Survivor 12.8 "I'm not going along with your stupid idea!"

FALLOUT, BOY

Austin is very much stunned to still be playing Survivor. Don't worry Austin, it won't be long now. He's now kicking himself for telling everyone at Tribal Council that he didn't try to win Immunity, or at least didn't try his hardest, because he thought it might work in his benefit to appear weak. "I'd already given up," he admits to an angry America, who's rubbing it;s collective temples and muttering, "Austin, if you'd won Immunity, Terry would have gotten the votes and he'd have pulled out his Immunity Idol and Shane would be gone! Shane! AGH!" This is an important thing to remember throughout this episode: Austin coulda woulda shoulda, and he's got no one to blame except himself when he goes home. But I'm getting way ahead of myself. Austin's plight serves as a reminder of why some people are frustratingly conservative at Tribal Council--you never know what's gonna happen. The Psychotic Joke is shocked and appalled that Austin duped them into voting for Nick (Shane's Spidey sense was right). The gang is out digging in the rocks for snails (they still haven't found Tina's oysters) and Aras decides to over state things, "These snails are like members of La MENa--slimy and hard to get out. Heh, that was such a major burn. Now let me impress upon all of you sheep: Austin is a slimeball, and none of you better reveal anything to him, ya got me?" "AUSTIN IS A SLIMEBALL," the others chant. Elsewhere, Sally is getting HER orders from Terry, "You need to swing one of the girls over to our side. Go over there and talk about ponies or blouses or whatever the hell it is that you airheads are always giggling about." Sally sighs, "Dude, it's not my fault you couldn't get a single person to flip to our side, Mr. Born Leader." The two are baffled as to who are the 5 and 6 in the Psychotic Joke Enigma. Bruce, off by himself doing Kuh! Rah! Tay! as always, is certainly 5 or 6, but his delusional confidence is obscuring that from them. ANd maybe I'm the one who doesn't have a clear picture of things. Remember how Cirie was on the chopping block? Now she seems very close to Shane, AND Aras, AND both the girls. Speaking of delusional confidence, and unshaken Terry grins, "I got all kinds of new numbers rolling around in my head--I just need to flip TWO people to take control of this game!" Uh...Terry...those are the old numbers. The same numbers you were unable to secure yesterday? Terry then insists that he's "still a team guy," and it's still his intention to save Austin and Sally and defeat Chaosa. Oh REALLY. If that were true, he would've saved Nick. You're playing for yourself, Terry, it's Survivor, it's allowed. But just freakin' own it, dude. Tree Mail arrives, and a clueless Courtney chirps, "Man, that's like, so awesome, man, I'm like, so jazzed that the poemy thing said we'd like, have to make, like, political decisions, man." No one else on her teams looks jazzed though, because that's the last thing they want to have to do is expose the 5 and 6 to Terry and Sally. Sally, who DOES understand Survivor, is hoping the challenge might yield some intel...

YOU PUT THE SLIME IN THE COCONUT

The Survivors are divided into 3 teams (randomly) to compete in a boat race. Each team starts with 100 coconuts, which they must load into the other teams' boats until they're all gone. Once they're done with that, they paddle their coconut-laden boats out to a buoy where they recover a fishing net and a flag. Then they paddle in, and use the net to bring the coconuts back to the bins. First tribe to have all their coconuts out of the boat and in the bin, and all three members and the flag on the mat, wins reward. Want to know what they're playing for? The winning team of three gets taken by boat the next morning to breakfast in bed. Plus, they get to determine who goes into Exile. So, the teams wind up like this: Shane, Terry and Austin vs. Dani, Courtney and Cirie, vs. Bruce, Aras and Sally. Aras has the idea to load up all their coconuts into the three men's boat, since they certainly have an advantage in a rowing contest, and he tells Dani to do the same, "Put your coconuts in the guy's boat, we're not putting any in yours, ya got me?" "ALL THE COCONUTS IN THE GUY'S BOAT," Dani intones. The girls fall so far behind the two other teams, they wind up still putting coconuts in their OWN boat while the two other teams race out to the buoys. It's a tight race, and it gets tighter when Aras, Bruce and Sally realize they've left their team flag back on the boat while they were transferring all the coconuts. Sally dashes back to the boat as the all-man team struggles to unload their net, and she comes thru--Bruce, Aras and Sally win Reward. Jeff then reveals that they have to send one person from each tribe. Bruce and Sally both crinkle their foreheads before Aras reminds them, "I make all the decisions on the Island! It's gonna be Austin and Danielle! Because I wish it to BE!" Dani is unthrilled, "Yo, can't we play rock, papuh scissohs again, Jeff?" Misty can't save you now, Danielle...

