Lex's back. Ethan says that Lex
has pushed their friendship to its limit by trying to enlist his own
personal insurance policy instead of trusting the alliance they'd worked
out since day one. Lex did Tom wrong by trying to protect Brandon instead
of Tom. Lex comes of like an moron once again when he raves, "We have an
advantage in numbers, so everything's FINALLY going our way." But a) they
could have had the number advantage days ago had they ousted a Samburuan
instead of Kelly and b) he's including Brandon, his "trusted ally" as a
member of the other team even though he told Boron Brandon was one of them.

Old Kim listens to Ethan wonder how Lex could give his word to Brandon, and
let it supersede his word to Tom and the rest of them. OK looks me square
in the eye and says, "See Christine, I *know* I'm number four, but I'm
trying to move up to three, all right? I'm not stupid!" Sorry OK, and
best of luck to ya! Lil Kim tells us she's kinda sad to have voted for
Brandon, but it had to be done.

Lil Kim pulls the 2am to 4am night watch shift (do they have an alarm
clock?) and she and Ethan listen intently at a lion prowling around the
camp looking for a chicken perhaps? Or a Lil Kim? Jeopardy or no, I'd do
all sorts of chore trading to have Ethan protect *me* from a lion in the
dead of night, and then (sigh) tease me about it. Ethan's just so neat.

Then we have a rather long, traditional Survivor: Everyone's weak, starving
and sickly interlude. Lex says it's O.K. to admit you're weak and hungry,
so long as everyone is, like he needs to defend his masculinity somehow.
Yes Lex, you aren't eating, WE KNOW. He thinks he's so interesting as he
tells us "We're only eating like, a couple hundred calories a day! Has
anyone triumphed over suffering like MotoMaji? Ever in the history of
mankind?!" Lil Kim says, "This is the corn meal we have to eat--or as wee
at Motomaji call it, "Maize." Old Kim's legs are all spongy and pliable
and gross. I'm still disturbed by that--she was like an "X-File." Tom had
tons of weight to lose, and is looking pretty good.

Tom and Ethan discuss Lex and the lions. I seriously thought so, anyway,
until I realized that Tom was saying *alliance.* Sure sounded like
*Lions.* Ethan reveals that he wanted to win Survivor all by his lonesome
without being in an alliance, but quickly learned that was impossible. Yes
girls, he's humble and adaptable too. Tom feels betrayed by Lex's throwing
him over for Brandon. Let's hope *that* wound continues to fester. Ethan
says he knows Tom is loyal to him and Old Kim, but doesn't think Big Tom
and forgive and forget. Yay :D

Reward poem.

Here's a hand-made toy
It doesn't mean a dang thing
We thought it was cool

Jeff tells them it's time for the Survivor reward auction--where everyone
wins! And everyone does. Everyone gets some yum yums. Tom and Ethan
pool their money for the final mystery meal, which is a pancake breakfast.
He crows with delight over the fact that Ethan, a kosher Jew, won't eat the
bacon. I watched this episode twice, and did not hear Tommy refer to Tom
as "Jew boy," but he apparently did because he apologizes later and Ethan
says he wasn't hurt by it--that's just lovable Big Bear! I hope my love
of bacon won't keep me and Ethan apart...

Afterwards, it's time for another Lexture, as Lex reads way to much into
the auction and decides that everyone is paired off with a bestest buddy
except for Lil Kim, and watching everyone wheel and deal was sooooo
fascinating in terms of THE GAME. It was pretty boring, I thought.
Everyone ate something, everyone won. Though I did think Old Kim and
Ethan toyed a bit too much with T-bird, who came off looking kind of whiny
when OK let Ethan outbid her for the chicken she initially offered to sell
to T-bird, and Old Kim looked kinda harsh by turning into an auction
instead of honoring her initial offer to sell one piece of chicken and a
bite of potatoes for x amount of shillings--it's *not* like they got to
keep the money or anything. The money didn't do Old kim any good--she
didn't buy anything else!

Old Kim's luxury item are the gift that keep on giving, as they've
fashioned a checkerboard and painted rocks as the pieces. That's cool.
Then we have this whole montage about how everyone suspects that Big Tom
isn't as stupid as he lets on--after all he IS a great Checkers player!
This theory seems shot to hell in a few minutes when he can't remember a
damn bit of Jeff's story in the immunity challenge--unless that too is an
act...nah. Lex assures us that, "I knew Big Tom was smart Waaaay before
anyone else did. I pretty much started that trend." Doesn't Lex seem like
a surfer-goon who should be hassling Keanu Reeves in "Point Break"?

