Survivor 8.11 Kath still has "no support"

I don't know if you all remember Kathy wailing about how she had "no support here!!!" in the Marquesas, but I do. I loathed scary KrAzY kAtH from the get-go...and then...over time...I grew to love her. I was devesatated when she biffed the final immunity contest (taking her hand off the pole to fix her shirt when Neleh pointed out she was exposing her cleavage). But I gotta say, Kath lost me this go-around when she was so cold about Sue's meltdown. So I'm like, "Meh." Not a lot actually happened this week either--certainly very little drama...

I HATE A RAINY NIGHT

Night at Chatanooga Choo Choo. The gang returns from Tribal Council to find their fire has been swept out to see. Turns out the Yogi's didn't suck as much as we thought, given the sucky piece of real estate they had to defend. Amber tells us, "Tribal Council is ALWAYS hard, but it was even harder than normal because like, I suffered two votes. Me. Amber. Yeah, I know, it's a crazy world we live in." Alicia worries about Kath's state of mind, as though she might have become blinded by rage and wandered off a cliff. Kath tells us, "I was gonna give my immunity to Lex, I really wanted to. But then I remembered that I came here to win the million dollars and it would be stupid to punt away a chance at it just to spite Boston Rob. He HAS a soul, somewhere. Unlike that bitch, Amber." Back at camp, Chachi assures his girl, "Ambuh, dose votes wuh meant fuh me." Amber rolls her eyes, "Um, DUH!" I wonder how long Amber's gonna stand for being Rob's stand-in at Tribal Council : every time he wins immunity, he leaves her waving in the wind. Chachi's alleged feelings are allegedly hurt by Lex's personal attacks on his character. Kath tries to make nice with Chachi, "Look, Lex had this crazy plan that you, me, him and Big Tom were all gonna be in the Final Four making the big money because he thought our friendship meant as much to YOU as it does to us. Obviously, we were wrong. Plus, he had a deal with Big Tom and I guess he assumed he had one with you. Then we found out you were a disloyal little jerk and we became enraged--what's not to understand?" Chachi is quite pleased that Lex exposed his alliance with Big Tom, "Yuh best friend sold ya out an' he don' even know 'e did!" I'm not a big Big Tom fan, but it's a little too "Minority Report" for Chachi to be targeting Tom because Tom WOULD have turned on him in favor of Lex at some point. How do we know what Tom would have done at the critical time? How do we know Lex wasn't as mistaken about Tom's loyalties as he was about Rob's? The next morning, it's still rainy and cold and no one got any slepp and they're all demoralized and they all miss their families. Which brings us to....

THE MASSIVELY LONG REWARD AND IMMUNITY CHALLENGE WITH THE LETTERS FROM HOME

Kath predicts, "I've got an "X" on my back. If I don't win immunity, I'm outta here." Yep. Jeff is a little smug as he unveils the Doozy Challenge: Two teams will compete in a brutal obstacle course (breaking stuff, balancing, digging, climbing, flying fox blah blah). The winning team of four wins their letters from home and a rain poncho and a chance to win Immunity immediately following, by solving a Thai puzzle. The first person to do that not only gets immunity, but they're the only person who gets to see their video over hot cocoa. Brutal.

Before the actual competition, Jeff shows everyone a minute or two from their tapes, and everyone cries. Amber sees her sister, baby neice and parents, Alicia sees her mom, whom she talks to every day in real life. Big Tom's son Bucky Bo is as incomprehensible as his daddy, which you may remember from Africa. I do give Big Tom props for leering after his own wife for a change and for saying that his son is his best friend. Aw shucks. The only non-moving tape is from Chachi's brother who does a very bad Don King impression to pump up Rob (it's always bad when you have to explain the impression). Shii Ann sniffles as she sees her parents, "They would be as surprises as the rest of America if they knew I'd made it this far." After Kath's son Partick (aka AJ Soprano) tells his mom to bring him the million dollars, Kath overshares, "My son and my life coach were both very worried about my coming back here!" Yeah, yeah. Rupert is of course wrecked when he sees his rocker-babe wife and his adorable daughter. He expresses guilt for being away for so long, having done All-Stars right on the heels of Pearl Islands. Then Jeff reminds everyone that in the season one, Jenna was the only contestant who didn't get to see a fraagment of a video from home because her family didn't get it to them on time (as a former CBS mailroom clerk, I'm rather surprised this was never blamed on the CBS mailroom, as we were certainly blamed for everything else). He does a Ryan Seacrest-like fake-out by making her sweat for a second, "Wouldn't it be horrible if that happened again? Well....I'm verrrrryyyy....GLAD to say, you get to watch twenty seconds of your twin daughters this time!" Her daughers are just cute as can be. One of them signs something to her, and Jenna mentions this--does anyone know the significance of this? Is someone in Jenna's family deaf? Just wondering. I kinda wish Christy could have been on the Yogi's--she'd've fared far better if she had an interpreter for a while.

