General Hospital week ending February 28, 2003

This is officially the worst week I can remember, and I watched during that whole Domino/ Dragon Bone story with Arielle? So that's saying something. That's relevant because the MO FO Windchimes remind me of how brainwashed Colton Shore was triggered to kill by these bells and my twin sister and I used to yell "Damn Bells!" every time we heard them, just to entertain ourselves. I really really miss watching GH with someone else. Every time Sonny picks up a glass I yell, "Throw it, THROW IT!" even if he's not angry. I think it would be more fun if someone else were here to do it with me...TRY IT. It's fun

(a) Who gave the consistently best performances this week?

For those who only *guessed* it to be so, let me put your minds at ease: it WAS Nancy Lee Grahn! From knife-weilding intensity to the sorrow of a terrified mother to faux-Kristina bravado, she completely convinces you that she is NOT bored out of her mind with the tedious scriptwriting of Guza Pratt and Korte--and we know that's not true. Kudos Nancy!

(b) Who gave the best single performance this week?

Tony Geary was the only reason I didn't set myself on fire during F*** the Fans February. I'd say he stole the show from Maurice, but Mo didn't put up any kind of fight, did he? Honorable mention to Cynthia Preston, for her conflicted yet determined grannycide, and Summer (Brittany something?) for how genuinely touched she seemed that someone wanted to celebrate her birthday--I admit, that tugged at my heartstrings. I also liked how Kin Shriner played the Monday scenes with NLG. He likes to go overboard and be bombastic, but on Monday, when she was wigging out and knife-weilding as Kristina, he very wisely underplayed.

(c) Who gave the single WORST performance this week?

Steve Burton. The "oh, I'm in so much pain because I'm always doing what's noble and right," slow walk he did all week, the tired ol' blank staring bit, the way he looks down at the ground to show, "Oh, he's in so much agony!" The way he chooses to play every damned scene he's in as though he's irritated with how stupid everyone else is. And the fact that they've written this role for him where his NOT DOING A DAMNED THING is totally in character makes me so mad I could spit. Who says we don't have LIASON? Elizabeth [Korte] and Jason: the love affair that's ruining GH. And I hate how he uses doing nothing for MONTHS to make it oh so *powerful* when he DOES cry or yell or whatever, when other actors--everyone else BUT the Fearsome Foursome--do stuff in EVERY SCENE they're in because they're professionals. HATE HATE HATE HIM

(d) What was the single BEST scene this week?

Sonny getting gunned down on Jason's watch was rather nice, but it didn't last, so I'll go with Faith poisoning her own grandmother. It was a GREAT terrible moment, and both of them played it great, when Catherine hadn't finished her drink so Faith suggested another toast and Catherine smiled, "It had better be my last," and Faith replied, "It will be." Olivia Jerome would be so proud!

(e) What was the single WORST scene this week?

God telling Sonny through Luke that if he sleeps with Skye, well, he can get into heaven! But no! Sonny won't do it! He's more moral than God, in Guzaland. Also, Courtney jumping in to stop Jason from "Ohmigod, almost, like beating that goon to death!" And then she tells Carly and Sonny later, "God, you should have been there! It was lucky I was there, I thought he might, like kill the guy, okay?" And Sonny didn't say, "That's what I've been trying to tell you, you stupid bitch! THAT'S HIS F***ING JOB!"

(f) Who or what surprised you the most this week?

That I didn't drive over to the ABC Studios on Wednesday, scream, "REPENT REPENT!!" and then light myself on fire. It's my birthday next week, you see...I guess I'm kinda curious about what I'm gonna get.

(g) Biggest WTF moment of the week?

Jax getting Skye to feel a kinship with Alexis because they'd both gone to boarding school. Uh...so did Brenda!

Why did Sonny call Courtney's kidnapping a "so-called" abduction? Uhm...grabbed by goons, check. Transported against her will to another location, check, hey Einstein, it WAS an abduction! But does he retaliate? Nup. This show has a big problem with empty threats. How many times have we heard Sonny, Faith, Ned and Jason say, "This is your LAST warning..." and then nuthin til next time.

When Carly said to Sonny, "We're not perfect, but we're not boring either," and Sonny agreed, "Never a dull moment!" I beg to differ...