A herd of Zebras rumbles by. the animals are so cool this season. It's
cool that we see our little Survivors interacting with them. In Australia,
it was all inserts. Of course, the only time an animal got within 200
yards of camp Michael killed it, so maybe it's all for the better.

Then we have the shower interlude. Big Tom worshes everun ewf. The camera
gets an eyeful of Ethan's lanky body, and despite the lack of food, his
arms are still very powerful. Sigh. He intrigues us further by saying he
doesn't really worry about anyone watching him change clothes. Even his
talking about farting just makes him seem down to earth! Lil Kim tells us
she's not body conscience either--easy to say when you obviously got your
whole body waxed before you went to Africa. Tom has a good ol' time
pouring water down Kim's suit. Lex does his share of ogling too, though he
puts it all on Tom. It's a big "We are Family" lovefest at the bathing
hole.

Immunity challenge. jeff tells them a story, and they have to answer
questions correctly, smash an egg that corresponds to the right answer, get
apiece of leather band tie to a staff. I tease Big Tom, but it was harder
than the ones I remember before this. The smashed eggs are "magically';
replaced by the ever-present but always unseen Survivor production crew.
Tom struggles, Frank comes close...but Lex wins. :( I hate in when Lex is
happy.

A really pretty moonset/sunrise scene. CBS decides not to give us anything
to wonder about, and we get a major foreshadowing moment as Frank tells us
how much he loves being out her, "I love being outdoors and I love Africa.
I love the smell, I love the sun, I love the zebras. I love the lions, the
monkeys and the zebras. I love tending the fire and feeding the chickens.
I love taking walks and sleeping underneath the stars. And, yeah, I guess
the people are OK sometimes." Then at lunch, Frank goes off on a pro-NRA
rant, talking about those freakin' liberals blah blah blah. Man this
episode had sex, politics AND religion, and still manages to be the dullest
one yet--how'd that happen? T-Bird hurts for Frank, sorrowful that he
probably put the final nail in his coffin. Frankly...hee hee...frankly, I
think Frank knew what he was doing. he knew he was near the top of the
list, so why not mouth off? I also suspect it was his final gift to
Teresa. I think he was making sure T-Bird stayed at least a few more days
in Africa, I really do.

Plucky T-Bird isn't going out without a fight, sho nuff! Lil Kim explains,
"It's a cool idea for T-bird to try and save us by lobbying Kim away form
the boys. However, in my final tribute to my departed necklace pals, I'm
gonna sit over here and do nothing to help my own cause. Go T-bird!"
Teresa tries to get Old Kim to flip on Ethan, to break up the boys club and
install the all-girl alliance I was pushing for last week, but it *really*
rubs Old Kim the wrong way. Teresa's valid argument for targeting ethan
is, "He's absolutely perfect. He's smart, sweet, athletic, caring, witty,
interesting--well you get the idea. Who's gonna stand a chance against him
in the the vote?" Old Kim isn't pleased, complaining, "Yes, I'm number
four who the boys plan on eliminating eventually--but it was bad form on
Teresa's part to actually draw attention to it!" When she speculates that
T-bird would vote her out in favor of Frank, Teresa vows that her "loyalty"
would be to Old Kim, which is kind of Lexish, I hate to say. She's either
lying to Old Kim, or promising to eliminate Frank. Odd. I liked Teresa's
choice of Kim as the one to lobby, I liked the "We are women, here us roar"
angle, I even agreed with her reasons for choosing Ethan to gun for. But
as soon as she said, "I'd pledge my loyalty to you, oh mighty Kim!" I just
cringed. It was an announcement of weakness. It made her seem too
desperate. Kim goes straight to Ethan with the plan, declaring herself
"shocked and pissed," that T-bird would think she'd sell out the boys, and
that the boys have no loyalty to her. Ethan rises to new levels of
perfection and grace when he reminds Old Kim that Teresa is desperate to
survive in the game and has every right to make that happen however she
can--even if it involves trying to oust him. It is a game. Old Kim is
being pretty shrewd here--she let's Ethan know that another company has
expressed interest in her--maybe she'll get a raise? She certainly
*deserves* to pass up Lex on the depth chart, but again, I fear Ethan wants
to go in with Lex to win the game. Old Kim tells us she can't turn on
Ethan now. I hope it's significant that she didn't mention Tom or
Lex...Old Kim tells Teresa she won't be voting for Ethan, and T-bird thanks
her for giving her the heads up so they can do something else. Old Kim
kinda turned a shade of green, realizing she may have just lost T-bird and
Lil Kim's jury votes.