RAINDROPS KEEP FALLING ON MY BED

It's pouring down rain as Aras makes a big show about how eager he is for the boat to take him and Bruce and Sally to their breakfast in bed. You think a SUPER genius like Aras would know to play it cool. Aras IS worried, "The challenge yesterday revealed a smidge of my athletic ability and a whole lot more of my WIT. I am a highly intelligent semi-pro basketball player and yoga instructor. I was UC Irvine's Intramural "Cranium" champion for three semesters. I'm afraid my highly complex plot to put more coconuts in that one boat than in the other may have put a target on my back." Fate seems to have outwitted Aras, when he and Sally and Bruce endure a soggy boat ride over to a waterlogged sandbar, only to discover that their Reward bed has been left open to the elements and is soaking wet. This seemed a little low-rent, a little amateur hour, for our friends at "Survivor." What, La Mina had your only tarp? So, it starts off rocky, but once the food starts flowing, nobody minds the damp. Everyone pigs out on bacon, muffins, juice--you know, breakfast. Bruce raves, "It was bittersweet, because two of our friends had to be on Exile Island, where, I Bruce, fought many battles. Exile Island is the final resting spot of hundreds of my imaginary foes, defeated through my mastery of the ancient martial art known as KUH! RAH! TAY! I then became King of Exile Island, and so I have truly earned this breakfast, fit for a king. And I will eat more bacon than Aras, and I shall eat more fruit than Sally. I will out-eat them all!" Sally too is enjoying herself, "I never thought I could be cold and wet and in a bed with two strange men and feel soooo comfortable," she gushes. I sure hope her religious and judgmental parents aren't watching...

Back at camp, while Courtney and Cirie lounge in the shelter, Terry tries once again to get info from Shane, "Why did Aras send Danielle instead of Courtney or Cirie, because he thinks she can handle it better than they could?" Away from Aras' mind-control, Shane is surprisingly chatty. "Probably," he answers and then goes on to casually answer Terry's question about who's gonna be in the Final Four: Him, Aras, Courtney and Cirie. Is this true? I dunno. At the Barbecue Of Chaosa Love, Shane told Dani that she was the most important person on the Island to him. Was he lying to her, to placate her, or is he misinforming Terry? Terry doesn't think so, "I was able to use my considerable charm and information-gathering skills to gain the very valuable knowledge, that Bruce and Danielle are next on the chopping block, after Austin and Sally. And me, of course, if I were to ever be without Immunity, but, who are we kidding, I got Immunity in my pocket and in my future every time I compete against these wimpy civilians. That's just simply never gonna happen." Then, Aras, Bruce and Sally make a quicker-than-expected return (sans food for the others) and eagerly answer everyone's questions about how great the food was. This happens every season, and even though it makes the winners look like jerks, the losers really do seem to want to hear about everything. As jealous as it makes them to hear it, it is a new story, and when you've been without TV, radio, books, newspapers, and magazines for three weeks, you get kinda desperate. Cirie tries to keep a smile off of her bitter face as Bruce talks about becoming dizzy from bacon-consumption, and then Sally recalls how she had to stop herself at 15 slices of bacon because she just couldn't eat anymore, and shows everyone her bloated tummy. "Those are quality problems," Shane quips, to Cirie's amusement...and, admittedly, to mine. Meanwhile, Austin and Danielle endure two nights of shivering hell on Exile Island. They have no shelter and no fire and they just huddle together and, according to them, forge a very close bond. It wasn't the kind that translates to good television though, so we just get a couple shots of them each saying, "This sucks," as they huddle under a towel.

