X-Files 8.19 The Dogg stands "Alone"

There were some cute touches to this episode, that were kind of nice, but I
kinda resented them too. Essentially, Dogg is teamed with a partner who is
a fan of the X-files. One of us.

I'm stunned she survived the episode.

The show begins with an old man in a wheelchair fretting about whether his
son has locked all the doors and windows. His son is kinda pissed about
having to look after his dad. He says, "yeah, yeah, checked the locks" and
goes in the other room to heat up some dinner. Dad is attacked by a venom
spewing monster, son investigates the noise and is also attacked. Eeek.
If they think the jump-cut into close-up is still working, they are
deluding themselves. The old man's fear SEEMED to me to indicate he knew
about the monster, but...that never pans out does it?

Back at the Bureau, Scully is cleaning out her desk, where she finds all
sorts of talismans to the good ol' days: poor, departed QueeQueg's dog tag
(Season Three:Clyde Bruckman, War of the Coprophages, Quagmire), the fused
coins from Season 6's "they don't remember but we do" Dreamland
two-parter. She also finds the Apollo 11 keychain that Mulder gave her for
her birthday in Season 4's "Tempus Fugit" and explained in "Max" as a
symbol of teamwork, partnership, etc. She passes it on to Dogg in another
"the torch has been passed to a new generation of X-Files. Created in this
Millennium" moment. She gets all mushy about "all they've been through and
hugs him goodbye, as she has to go on what I swear she called "maternily"
leave. I played it over and over and it kept sounding wrong.

It would have been nice if, like "Somewhere in Time" when she touched these
items from better seasons she would be suddenly better written.

Scully keeps "saying" she and Dogg are close, but they never actually gave
us scenes of them just being human together. Yeah, he saved his life,
yeah, she saved his. But Mulder and Scully's relationship was built on
humor, vulnerability and friendship established in rental cars, airplane
terminals, motel rooms. They never let us learn about Dogg THROUGH Scully,
and he still doesn't really know her. I'm done no-prizing for these guys,
if it didn't happen on-camera, it didn't happen!!

Dogg asks Scully if she's coming back, and she gives her standard season 8
answer: she smiles enigmatically and walks away without a word. Are we
sure the writers didn't go on strike, Scully's sure have.

Let's not even talk about Dogg starting a conversation, thinking he's
talking to Scully because he hasn't bothered to turn around and see who's
walked in the door, only to be embarrassed when it's his new partner.
Lame. Also lame, Dogg is so stunned and bummed to have a new partner. His
partner is going on maternity leave...duh, of course he'd get a new
partner. DUH!!

The partner, Layla Harrison is very eager to please, very enthusiastic,
very green (yes, it DOES sound like Mulder's temp partner Alex "ratboy"
Krycek, but the similarities end there). She has no field experience.
They go up to where the old guy and his son were slimed. Dad's body has
been found and taken to DC for autopsy. The son is missing and considered
a suspect, but Dogg doesn't buy it, what with all the slime lying around.
Layla is totally psyched that this is a real-life X-File. Dogg tells her
Kersh hates the X-Files and is probably using her.

Layla reveals that she used to be in accounting and she used to process
Mulder and Scully's travel reports (I know the FBI hires accountants as
agents, but do FBI agents work as accountants within the FBI?). She knows
all their cases by heart and is something of a groupie, it turns out. She
brings up the liver-eating mutant from season one's "Tooms" and
skin-shedding aliens from...uh, believe it or not, she got me there. If
anyone remembers, let me know, I'll pass it along.

Meanwhile, on the more interesting show we only get to glimpse for ten
minuets an episode, Mulder and Scully, the people we actually care about
are on their way to...somewhere, maybe an OBGYN appt. Mulder is so cute in
a gray sweater over white T-shirt. When she inquires about his knowledge
about baby matters, he tells her that since he is now unemployed, he
watches a lot of Oprah. Then she tells him she feels strange, and he says
something along the lines of "about having a baby even though it's
medically impossible and you're a doctor, and a skeptic, and you've
already HAD an alien-hybrid baby who you didn't raise but you had to watch
her die?? THAT??" And she says, "Oh, pshaw, don't be silly, I'm worried
about leaving poor puppydogg alone in the big bad X-Files." ZUH?

And what exactly IS the dynamic between Mulder and Scully these days
anyway? Carter is giving us all these scenes of them as a defacto family,
with none of the emotional payoff. And why aren't we seeing Scully's FEARS
raised about what/who is in her body? Why can't we have that
conversation?? All year, Carter has been skirting around the issue like a
talentless coward hack.

This show never was that good at answers,, but at least they were brilliant
and brave about asking all the damn questions.

The show is, naturally, overscored. I think Mark Snow gets paid by the
note these days. Dogg is creeping around someone's office. It's the
office of a scientist, who has all these articles and books about evolution
and reptiles (hint hint). In retrospect, I'm really curious as to how Dogg
got in what we later learn is the bad guy's house. Who let him in? Dogg
followed the slime/drag trail to the house--is that just cause to enter
without a warrant? Maybe. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt.

Dogg senses the mutant staring at him, but almost shoots Harrison who
sneaks up on him. She reveals that she did the same thing he did--followed
the trail (Dogg proves himself worthy of heading the X-Files in one
regard--he's ditched his partner). Harrison is spooked and he tells her to
wait outside the door so she can shoot the creature if it comes outside.
He has to instruct the shaky Layla to remove the safety from her gun--did
she graduate from the FBI Academy or not? Green is one thing, but if she's
an FBI agent, she would be good with er weapon and qualified to use it.
She'd have to prove that qualification regularly. Scared, I'll buy, but
incompetent...that ticks me off. Anyway, Dogg is either a complete idiot
for intentionally flushing the beast towards an agent who he's not
confident in, or a complete idiot for, in trying to protect Layla, putting
her in the path of the beast. The creature runs out the front door and
slimes poor Layla. When Dogg responds to her gun shots, Layla is gone. He
follows the slime trail and falls through a trap door.

Two agents are now missing and Skinner is leading the search as sops and
FBI agents comb the woods looking for the pair. Scully is on the phone,
frantic about Dogg. When Skinner tells her he's got it under control,
Scully practically scoffs at his ability to do anything right. Again, why
have they ruined Skinner? Why does he have to be this pathetic jerk? Why
cant he at least help save the day here?

Dogg wakes up in a tunnel.

