General Hospital week ending March 28, 2003

I thought this week was kinda...okay.

(a) Who gave the consistently best performances this week?

Rick Hearst continues to compel and intruige me. The hate and contempt he plays underneath his obsequiousness. Loved him on Thursday, reveling in Jason and Sonny's public lover's quarrell and then when a worried Liz says that someone has to do something and he remembers to pretend to agree, LOL. He's good. You know who else? Leslie Charleson! It was nice to have cranky, conflicted, superior Monica back center stage And unlike Jackie Z last week, she didn't make me regret calling for more scenes with the vets. Can't wait to see more with the return of Emily next week

(b) Who gave the best single performance this week?

Nancy Grahn was great on Friday with Sonny--her desperation, and then her despair when she finds him in no condition to help her or even be civil to her. Unlike ALW, NLG does how to react when someone is berating you--she was scared, sorrowful, worried--and disappointed in someone she used to consider a friend.

And Wow, Maurice Benard! His scenes with NLG and then after with Tamara were amazing, and reminded me why I used to be a fan of this guy! It's hard to praise him when he's good because so much of his bad acting comes from laziness and not caring--he CARED about his scenes on Thursday and Friday and deigned to show up and it only infuriates me that he chooses to subject us to his sucking most other days. His fear ("I'm falling. I can feel it.") his exhaustion and despair, they all resonated with me. I even loved his indignation at smart-lawyer Alexis faking mental illness to get what she needs when he has to live with the reality of it every day (I've always loved the class-conflict in their scenes). Can they please just call it Manic Depression and go there already? If he's gonna dominate my screen ANYWAY, why not in a story he'll actually show up for? Just a thought.

Cynthia Preston was fabulous against the dreadful ALW at Kelly's on Thursday. As wretched as her material has been she continues to rise above and shine.

Robyn Richards was also fantastic on Friday! Maxie's determination to be a grown-up, to be popular, her nervousness and then strength to stop Kyle from going through with their sexual encounter, and then her shame when she realizes her reputation is ruined anyway along with her friendship with Lucas. And then her very real crying jag as she lashed out at Georgie. Thank goodness they brought RR back and got rid of that Barbie girl. All the kids were FINALLY given something to do and they were good but Maxie was the one who knocked it out of the park.

(c) Who gave the single WORST performance this week?

ALicia Leigh Willis. Her sense of entitlement is just palpable to me. The way she played the post-shooting scenes with no fear, no vulnerability. When the RH's wonder why she's waitressing (and WTF, neither calling her on how unfair it is for her to expose THEM or her precious customers to a bullet meant for her) and she smirks, "See that bodyguard? He's MINE." Then when Faith was threatening her and ALW AGAIN couldn't play even the slightest amount of terror or concern instead choosing to guffaw every line, "Uh...I'm part of the Frons Fab Four? We like, own this show--I'm sorry, are you even on contract?" Then she goes to hit Faith or whatever and flubs her line in the process--talking AND moving is HARD! Can she PLEASE believe her own press and leave GH behind with a bridge-burning "Soap Opera is such a wonderful training ground for us, like, future superstars" SOD cover story? Please? And take headache boy with her?

HM to Wally Kurth on Tuesday, his silent film of the 1920's "I shall save you!" entrance into the burning gatehouse, and then later when he woke up in the hospital, his lazy, not-even-close-to-frantic "Kristina? Kristina?" The emotions required of the scene were just so obviously beyond him.

(d) What was the single BEST scene this week?

The Sonny/Alexis scene on Friday. How desperate did ALexis HAVE to be to go to Sonny? Only to find him at his absolute bellowing, wallowing worst? She takes in his abuse, humiliates herself by asking for his help anyway, then breaks down once she's left, at the mess she's still sinking further and further into. Fantastic scene.

HM to Lucky and Liz talking about their past: she was completly snark-free as she recalled her at-first unrequited crush on him, and how he talked a reluctant Ruby into hiring her. Both actors were great and it was a nice, warm look back at the show's history...did someone lock Jill Phelps in a broom closet?

(e) What was the single WORST scene this week?

Sonny may as well have been wearing a diaper on Tuesday when Carly was trying to get him to eat, "Okay, I'm gawna eat this food and woo are gawna match me bite for bite, okay? Who's the big boy? Who's momma's big boy?" Carly IS Bobbie's daughter, that's for sure.

(f) Who or what surprised you the most this week?

That when Sonny dreamed about Carly being pushed down the stairs we didn't pan up from Carly's prone figure to a cackling-with-evil-glee AJ.

Courtney admitting to Carly that her lying to AJ about stripping wound up hurting a lot of people. Of course Carly gave her a free pass, but it was still a surprise to hear her say it. Same thing when Carly said, "I sure hope Leticia is ready for a new baby!"