Later that day, a bummed Sally goes off to fetch water with Terry. She's sad because Chaosa seems really tight and her team seems destined to be voted off one by one. So Sally starts to wonder aloud to Terry about who would get the Immunity Idol if Austin and Danielle found it together, which is actually, a rather interesting question, but a moot one, as Terry finally reveals to someone that he has the Idol, "I've always had it. Are you kidding me? The "why" tree? I found it in 20 seconds, Misty and Bruce must both be morons." Sally is beside herself with glee, "This is SO exciting, it's like and ace in the hole for our team. If Terry wins Immunity, he can slip either Austin or I the Idol and we can turn the tables on the others! The game has completely changed!" Oh, Sally. Poor, naive, little Sally...

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE

The Gypsies gather for the Immunity challenge, and to welcome back the battered and miserable AUstin and Danielle from Exile. Neither of them shows any interest in putting on a brave face the way Bruce and Terry always did, "It was the worst experience of my life," Austin shutters, as Dani nods her head in wan agreement. The challenge is a super-cool multi-part challenge. First, all 9 remaining Survivors must dig their way through sand, to crawl under a wood fence. The first six to do so will move on. Aras is the first person to get the top half of his body through, but he soon finds himself stuck. Jeff speculates that his butt's too big, waaah waaah. Sally is the first to get her entire body thru, followed by Danielle, Courtney, Terry, Shane and Austin. Aras throws a little hissy fit as he leaves the challenge early--way to demonstrate that wit and athleticism (shades of Heidi, ay?). Bruce must be saving the whole "beat them all in competition" thing for later, I guess. The next part is in two stages: the Survivors must complete a brain-teaser in which they move some colored rocks until they are in a certain order. Once they do that, Jeff clears them to crawl thru an obstacle course maze type thing. The first three to finish move on to the next phase, and those three are, not coincidentally, I'm sure, the three people who conceivably need Immunity tonight: Austin, Sally and Terry. Then the three of them have to use two planks to cross a rope bridge, run up a sand hill and jump in this horrible looking water. Austin's muscles twitch from his exhausting stay on Exile Island, and he falls too far behind the always-dominant Terry and the surprisingly awesome Sally. Finally, Sally and Terry race thru this neat-o jungle gym contraption, and Terry beats Sally by maybe two or three seconds, and Terry once-again basks in the glow of Double Immunity. And I was mightily bummed. Sally came so close, and now Austin's fate was sealed. Even so, the episode got very, very interesting...

ALL HECK BREAKS LOOSE (SORTA)

Danielle returns to the fold very bent of shape about Aras sending her to Exile, and tries to impress upon him how horrible an experience it was for her. No one seems all that sympathetic, which is one of the risks you run when you start running with sociopaths. Aras insists, "I sent you because you're tough as nails, D. You should be flattered--you should be thanking me, really!" A fuming Dani does not seem to be drinking Aras's kool-aid anymore. Down the beach, Terry is shrugging off any and all praise for winning Immunity again, "Oh, It was fun," he chuckles. Terry is good with the mind-game. He's not suffering, he's not even really working--unlike the rest of you saps. And you know, I'm sure, as a military guy, this is probably not the hardest 20 days of Terry's life. He's quite pleased with himself, "I'm outta hot water, and now I can use my pocket Idol as a big hunk of bait." Which is...one way to go, and it is interesting. I think in Terry's mind, he doesn't want to blow the Idol without getting some kind of assurance--he's really married to the concept that he can be captain of his fate, controller of his destiny or whatever, so he's not gonna use the Immunity JUST to oust one of his enemies, he's gonna do it to bind someone to his cause. When he talks about "his team," he really looks at himself as the driver and Sally and Austin as the pit crew. He now wants to bribe someone into being loyal to him. This all makes sense to Terry, who doesn't view himself as having betrayed Ruth-Marie, or having broken his bond with Dan when he'd outlived his usefulness, nor does he have ANY regrets about not using his Idol to save true blue Nick (who'd be a better ally than anyone he hopes to lure into betraying their preexisting promises). You see what I'm saying? Saving one of his loyal henchman seems like a better use of resources than bribing someone to betray someone else, establishing the fact that they'll betray people. Sigh.