Scully does the autopsy on the old man. Mulder appears. He claims to have
slipped away from his tour. Considering the bang-up job the FBI's done in
the last few years:false accusations, Soviet spies, missing files, I find
the idea that a FIRED and potentially disgruntled former employee can just
leave a tour group and wander in restricted areas. Okay, not really.
Scully tells him she's found a combination of venom and bacteria in the
man's system. When Mulder raises concern about Scully exposing her unborn
baby to this mystery contaminant (as she did the week before) Scully shrugs
it off.

Gillian does her little facial tick thing, where she blinks with only one
eye. It's not winking, it's a one eyed blink. Maybe Scully's been an
alien all this time. Anyway, Scully insists that she and Mulder are the
only people in the universe qualified to help Dogg solve the X-File and
find the truth.

Dogg finds some gross animal remains and hears freaky noises. He gets
slimed and his vision gets blurry, but the creatures doesn't attack him any
further. Layla and Gary (the missing son of the dead man) are also in the
tunnel. Gary is paralyzed and in bad shape--not even seemingly conscious.
Layla can barely see at all. Dogg speculates that the trap door is part of
a scheme to give the mutant food. So the mutant has human help. He thinks
there must be a way out: "Bootlegguh's built dese tunnels."

Mulder shows up at the scene and Skinner tells him to get lost as he's a
civilian. Mulder laughs at Skinner's authority and walks into the woods.
Couldn't Skinner arrest him for interfering with an FBI investigation?
Mulder is wearing a dark blue shirt and a black...windbreaker/canvas
jacket. Either way, nice.

Dogg climbs up a tunnel up to a grate.

Mulder pokes around the grounds where Dogg and Layla were last and is
confronted by a very arrogant man named Herman Stites, a biologist who has
I AM A MAD SCIENTIST WHO CREATED THIS KILLING MACHINE tattooed on his
forehead. Mulder tells Stites he thinks a giant reptile is responsible for
the killings, which Stites maintains is impossible. He wants Mulder (who
has identified himself as Agt. Kersh) off his property. Mulder leaves,
carrying the Apollo 11 keychain he found near the tarp door (very poorly
hidden, I thought, though Mulder didn't notice it.)

Dogg manages to remove the grate and calls for help. Stites walks over,
steps on Dogg's hand and puts the grate back on. Dogg falls a good...30-5-
feet and lands on his back, but is not harmed at all. Dogg tells Layla
about all the papuhs he was looking at in the office before he saw the
reptile mutant. He assumes the guy who stepped on hi hand is Stites, a
scientist who probably created this monster. Scully invokes the names of
Mulder and Scully and their previous cases and Dogg snaps "Mulder and
Scully aren't here!!"

Yeah, don't we know it.

Gary is gone. his clothes are all that's left. Dogg and Layla are
concerned.

Scully calls Mulder, who s staking out Stites house eating sunflower
seeds--another talisman of X-Files past. They keep throwing us the props,
the symbols, when what we miss and need are the emotions, the issues, the
characters. Scully tells him that Skinner is furious at Mulder for
impersonating Kersh. this is odd because she practically ordered Mulder to
do exactly what he is doing--investigating the X-File and trying to find
Dept. Dogg. Scully insists that they are dealing with a reptilian
creature, Mulder insists it's man using venom to disable his prey. This
pointless "argument" shows how little Spotnitz (who wrote this one) and
Carter understand their own characters. They feel the two HAVE to
disagree, even though they are essentially the B story and it's been
established that Scully believes SOME things and Mulder believes MOST
things. They never establish AT ALL why Mulder thinks there's NO creature
involvement here. It's a sad attempt to recapture the old days.

Scully finds out from an FBI scientist that the venom breaks down tissue.
The creature spits its venom, the victim goes blind, then all its tissues
go to mush. The creature then drinks all the insides and tosses the
hardened shell like an aluminum can.

Layla apologizes to Dogg for sucking as a partner, then she goes totally
blind. They find Sach's shell. Ewww.

Scully tells Mulder her findings, and that Stites was published in a
Science journal. He claimed he could and would create a new reptile
creature. Then Mulder see it crawling around and gives chase EVEN THOUGH
HE IS UNARMED. He pounds on the door, and we learn that Stites isn't just
the creator of the reptile creature, he's also a client. I didn't see it
coming, that Stites IS the mutant, but it wasn't a huge shock. EIGHT YEARS
of monsters, how do they really expect to surprise us ever again?

Mulder tells Stites the creature is outside and he need him to help which
makes NO SENSE. He actually says, "I know you never intended for this
thing to hurt anybody." Why would he assume that or say that?? He
suspected Stites the second he laid eyes on him.

Dogg and Layla are at the tunnel entrance door, but it won't budge. they
are confused by the how the creature is coming and going, as this is "the
only entrance" besides the trapdoor and the grate. How two BLIND people
could say this with any certainly is beyond me.

Stites leads Mulder to the tunnel entrance, where they find the Dogg and
Layla. Dogg thinks Stites is in on it (DUH) and Layla makes the leap that
Stites IS the mutant. Stites becomes the mutant and is going to spray
Mulder. Mulder tells Dogg he has no weapon and tells Dogg to shoot it.
Dogg is blind, so Mulder tells him to shoot at the sound of his voice,
which makes Dogg very nervous, but he does. There's a moment where Dogg
frets that he's killed Mulder but he's only shot the mutant. The now
shot-dead mutant turns into the very human Stites, but only Mulder can see
it. Since Layla made the discovery before Mulder did, that's hardly
significant, though Mulder looks at them like "Of course, I'm the only one
who see this for my own eyes." If Layla HAD been able to see it, she
probably would have said, "This EXACT same thing happened back in 1994 when
you and agent Scully investigated that werewolf on the Indian Reservation!"
(Season 1 "Shapes")

Dogg encounters Mulder and Scully at the hospital and wrongly assumes it's
time for the baby, "Oh, no, Dogg. this is the coda for the monster story.
The delivery is for the finale." They're hear to see Harrison, who's
making a nice recovery, though she's off the X-Files. Her choice, Dogg
insists. I actually liked Harrison A LOT better than Smiley Moonbeam, but
what do I know? I think she'd make a cute sidekick for Dogg. Dogg credits
her recovery to the same "anti-venon" treatment he got. Not Venom, Venon.
What they couldn't even fix it in looping? He says he's gonna be
partnerless for awhile, which I don't buy. Cops have partners for safety
reasons. But Carter and Spotnitz are so enamored with tough guy Dogg,
going it alone, they say to hell with realism. This is a scifi show, but
the beauty of it WAS how realistic the investigation, the process, the
system was.