I can't like Courtney and Carly at the same time, but seperately there were times when I enjoyed one of them at a time. I liked Courtney on Tuesday when she was trying to get Jason to wake up and smell the co-dependency, "How can you and Carly put up with Sonny's crazy-ass abuse?" And later, I loved when Courtney burst in, "GOD! Sonny is SUCH a jerk! He's SO mean to us--" "Okay, you know what? I'm sick of hearing this, Sonny's my husband and even when I don't agree with him, I still love and support him and I can't listen to this shit anymore!" "God, someone shot at me, okay? It was like, scary." "Okay, you know what? I;m glad your'e okay but it's not like this isn't EXACTLY what everyone told you would happen if you insisted on dating a mobster!"

I was stunned to find the role of the crooked fire inspector being played by a white guy--it was my understanding that ALL under-five roles would be used to artificially pad the racial diversity of the canvas.

(g) Biggest WTF moment of the week?

Since when does Sonny really NEED to be a father--he seems to be a lot happier and in control when no one is pregnant with his child...oh wait, that's never, nevermind.

Carly telling Courtney how hard her miscarraige was on Sonny, how hard Lily's death was on Sonny, how difficult Sept. 11th was for Sonny--ENOUGH already

Faith's practically raping Ned on the docks--He REALLY couldn't get away from her if he wanted to? Really?

Tamara *almost* remembering her lines on Monday: "I didn't tell him. I let it slip. I cut him a chance and I didn't do it." Uh...huh. In the same scene she told Courtney that Sonny is "a big believer in lies of omission." Meaning...he thinks they ARE lies or he thinks they're nifty?

Ric: "You've got a deal." Sonny: "Is that a yes?!" Uh, that's what "You've got a deal," traditionally means, yes.

Why is the District Attorney walking around town arresting people, ticketing people and issuing restraining orders? Isn't that Mac's job? You know, Mac?

Monica not ejecting the press from the ER when they were filming Ned and Alexis.

AJ, of all people, taking part in a scheme to take a baby away from its biological parents

AJ can't be around Michael because he's a drunk but Sonny's a drunk but it's okay for him to be around Michael because he drinks because he's crazy--which is why Alexis can't be around HER kid!?

The whole "Borg no like music" bit. Why the hell not? Why can't they make him FREAKING HUMAN every once in a while? Oh, but he does have an MBA-worthy grasp of Sonny's business, gag me.

Sonny sniping at Liz for saying the exact same thing to him at the hospital that he JUST got done telling Courtney at Kelly's. Whatever, dude.

Sonny to Jason, "If you keep coming after me, I'm gonna have to consider you a threat--and you know what that means!" Yeah...a bunch of empty threats (Faith is watching this whole thing, LOL, even though she was barred from the club and threatened with death from Sonny a few days ago). Hey I know! Sonny calls out a hit on Jason and the ever loyal lap dog offs himself!

Courtney telling off Ric, "God! Jason and I can come to this club whenever we want because we're FAMILY--something YOU obvioulsy don't know anything about, guy who's obviously related to me or Jason since I just said that!"

So...a flaming solid oak beam falls on Ned and he walks out of the hospital without so much as a sprained shoulder? Is that a magic jacket?

Let me get this straight...Faith takes a shot at Courtney. At Jason's girl and Sonny's sister and they both agree NOT to KILL HER because they're more concerned with finding out who the "silent partner" is? How wimpy is that? How can any of the real mobsters respect this? And why WOULD Jason assume there WAS a silent partner with an agenda beyond Faith's? Oh right, the god-like powers.

Jason not standing up for his girl when Sonny was blaming HER for any potential injury that might come to Carly's unborn child because of SONNY'S chosen career. Anyone who thinks Jason's REALLY putting Courtney before Sonny is kidding themselves.

Jason's saying that Sonny's disgusting scene with Faith at the meeting of the five families DID NOT go over well them and demonstrated a lack of control...uh, could we have played any of that when it happened so I wouldn't have felt so dirty?

Sonny's whole, "Damn it, I'm hiring you because you and Alexis and Dara are the only lawyers I know and they both hate me," bit. This would be a much better story if Sonny DID start to trust Ric--his established slide into "the thing that's starting again that we can't call Manic Depression" causing him to make poor decisions, including falling under Ric's sway a little. Instead, Maurice reminds us every time they have a scene together that he loathes and distrusts Ric--and undercuts his character's credibility and integrity by confiding and relying on him DESPITE the fact he hates him. It's stupid.

Courtney lovingly folding Jason's laundry--I'll bet Korte wrote that scene herself--"Jason doesn't appear in this episode? How is that even possible? I thought I made sure...lemme just give Courtney a totem of Jason's to hold and admire, so the audience doesn't go a single day without thinking about him." Gag me with a giant key wall-hanging. And why is Courtney doing the laundry anyway? He's the one that doesn't have a job...