So first, Terry let's Austin know he has the idol, and Austin reaffirms his burning man-crush for Terry, "Have I told you lately what a stud you are? You're a total stud!" Sally agrees--neither of them even brings up the question, "Why didn't you use it save Nick, then we'd only need to flip one person." Terry revels in the praise he's grown accustomed to. Then he and Austin corner Bruce in the shelter and reveal Shane's "alleged" pecking order and once again promise him "final five," if they can flip Danielle. They don't even give him "final four" over Dani, either, it's "be our tool, not theirs." Bruce seems to buy all this, telling us he trusts Terry (good luck with that) and that if Shane's pecking order is true, than his tribe "broke trust" with him. Which makes me really curious about what Bruce has actually been told, because my understanding was that Bruce was very aware of the psychotic joke alliance--maybe he was at least assured by someone that he'd go before Cirie? I think he's just feeling disrespected again, and referring to all that "you're our leader" bullhonkey he doesn't really believe, yet indulges himself in. And because of his own honor code, he feels he needs to establish some sort of rule violation before he turns on his original tribe, no matter how unwelcoming they've been to him. He tells Terry that he'll never betray him, and Terry tells us that Bruce is on board PROVIDED that Danielle agrees to flip. It does not appear as though Bruce knows about the Idol, so already, Terry's all about honesty...to a point.

Meanwhile, things are getting tense in the power clique as they call a much quieter team meeting than last time, to decide who's going home. Interestingly enough, "leader" Bruce doesn't get the memo this time. Courtney think it's a no-brainer--it's going to be Austin, as they've been saying for the last three days. Aras stuns her by insisting that SALLY has to go. I hate to give any credit to Aras's wit, but see, Aras, unlike Terry, DOES know what to do with the Immunity Idol. He knows that the Immunity Idol is a weapon as well as a shield, and that it can be used to keep Terry or Austin in the game while giving Aras or Shane the boot, as the second-highest vote-getter (as Shane was last time). Aras's plan anticipates Terry and his team assuming the vote is going against Austin, leaving Sally unprotected. It's exactly the right strategy at this stage IF you're Aras or Shane. Courtney though, refuses to go along with it, "Man, this is like, an individual game right now, man. Like, Terry isn't gonna like, give that Idol to like, somebody else, man." Which WE know is true, because we know how self-interested Terry is. Courtney then turns her back on Aras and walks away, shouting, "I'm not going along with your stupid idea!" This infuriates Aras, who's used to being obeyed with out question at Chaosa, and he storms after her, "You show me some respect! Why aren't you doing as you're told! Damn all that bacon, it has weakened my powers!" He's bent because she called HIM stupid, though actually she said it about his plan. Same thing to the sensitive would-be cult leader. Cirie steps in, and pushes Aras gently back towards the fire, "You go cool off by the fire, baby, I got this," she soothes. Then she plays sounding board for the irate Courtney and troubled Danielle, and now we see how Cirie has gone from forgone conclusion to dark horse spoiler: by being everyone's friend, the sane one who never seems to have her own issues and is more than happy to help you deal with yours. Coupled with her lack of athletic ability, she certainly isn't anywhere near the top of anyone's hit list. Nicely played.

