Survivor 12.9 "Maybe we can break his arm, or something."

THE GYPSIES THAT REMAIN

Morning at Chaosa, and Terry is talking about his favorite topic--himself. Sally, Aras and Shane seem pretty captivated, as Terry explains, "Flight school was where I learned how to drop bombs, shoot guns, land on the carrier, play shirtless volleyball, and sing "You've Lost That Loving Feeling" to hot babes." In the shelter, Courtney, Danielle and Cirie roll their eyes at Terry's self-aggrandizement, but Courtney wonders, "Like, how is like, any like, normal person supposed to like, beat like, a Navy air fighter pilot dude?" Cirie shrugs, "Maybe we can break his arm or something." Terry asks the guys where he fits in once it gets down to him and the Final Six, and Aras sighs, "Terry, it's pretty freakin' obvious that you're not part of our plan, like, at all." Shane nods, "Yeah, what, do I need to call another really obvious, really loud meeting and like, exclude you from it?" Terry grins, "Oh, okay, I guess I'll just keep beating you guys at everything." Aras and Shane and Shane both tell Terry they'd respect the hell out of him if he really DID win every single Immunity from here until the end, but they don't think it's actually possible. Terry tells us, "Tribal Council was kind of a bummer for ME, since Austin went home. I guess it was probably a bigger bummer for Austin, but now, he'll just have to help me on the jury. I don't get why none of these nimrods fell for my bluff to use the Immunity Idol, nor why Dani refused my offer to give her the Idol if she'd just pledge her undying loyalty to me. I don't know WHY these people don't want me to be their leader, I mean, look at La MENa. Well, I mean, you can't because they're all gone, but when they were still in the game and under my command, trust me, they were real happy." Terry then says he's fully prepared to just keep beating everyone at every competition, which is kinda insufferable, but also kinda really possible, based on past performance, let's face it.

The girls sans Sally are still lazing about. Dani groans, "Ah jus' wish Sally an' Terry wuh gone. An' den, Aras." Oh, how my heart soared to hear that, and again when Courtney and Cirie nodded in agreement. Courtney insists they have to get rid of the Idol ASAP, meaning keep Terry from winning Immunity and then force him to use it if he has it. Since the girls plan on targeting Aras AFTER Sally and Terry go, they're not all that concerned about losing him BEFORE Sally and Terry. Then Dani pulls a Jerri and rifles thru Terry's bag looking for the Idol, but Terry doesn't have it stashed there. The Idol IS stealable, finders keepers and all that. Interestingly enough, it seems as though Dani hasn't told anyone that Terry showed her the Idol--or did she? She tells US that Terry showed her "Some furry ting he coulda found owt in duh jungle." So she's not sure that Terry was being straight with her, which is legit, I mean, she doesn't know what the Idol looks like. It amuses me that she doesn't trust Terry because you KNOW he just assumes everybody believes everything he says, and that he's Mr. Integrity, blah blah blah. Aras, oblivious to the growing disdain his former followers have for him, sidles up to the shelter and gushes, "Hey, it's pretty cool that we're going up against someone as manly and awesome as Terry!" Apparently, all men are useless to resist his alphaness. The girls aren't so much impressed as they are scared--scared that they can't possibly beat him. Aras chuckles, "I command you, children, to have faith in me, and in my ability to defeat this mortal. He flies planes, he's not American Gladiator." Well flyboy's whupping your ass pretty good so far, Aras. Aras then asks the ladies to send him to Exile Island if he loses at the challenge today, because he wants to snoop around for the Idol.