Mulder, in yet another passing the torch/blessing scene, gives Dogg the
Apollo keychain, and he's touched but wants to give it to Harrison, who's
all, "No WAY, this is, like, so awesome!" She's hella stoked to be meeting
her heroes, Mulder and Scully and asks a question--actually a funny one.
One of the big nitpicks of the X-Files feature film is the fact that, at
the end, Mulder is in Antarctica. His snowcat runs out of gas and he gets
to the installation anyway, finds Scully, they escape, the spaceship takes
off and they are left in the snow with nothing. No vehicle, and his
snowcat is a out of gas. How did they get rescued? It was funny having
Layla ask this, as was the very cute dispute Mulder and Scully have when
Scully tells Layla that they aren't sure it was a spaceship, she was
Unconscious "something" took off, etc. and Mulder is incredulous at
Scully's Sculliness. It was a sweet scene, and funny that they didn't
actually bother to answer it ( I assumed Mulder had a radio or something in
the snowcat and called for help, I dunno.)

And Dogg watches this, the outsider, and then he stalks down the hall
ALONE. I was surprised they didn't have him hop on a motorcycle and ride
off as the end credits ran to Bob Segar's "Roll Me Away" or Neil Diamond's
"Solitary Man." Geezo.

This episode was weak. Do they really think they have another year of
monster stories in them? Even if the case are new to Dogg and Moonbeam,
they won't be new to us.

Have a good week. I will watch and review part one of the finale
shortly--but I refuse to pray for Scully's baby, Fox Promo department.
You're just a television show! Christine :)

X-Files 8.18 "Vienen"

Yeah, yeah, two weeks behind. And I don't even have a job to blame it on!
I am just that unenthused by X-Files these days! I will watch and review
8.19 & 8.20 this week--I promise!

In case it has slipped your mind, 8.18 was the one on the oil rig. I
thought the location was pretty cool and there were elements to the story
that worked, but, all in all, it was more confusing than anything else.
The show has spent so much time forgetting about the mythology--dumping
Mulder's sister, ignoring Mulder's abduction and STILL BEING COY about
Scully's pregnancy--and now they're suddenly resurrecting things like "the
black oil."

The episode starts with an Hispanic oil rig worker killing the
communications officer and then being nuked by his boss, who is under the
influence of the black oil, we later learn. The scene where all the white
light comes spewing out of the boss was pretty nifty, I thought.

Dogg find's Mulder in his office--Mulder's old office (they keep telling us
mulder isn't on the X-Files, but don't tell us what he's supposed to be
doing--is he working in another department, is he on medical leave, what?)
Mulder's ticked off because he sent Dogg some info about these nuked bodies
that washed up on a Texas beach. There was traces off the black oil in
them, and Mulder thinks this is an X-File. There's also a missing worker,
a Mexican national. Dogg assures Mulder that he's read all about the Black
Oil and the case of the "Piper Maru" (sigh, third season :D )and he still
isn't interested. Mulder is amused by Dogg's lack of enthusiasm for the
"X-Files" and wonders who Dogg pissed off to send him down to the basement.
In the pilot episode, Mulder asked Scully the same thing, but there was
more sexual tension.

Mulder and Dogg are summoned to a meeting with Skinner and Scully and that
mean ol' FBI director Kersh, who...is more like a dictatorial high school
principal than a creepy member of the Conspiracy. He's a jerk, but he
doesn't scare me. Turns out, the oil rig in question is part of a joint
operation between the US and Mexico, drilling in an as-yet-untapped part of
the Gulf of Mexico and the fact that a Mexican national was killed in a US
govt. business venture is a big deal. Kersh is furious that Mulder is the
one who contacted the oil company, bringing the case to the FBI's
attention. Kersh agrees to send Dogg, not Mulder or Scully who's too
pregnant to go. Mulder disses Dogg's ability to approach the case as an
X-File, Dogg doesn't care.

Mulder goes to the oil rig anyway, beating Dogg to his own investigation.
Mulder is talking to Mr. Glowstick, the oil rig boss, who now seems like a
normal oil rig kind of guy. Mulder is wearing a long-sleeved gray shirt,
mmmm. Dogg is wearing a military-green jacket over a black shirt, but who
cares? Glowstick tells the men that folks go crazy out here on an oil rig,
and that the burned dead guy was sabotaging the radio. He also tells them
that "a man can die out here going for a walk." Sounds more like a job for
OSHA than the FBI.

Dogg confront Mulder for stepping on his investigation: "One call to duh
deputy duhrectuh and I can get you canned, Mulduh." He's not looking for
any conspiracy, and tells Mulder that his reputation precedes him: "They
say you can find a conspiracy at church picnic." "Which church?" Mulder
replies. I liked their exchange, but, it's tired. It's the same basic
dynamic as Scully and Mulder (he paranoid, excitable, crusading; she
logical, calm and dutiful) but again, with no real chemistry between the
leads. Starsky and Hutch, they ain't.

Meanwhile, back at the FBI, Scully does indeed find the alien virus in the
dead oil worker--but the virus is dead too. So, lemme get this
straight...its too dangerous for Scully to go to the oil rig, but she can
cut up a dead guy who she SUSPECTS is carrying the very dangerous and
mind-controlling and VERY CONTAGIOUS alien virus???? I know why I don't
care about Scully's baby--she doesn't!!

Actually, this brings me to my major complaint with the whole Scully's baby
story--I am not even remotely invested in this alleged child, are you? I
mean, an eight year old is probably savvy enough to stand back for this and
say, "jeepers, maybe it's an alien monster baby!" And Chris Carter thinks
he's being clever by not having Scully express this fear anymore, even
though she never DID get a straight answer form the sonogram!? Zuh?! And,
let's not forget, Scully doesn't even know how or when she got pregnant.
It's a miracle?? And Scully's cool with that, since freaking when? Even
Mary the Mother of God needed an angel of the Lord to come down and tell
her everything was cool, yet Scully is just peachy, doing her autopsies and
giving these Mona Lisa smiles and no answer whenever anyone inquires about
the paternity/physical impossibility of the "blessed" event? I just don't
buy any of it.