Anyway, all the girls seem freaked out at Aras' rage, having fallen for his Mr. Nice Guy bullcrap all this time--granted, it's easy to look reasonable when the other two men in your tribe are an erratic tree stump-hoarding maniac jerkface and an egotistical rock-gardening loner prone to extended imaginary combat with the Panamanian air. Courtney is certain that the REAL reason Aras wants Sally gone is that he's fearful of an all-female alliance, and it probably is in the back of Aras' head. Courtney casually tells us, "Like, look, mans, if Austin like, HAS the Idol...like, I'm sorry but like, Aras has to like, go at like, some point." America squeals in delight. Aras meanwhile, is smiling thru the rage, still trying to charm us, but he's very, "Hey Christine, we should hang out more, you're great, you're pretty, can I copy your History homework, I TOTALLY forgot to do it, you'd be saving my LIFE." If you do indeed find yourself being swayed by Aras', I'd recommend wrapping tinfoil on your head first, before you go to all the trouble and expense of hiring a professional deprogrammer. Aras insists, "Unlike me, Courtney hasn't shown one bit of intelligence since we've been out here and it's interesting that the two Chaosa guys aren't being protected by their women. They're either fools or they...and I find this almost impossible to fathom...but it's almost like, they wouldn't mind if Shane or I went home before they did...as though, they're actually trying to play this game for themselves? Nah..." Back in the shelter, Terry and Austin snuggle up to Danielle and offer her *drum roll* fifth place, same as Bruce. SO they haven't decided who they'd dump first, so that's why they're being honest, i.e. insulting, by offering Danielle Final Five--when that's PROBABLY where she stands, worst case scenario, in her own tribe! To sweeten the deal, Terry promises to give her the Idol, which he shows to her, if she joins forces with them. *America, the Beautiful starts playing* "Danielle," Terry assures her, "I went to the Naval Academy and there, no one ever lies, cheats or steals. There's a lot of violent and homoerotic hazing and some sexual harassment, sure, but again, no lying, cheating or stealing. So you KNOW you can trust me, hot pants." Danielle goes off to think on it, telling us, "Ah don' tink ah can trust ARRRS, y'now what ah'm sayin? An' gettin' duh Immunity Item at dis stage uh duh game could be a real lifesavuh--ah could really change dis game around tuhnight and turn it intuh somethin' totally suhprisin' y'know?" I swear, she really did call it the Immunity ITEM. The Psychotic Joke meets one more time to try to get a consensus and Courtney again balks at voting for Sally. Aras is concerned about the possibility of "Getting a Whammy" at Tribal Council-a very apt reference, I thought. At the La MENa meeting, Austin suggests to Terry, "You should give the Idol to me or Sally if we don't get anybody to join us." Terry smiles, "Uh...I'll uh...let's see what happens, I'll get back to you on that. Be sure to leave your resume with my assistant, Sally." Sally frowns, "What the hell?" "Ssshh, Sally, I'm in a meeting with Austin here. Game stuff, man stuff. Hold all my coconut-phone calls."

TRIBAL COUNCIL

Jeff opens up the meeting by asking Aras about his strategy to load up Terry, Shane and Austin's boat with coconuts, and to convince the girls to do the same. "Well, Jeff, the team with the three athletic guys on it clearly had the advantage, so I used my superior deductive skills to formulate an intricate plot by which both my team and the all-girls team had a completely even shot at the reward." Cirie doesn't let him get away with that, "Oh, It gave YOU a huge advantage and you know it," she scoffs. Aras doesn't seem upset by Cirie's calling him on this, probably because despite his better judgement that's telling hi to fly under the radar, he craves acknowledgement. Aras then admits to Jeff he does feel exposed because if the Idol comes into play, he could be going home. Austin smiles at this, giving America the false hope that Tribal Council is going to live up to the pre-vote hype and be mildly interesting. It isn't. Austin and Dani blandly reiterate the you-had-to-be-there bond they forged on Exile Island, and Shane gives one of those Christopher Lloyd in Back to the Future looks of his that could mean he's worried about Dani's loyalty or, just as likely, that he's having some kind of digestive issue. Jeff asks Courtney if she's worried that some in the Psychotic Joke (and Cirie and Bruce) might be looking ahead, past the Final Six, and thinking of making a move now, "Like, I think, like anyone playing this, like, game for real is gonna like, look---" Shane interrupts, "Jeff, I'm gonna butt in here right now since you keep FRICKIN' IGNORING ME, DUDE!! I'm worried about the hidden Immunity Idol too, man!" Now it's Terry's turn to give us a smug little smirk, for some unknown reason, since he has no intention of using it tonight. More false hope. Dani says she goes with her gut when it comes to voting, which gives us no clue, and then Bruce just come sright out and says, "It's been in my head this whole time that my friends could be setting me up but right now, I appreciate the six that I'm with." So right then we knew Bruce wasn't gonna lie unnecessarily, so he wasn't flipped and Dani wouldn't flip without the numbers, so Austin is doomed unless (sigh) Terry gives him the Immunity Idol, or the Joke votes for Sally. They don't. They all vote for Austin, while Aras gets three meaningless votes--meaningless because Terry does not give Austin the Idol to deflect his own votes. It WAS fun watching Shane and Aras sweat, at least, and it's more than a little frightening that COURTNEY was exactly right about how the night would and should go down. In his exit Interview, Austin continues to sing the praises of "super human" Terry, and is rooting for him to win it all. Oh, Austin.