SWING OUT, SISTERS

Everyone gathers at the Reward beach, and Jeff brings them over to a gazebo so he can show them parts of their videos from home. Shane starts sobbing ALREADY, before they even get to the gazebo. We see Terry's wife and two kids. His adorable young daughter seems pretty wrecked about Dad's being gone. We meet Dani's parents and siblings, we meet Bruce's wife and his TOUGH daughter, Danielle, holy crap! Forget the katas!, Bruce's daughter looks like she could take on some real enemies! Courtney's mom seems surprisingly normal, and Aras's dad gives us a cliffhanger, ducking into a teepee and inviting Aras in for some important information Aras will never receive. And yeah, I didn't get that mixed up, no teepee for Courtney's family. Shane is a wreck as he listens to his son, Boston, give his Dad a pep talk. He's very breezy and not at all traumatized from his Dad's absence--I imagine, he's enjoying the breathing room. Also, I thought he was just "ok" as 13 year-old kids go. I wasn't blown away or anything, but after weeks of listening to Shane rave about him, I guess no child could live up to the hype. Shane whimpers, "We grew up together, man, I had him when I was 21. He's my other half, he's my brother, he's my best friend, he's my agent, he's my accountant, he's my therapist, he's my personal trainer, he's my life coach, he's my stockbroker...and oh yeah, he's my son." Sally's parents tell her they love and miss her, thank God. Cirie gets weepy when she sees her husband and two sons, but tells Jeff she can get thru the game because "it's all for them." Jeff then tells them that the reward is getting to see your whole video, and eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and milk while you do so. On Big Brother, PB&J is a punishment, on Survivor, it's a reward. The group is divided into two teams, with equal parts women and men. Each team has one girl lying face down on this swing contraption, and the others must pull ropes to swing her over to this pole, where she grabs 15 numbered flags in order, one at a time, and then they swing her down to these holes where she can peg in the flags into the ground. The teams are Danielle (in the swing), Aras, Shane and Cirie versus Courtney (in the swing), Bruce, Sally and Terry. It's a real fun challenge, and it's very strenuous. It's also VERY close, until Aras accidentally (?) kicks out one of his teams flags. That flag has to be replaced before they can go on, and they lose way to much time and the other team wins. Aras gets sent to Exile Island, just like he wanted. But he wouldn't have tanked the game...would he? We only get a glimpse of the winners eating their sandwiches, we don't see them watch their videos, which is just as well.

NEVER TELL ANYONE YOU'RE A NURSE

Shane, Dani and Cirie return to camp, and Shane gives them a pep talk, "It was a couple a' sandwiches and some milk. If we're gonna lose one, let's lose this one. And the tapes woulda WRECKED us, dude." Dude, just hearing about the tapes wrecked Shane. Then Shane asks Nurse for her professional evaluation of a problem he's having with his...um. His weewee. It's red and painful--man, I hope he stopped using the ladies soap. A brave Cirie takes a look, and diagnoses a "chaffing" issue, due to the fact that Shane's clothes are always wet, so Shane starts wearing a skirt, ala Rupert, although not nearly as charming. Cirie tells us, "Shane is like a cartoon character, and now he's a nude cartoon character." Actually, Shane nude is more like the want-ads, what with all the writing on him. He doesn't have picture tattoos, it's all writing, much of it devoted to his son. Anyone else having trouble staying un-creeped out by Shane and his kid? The winners return, and the losers get even more bitter when they realize the winners have been given their luxury items. Courtney brought her "fire toys", which are these swinging fire pots that she dances with. Sally brought her journal and Bruce brought a sketchbook. Sally feels bad that the others don't get theirs, but Shane takes it in stride--seriously, was that one cigarette at the lovefest bbq all he needed? He's been rather sane and uninteresting lately. Maybe the chaffing is distracting him from his mental abuse--you think it'd make it worse. Cirie sums it up, "Terry brought an American flag, go figure," and I was prepared to make some kind of 'We Get It, you're a Navy Dude" comment, but then he said his dad and dad-in-law were Korean War vets and this was the flag that was on his recently deceased father-in-law's casket. And I'm not made of stone. Hang that flag, Terry. Cirie is impressed with Courtney's cool fire toys, and tries to push aside her own disappointment and fatigue, "It's a game, you gotta keep it together," she snuffles. I'd really love for Cirie to win it all, though it's probably too much to ask. She's waaaaay under the radar though, it's hard to imagine her being targeted soon.

On Exile Island, Aras delights in being alone with himself. He easily makes fire (there's no rain) but finds the quest for the Immunity Idol to be frustrating, since the first clue says it's under a rock and every rock has been moved by previous explorers. He tells himself that Terry send him over too easily, so Terry must have it, and wants him to tire-out looking for it, so he stops. I hate him, but I gotta admit, he IS pretty smart.