ANYWAY, Scully is now distressed because the alien virus is definitely on
the oil rig. She thinks the rig should be evacuated, but Skinner is to
chicken to go to Kersh, "I'm not gonna tell him, you tell him!" Turning
Skinner from the vaguely menacing, intense, complex boss/accomplice/leash
holder that he was into Mulder and Scully's wimpy, loyal but pathetic pal
is one of the worst things to happen on the show in the last year or two.
From chief to chump.

Back on the rig, the new radio officer complains to Mr Glowstick that he's
getting all kinds of weird interference on the radio. Glowstick gives him
a little black oil, and the new guy is now a black oil zombie (hey, that'd
be a cool name for a band--better than Flickerstick, that's for dang sure.).
Kersh ain't trying to hear about any evacuation of the oil rig. Scully
tries to contact Dogg about the virus threat, and is surprised to get
Mulder on the line, "Fox, you got some 'splaining to do!" I liked when she
chastised him for "flouting orders," it was kinda like old times. Mulder
wants to know why the virus was dead in the dead Mexican guy. Dogg still
doesn't believe in no alien virus, and Mulder gives him one of his "you
can't handle the truth" tirades. Mulder thinks the government is drilling
in Mexican territory or some such. Dogg disagrees, but does what mulder
wants, which is to shut down drilling on the rig.

If you recall, we learned...I think in the movie, that the alien virus came
to earth eons ago, and it's underground and people accidentally have
unearthed it--it has attacked Navy sub crews, deep sea divers (Piper Maru)
and the like. It seeps into people and can seem out of them without
killing them, but it can make people do whatever they want. Mulder and
Krycek have both been infected with it. Just a little black oil
backstory--they gutted the Conspiracy by taking away Samantha, cancerman
and the other important men, and what do they bring back? The black oil.
It's not my fave angle, and I don't' *really* understand it. I mean, is
the virus working in conjunction with the spaceship aliens? the black oil
seem sentient. Whatever.

The oil company doesn't want any kind of Quarantine, and they want to keep
drilling. Kersh is furious at Skinner for authorizing Dogg to shut down
the drilling, and at Scully for performing an un-authorized autopsy. He
implies they should think about posting their resumes on Monster.com.
Someone sets fire to the radio room. It turns out to be Diego, the missing
Mexican worker. He attacks Dogg and holds him prisoner. He cuts Dogg with
a knife, and is relieved to see that Dogg has red-blood--no alien oil in
his veins. Dogg speaks "poco spanish" which is almost as painful as his
english, but he understands what Diego is trying to say--the UFO's are
coming.

Scully has a theory about the dead guy's immunity to the virus. He and
Diego aren't of Spanish decent. Both are from a very small community that
has a purely Indian gene pool. She's fretting about white boys Mulder and
Dogg and their chances for being infected, but the radio isn't working for
her to tell them they're in deep genetic doo doo and need to get off the
rig.

Dogg leaves Diego and is almost oiled by one of the workers. Watching the
oil drip out of the guy's eyes and mouth seems to make Dogg a believer in
the virus. Mulder beats the guy up. No, seriously, not the other way
around. Mulder and Dogg race to the radio room, and Mulder asks him if he
can fix the radio. If Scully had been, there, Mulder would have needed her
to do it. He's cute, but he isn't very useful on the technical end. Nice
theories, though. All the black oil zombies converge on the radio room and
try to bash their way in as Dogg gets though to Texas, "We need a choppuh!"
But they can't land on the rig because of the virus. Mulder realizes that
the radio waves are making the zombies swarm, or something, so he busts the
radio (that's why Diego and his pal kept destroying it). The zombies
vanish.

Dogg goes to get Diego, but he's dead. The zombies took care of him. They
realize that the zombies are now in the process of blowing up the oil rig.
Mulder and Dogg have to jump off the rig as it goes up in flames--a really
cool stunt from sideways camera angle but the blue-screen scene shot
looking up at the actors was terrible and lame.

The US loses the rights drill in the infected oilfield to Mexico. Mulder
FINALLY gets fired for disobeying Kersh. He tells Dogg to fight the good
fight for truth, justice, and the American way. Oooh, now that Mulder has
given Dogg his blessing to investigate the X-Files, count me in for next
season!! >:( How's it even gonna work? Is Dogg gonna believe in the Black
Oil and Reyes is gonna believe in everything else? I just...don't get it.


Next week, two new reviews, I promise! :) Go buy Stevie Nicks new album,
it RULES!!! Christine :D

Survivor Outback Finale

Woo Hoo. That was great--for many reasons, the best being that Rich's
reign is over--in more ways than one.

I got my hair cut on Survivor Thursday, and as I was sitting in the chair
reading a few-weeks-old US Magazine article about "Survivor," I heard Fiona
Apple's Criminal, a song I don't think any of us will ever be able to hear without
thinking of it as "Jerri's theme." In the article, Rich revealed that the
reason we stopped seeing Elisabeth's immunity headdress was that she
volunteered it to Mark Burnett when Colby agreed to give up HIS luxury
item, the Texas flag. I thought that was really sweet. Of course, Rich
sneered at Elisabeth, saying her headdress was stupid, she was an airhead
and why did she even bother--it wasn't going to influence Colby any. Rich,
you just don't get what it means to be friends, to be selfless, to just
genuinely like somebody and do something that feels fair or right or nice.
Rich is such a jerk. And if Colby or Jeff wore a self-made immunity
headdress, I don't think he'd be that hard on them., 'nuff said.

I wondered last week how on earth CBS was going to fill the time in the two
hours with only one immunity challenge and the vote, instead of two
challenges and the vote like last year. Sadly, the first 45 minutes or so
of the three hour finale was a big bore:

"We're hungry. After tonight, one of us is done and the other two are
going to be the final two." "The weather, and the environment has been
such an ordeal." "It all comes down to these last three days." "I can't
believe I've made it this far."

Imagine Colby, Tina and Keith each saying all this 27 times each, and you
have the basic gist of the first half of the show. I dug the pan pipe
music they played, though. Tina relays how she's evolved during the game:
"I began as one of evil Jerri's toadies, but now I'm Bear Monday's queen bee."

CBS had a little arts and crafts time, having the remaining three make
idols to offer to the river. I was stunned that Martha Stewart didn't
teach us how to make OUR OWN Survivor tiki sacrifices to the land on Friday
morning's early show. I didn't see how tossing in something you just made
was any great offering to THE LAND. Personally, all I saw them contribute
was some litter by throwing those things in, but that's probably just that
pesky eurocentric worldview of mine acting up.