Tribal Council. Brandon arrives, clean-shaven and dressed for an evening
of clubbing. He and Kelly both sashay to their seats like they're prowling
across a catwalk in Milan. Jeff does the hardsell on "How can you get rid
of someone and then ask them to vote for you." But, this is made into to
big a deal if you ask me. In past seasons, many people vote for the person
they feel was MOST responsible for their ouster, because that's how you
play the game. Also, you can't abstain. You have to pick one of two
people, and you are *probably* gonna feel a little betrayed or annoyed at
both of them. Teresa and Ethan both argue that their actions leading up to
the vote, not the vote itself, should help them out. Ethan looked a little
doubtful when T-Bird talked about playing as honestly as you can, but he
can't throw stones in that department. He's done his share of plotting,
they all have. When Jeff asks Lex if the game is gonna get ugly, he says,
"Well, it's already gotten ugly--remember when I got that one vote?! And
then the week after that I got, like, three more!! That sucked!!" He
doesn't mention his gut, but it's always there, watching, like the silent
jury. When Jeff asks Frank about old tribal lines, Frank makes a
half-hearted attempt to become a member of the new Motomaji tribe, but his
anti-social behavior has already painted the target in indelible ink. Jeff
actually has to remind everyone, "You can't vote for Lex, I'm sorry!"
Since no one is voting for Lex, they all have something nice to say. We
don't see what Lex said, but it was probably a re-run from last week. Lil
Kim violates the "necklace code" by praising Frank as someone she's learned
from and enjoyed spending time with. T-Bird cries as she writes Frank's
name, and kisses the ballot goodbye. These are the first *real* tears at
tribal council I can remember in a long time...I don't count the slugs
crying over Lindsay's ouster. Teresa was smart here though. She doesn't
tip her hand or antagonize anyone by voting for anyone she *knows* is
staying. Frank was done fore, Old Kim told her so. Although Kim a)
doesn't know that T-Bird didn't vote for her and b)doesn't know that all
the hidden votes were for Frank. That *might* help T-Bird because Old Kim
may feel more vulnerable than she is...Or she may feel angry and stop
listening to T all together. Anyway, Frank is eliminated 6-1. Kelly and
Brandon don't look all that pleased to have Frank joining them at the
hotel. Frank gives a very moving goodbye speech, pleding his unfailing
devotion and love and support to his wife and little daughters--I don't
care what the brats say, Frank doesn't *seem* like someone who wouldn't
vote for a woman. I think if T-Bird or even Lil Kim wound up at the end,
he'd support them. Frank goes out in the same position as smooth-talking
Gervase and...oh, I'm drawing a blank here...some guy named Nick, remember?
Black guy? Lawyer? Yeah, me neither, still.

Next week, the weepy "letters from home" episode. Lex's crying *will not*
win me over!

Couple of things. next week, we lose Lex, Lil Kim or T-bird. I honestly
think the best think Old kim could do for herself is side with the girls
this week only, to eliminate Lex. That way, she becomes three outright.
She shows Tom and Ethan that *she* has the power, not them. They have to
protect her or she'll side with the girls again to oust them. Lex will
only know it was one of them who sold him out, he won't know who, and with
his "unfailing" gut to guide him, he'll probably guess wrong.

That's what I'd want to happen. I think what's most likely though, is
T-bird gets axed. She crossed a line with Old Kim, not by asking her to
join Samburu, but by seeming so pathetic and unstable when she did it.
Ethan also knows T-Bird isn't bewitched by his curly locks like me---I
mean, like the Kims. I think they'll oust her before Lil Kim, she's less
threatening. If T-bird wins immunity, they can still target Lil Kim and
gun for T-bird next time.

In summation, rooting for Lex, but expecting T-bird. Time will tell.
Happy Holidays, peace, Christine :)