Survivor 12.4 "Apparantly, I got some Jesus of Nazareth-like powers myself."

LIFE AT LA MENA

Yeah, I can't belive it took me this long to change "La Mina" into La MENa either. THings are rough--everyone's hungry. Sally feels doomed after Misty's shocking-only-to-her ouster of Misty last night, so she's trying to be as helpful around camp as she can be. It seems like a mute gesture though, as Dan offers a grateful Ruth Marie the fifth-place spot in the guy's alliance. Dan is certain this is the only way to go, because Sally feels like an outsider, and will drop the guys "like a stone" once the tribes merge. And why shouldn't she, if 5th place is as far as they're willing to let her go? These are two very different tribes, but both have shown why it's so hard to be "honest." Because if you're 100% honest in the game and reveal your alliances, then you give the rest of the group reason and time to plot against you.

DRAMA AT CHAOSA

I just have to give the tribes fake names--it's a crutch. Bruce, Aras and Shane come back after collecting snails and see Courtney has been doing yoga instead of tending the fire, which is out. Danielle and Bobby are asleep in the shelter, as Cirie comes into camp with an armful of firewood. Aras asks why their isn't water boiling on the fire and Courtney shrugs, "Like, we were like sort of out of like, fire when I got here. Like, how's the fish?" The hunters are rankled and Aras rousts the sleepers and calls a tribe meeting he titles "Work Effort at Camp." It doesn't go over very well. Courtney's all, "Like, that like, KILLS me, I'm like, working all the time!" Then he wonders if she would go to sleep with no fire at camp if he, Bruce and Shane were all voted off the island and Courtney shrugs, "Like, I think that whole question is like kinda stupid." Which it is and though I understand Aras's frustration, to her credit, Courtney DID get the fire re-started while this snipe session was taking place, so where's the harm? It's not like there's an expiration date on that bag of snails. Aras then complains to us about how Courtney drives him nuts and he regrets giving his word to her so early in the game. Yep, that was kinda stupid, wasn't it? Aras claims he'd throw a challenge just to get rid of her. I'll believe it when I see it. Enjoying all of this is the designated-next-to-go Cirie, who knows that the discord in the alliance can only work to her benefit so she's employing the solid strategy of working hard and staying out of the drama. I think the jury's still out on whether it'll work though, because Shane and Aras seem hung up on "their words." C'mon people, it's Survivor!

REWARD AND REVENGE

When the tribes gather at the Reward Beach, Courtney seems to smile at Misty's ouster which is interesting--who knew there was tension there? Today, the teams are playing for a Deluxe Survivor Bathroom, complete with a toilet seat, a camp shower, 5 gallons of fresh water, a loofa, some soap and a whole lot of Charmin toilet paper to "take the edge off," as Jeff so colorfully puts it *shudder*. Wiping with leaves: reason 18 I will never go on Survivor. The contest is another closely contested one: one member swims out to sea and unhooks a giant puzzle piece (oh, how they love their puzzle pieces) which they then have to drag into this ring. Once the piece is in the ring, they hang out while the next person dives in and so on, until all the pieces are in the ring. Once the pieces are all in the ring, they can start solving the puzzle. Once again, it's neck and neck all the way and Chaosa wins by the skin of their teeth. That means they get to send one of La MENa over to Exile Island and naturally they choose the group's undisputed leader, Terry.

LOSERS AND LOSERS

When everyone gets back to La MENa, Dan announces to everyone, "When Terry comes back, he's gonna be PROUD of the way this camp looks." Uh...okay. I mean, I love Terry too, and I get he rules, but sometimes Dan and Austin get a little...weird and creepy with the admiration. Anyway, without Terry there to tell everyone what they should be doing, they immediately start running off in separate directions, with Ruth Marie advocating eating first, Nick wanting them to get firewood and Austin wanting to take a nap. Austin then laments being without Terry to boss him around. It's really quite pathetic, no wonder these guys keep losing...