We're just so much more savvy than CBS gave us credit for. We know it's
been a long haul--it's also been a *great* show, and spending almost a
third of the special with boooooooring dialogue about what we've already
seen over the last 13 weeks was not a fitting tribute to the show. It was
a waste of time and an insult to those of us who've been watching, and, if
it was meant to inform those who only watched the finale, I think they
probably thought the show was boring and that they hadn't missed anything.
They should have shown more clips of the shocking votes, the rice rescue,
etc., or had the last hour include two immunity challenges like last year.

Keith was still in his combat fantasy, wearing hat with writing scrawled
on the inside, just like the GI's did on their helmets in Viet Nam. He
ACTUALLY said, I am not being cute, "One of us saw the sunset for the very
last time." Er...they aren't gonna kill anyone, Keith. Keith makes
peanut butter and rice cakes and tells Colby and Tina they come "from the
bottom of this chef's heart." Keith is a chef? Wow, how'd I miss that?

Then comes the walk to tribal council, as they walk past the graves of the
slain Survivors, as Keith would have us believe. We get a little montage
for each departed player, and they may as well have
been playing "The Way We Were." I liked how they encountered Jeff sitting
there like Buddha on the mountaintop. "Now, young grasshoppers, to achieve
enlightenment, toss your totems into the water below." That better be
biodegradable paint on those things, CBS.

Keith maintains that he's thrilled to have made it this far and that he's
fairly certain he won't make it into the final two. Immunity is his only
shot. He probably caught how underwhelmed Tina and Colby were at his
outback peanut roundies. Colby expressed regret at not enjoying the
outback more, and Tina admitted at being too independent, practically
calling herself a lousy mother on national TV.

CBS promo: "Don't miss the "Walker: Texas Ranger" you never thought you'd
see!" Gee, that could be any one of them.

Jeff enters Keithland by referring to their totem walk as a "rite of
passage." The final immunity challenge is the "Let's see how well you know
your fellow survivors" quiz. I didn't expect them to do this one as the
last game, so it was pretty cool. Last year, Kelly destroyed the
competition in this game. She got almost e very question right, if I
recall.
Conversely, Sue, Rudy and Rich did terribly and sat there with open
contempt for the challenge, their fellow contestants, and the very idea
that they would give a crap about any of them.

I thought Jeff let Keith get off too easy when he let him by with "Critten"
as Rodger's hometown instead of "Crittenden." But props to him for burning
Keith when he wrote Elisabeth's alma mater as "Boston U" instead of the
correct "Boston College." Critten would have gotten Keith a wrong answer
buzzer on any legitimate game show though--it's a WRONG ANSWER. Colby
wins immunity AGAIN. For all the talk about his physical prowess, Colby
has done great on all the mental challenges as well.

Colby votes out KEITH!! WooooooooooHoooooooooooo. I was beside myself
with joy. I thought Colby did the right thing, and eliminated the
least-worthy contestant. I didn't know the full story of course.

It turns out, Tina and Colby had agreed a long, long time ago to go in with
one another. It was always their goal. While I sat here assuming that
both of them would pick Keith because both were trying to emulate Hatch, I
didn't consider that they had a true bond--not the false bond that Rich
managed to con his way into with Kelly, Sue and Rudy--but a genuine
friendship. Keith never stood a chance without immunity. Richard Hatch is
no authority on ANYTHING, even "Survivor."

Colby and Tina are elated on their way back to camp. They are thrilled to
be without Keith, happily tending the fire without his constant input.
They reveal that they had tried to bring Rodger along instead of Keith but
it wouldn't work--Keith was the only one they could really use. He wasn't
the sharpest tool in the drawer, he was the only one. They laugh with glee
to have him gone. They talk about how they dragged him along this far, but
how glad they are that he won't win the million. It was kind of harsh, and
I loved that on the morning show,
when Bryant Gumbel asked Tina about it, she said 'They were all truths."
Let's face it, the reason most of us never say bad or hurtful or negative
things about our co-workers, friends or even our families is that most of
never go on national television. I was glad she owned everything they said
over there.

It was fun to share in Colby and Tina's happiness, as getting to the final
two was something they did together, unlike last year, when you had the
awkward animosity between Kelly and Rich, as they angrily destroyed the
camp
etc. Colby brings out his "Sometimes you wear the white hat, sometimes you
wear the black hat" analogy that he brought out in the first couple
episodes. I think he's right, I think that he and Tina both managed to be
mostly good and fair and honest. I don't think you can win Survivor
without lying, withholding and turning on some people--without changing
your mind
about people, even. It is a game, and if you go over there and say 'I'm
voting
for you tonight." You'll probably go home. It doesn't make you a bad
person in real life.

Colby and Tina thanked each other for getting them to the last two,
something Kelly and Rich never did. Rich has never said "Lucky for me,
Rudy and Sue were a lot more loyal to me than I was to them." He wants us
to believe he was the master manipulator and that alone got him the million
dollars--in fact, I don't think he realizes that people can get ahead in
the world without being like him.

The jury contemplates what questions they're going to ask of Tina and Colby
before the vote. Keith rambles on and on about what it takes to be there
at the end; like a professor who you realize early on in the semester you
can tune out during lectures to do work from other classes. "He just
repeats himself, everything we need to know is in the outline." Jerri vows
revenge, "They thought their silly totems would appease me, but now they
must face my VENGEANCE!!

The
problem is Jerri, you only have one vote, and both of them stabbed you in
the back. Sounds kinda lose-lose to me, loser. Elisabeth is surprised and
impressed with Colby's decision not to take Keith in for the easy win. She
makes the good observation that it will be hard for either contestant to
justify winning to a group of people who all feel *they* should be up there
instead.

I never did say who I thought would win between the two, and I don't know
if I could without being out there and experiencing a subtle difference
for myself. To me, both played well, both had equal amounts of good
behavior and bad. I may have leaned toward Tina because she's a woman,
I'll own that, unless I got a real strong vibe off her that I got through
the screen. She seemed to be more in charge of deciding who would go and
that might have irritated me from her, because she seemed more
self-righteous about who was leaving and why. I still don't know.

Keith shaved and looked scary. Just freaky. Like Paul McCartney on the
front of my TV Guide scary.