Then we have the really long challenge. We learn that Alicia and Rupert were made captains and they chose teams, but we don't get to see who got picked in what order, which I would've been interested to see. Rupert and Big Tom are on the same team, which I think might have cost them on the wall-climb, since they're the two heaviest dudes. It's fairly close, but Alicia's team of her, Chachi, Amber and Shii Ann wins. Onto the Immunity Puzzle, and Shii Ann wins because it's a PUZZLE, right? And she's SO good at those, RIGHT? Except she loses. To CHACHI. You know, I don't WANT him to win, but between his winning EVERYTHING and manipulating EVERYONE, it's hard to ignore the fact that it IS his game right now.

EVEN A BOSTON ROB IS RIGHT TWICE A DAY

Everyone returns to the A/V hut to watch Chachi's video and drink the hot chocolate. Chachi looks at the dejected faces of the losers and asks Jeff he could give up his video if it meant Jenna, Rupert, Kathy and Big Tom could read their letters. Jeff chuckles, "Well...that's a nice offer, and since I'd come off like a total bastard if I didn't agree to it...sure." Everyone rejoices and goes over to kiss Chachi's ring but he actually deflects their praise, "Youse guys wudda done da same thing," he insists. Shii Ann marvels at Chachi's heretofore hidden "strength of character" at first, but then quickly recants, "Sure, it was great, but also it was strategy." Everyone's energized and weepy over their families' encouragment. Rupert reads aloud a bit where his wife calls him "the dtrongest man," and he swells with prise, "Ah like that my wife an' kid thing I'm the strongest, toughest son of a bitch out there...even though I'm not. I'd like t' be." Aw hell. Here I was all hardened and sick of Rupert and then he goes and reminds me why I loved him so much in the first place. Go usurp Chachi, you old softie :) Shii Ann weeps, "It's important to remember the friends you have who AREN'T constantly trying to figure out a way to get rid of you!" They could do a whole line of Survivor greeting cards based on that theme. Chachi gets very emotional as he reads his letter, and declares, "AH don' remembuh da last time uh cried. Evuh!" My guess it was last October and Aaron Boone was involved. Chachi claims to be happy for everyone and laments the fact that his selfless action will be misinterpreted as purely a strategy move, then admits it WAS good, from a strategic standpoint. Kinder, gentler Chachi sobs, "Ah love muh family moh den anythin', moh den da money. Ah'm takin' a time out from muhself!" I think we ALL could use a time out from you, Chachi, so thanks. Seriously. I like not hating Boston Rob, it's exhausting.

LAST KATH

Kathy and Chachi come to a sort of truce in terms of their friendship back in the world, I guess. They agree they're square and then set off to destroy one another. Kath and Shii Ann dish the dirt as they go in search of water. Kath reasons, "It could be me or it could be you going tonight." Shii Ann laughs, "C'mon, Kathy, it's SO you." "Yeah." Bitter, bitter Kathy goes on and on about how the whole thing with the letters was strictly about manipulationg everyone, "I'm sure that way down deep in that empty cavity where most of us have hearts, he vaguely maybe didn't want us to die from the grief of being seperated from our families but MAINLY, it was about fooling these idiots into thinking he wasn't evil! If these lemmings were smart, they'd get rid of Rob RIGHT NOW!" Shii Ann reasons, "Uh, well Kath, he HAS had immunity since we've merged." Kath raves, "Stupid Jenna thinks she's Final Three and she is SO NOT Final Three-- I was Final Three, I should know." Shii Ann ventures, "It's not Jenna, it's Big Tom---" "No, it's NOT Big Tom and even HE'S not dumb enough to think that." She never DOES tell Shii Ann who she THINKS is their ideal Final Three...personally I think it IS Jenna. Kath sets out to tell everyone what they should be doing--everyone LOVES that, right?

Kath chats up Big Tom, "7 & 5, that's when you gotta make the big moves--that's when I did it, and it really worked. You never had to do it becasue Ethan and Lex were carrying you along the whole way in Africa, but in this game, you need to start reacting quicker, you big dummy. And don't let Jenna win!" "Sh' woh'" Now, Jenna's always kinda irritated me but after seeing her cute twins, all the anti-Jenna stuff ticked me off. She watches all the scrambling from the Chattanooga Clubhouse with a fretful Chachi and Amber. Chachi insists, "We got all ah stuff set up--ah hope dey try'n screw us, cuz it won' work!" How is trying to avoid elimination AT YOUR HANDS "tryin' tuh screw you," Chachi. Honestly. Everyone has just as much right to the million as you do. Shii Ann provides a sounding board for Alicia, who remains cool and stoic--she barely MOVES. I mean, she raises that one eyebrow and that's it, her lips don't even move when she talks as she mutters, "Rupert and Jenna are in our tribe but...I don't quite trust them." SHii Ann pshaws, "They're YOGI'S for crying out loud--we got rid of ours!" Alicia almost nods but not quite, "Jenna hella bugs." Shii Ann nods, "Word." Shii Ann says (claims?) that Rupert and Jenna approached her about targeting Alicia the first day she got there and a grim Alicia is not surprised, "Of course they did!" I don't hold out much hope that Alicia's gonna win Survivor but if I never need to storm a beach somewhere, I'd want Alicia at my side. Kath meanwhile is still on the lecture circuit, this time with Rupert, "7 & 5, that's the best time to make a big move in this game, which you wouldn't know anything about becasue you're a big loser who only made it to 8." Big Tom meanwhile is very up front with Shii Ann about his alliance with Chachi and Amber, and Shii Ann lays on the incredulity when Tom tells her they're bringing him to the Final Three.