Later, Bruce is doing a quite lovely sketch of the Island in his sketch book, while Courtney is fire-dancing. Sally tells Terry she doesn't want to go home, and he is finally completely honest with his Army of One, telling her she pretty much needs to win Immunity herself, OR get at least two of the girls to switch over to his side. So, Terry has no intention of parting with the Idol unless he knows he'll have the numbers and he's never gonna have the numbers. He's made it so apparent that he's practically impossible to beat in any challenge, so HOW does it benefit them to want to help him? Terry and Sally hatch a plan of using the Idol as leverage--they claim that the Idol will go into play at the next Tribal Council, and sort of blackmail people into joining them so it doesn't get used against them. The problem with this plan is 1) Bruce and the three girls know they're gonna target either Shane or Aras, so the other four aren't remotely afraid that one of their names is gonna come up, so why would they turn on their team (and hopefully their jury) at this point? and 2) Bruce and the three girls don't care if Terry were to knock of Shane or Aras at this point in the game.

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE AND BUFFET

Aras returns from Exile in good spirits, and ala Terry, says it was no big deal. Of course, he got to go in nice weather, but I think he gets that it makes you seem cooler if you act like it was a cakewalk, instead of shuddering and moaning like Austin and Dani did. Then Jeff doles out a nut and a shell to everyone. He describes the challenge, in which the players must swim out, dive down and memorize a series of symbols, come back to shore and recreate it on land. If you're wrong, you have to swim back to look at it again, and if you're right, you win Immunity. But, if you're reasonably confident you're not gonna need Immunity, you can try to eat as many cheeseburgers, fries and cokes as you can before somebody else wins. Aras is seriously unhappy as he watches his "fellow" Chaosa members giggle in anticipation of NOT helping him compete for Immunity. Sure enough, only Aras, Sally and Terry opt to forgo the meal and, you know, play Survivor. In all fairness, though, no one else has to. Even Shane, who was targeted the TC where Nick went home, knows that Sally and Terry are gunning for Aras, "It's all you, Aras," Courtney chuckles. "Yeah," Aras mutters bitterly. I'm sure you recall that Jeff gave a similar offer last season, and again, most of the power clique chose eating over competing (Judd and Cindy being the notable exceptions). I tried to figure out why I wasn't remotely put off by people eating the cheeseburgers this time, and I came up with a couple. Well, there's the obvious one: no Jamie-like individual taunting one of the participants, but the main reason is that it was just so funny to watch Aras's "teammates" sell him out so quickly. Not only were they saying, "We're not at risk," they were saying, "We don't really care if YOU'RE at risk." It was priceless. And also, no matter how much Jeff tries to guilt people about NOT being competitive enough to be worthy or whatnot, the reality of this reality show is that Chaosa WAS competitive enough to secure a majority, and picking off the smaller tribe is their right, if that's what they want to do. It sucks when the majority team sucks, but it IS the game. And, unlike many previous seasons, the power clique has been very up front about the fact that they are a team, they're voting the others out one by one, etc. THere's been none of this insincere "We're all one tribe" bullcrap, and although it's arrogant, it's still refreshing. Anyway, the eaters wind up rooting against ANYONE getting the challenge done right away, because they want to keep stuffing their faces (I liked that Bruce rooted on Sally, just out of politeness, I think). Aras thinks he has it but he doesn't, and Terry winds up winning Super Secret Double Immunity yet again, again. He once again preens with the necklace around his neck as Aras steams and frets.