At Chaosa, of course, even winning has to spark some sort of drama, and it quickly does. The gang arrives to find that the Survivor PA's have erected an old-time outhouse dubbed "Casa de Charmin" and Danielle informs us they also got "foh bahs a' sohp." Aras immediately suggests they use the outhouse to store things they need to keep dry, like firewood towels and clothes, but Bobby is determined to break in the toilet part of the equation because he needs to "drop a deuce," as in "go number two" as in "ewww, too much information." Danielle gripes, "He's not a gentleman, I can't stand people like that." Then Bobby comes out and declares that he feels "10 pounds lighter," which, I'm sorry to go there, but it begs the question, what the hell has Bobby been eating, mega snails? Of course, no one actually confronts Bobby about this--it's not lost on any of us that Shane and Aras seem to love criticizing and berating the women in their tribe, but leave the big, black guy alone, even though he's clearly at least as much of a camp-life liability as Courtney and Danielle are. So instead of calling Bobby on his illegal dumping (and really...couldn't they still store wood in there? I mean, how dainty are they?) Aras reminds everyone they've won two challenges in a row and then SHane exults in the fact that Terry will be returned to his tribe in a weakened state do his time in Exile, "Terry's in hell," he chuckles.

TERRY'S NOT SO DIFFICULT TIME IN EXILE

Terry climbs atop the giant skull and gets all the clues about where to find the Immunity Idol--it's buried under a rock above the tide line and he must ask himself "why" fate chose him to be on the Island. Terry deduces that a "Y" shaped tree may be the site under which the Idol is buried. And, ahem, you may recall I came to that very same conclusion myself just last week, not to brag or anything. Oh okay, I'm totally bragging--I mean, the rocket scientist didn't figure it out nor did Bruce 'I'm an expert in everything except apparently riddles." But I did! Anyway, Terry starts using his machete to dig for the idol as the most kick-ass owl in the history of owls rolls his head as if to say, "Oh no he di-n't just find the Immunity Idol! HooT!" And he does! Of course it's a shrunken head, and Terry reads the information that it can be used up to and thru the Final Four with some surprise--I think they were told it wasn't good after the Final Four--maybe the owner has that little extra info as an advantage, or maybe bother Terry and I misheard but either way, it's cool that Terry has the Idol, thanks Shane! I'm curious and excited about all the questions this raises. First of all, now that the Idol has been found, will this information be shared with the next inhabitants? Will they then know Terry's secret? Or will the show deceive them into trying to still look for it. It'd be pretty easy to give them crap clues--only Bruce knows what the clues originally looked like. Hmmm. The best part of all this, and I hope this actually happens, is, since Terry can use the Idol after the vote, he can turn the tables on those who are against him, because the second-highest vote-getter goes out in his place. Meaning, if the tribes merge evenly or even if La MENa merge at a numbers disadvantage, La MENa would benefit from the VERY likely scenario of Chaosa targeting Terry. Then he produces the Idol and the person who goes home winds up being whomever La MENa has voted for. It is most intriguing and I hope they didn't just show Terry finding it because it doesn't play out in an interesting way...

DANIELLE, PLEASE DON'T MAKE US AGREE WITH SHANE

No, really don't do it, don't...ah crap. So, the fire at Chaosa keeps going out because the fire pit is in such a damp spot, so Aras and Shane decree that it should be moved closer to the shelter,, and they pick the spot. Aras and Shane then start to gather rocks and whatnot for the fire pit while Cirie starts digging a new hole. Aras complains to us that the only way anything gets done at camp is by him and Shane bossing everyone around--Cirie works hard, but that's about it (I presume he's not complaining about Bruce either). So, as Cirie digs, Danielle just literally stands there watching so Shane strolls up and wonders, "So Danielle, Shane wants to know why you have such an aversion to working," and Danielle gets defensive and claims that she works all the time and Shane claims that everybody thinks she's lazy but he's the only one brave or bad-ass or real or whatever to say it to her face. Danielle then points out that Bobby sleeps all day *cut to: Bobby sleeping* and Shane is all, "We're not talking about Bobby, he's a big black dude that could kick Shane's ass! We're talking about you, missy!" Danielle sneers, "If ya gonna be a [bleep] about it, whatevuh." Quite the snappy comeback. Aras then chimes in telling Danielle that he agrees with Shane, and Dani starts listing all the chores she routinely does and then accuses of Shane of doing more bossing then actual work and then he gets indignant and asks Cirie for her opinion, and she later regrets saying that Dani does stuff, but not as much as others, which sounded pretty fair to me, Cirie. Cirie then calls the Aras/Shane/Danielle/Courtney alliance "some kind of psychotic joke," a name which I think will probably stick, and laughs with glee at the seemingly crumbling alliance. Danielle digs a couple shovels of sand and then stomps off.