Opening statements. Tina gives sort of a bizarre lecture, telling everyone
not to take your
hurt feelings into account when voting---that might have irritated ME
enough
to vote for Colby, I dunno. Colby tries to come off like an underdog by
calling himself a "jack-of-all trades and master of done" but c'mon, Colby,
you mastered them all, we saw.

The questions from the jury were a zillion times more challenging and
thoughtful than last years group, and no one gives an embarrassing (though
forever memorable) vulture speech like Psycho Psue, or asks the group to
pick a number like weirdo Greg.

Rodger asks if they played as ethically as they could, and asks for moments
in which they lied. Tina shrewdly recalls how she lied to Amber about her
ouster by saying, "Amber was always the one asking us, "who are we voting
out this time?" Reminding Amber and everyone else that this was the game,
and at one point or another, everyone conspired against somebody (Liz, Mike
and Rodger conspired against Jeffy Jeff early on, even). Colby
owns up to his blatant lie to Jerri that he and Amber and Jerri would be
the final three, but doesn't apologize for it.

Amber asks what got them this far and what they'd do with the money. Both
cite taking care of their families. Colby also wants a Harley Davidson.
Liz asks them to pick two people from the jury who they would exclude
winning the money at all costs, and tells them they can't explain their
answers. Tina picks evil Jerri and righteous Rodger--she knows he's
financially well-off because he told her he was when he took a dive for
Bessy. Colby has Tina's back the whole way on this one--rather than
sucking up to Jerri by excluding her at this point, he also picks
Jerri--and
Keith. I couldn't agree more.

Keith naturally has to give a speech about what it takes to get as far as
they all did, and naturally, it isn't very
interesting. He asks them to name an instance when they manipulated the
game, and both of them, masterfully, use the example of when they changed
the whole course of the game by keeping KEITH around and losing Mitch.
Brilliant. "Keeping you around, chef-boy, that's one way we manipulated
the game--do you have a problem with that?"

Alicia gives both players props for making the final two. She wants to
know what they are most and least proud of. Tina says she's least proud of
having to vote them all out (genius) and most proud of stepping off the
pole
to give Keith immunity (which benefited her just as much as it did him,
remember). Colby recalls winning the water bucket challenge
by building that great fire--he was in last place and wound up winning.
He's least proud of not honoring the land---man they must've hypnotized
Colby with that totem, it's all he's been talking about ever since.

Nick reminds them how lucky they were that Mike was burned. Otherwise, it
would have likely been Kucha members here at the end. Who do they think
would be the last two? Colby and Tina both wave the bloody shirt and
praise the departed Michael as the most likely to have made the final two
(remember, at this point, at tribal council, none of them have seen him and
don't know how he's recovering). Colby also guesses Nick, which I laughed
at loud at, and Tina ducks the question, saying she didn't spend enough
time with all of them to know who was any good before she got rid of
them--hey, say "Alicia" say "Liz" whatever! No wonder Tina didn't get
Nick's vote. Didn't even try to answer his question.

Jerri reminds them that they both betrayed her and wonders what they what
to clear their conscience of. Tina BRILLIANTLY replies, "When *someone*
accused Kel of eating beef jerky and *this certain someone* said "check his
bag for food wrappers, and I did." In other words, Tina says, "I wish I
hadn't done what YOU told me to do, Jerri, and accused an innocent man of
cheating." How dare Jerri ask anyone to clear their conscience and kudos
to Tina for giving Jerri the answer she deserved. The look on her face,
that tight "f@#* you" smile of hers, was classic. Colby essentially
apologizes to Rodger and Liz for keeping Keith longer than he kept them,
and to Alicia. He says it was shallow to vote her off because she was so
strong.

Tina uses backgammon as an analogy for her strategy in getting rid of each
of them. It wasn't personal, its just how you play to win. That was cool.
Tina wins with "best luxury item" and it was also a non-clichй. If she
had brought a chess board, the analogies would be so tired.

Finally we see four of the votes. Rodger votes for Colby, saying he
thought Colby played a little harder. Alicia votes for Tina, calling her a
great woman and a brilliant strategist. Amber and Jerri VOTED FOR
DIFFERENT PEOPLE. I am so glad no one took me up on my bet last week! :D
Amber votes for Colby, saying "he was more honest with me." Colby didn't
cast a vote for her when she was axed, is what that was about. Jerri votes
for Tina, saying that Tina was the master manipulator. She claims that
however Tina managed to get Colby to take her in instead of Keith, it was
her most brilliant move. We don't see the other three votes--they'll be
revealed months (moments for us) later in Los Angeles. Jeff gets in a
helicopter and flies away.

Then was see the Helicopter coming in from the pacific over the Santa
Monica pier, with its amusement park. For those of you not aware of the
geography, contrary to what they showed us, one does not pass Downtown LA
on their way from Santa Monica to CBS Television City. Downtown is east of
TV City.

I loved the recreation of tribal council on the set, though. Everyone's
wearing the same clothes (or close facsimile) as they had worn before, but
everyone looks clean and well-fed. Especially Colby, yee-haw. That is one
good-looking man. Keith has re-dyed his hair.

In the end, Colby gets one more vote: Nick, but Tina shores up Elisabeth
and Keith. Tina wins in a 4-3 victory. Colby celebrates on behalf of his
friend, as I sincerely believe Tina would have for him.

After that, we had an hour with Bryant Gumbel interviewing everyone.
Everyone was in good spirits. I thought Keith was very good-natured about
the accurate, but still hurtful things Colby and Tina said about him after
they'd voted him off. Everyone was witty and fun and I look forward to
watching them on Hollywood Squares and whatnot. I just really like them.

The press reaction to "Survivor" is always a little annoying to me. They
throw around this phrase "15 minutes of fame"," as though Survivor
contestants are somehow unworthy of fame--as opposed to who, actors? Game
show hosts? I mean, people get famous for all kinds of reasons, and I
think spending 13 weeks on the most successful show in the country is just
as valid a way to fame as turning letters on the Wheel of Fortune, you
know? It's not like there's a class or a credential you need to have
before you are worthy of being famous in America. You can't tell me that
Jenna Lewis is less qualified than Melissa Rivers to stand on a red carpet
and ask "Who are you wearing?" So go, Survivors, go! Be famous for as
long as you want.

My final thought is about the money. I'm gonna get a little preachy here.
A Million Dollars. Colby is already being called an idiot for not breaking
his word to Tina and taking Keith in with him. But, see, the difference
between Colby and Rich is Colby's word means something to him. He and Tina
agreed to bring the other with them. It's that simple. Neither was going
to take a $900,000 paycheck for being a chicken and a liar and a jerk and
going with Keith.