TERRY STILL DOESN'T GET IT

Aras tells Shane and Courtney that he looked for the Idol, and thinks that it was either easy to find and Terry got it right away, or it's impossible to find, since he couldn't find it. The thought that it was heard to find and Terry found it doesn't come up. Shane says the play for tonight is six votes for Sally and hope Terry doesn't have the Idol. Then Courtney adds, "Hey, like, thanks for like, sticking up for Chaosa, suckuh!" Aras tells us, "I always knew I was superior to them in every way, but I didn't realize I was the only one competitive enough to even TRY to win Immunity, and now I may be going home. It's an outrage, though I'll continue to smile through these interviews as though I'm not crippled with rage." Then Terry shows Bruce the Immunity Idol, which he has stashed in the rafters of the shelter. He kind of flashes it and then hustles to put it back before anyone else sees it. Like Danielle, Bruce is unsure if he's actually seen the Idol, though, and since he knows either Aras or Shane would go if Terry played it, he just smiles, "I have no intention of joining Terry's team just yet, but I'm eager to see what happens tonight!" See, this is where Terry's plan of showing he has the Idol to a few choice people doesn't make any sense. Bruce and Dani KNOW they can use Terry's vote down the line if they need it, and it's not in either of their best interest to help him help Sally. Better to let his only true ally go. Elsewhere, Sally tries one last time to get the girls to switch over to her and Terry's side. She tells them Aras will go if the Idol is played, and she says that Terry doesn't get why a couple of them don't side with him and guarantee themselves Final Four. No one says anything, and we know this is because it's really all the same to the Chaosa girls whether Sally or Aras goes. Later, Courtney and Terry go to fetch water together and Courtney tries to wheedle more information from him, but Terry won't even tell her that he HAS the Idol for sure. He then tries to sell her on voting out Aras outright, so he won't have to bother using the Idol he may or may not have, and she takes a pass. Its kinda interesting that Terry has gone so far as to show the Idol to Danielle and Bruce, but won't tell Courtney whether he has it or not. He's just all over the place--he's really just throwing strategy at a wall and seeing what sticks. Courtney tells us that she'd like to go To the Final Two with Terry because she's sure she'd beat him in a vote, whereas she doesn't think she could beat Aras. That's weird, considering how annoyed all the women are with Aras. Would he really beat her in a popularity contest? And if Terry does manage to win every single Immunity, would the others really not see fit to reward him for it? I mean, as insufferable as he is, it'll probably be easier to say, "That Top Gun Navy dude beat me," then "That annoying fire dancer who said "like" all the time and thought the dead turtle was an omen beat me." Although, winning almost every single Immunity didn't help Kelly or Colby any, so who knows? Courtney also says the only downside to losing Aras would be, "No one else can beat Terry." That's the winning spirit! Bruce and Cirie exchange notes, and Cirie scoffs at the idea that Terry would ever play the secret Idol for any other reason than to save his own butt, "That would mean he has to win every single challenge! If he gave that to someone else, it'd be the dumbest move in Survivor History." Dumber then Helen and Jan NOT talking to each other about what Brian was telling both of them? Dumber than Sarge trusting Twila? Dumber than Pagong voting for their own Jenna instead of Richard Hatch at the very first Merge?? Maybe. I so wanted the Idol to played, in a stunningly bold and surprising way, but it makes more sense, if you're Terry, to just keep it for yourself, I see that now. I just wish he hadn't gone around and told so many people he had it. He's become so drunk with power, he's actually starting to resent those who won't collude with him for making him use his back-up Immunity, maybe, down the road, if ever doesn't win the Necklace. Looking at him glower at a fire-dancing Courtney and bitch to Sally, "She has time to dance but not to give me a straight answer!" I thought, "Why should she? Why should she help you? If you want to help Sally, help Sally, and if you want to help yourself, then help yourself, but quit hoping that any of these guys are gonna suddenly decide to help the strongest player in the game get even stronger, 'cause it ain't gonna happen, dude. No one wants to help you get the numbers, you ain't gonna get numbers, STOP TALKING ABOUT THE NUMBERS!!!!

TRIBAL COUNCIL

Everyone's very impressed at the bathed and pink-shirted Austin as he arrives at the jury box. Shane seemed particularly impressed, for whatever reason. Jeff starts things off by truing to make Chaosa sans Aras feel guilty about the cheeseburgers, but to no avail. Shane jokes, "I over performed at the challenge, I had two cheeseburgers, nine french fries and almost a whole glass of Coke." And I hated myself later, but I sure laughed hard when he said it, it was just funny. I still think he's icky, but he is also witty at times. Shane tells Jeff he was hungry and he knew he didn't need Immunity tonight and he promises it's his last cheeseburger detour off Immunity Road. When Jeff asks Sally is she's frustrated at Chaosa's confidence she says yes, but in Survivor the confident GET to be confident, and she knows she needed to win to stay in the game. Aras admits to being irritated and exposed with his fake grin firmly in place. He then says, "As soon as we can get the necklace, the sooner we can get into our strategy." Aras, you don't need a euphemism for "voting Terry out," you've already told him numerous times that you're gonna do so. Sally smiles at Aras' nervousness, providing some more false hope for Sally fans that she has the Idol. Shane then declares that Terry can't win 6 Immunities in a row (he actually only needs to win 5) and when Terry boasts that that is exactly what he intends to do, Danielle moans, "Here we go." Jeff asks for some elaboration, and she sniffs, "He's always goin' on an' on about how great ee is at everting, how ee's so competitive. It's all about Terry, Terry, Terry, ee's so cocky." Jeff sighs, "Uh, hello, Miss Me and Me friends don't need Immunity, Pass the Ketchup!?" Danielle insists that her and her tribe aren't nearly as arrogant as Terry and then Jeff taunts her, "Isn't your REAL problem with Terry is he's just better than you at everything and you can't handle it?" Danielle then spouts the party line that Terry can't win every challenge, it's impossible. Cirie answers Jeff's question about where she thinks the Immunity idol is and she says that everyone wants it in play, and Aras shakes his head with a smile on his face, thinking, "These idiots don't realize that if the Idol comes into play, I'm going home!" Of course, the Idol is not played, and Sally goes home 6-2, with 2 more meaningless votes being cast for Aras. Terry is left being the lone wolf up against impossible odds, and he's loving every second of it. In her exit speech, Sally defends Terry's hanging onto the Idol, almost as though she can sense America's frustration.

