General Hospital week ending March 21, 2003

(a) Who gave the consistently best performances this week?

Rick Hearst has been very good. He *seems" sincere with Liz, then he's suitably obsequious with Sonny or with Benny's widow. The scene he had on Wednesday, when he starts out smug and confident with Carly but is soon reduced to desperation and underplayed (thank you!) terror when she vows to tell Sonny what happened between them was terrific. I still don't know what to make of Ric Lansing, but Rick Hearst is damn good.

(b) Who gave the best single performance this week?

Nancy Grahn on Monday, when she had to say goodbye to Kristina. It was a dreadful scene, a mother having her baby stripped away from her in front of a gallery of witnesses (see WTF) but Nancy made me forget everything except her love for that fat little baby.

(c) Who gave the single WORST performance this week?

Maurice was awful on Wednesday, just embarrassingly over the top. The inappropriate grinning, the pointing, the yelling for effect. He came across as a pathetic little man, "Who's...questioning...my AUTHORITY? I want...their names.....on a.....LIST!"

(d) What was the single BEST scene this week?

When Monica tried to warn AJ not to go along with Edward's plan and he blew her off and called her on choosing Jason over her every day of the week and twice on Sunday

That or when Coltin Scott debuted his new haircut. Seriously, i think that was the best thing to happen on GH all week.

(e) What was the single WORST scene this week?

Sonny degrading Faith in front of the Five Families--he calls her a slut and a whore, he grabs her by the back of the head and intimates that they should all gang-bang her, he kisses her against her will and then spits out her cooties, or whatever, and then he throws her out. Oh and this is SONNY, the "abuse victim" who doesn't tolerate violence against women--just violence around women, I guess. But then, Faith is no woman. She's trying to be like them--she's trying to be a man! So she deserves to be treated like trash! And this REGAINS the respect of the other men in the room?? "Oh, wait, he manhandles women and hurls verbal abuse at them? Oh, never mind! He's totally in control!" What about this display had anything to do with control--except physical, violent control over a woman, which is cowardice? If the scene was about this being a sick business, or about Sonny's losing it, that's one thing. But we are SUPPOSED to want Sonny to win-over the Five Families and, yippie, he does I called the GH comment line over this scene and I've no doubt been added to Guza's enemies list, "Who's...questioning...my writing? I want...their names and phone numbers.....on a.....LIST!" I was really snotty about their not getting an Emmy nomination for best show, too. It wasn't my finest moment

(f) Who or what surprised you the most this week?

The actress who plays Summer isn't GREAT, imo, but I like how she's interpreting what little of a character she's been given. In her scenes with Nikolas, she's much harder than we've ever seen her. I was pleasantly surprised to realize that what I've been seeing all along was her "Summer the Breezy Happy Hooker" bit, and not the "real" Summer, who's world-weary and desperate.

Scott mentioning his kids.

That they wrote something for Mike to say, and Ron Hale actually showed up to do it, especially since he had to listen to ALW say, "Jason and I, like, LOVE each other, oKAY? There's nothing WRONG with that!" for the three-trillionth time this month.

(g) Biggest WTF moment of the week?

The judge forbidding Alexis from SEEING Kristina for 6 months? Really?? And then not clearing the courtroom from spectators when Alexis got her few minutes of goodbye? I imagine there being a sign in Guza and Pratt's Clubhouse that says: "Have we Humiliated a Woman Today?"

And wasn't that a typically revolting scene when our headwriters have Cameron explain away all the holes in their lame-ass Alcazar story with Alexis's need for CONTROL. "Sure a smart person wouldn't have confessed and made up an alternate personality but YOU had to be in control, didn't you, you uppity bitch!"

The Sonny and Jason bauw-chicka-bauw-bauw montage--I'm still trying to figure out who wants them to appear so gay: it ain't Burton and Benard, I can't imagine Korte does (unless she see's herself as Sonny)...If Guza's gay he's still deep in the closet with the tax returns and dad's old 70's neckties...the conspiracy theories that Guza and Pratt are deliberately trying to sabotage this show seem more and more likely to me...I am enjoying this though, It's like Limbo Rock--how gay can they go, how gay can they go

Benny's wife saying that Benny thought Jason had more integrity than any other man he'd ever met. True, the guy hangs around with murderers all day but still, this ain't my picture of integrity

Is the Rick/Liz thing a set-up? We know Ric is really a creep so we know to be scared for her? OR is what Ric is willing to do to "someone like" Carly not supposed to have anything to do with his romance with Liz?

Who IS this girl who's calling herself Liz Webber, anyway? I thought she was playing the post-coital Ric scenes WAAAAY to old. Sure, Liz isn't a virgin, but neither is she a worldly Lucy Coe-type, and I kept cringing as she pawed at Rick's fly and talked about how FABULOUS the sex was. And later, her "I gots myself a Harvard man!" talk with Courtney, didn't fly with me either. What REALLY didn't work for me was Liz getting up in Courtney's face, 'Didja go to the funeral, huh, huh, didja?" I like Liz way more than Courtney and I still think Courtney would've been justified in slapping her.