I'D RATHER BE SPEAR FISHING

Meanwhile, snail stew ain't cuttin' it at the weary Terryless La MENa tribe. a group of fish jumps out of the water to taunt Nick as he once again fails to catch fish using that spool-thing. AUstin wonders how fishing can be SO hard and Nick sighs, 'We really suck at fishing." The fire also keeps dying and there's no "Super Terry" to magically keep it going (Yes, Austin literally calls him Super Terry) and then to top it all off, it starts dumping rain on them. The overall weakened state of the tribe particularly alarms Sally, "I we lose again it's my butt on line--I'm the one who's gonna go home!" And if you hadn't lost the spear, they'd all be eating better and have more energy, Sally.

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE

Terry makes his triumphant return, looking no worse for wear and chipper and referring to his Exile as "peaceful." The challenge itself is kinda complicated: One person (Danielle and Ruth Marie) sits on a chair attached to a water bucket pulley system thing. That bucket is filled by another person (Cirie and Nick) who gets their bucket of water sent up to them by two pairs of people (Austin and Sally/Dan and Terry vs. Shane and Courtney, Bruce and Aras) who have to walk across a series of balance beams carrying buckets of water to get them to their team. Once the seat-bucket is filled, the chair will raise and the person on the chair grabs this ring that releases a flag. Complicated, I know, and yet again, it's super close though it does seem to hinge on a blunder by Austin, who blows a slight lead going in by pouring his tribe's water sloooooowly and carefully while Shane and Courtney just toss theirs in as quick as possible, and in the end, Chaosa wins yet again (Shane and Courtney even share an enthusiastic hug). I can't remember when so many challenges were this close, it's amazing, and yet La MENa is looking at a three challenge losing streak and yet another eviction. Oh, and the well-rested Bobby sat out the challenge and you know, you can't sit out the same person in back-to-back challenges even though I SWEAR they did in the Amazon.

LOYALTY: SURVIVOR STYLE

I was bummed when La MENa lost, because I pretty much like everyone on La MENa, although the only person at Chaosa who I like is Cirie, who's marked for death so it's kinda lose-lose for now. Also, it seemed so obvious that Sally was gonna go, I thought it would be a pretty boring lead-up to Tribal Council. Boy, was I wrong! First of all, everyone gushes about Terry's return, and they all take comfort in his competent bossing. They ask him about his search for the Idol, but no one comes out and asks him if he found it--which is an unspoken, but natural kind of Survivor etiquette: I think everyone knows if THEY found it, they'd want to keep it a secret, so they're setting a precedent. Austin feels Sally's ouster is inevitable, and he's not happy about it. Sally goes to the guys and tells them she knows there's an alliance, she respects them, but she needs them to know she's got "game" left in her. She leaves, and Austin begins to lobby Terry to keep Sally instead of Ruth Marie. Austin feels that Sally is a more valuable competitor at challenges, and they can't afford to lose another Immunity. At one point, Ruth Marie overhears them talking and they change the subject to make it seem like they're talking about the game in general, 'Shane Dawg's a better athlete than I would have thought," etc. The other tribe referred to Bobby as Bob Dawg earlier today--I think that's the scariest thing about the potentially all-male Survivor we have looming before us: A whole lot of stupid nicknames, bro. So, Austin and Terry rather conveniently agree that since Dan was the only one who shook hands with Ruth Marie, he's the only one that actually promised her anything, so they can now throw her over for Sally without actually "betraying" her. Austin is surprised at how quickly Terry goes for his idea, "I thought it would take a 'water into wine' type of miracle to pull Terry into taking Sally as our 5th. Apparently, I got some Jesus of Nazareth-like powers myself." Yeah. He really said that. I...hope he was being facetious, but...I'm kinda not sure.