Courtney suggesting that if she went to college she'd have to ask Jason to be quiet while she studied? Has she met Jason? Followed up by her claiming, "I like to pay my own way," when he offered her money (because he's too noble to spend all that blood money, folks and don't you forget it). Yeah, and just HOW much of the rent are you paying on that loft, you dumb ho?

In what universe is Courtney BRAVE rather than STUPID to not break-up with a guy when he gets her shot at? that's right, GUZAWORLD. I guess we're supposed to think she's braver than that evil bitch Robin who did walk away when the SAME EXACT THING happened to her and Jason. SAME EXACT.

Why was Liz so happy to see Alexis at Kelly's? Do they even know each other that well? And shouldn't EVERYONE but Cameron be a little afraid of her? And why would Ned tell Alexis all about the Quartermaine's evil plotting--for all HE knows, he's gonna trigger her alter. Remember? Most people dont know she's faking?

Maurice on Friday, "Don't tell me what I can't and CANNOT do!" So...there's a difference now?

Sex kitten Liz purring, "Who are you Ric Lansing? This man who I'm JUST getting to know and JUST starting to care about and of course, already sleeping with!" I just feel like we've skipped a bunch of steps with these two.

Sonny calling Kristina, "The daughter you kept trying to insist was mine!" She never even TOLD him! Carly told him! Alexis NEVER told Sonny the baby was his!! AGH!

Aren't they laying on Cameron's disdain of Zander a little thick: "So, you ran into a burning building to save another human being? I suppose SOME people would call that heroic." You mean like, ANYONE? And can Ned say thank you at some point?

(h) Line of the week, if there was one?

Scott to Edward: "That was appalling--and I don't apall easily."

Jax to Sonny: "Aren't you getting a little tired of the immature "candy boy" routine?"

Georgie: "Excuse me--Oh Maxie, it's you. I thought it was a local ho." I was kinda hoping Summer would turn the corner on cue, ala Squiggy on "Laverne and Shirley."

Skye to Edward: "Really Grandfather, all the times you've been bested by women and you still give us so little credit."

Skye to Monica: "I was so flattered you invited me I didn't even mind you were using me as a weapon."

Alan: "Here comes the blackmail..."

Liz, mockingly, after Ric expresses surprise at Courtney's showing up to waitress after being shot at: "Oh, but haven't you heard? Courtney's all brave and courageous!"

Sonny to Courtney: "Do you have a LEARNING disability?"

Faith to Courtney: "What are you, like twelve? Nineteen? It doesn't matter. I've been eating little bunnies like you for breakfast since before you realized you had opposable thumbs!" (cut to Courtney whose face reads: "opposable what now?") Then when Faith left and shouted, "Hop hop, little bunny!"

(i) Got any shallow thoughts to share?

Tamara "remembering" Sonny's first breadkdown, "I'll never forget it...I was living in this crappy one-bedroom in Van Nuys...Sarah Brown was SO GOOD in those scenes!"

I'm always SO happy to see Robin Christopher these days, and then so disappointed when I write up this review and realize she didn't really do anything

GH shouldn't get a hair-styling nomination next year, not when they keep allowing their leading men's bald spots to show

It was so great to see Reginald and Big Alice! More Q stuff, please!

LOL at AJ playing with the doll!

I thought the casting people did a good job with Maxie's crush, Kyle. He was a good-looking kid with just the right touch of sleezy-jock-lothario charm.

When Sonny was berating Courtney in front of the Kelly's lunch crowd I expected it to turn into one of those "phone camera" commercials: "Yeah, I'm at Kelly's! You know that dumb waitress? No...no, the blonde one. Turns out she's Sonny Corinthos's sister!...I know!...Well that's what he's saying, maybe she's adopted or something! He's having a total meltdown, you have to see this.....See?....yeah, he DOES look like Popeye!"

Becky Herbst was radiant on Tuesday in her scenes with Greg Vaughan--these two have chemistry! And I loved his "Yeah, whatever dude," blow-off when Ric tried to be his ingratiating self.

I hate Sonny's buttoned-up all the way shirts!

I loved me some Action Zander on Tuesday!

When Mo wasn't making eye-contact with Steve when they, sigh, *almost* made up, I expected him to grab his face the way Tams does.

Sonny at the club to Jason, "We're gonna get it on right here! You want me?? Take me down!" Well that answeres THAT!

It's starting to bug me how Cameron calls therapy, "thiripy."

LMAO when Courtney was looking around sadly at Jason's spartan penthouse, "God! No tin signs, no giant dominoes, no giant clocks...how do you live like this?" Jason: "It DOES have bulletproof glass!"

Peace! Christine--looking forward to see if I even raise an eyebrow during Most-likely to Blow Monday...and is Guza ripping HIMSELF off with "Sonny's Choice" or someone else. I can never keep track