All the scenes where Sonny and Jason are referred to as "best friends." The last time I saw anything beyond a boss/trusted employer scene with these two was back at the end of the McTavish era (and make no mistake, I hated the McTavish era), when they had pizza and beer with Carly and Michael, when Jason first came back? As much as this show is totally focused on the Fearsome Foursome, it hasn't done their character development any good either. Guza hasn't got time for humanity--he's got stuff to blow up!

Sonny confiding in Dead Benny instead of Dead Lily--who's next, Dead Alcazar? Dead Chloe? I'm quite certain TPTB think this is powerful--you know, "Everyone he's close to gets TAKEN AWAY!" But instead it only highlights how badly maintained the living relationships on this show are. Sonny should be talking to Mike or Luke (yeah, okay or even Carly!)--but then again, I guess a styrofoam headstone can't show up Maurice Benard.

Liz on Wednesday to Nik: "Lucky and I are OVER, in fact, let me refer to our beautiful love story as "make-believe" just so Frank South can "cleverly" segue to Maxie, Georgie and Lucas." Kiss my ass, GH.

Why is Courtney still working at Kelly's if she always leaves within 20 minutes? She doesn't need the money--she's Jason's kept woman, a white trash dilittante who dabbles in waitressing to fill the empty hours when he's out killing people.

Courtney's dispensing relationship advice to Carly reminds me of Y&R years ago, when everyone would talk to Cricket, LOL? Does anyone remember that? Kay Sterling, for crying out loud, would be listening to this college student talk about life. What does Courtney know about ANYTHING?? ANd the only relationships she's had are with Carly's sloppy seconds anyway. Pleh, it's gross.

When Carly said that if Sonny found out the baby wasn't his it would rob him of all his joy and hope. What joy and hope, where? When?

Carly saying Sonny's so big an ass, he'd dump her if the baby was Ric's, even though he kissed Brenda and she was so "drunk" she doesn't remember, even if Ric obviously took advantage of her. This story is so repulsive. I'm waitng for the GH announcer to say during the credits: "Was Carly raped and just too dumb to realize it? There's more to the story tomorrow on General Hospital!" Uck.

And Sonny would choose RIC to kill Faith...WHY?

(h) Line of the week, if there was one?

Faith: "Here's a thought for you, Ned: If I'm as bad as you think I am, you might want to be a little nicer to me." I liked it even better on Buffy the Vampire Slayer last season ;)

Ned to Kristina: "I'm gonna protect you with my last dying breath." Just because, since I'm fairly spoiler-free, I could pretend it was forshadowing Ned's death

(i) Got any shallow thoughts to share?

I loved when Cameron and Alexis held each other after the trial.

Jason in a coffin, *sigh* Hey Sonny, I've had that dream too! Except I didn't scream until I realized it WAS a dream

When Summer's hair is straight, she looks too much like Courtney.

Tamara Braun's literal hand-wringing is becoming very distractiong to me, as is her constantly putting her hand to her throat. Her mannerisms are becoming as annoying to me as Steve Burton's heavy-sighing and all-purpose "I've got a headache" move.

Am I the only one who's bothered by how these people all have four or five leather coats? It's always a leather coat and it's never the same one?

Sorry, but hearing just how much Benny admired Sonny and Jason made me not so sad he was dead.

I like Jax's hair right now, it's darker and it's working for him.

I hate AJ's hair. It's too feathered-80's for me, he needs to go to Scotty's barber. Billy looks good with short hair.

GH shouldn't have this kind of power, but I find myself cringing when ANYONE uses the word "loyalty" ANYWHERE.

Even though I hate the Easy Bake Bitches scenes, I still kinda enjoyed Liz snarking about Courtney behind her back, "I'd be NICE of her to show up early just once to help me fill these salt shakers!" Shut up, Liz, we know Penny does all the work!

Despite the "touching" story of why he was wearing it, Jason looked like a waiter in that tie. And what was up with Carly, Jason and Sonny all wearing shiny black to a FUNERAL anyway? Are they going clubbing after?

The more I look around Courtney and Jason's pad (in my attempts to NOT look at them) the more struck I am by their bizarre apartment. The decor of Courtney and AJ's apartment suited a young, working-class girl with good taste, trying to make the most of what she has. This new place is just too old for her and since we've been told that Jason could sleep in a cardboard box outside Sonny's bedroom and be happy...who bought all those vases? The weird giant clocks over the door? The chess set/pedicure kit? It reminds me of "Wheel of Fortune" in the good old days, when they used to have to spend all their earnings on prizes and once they'd bought the trip to Cancun and the LA-Z-Boy recliner they got down to a couple hundred bucks and they'd have to buy things like ceramic dogs and, well, weird giant key wall-hangings. "Uh...I guess...for $45 I'll take the...those Giant Dominoes?"And finally, not to make light, but...doesn't "Shock and Awe" sound like something Guza would say? I'm just saying...

Peace, Christine