Austin is voted out in 9th place, and becomes the first member of the Exile Island Jury. Our first first juror was witty Greg, the only contestant to actually use the coconut-phone in real life. In Australia, we lost tough-tawkin' finger-wavin' Alicia and in Africa, we said goodbye to catty Kelly, who was as stunned as the rest of us when Lex went on a witch hunt over one stupid vote cast against him. He wrongly blamed Kelly, and she was history. In the Marquesas, this was that wonderful point in the game when Neleh and Pappy realized that they were low on their alliance's pecking order, so they flipped things up and ousted arrogant and weepy John in a delicious stunner. In Thailand, busty Erin was the first of many unmemorable people to leave Survivor Thailand, the season that almost killed the show. In the Amazon, the season that SAVED the show, Dave the clueless rocket-scientist crashed and burned, and in the Pearl Islands, Ryan-O, friend of the Pelicans, departed the competition. In Vanuatu, Sarge was betrayed by Twila, who reneged on HER son's-name-swear to link back up with Evil Ami's sisterhood, while in Palau, Coby self-destructed and engineered an early ouster by plotting against Tom and Ian a bit too soon. Last season, Sweet Bobby Jon left the game--but not our hearts--when Gary showed up at Tribal council with that season's Hidden Immunity Idol.

EVICTED SURVIVOR FUN FACT

Austin Carty is indeed a published author--you can check out some reviews of his tear-jerker novel "Somewhere Beyond Here," at amazon.com. They're pretty good, though most of them are rather suspiciously from his home state of North Carolina. One of his non-fans accuses him of having an oedipal complex.

Next up: Well. Presumably someone's gonna be carted off on a stretcher and someone's gonna go to the Panama Canal. Eventually. Maybe. The scenes show Terry rubbing his athletic prowess in Shane and Aras's faces. It'll be interesting to see if Dani tells anyone that Terry has the Idol--I don't see it being to her advantage to do so. By not giving the Idol to Nick and Austin, Terry has perhaps created reasonable doubt over whether he has the Idol. What Terry fails to grasp is, it wasn't in anyone's interest to go to his side when he was in charge and calling the shots, and his dutiful servants, Austin and Nick were still in the picture. But it would be something all together to do it now, now that you're looking at Final Four situation--in fact, the Idol could be used to backdoor someone, to use some Big Brother lingo :) If they can just keep Immunity from Terry (no easy feat), someone could get Terry and Sally, say to vote for Shane, and then Terry saves himself with the Idol and Shane goes without ever KNOWING it was engineered by Aras or Dani or whoever. Also, the possibility of a women's alliance is indeed starting to emerge. The show began with a purge of the ladies, but we are now tied up at 4-4 in the battle of the sexes because none of the men are looking at any of the women as threats right now. But...who are we kidding. Sally's probably doomed--I hope not, but we all know that if Terry was not willing to part with his precious Idol for his men, he sure as hell ain't wasting it on some dame. Maybe Sally can win Immunity and REALLY throw this game in an uproar? She came dang close tonight...

Peace!

Christine :)