General Hospital week ending February 21, 2003

(a) Who gave the consistently best performances this week?

Vanessa Marcil. I thought she was fantastic during and after the non-wedding. Confusion, desperation, indignation, anger...she was just shattered inside. I loved the scene where she banters with Skye like a tough chick and then crumples as soon as Skye leaves the room. I even dug how she flung the pen cap across the room when she went to endorse Jax's check. Bye Vanessa! I'll miss you

(b) Who gave the best single performance this week?

I'm unapologetically going with Tamara on this one, for the shame, terror and rage she showed during Tuesday's slimefest. That Bazooka gum wrapper fortune was right: Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

I also loved Nancy on Friday, when she said to Scott, "And I swear to GOD I'd do it again," it was so chilling--pure Cassadine!

(c) Who gave the single WORST performance this week?

Gotta be Maurice with Jax on the pier: "You could not....HONOR..............your......COMMITMENT!" And he almost never made eye-contact with anyone this week. He just sucks. Honorable mention to Steve Burton, who reminded me of a kid who's gotten out of P.E. with a fake sprained ankle and then keeps forgetting to limp. He was just Jason, same ol' everyday not-just-out-of-surgery Jason ALL WEEK, but once an episode he holds his chest like he has heartburn. GENIUS, Steve, really. ACTING!

(d) What was the single BEST scene this week?

I actually really liked Jax and Brenda's break-up scene in the penthouse. I didn't buy Jax dumping her in public, but their reunion WAS rushed and there was always a lot of mistrust on his part--rightly so. And they didn't deal with it before the ceremony and they really should have. So I totally believed his hostility and her contempt--like Scarlett with Ashley Wilkes at the end of Gone with the Wind, "Why didn't you just frickin' tell me this ages ago? Saved us some trouble?" It was ugly, as break-ups often are, and it helped ME move on, LOL.

(e) What was the single WORST scene this week?

Well, Sonny and Jason's shoutfest at the club was so much of a "HUGE GREASED BULLET TITANS" Guza wet dream I wanted to gag, but I'll go with Tuesday's vile "Was Carly raped or just stripped naked and mind-raped?" scene. The imagery was so disturbing, a confused young woman is asking a man she thinks she can trust for help and then when she lashes out and then passes out, a look of contempt crosses his face as he pulls down her blouse. I don't care if they didn't *really* have sex, it bothered me. And I don't care if Rick Hearst is cute--so are a lot of frat boy rapists. And they're still being coy, "Is he evil? Or just sleazy? Tune in to find out girls, and ain't he fine in that tight black t-shirt?" His "I'll show you, bitch." attitude is all I need to know about this character. And rape survivor Liz is meanwhile defending him while he revels in Carly's self-loathing. We've got the sickest PTB in Soapdom.

Then we have Ned, the father of one girl and he also considers himself the father of another, lamenting to Faith that it's a good thing Carly wasn't raped--or they'd be killed. So...no objection on moral grounds? Huh. I was literally depressed all night Tuesday, and I'm one of the 2 out of 3 women watching GH who HASN'T been sexually assaulted. It was just irresponsible to push those buttons without a shred of compassion or even any real thought to what they were doing.

(f) Who or what surprised you the most this week?

That I still watched GH after Tuesday. I suck.

(g) Biggest WTF moment of the week?

This category is like the potato chips commercial: Betcha can't name just one!

Why did Jason feel he had to ruin Carly's club opening and chase everyone out just to have a private word with Sonny? Couldn't he have found a suitable office/kitchen/alley? "GET OUT OF HERE! NOW! I NEED TO YELL AT SONNY AND IT HAS TO BE HERE!"

LMAO at Courtney when she said, "Let's Go!" to Faith, like she was throwing down It was like watching Strawberry Shortcake challenge Darth Vader to a duel: "Well, golly, lady! You better not say nuthin' mean to me again!" "I find your lack of talent...disturbing."

WTF when Jason paid for his Kelly's lunch and Courtney asked him how it was?? "Like, Jason? I know it's like totally hard for us to like, see each other? Cuz like, after you saw me strip we like, realized we were like, soulmates or whatever? And then you almost died but then my lame brother was all "You guys have to break-up!" But anyways, I really need to know...how was the pie?"

MO FO WINDCHIMES! I realize they think we're idiots, but do they really need to clue us in with a sound effect, "Look out, kids! It's KrAzY KrIsTiNa!" Like, we aren't gonna notice in a second when Alexis refers to herself in the third person?

Ned getting an on-air hand-job was pretty rude. The fact that Guza and Pratt consider this self-deluded, creepy wannabe-gangster Ned an improvement just underscores how deeply mired they are in their own mid-life crises.

The fact that Sonny's talk-to is his dead wife's headstone and Brenda's is LILA, for Pete's sake, shows how devoid of meaningful relationships this show really is.

When Sonny said to Jason that Carly hadn't left town because she wouldn't abandon Michael Yeah Sonny, except for when she abandoned him at birth and the time she faked her own death...

And poor Ned, when he told Jax that he, Ned Ashton, SUPER GENIUS was plotting EVER so slowly and carefully, so that Sonny wouldn't see it coming. Uhm. Ned? Remember the part where he keeps bursting into your hotel suite every few days to tell you to stop coming after him? I think he knows

(h) Line of the week, if there was one?

Skye to Jax: "All these years you've carried around the mythic Brenda in your heart, a woman against whom all others were measured against and found lacking. And then Brenda returns and even she doesn't fit the bill. You have very high standards, Jax. I certainly couldn't meet them. It's comforting to know Brenda couldn't either."

Sonny: "He left you at the altar?"Brenda: "Yeah, well, at least he showed up and told me the truth to my face."Sonny: "Yeah."

Faith to Sonny: "Back OFF! Before the only problem I have is your blood on my carpet!"

I loved it when Brenda was lamenting her crappy luck with weddings and Jason suggested the next time she got married to do it the way they did:Brenda (Ah Ha!) "Without the LOVE!"Jason (patiently) "Without the WEDDING."Brenda (like she followed all along) "Without the WEDDING."

(i) Got any shallow thoughts to share?

Sonny is becoming Bobbie, you know how she used to go around town saying about Carly, "Well, she's my daughter, and I love her BUT..."? Now Sonny's doing that, "She's my life, I love her but she's always gonna do something incredibly stupid!" Meanwhile, Bobbie, placing everyone's phone calls from the 7th floor Nurses station has become Amy

Courtney and Liz's scenes always remind me of "The Bachelor," you know, these catty women humiliating themselves for a shot at some vaguley handsome loser with a little money. In WHAT universe is an emotionally stunted HIT MAN worth all this? Help! We're trapped in Elizabeth Korte's fan fic!

LMAO off at Coleman's sultry phone sex voice with Jason and Sonny on Friday

I HATE Carly and Sonny's sterile, dark bedroom. It always seems like they're in an AMTRAK sleeper car.

Finally, can Sonny please stop calling Jax "Candy Boy" as though it's clever? And can AJ call Jason "Mack Daddy" all the time?!

Peace! Christine