Kath and Shii Ann have certainly thrown the camp into a tizzy. Chachi grills Alicia about her conversation with Shii Ann and Alicia shoots back, "Shii Ann has been talking alot with your boy Tom, maybe you should worry about that, Mister Plan Man. I don't trust any of you. And Jenna hella bugs." Jenna and Rupert watch as Kath, Shii Ann and Tom talk on the beach, "This HAS to be all about me, doesn't it? I don't think they'd be talking so much if they weren't agreeing to vote me out, and earlier? Alicia wouldn't even look me in the eye!" She then tells us, all clueless and smug, "Rob and Amber and Rupert and I have SUCH a strong alliance that we haven't even really bother to fool Big Tom or Alicia into thinking they have a shot at the Final Four, which could be really dangerous! This is what doomed me in the first season!" No it isn't. You're dumb tribe targeted one another instead of Hatch, allowing HIS alliance to pick you off one by one. Jenna hella bugs.

EVERYONE LOVES A QUIZ :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

The majority of voters felt that Lex's biggest mistake was his tattoo of an eightball with a knife though it. Tonight's Quiz Question:

It was recently announced by CBS that annoying ALLISON from "Big Brother 4" would be competing in the next season of "The Amazing Race," along with her boyfriend (surprisingly, he didn't dump her despite all her extracurricular snogging). What Survivor ALLIES would be the most annoying for you to watch as a team on "The Amazing Race"?

A) Brandon and Lindsay from Africa
B) Sean and Vecepia from Marquesas
C) Porn Star Brian and Clay from Thailand
D) Jenna and Heidi from the Amazon
E) I have an even worse possibilty (explain)

TRIBAL COUNCIL

Jeff calls in juror Lex, and he's shaved his head into a mohawk becasue he didn't have time to tattoo, "LOOK AT ME DAMMIT!!!!!" on his forehead. Jeff asks Kath how it can be that this season has had the most acrimony and yet, the closest bonds between friendships and of course, she takes the opportunity to indirectly indict Rob for his lack of loyalty. Big Tom says it's always hard to write someone's name down, but it's always better than seeing your own name come up. He says he wants to win, but he wants to win with class. Kathy beams, "Class? That's me! He's siding with me!" Chachi is tired of apologizing for playing to win, "ALl Stah is hahduh den othuh suhvivuh's cuz we got all dese freindships in real life...ah guess days no real ansuh. But win wit' class? What's class?" Oh, Chachi, it'd take so long to explain. Shii Ann lobbies to stick around longer, "Look, I know I'm gonna be the last of the Eggo's once you vote out Kathy but you need to be thinking about who you want to bring into the Final 3 who you can beat and that is sooooo me. I haven't won anything. EVER. Think about that." Kath tries one last time to hire herslef out as a consultant, "This game gets kuh RAY zee at 7 people guys, I mean, you don't even know. You don't know because most of you didn't get to 7 last time because you're losers. Amber did, but she's a big fat liar so who cares? Help me help you!"

Kathy is ousted 6-2, with Amber getting her and Shii Ann's votes. Shii Ann sobs as she watches her only true friend depart the game. In her exit, Kath laments stupidly trusting Chachi, and reminds us how she was robbed the first time around, which she was, but she needs to get past it. Like how I need to get past last night's American Idol results....seriously, what was UP with that?

What's next? I'd be surprised, however pleasantly, if Alicia and Rupert and Jenna would side with Shii Ann to topple Chachi and Amber, but ousting Shii Ann is simply the easist move for everyone. No one's sure where they stand, except that it's closer to Chachi than Shii Ann. Unless they topple Big Tom, the only remaining player in the game who's been to the Final Four. Six of the lowest seven finishers still remain in the game--in fact, only Amber and Big Tom can still finish WORSE than they did in their original game. Hopefully Kath planted seeds that will flower into Chachi-strangling weeds :) I fear for Alicia :( It'd be nice if Rupert didn't go out a sucker AGAIN.

"It was good that I had to go to the bathroom. I performed in the line of duty."
Kathy Vavrick-O'Brien, 2002

Peace! Christine :D