There's something just...insufferable to me about watching Bryant Gumbel
and Letterman and--you know what? In Los Angeles, even my local
newscasters are probably millionaires! Watching them shake their heads in
amazement at Colby being happy with $100,000 and his integrity is so
annoying. On "Craig Kilborn" Thursday night, Ben Stein (who's game show I
work on, most of you know) maintained that a million dollars isn't even
that much money. He ACTUALLY said, that after taxes and whatnot, the
winner is *ONLY* going to get about $20,000 a year which, "even for the
most frugal person, is not really enough to live on." Uh, it is for those
of us who aren't hysterical lunatic showbiz prima donnas like you, Ben. Ay
Carumba! I'd live a little better if CBS paid off my VISA card, which is
substantially less than a million or even twenty thousand dollars.

People get a million dollars for all sorts of things in America too. It
doesn't make them happy. I mean, look at Robert Downey, Jr. Here is' a
guy that would be a lot better off with some inner peace and his integrity.
He doesn't seem to have either--but I'm certain the producers of "Ally
McBeal" gave him a million dollars or two. So, my hat is off to Colby and
HIS proverbial "white hat." He's a (really, really) good-looking,
personable guy, and he's surely going to get some endorsement money out of
all this--maybe even a million dollars! And he didn't have to be Richard
Hatch to get it. Tina got the million dollars by being competitive. Did
she lie a little? Sure. But she never told Keith or Liz or anyone but
Colby that "In the end, you and I are the final two." Rich told that lie
to Rudy, Sue...and he even dangled it in front of Sean.

So, Yay! Yay Survivor. Yay to Tina, Colby, Keith, Rodger, Elisabeth--all
of this year's Survivor cast--even you Jerri. It was exciting, and fun and
magnificent television.

Next Fall: Africa! I can't hardly wait :D Christine

X-Files 8.17 "Empedocles"--sorry for the delay, I was abducted by aliens...

I thought about telling you all about it but...nah, I'll just go on with my
life as though nothing out of the ordinary happened.

This episode was pretty OK. What really hacks me off is I'm so freaking
desperate that I considered calling this a good episode because the 8
minutes or so that Mulder and Scully were together were so wonderful and so
sweet and so pickin' adorable I forgot that....HEY We used to get 40
minutes or so of Mulder and Scully together (OK 30, then he'd ditch her and
then 5 at the end). We can't let them manipulate us like this.

The show opens with a guy, Jeff getting unexpectedly fired from his job.
He's kinda in a state of shock, and he wanders outside the office, where he
witnesses the end of a high-speed police chase. There's a fiery crash, and
this guy gets out of one of the cars, ON FIRE, and walks up to Jeff and
*passes through him* but no one seems to notice. Jeff's eyes get all red
and flamy, he goes upstairs and shoots two of his bosses. Did I miss the
part where we understand why he had a gun or where he got it? Doesn't fit
with the whole "thread of evil made me do it" thing.

Agt. Moonbeam Reyes arrives. The investigators have called on her because
they think Jeff (who's fled the scene) was into weird stuff--Moonbeam's
specialty. I thought Annabeth Gish was much improved in this ep over her
debut, but she was still a little too chipper when she told the Atlanta cop
that her area of expertise was satanic ritual murder *big grin.* The cop
finds what he thinks is satanic literature, but Reyes tells him it's just
the CD booklet for a "Marilyn Manson" album--"you're kids probably listened
to it," she smiles. Uh, yeah, X-Files, maybe if it was 1998--but then you
were pretty darn good and scary in 1998 weren't you? Maybe it's wishful
thinking. Reyes stoops to examine one of the body and it turns to ash
before her eyes--what the ???? But then we realize it's all in moonbeam's
head.

Cut to: Adorable Mulder and Scully banter. Scully is waiting for a pizza,
and Mulder wonders if said pizza man is the father of Scully's baby. Yuk,
not knowing who the father of your kid is--hilarious, especially when you
can't even figure out how you got pregnant. Not scary AT ALL.

Scully tells Mulder she feels like they're stuck in an episode of "mad
About you"-- you mean the last year of the show when the overpaid stars
tried to get blood out of stone when they should have bowed out gracefully
the year before?

Nice dialogue alert: When the pizza guy asks Mulder for $29.08, Mulder
quips, "What'd she get on it, a tank of gas?" Mulder has a present for
her--a family heirloom, he claims. But Scully has abdominal pains and must
be rushed to the hospital before the gift can be opened. Mulder and Dogg
both arrive at the hospital (Dogg having found out about Scully's condition
from her building manger). The nurse asks the very unlikely question "Are
you the husband?" to both men. In 2001, wouldn't she just ask if they were
the father? Or merely if they are family (later in the episode, Jeff's
sister accompanies him, without being asked "are you the wife?" ) the men
snarl at one another. Reyes calls Mulder's cell phone and asks his help.
He tells her to ask Doggett. "I can't, it involves Dogg. So Mulder leaves
Scully at the hospital because...he's THAT suspicious of Dogg? I didn't
buy it.

Jeff tries to kill himself, but then sees the fiery evil in himself in the
mirror and doesn't do it.

Reyes is in a big old room full of files when Mulder arrives. Mulder, by
the way, is wearing the never-before-seen combination of baby blue sweater
with black leather jacket--very nice. Mulder learns of Dogg's son "Luke
John Doggett," who was abducted and murdered at the age of seven while Dogg
was with the NYPD. Reyes worked the case, they never found out who did it.
Mulder is shaken by the revelation. Reyes tells Mulder she had the same
vision of a body turning to ash when she found Luke's body four years ago.
Reyes informs Mulder that Dogg told her he had the same vision, but has
since talked himself out of it. Mulder is intrigued by the revelation
about Dogg and refreshed by Reyes's open-mindedness.

Meanwhile, Dogg visits Dana, but has a flashback to finding his son's dead
body. Dana's too drugged out to notice. The nurse kicks him out, saying
visiting is for "immediate family" only. Yeah, what're the odds of them
showing up? What if you don't have immediate family anyway, does that mean
you can't have visitors ever? Dogg finds Mulder looking at his son's file
and screams at him to stay out of his life. Reyes tells Dogg she asked him
to look into it. Dog is displeased. She tells him that Mulder has found a
connection between Dogg's son and Office Jeff--the flamy guy that was
killed in the car wreck had been a suspect in Luke's murder. Dogg ain't
trying to hear that.