This is every scene between Carly and Courtney: Carly: "You know what? You're right. You and Jason belong together! Courtney: "God! Like, I KNOW!" I doubt Sarah Brown's Carly Roberts would say "you'll alienate Jason" instead of "you'll piss off Jason" and I DAMN SURE know she wouldn't say, "I was just playing *devil's advocate* Courtney, to see if you'd really fight for him." Devil's Advocate? And how can Carly NOT already know that yes, Courtney IS indeed going to FIGHT FOR HIM, considering they've had this very conversation close to FIFTY F***ing TIMES in the last three weeks!!!

I don't know what Jason and Courtney are doing with a chess board on their coffee table because I'm QUITE certain neither of them would know what to do with it. And what the heck did they do at that place anyway??? They have a love nest but they don't have sex...he doesn't talk...and they don't play chess! I HATE GUZA! Because he doesn't believe in taking the TIME to write the kind of scenes that make you love a couple! I'm thinking about Duke and Anna sitting around talking about the Beatles, Frisco and Felicia dressing up like an old couple to solve crimes, Lucky and Liz making brownies in the mall....I'm getting a little verklempt...talk amongst yourselves... I'll give you a topic: Courtney's amazing impassioned speech was neither amazing, nor impassioned, nor a speech. Discuss.

The really really bad hair needs to be addressed. Lucky--and I guess I'm the only person who kinda likes him, LOL!--but it looks like he has a bird's nest on his head, Nik looks like a Japanese Rockstar--I know he's losing his hair but...there has to be a more flattering opition. And Cameron with that terrible feathered 'do? No, and stop dyeing it! The dubious winner though is Ned, with that bizarre "hipster" jacket, . If I can channel American Idol's Randy Jackson, "Dude...it's too young a style for you. And stop coloring it, you need to stop pretending you're not 40, dawg!" On Thursday Ned looked very much like Jonathan Schaech (sp?) in "That Thing You do!" and on Friday, he looked very much like a Vulcan from Star Trek. And Friday was the better day.

When Sonny told Carly that if he had a daughter, he'd show her "by example how a man should be." Uh, so...volatile and verbally abusive, huh? Good call, Alexis, good call

Why is Summer confiding in Scott like they're old girlfriends?

Why does Jax think Dara's a good lawyer? She's lost every case she ever had! She's Port Charles's answer to Hamilton Burger.

(h) Line of the week, if there was one?

This was a bad week for dialogue and at least 40% of it was Carly and Courtney saying "fight for him." I enjoyed when Luke wanted Summer to come up with an idea of something he could do with LuLu that wouldn't bore him to death, even though his being such a crap father isn't all that funny, really. It's not hard, Luke. My dad and I watched a lot of tv together, and we're still pretty close

Alan to Skye: "You deserve to be happy, you deserve to come first."

Sonny to Carly about Courtney: "Will you stop it? I just heard a speech from her, I don't wanna hear another one from you!" Oh Bless you, Sonny! I'll be praying for you this Sunday---you never know what might happen!

(i) Got any shallow thoughts to share?

Seriously, is any one making a Sonny/Jason edit tape? His jealousy with Ric is pretty hilarious. "What's HE doing here?" "Quiet, silly, we'll discuss it back at the penthouse!" "We'll never discuss it, will we, you BITCH!"

When Luke was talking about the people in heaven, I was hoping he'd tell Sonny, "Yeah, Lily asked me to tell you to leave her the hell alone already!"Alexis was wearing this sweet leather skirt and black riding-style black coat on Wednesday. Very stylish.

When Courtney threw that vase at her clock, I FINALLY believed she was Sonny's sister! Throw it, THROW IT!!

I took perverse pleasure when Carly was all excited about Alexis being charged with murder and Jason and Sonny wouldn't join in, they sort of defended Alexis.

Loved Kristina! I love babies with big giant fat heads and this baby has the biggest head I've ever seen on a baby! Love it!

Does EVERYONE have to call it "DID: Disassociative Identity Disorder??" I'm fairly educated, and I'd still say split or multiple personality. I don't care what's "right," make it sound REAL.

When Scott said to Summer, "I've made a career out of reading people's faces..." I was very disappointed when he didn't start singing "The Gambler."

Peace! Christine