Dan is of course profoundly disappointed in this development, and in Terry, who loses a bit of his Super Terry luster as he shrugs, "Your word is your bond, I get that, but we didn't promise Ruth anything--you did." "I just can't believe how quickly it falls apart," Dan says sadly. Dan insists this is a HUGE mistake, that Sally will jump ship as soon as she can. Austin argues that Sally wants to be a part of the game so bad that she WILL be loyal, but Dan thinks that Sally would easily be able to say that betrayal is a part of the game, whereas Ruth would "fall on her sword before she goes back on her word." Which is kind of a compliment, but kind of not. It sounds great, and Dan certainly means it as high praise, but it's very self-serving. He sees Ruth Marie as a "team player," who would sacrifice her shot at the million dollars to keep her word--and thus further the men's chance at the million dollars which they have flat-out said she has no chance at with them. They are the Final Four, and Ruth and Sally should be "moral" enough to keep their word and be happy with 5th place, only moving further in the event of winning Immunity. It's a very one-sided deal. Nick, who is so good-looking I keep being surprised at how decent a guy he seems to be, isn't happy with the choice made by Terry and Austin, and he derides the "easy, hollow rationalization" about Dan and only Dan's handshake. "Ruth Marie is a part of the five of us, and I don't want to turn against that," he sighs--Nick is decent, but kind of wishy-washy. You KNOW he's gonna do whatever Terry and Austin say. As they head to Tribal, Sally rolls her eyes at her predicament: waiting for the big, strong men, to decide her and Ruth's fate, while Ruth is cautiously optimistic, since she DOES have that promise from Dan...

TRIBAL COUNCIL

Terry calls Exile Island a unique experience he doesn't want to have again. I wish the experience was more telegenic, because I don't think they've captured how it's harder than normal tribe-life. Maybe it's because Bruce and Terry are such tough cookie's though--we really want to see someone like Shane over there and have a meltdown, and that was never gonna happen with Top Gun and Mr. Miyagi. Austin once again expresses his deep appreciation for Terry's natural leadership, and then Jeff inserts himself into the dynamic a bit, praising Sally for her "superior" game play during the challenge today. I have no complaints about Sally's performance, but since she was tethered to Austin the whole time, I don't see how she could possibly be seen as "superior" to anyone. She makes her case by stating, "My best days out here are when we compete." To his credit (though the Jesus thing is still freaking me out a bit) Austin admits he screwed up at the challenge when he poured his water too slowly and lost the teams tiny lead. Ruth Marie acknowledges that she's small and "twice as old" as Sally. If she's voted out, she says she may not be missed tomorrow, but "I'm steady, steady, steady and I get better as I go along. And I'm LOYAL. That may show up later." Dan nods in agreement, but he's the only one. Ruth Marie goes out 4-2, with Dan sticking to his word and Nick going which way the wind blows. In her exit, Ruth has no hard feelings, she knows it's a game, and she wishes her team well. That's two classy exits in a row--I'm beginning to forget what show I'm watching...

Ruth Marie is voted out in 13th place. She joins Ramona, who got sick and was betrayed by Poor Jenna, her first, and possibly last, white friend. In the Outback, Sickly skinny Mitch was booted in a pivotal power struggle that saved Keith, weakened Jerri and paved the way for Colby and Tina to go all the way to the end. In Africa, Linda was yet another victim of the young slacker necklace gang, but not before she uttered one of our all-time favorite Survivor lines: "Did your momma nevuh hug ya?" In the Marquesas, a tribe shake-up led to stacked Sarah's ouster, to Chachi's chagrin and in Thailand, loud Ghandia, the Denver Diva was sent packing--after we had to endure all that unpleasantness about the ,er, "grinding." In the Amazon, we lost Joanna--you remember, the woman who thought possessing the Immunity Idol violated the Ten Commandments? In the Pearl Islands, the good people got rid of arrogant bully Burton, but sadly, he'd be allowed back in the game in the WORST TWIST EVER. In Vanuatu, good ol' Bubba fell victim to the Ami's all-female agenda and in Palau, the much tattooed Angie was booted as Steph's tribe continued it's historic losing streak. Last season, Nurse Margaret was let go after a shake-up gave Judd the power to get rid of her (and yell at her a lot as he did so).

EVICTED SURVIVOR FUN FACT
A one-time narcotics officer, Ruth Marie was also crowned Miss South Carolina Watermelon Queen in 1978. Ya gotta love it!

Next Up: If there's no shake-up (and my money's on us having at least one more), Sally is obviously doomed at La MENa. At Chaosa, It seems like Courtney's days are numbered, but if the boys stick to their word, I still see Cirie going--until the game becomes individual, they want to use Bobby's brute strength at challenges and Bruce's hard work around camp. I'm rather curious about what an all-male Survivor would be like, and so far, we're on pace for it. If it's gonna happen, it may as well happened this season, where Cirie is the only woman I'm really pulling for. The decision on both tribes to make early and obvious alliances might give their team merging WITHOUT numbers a huge advantage--you potentially have Bruce, Bobby, Cirie and Sally willing and perhaps even EAGER to flip sides at the Merge--that is, if any of them make it that far...

Peace Out! :D

Christine