Reyes visits Jeff's sister, who insists he's to sweet and gentle to be a
killer. Jeff calls her while Reyes is there, but sis covers.

Dogg visits doped Scully again--you know, Gillian did a lot more
work/stunts when she REALLY WAS PREGNANT. Now that she's merely faking,
she's out of the picture all the time. Dogg asks Scully what changed her
mind about the paranormal, what made her believe. Scully tells him she
realized she had been afraid to believe, and doesn't come with anything
really specific about what she does actually believe, naturally. Dogg has
another flashback about Reyes and a bunch of cops standing over his son's
dead body. Scully's concerned for Dogg but to druggy to be any help.

Mulder tells Reyes he knows the X-Files like the back of his hand and that
her visions don't mean jack. She insists they mean something. He tells
her they're HIS X-Files--how dare she read something into them that he
doesn't see, nyah nyah?? Reyes accuses him of being so bitter about
losing the X-Files (where IS Mulder assigned these days? ) he's refusing to
help DOgg. Mulder blows her off, but not before Reyes throws him the
ultimate insult--"close-minded." Yee-ouch.

Jeff kills someone else. Reyes see the vision at this body too. She calls
Mulder and Dogg to the scene and wants Dogg to tell her if he sees the
vision. He says he doesn't and Reyes accuses HIM of blinding himself to
the truth. She tells the boys her theory: she thinks a "thread of evil" is
connecting all these deaths. Mulder is both impressed with her audacious
theory and irked at her lack of sensitivity. Who does she remind me of?
He defends Doggett, telling her to leave the guy alone. Dogg and Reyes
exchange a "I'm very disappointed in you" look.

Mulder visits Scully. She says they need to monitor her for awhile. He
feels the baby and tells her he was with Moonbeam and Dogg. Scully says
she likes Agent Reyes--uh, interesting. I don't really your liking her
much at all, Dana. He inquires about Dogg's dead son. She says she knows
about it (presumably from when she read his file) but that he's never
discussed it. OK, the only two Dana/Dogg scenes I actually want to see are
1) Dogg talking about his kid and 2) Scully talking about her lifelong
experience with military types such as Dogg. Doesn't look like I'll get
either. I would have liked to see Dana and Dogg open up to each other more
earlier in the year WHEN THE SHOW SUCKED. It would have helped. Anyway,
Mulder tells Scully he was unable to help Dogg because he didn't want to be
helped. Scully tells Mulder that Dogg is a good man, and worth his effort.

Jeff arrives at his sister's place. Despite her earlier claims to believe
in his innocence, she's freaked to see him.

Reyes and Dogg have it out. She tells him he needs to follow the vision to
find Jeff, but he wants to do it in his no-nonsense New York cop sort of
way. He confesses to Reyes that he's afraid to believe in the paranormal.
He's afraid that there were other avenues to explore in trying to find his
son, and by not believing, he let him down. They are interrupted by Jeff's
sister, who calls Reyes and asks for her help with Jeff. Jeff is getting
flamy eyes again and smells a trap when his sister asks him to get away
from her daughter. He takes the little girl hostage when Dogg holds a gun
on him. Dogg drops his gun, and Jeff makes a move as if to fire at him, so
Reyes shoots him.

At the hospital, Reyes tries to comfort Dogg with her theory--maybe the
whole point of following the thread of evil was so they could save this
girl. Which makes no sense to me at all because the implication with the
on-fire car crash guy was that it if it wasn't for Jeff encountering him,
he wouldn't have killed anyone in the first place...right? Regardless,
Dogg isn't convinced. He visits Scully, then Mulder asks him into the hall
for a man to man chat. He tells Dogg about the horrifying things he saw
when he was in the violent crimes unit. He imparts a theory about evil,
that people have an immunity to it that can be weakened by a loss or
traumatic incident, and then a person can be open to it. Dogg asks "Do you
believe that?" Mulder shrugs, "I'm a bad example. I'll believe almost
anything." Dogg is still upset, but the men seem to have forged an
understanding.

Jeff dies. His doctor is played by Denise Crosby, Bing Crosby's
granddaughter who played "Tasha" on Star Trek:TNG. Reyes tries to comfort
Jeff's sister--which seemed pretty farfetched. I mean, justified or not,
she killed the guy. Why on earth would she think his sister would be open
to her even hanging around, let alone trying to help her? The sister gets
the flamy eyes from her brother and bashes Reyes over the head with some
sort of oxygen canister or whatnot and then takes Reyes's gun. Dogg is
able to restrain her.

Scully is out of the hospital. She misses her pizza guy, as Mulder has
brought the food. It is soft T-shirt Mulder, my favorite. He reminds her
to open her gift. Mulder, who gave her a "Superstars of the Super Bowls"
video to celebrate her return from alien abduction (One Breath, season 2)
and a silly NASA key-chain to tell her "happy birthday and please don't die
I love you" ("Tempus Fugit" Season 4), stuns Scully and me both by
presenting her with an antique doll. She is moved. She thanks him for
this, and his greatest gift to her: courage to believe.

Dogg is left at the hospital looking at Jeff's sister, wondering if the
thread of evil will go on, and if the answer to his son's death is at the
other end somehow.

This episode was penned by Greg Walker, who wrote that icky abysmal "twin"
episode earlier in the year, with the guy that had x-ray vision? This is a
vast improvement. But the overall story problems continue. Why wasn't
Dogg's son brought up between Dogg and Dana? Is Mulder the father or not?
This isn't suspenseful, its irritating. Worst, Scully was in the hospital
and her baby was monitored for a length of time--is this all part of the
conspiracy, or does this mean the baby's human? I'll say it again, how
"shocking" is the delivery going to be when "alien baby" has been in the
back of everyone's mind ever since Season? Whatever.

To its credit, I could see potential for a working relationship between
Gish and Patrick as moonbeam and Dogg. The problem is, I have always cared
about the black oil and the bees and the cigarette smoking man and the
fluke worms and the contagions and the lone gunmen blah blah blah BECAUSE
of Mulder and Scully. I can see "The X-Files" carrying on with Reyes and
Doggett--it might even be an interesting, occasionally dang good and creepy
show.

But without Mulder and Scully, it won't have my heart.

Christine :)