Sally is voted out in 8th place. As I have said numerous times, it was at this stage in the game of our very first Survivor that it really dawned on me that this was a show that voted out it's stars. Even though I found her overwrought and annoying, it was hard for me to imagine a "Survivor" without weepy Poor Jenna. In the Outback, the nation put aside its differences and rejoiced as one at the stunning ouster of evil Jerri while in Africa, gay Brandon's weird flirtation with straight Lex wasn't enough to spare the lazy boy. In the Marquesas, we lost the unmemorable Zoe, who had been a member of the power clique until the tables turned. If you DO remember her, I'll bet it's because of that weird jewelry she started making people in her last days, in an effort to get in their good graces. In Thailand, Ken the New York Cop was let go, you probably don't remember him either. In the Amazon, Deena was sitting pretty in the power clique and then rather arbitrarily decided to turn on Alex, which offended Rich Jenna's morals, and it was Deena's turn to go home instead. In the Pearl Islands, allegedly moral girl-boy scout Lill joined with horrible Jonny Fairplay and Rotten Burton to betray one of our all-time favorites, Rupert--it was a dark day. In Vanuatu, handsome amputee Chad was yet another victim of Ami's assault on Y-Chromosomes, and in Palau, Jeff kept everyone after school until Janu finally cracked and agreed to quit the game so that Steph could stick around a little longer. Last season, psycho-paranoid Jamie was stabbed in the back, much to our delight.

EVICTED SURVIVOR FUN FACT

Sally isn't just a social worker, but a varsity high school soccer coach--Dani and Austin are also both soccer players, it's a shame no one brought a ball. Sally also plays old school games like cribbage and likes to fly fish. She's just a good egg, and I wish her well.

What's next? I'm kinda at a loss. I guess I'm rooting for Terry to take out Aras, and then the others take out Terry and then Cirie flies under the radar until the Final Three, wins the Endurance Challenge (she has borne children) and wins it all. One thing I'm digging about this season is everyone's trying to win. There's no Lydia, you know? Everyone may not be shining at the challenges, but everyone's trying, and everyone's trying to come up with their OWN strategy to win. I like that. Is Bruce gonna be the medical emergency? The scenes show him grabbing his stomach in agony, and part of me thinks that's a fake-out, but then the other part of me thinks they could have just SHOWN the "we have a medical emergency" thing they did after the clip show if they didn't want to tip us off. In the commercial, you can see the person's face, and it does look like it could be Bruce, but it's in that night-vision, so it's hard to be sure. We do know that it's not Danielle (she's shown fretting in the TV spot) and it's not SHane (he's seen kneeling beside the obscured person's stretcher). I'm obsessed so you don't have to be. Am I a bad person to be bummed it may be Bruce, mainly because he's not a pivotal player in this game (in my opinion)? Yes, it does, never mind. One thing we know for sure: unless he barters his Idol for a promise and then gets betrayed, which would be funny but unlikely, Terry ain't going nowhere. Bruce seems an easy vote-out because I can't imagine he's been promised anything. I'd guess the girls could target Aras, but Shane tells Aras in the scenes, "No one's safe, I'm shaking up the game." How? Why? Does Shane get wind of the girl;s plans to band together to dump Aras and move against them? That seems unlikely, because losing Aras would benefit him. Despite the high likelihood of some jerk winning this year, I'm, still having an awful lot of fun...

Peace! :D

Christine