General Hospital week ending March 14, 2003

I missed Friday and am actually bummed--I should have put that in "surprise of the week." I really wanted to see Alexis go after Scott in the Courtroom. And how come I live in freaking Los Angeles and we don't have SoapNet?? No fair! Lucky for me I have a sister to fill me in on what I missed.

(a) Who gave the consistently best performances this week?

Nancy has been knocking it out of the park all week. I'm really enjoying her interaction with Lane Davies--and this is all new to me, folks, I never watched Santa Barbara. I love how they're both able to multi-task in scenes, and while they talk to one another, they both have this sense of intriuge in their eyes. Nancy's asking about his plans and underneath she's playing, "Why is this guy helping me?" And he's telling her everything will be okay and he's playing, "Why the hell am I helping this woman?" It took me a while, but I'm in! I'm on board with Cameron and Alexis--and that's what I'm calling them, they're too dignified to give them a "merged name"!

(b) Who gave the best single performance this week?

Rick Hearst on Wednesday just completly woke me up. I've started a new job, I'm sleepy, GH sucks ....and then the scene where he's taking out his IV's and ranting about how Sonny will never be grateful to him, will never trust him. He was a man possessed, he's been so in control and here he is a little unhinged, saying things in front of Carly that he probably shouldn't say. I literally sat up and took notice We have ourselves a compelling villain here, I think.

(c) Who gave the single WORST performance this week?

Alicia Leigh Willis on Tuesday, when Scott was questioning her. This is the District Attorney, a man with the power to make life pretty miserable for her boyfriend and her brother and he's trying to get to bottom of a shooting meant for her brother and best-friend/sister-in law, and ALL ALW does is her petulant high-talking Valley girl bit, "God, I didn't notice, oKAY? This is like, SO boring!" Can't she be concerned? And since the script is calling for Jason to leap to her defense, can't she be a little intimidated?? Does GH even have directors and booth producers anymore?? Or are they as bored and apathetic as we are?

HM to Steve Burton when he threw his gloves down *really hard* to show how mad he was at Sonny. It was so junior high school I expected to see Georgie and Maxie standing in the doorway to say, "ooooooooh."

HM to Maurice for pulling out the old "first I'll whisper then I'll SHOUT FOR EFFECT!"

(d) What was the single BEST scene this week?

Scott taunting ALexis about not getting a postponement was just really funny. I hope they give Kin more to do--like Skye? Please?

(e) What was the single WORST scene this week?

Ned kissing Faith while choking her as she stands before him, allegedly naked. HOW on earth did this get passed the censors--do they have those anymore??

(f) Who or what surprised you the most this week?

I kinda liked Sonny on Thursday. Even though I know his breakdown is a total Jason-pimp, I like paranoid crazy Sonny, and he wasn't pausing.

That the CFF's are blaming Maurcie instead of Carolyn Hinsey for Tamara's Emmy "snub."

(g) Biggest WTF moment of the week?

If I can steal a line Homer Simpson said last Sunday and apply it to GH: "It makes you laugh AND hate."

Jason and Courtney's BIG reunion, "GOD, Jason, it's been like, three weeks since we've been like, a couple? I almost gave up!" How can ANYONE care about Journey being reunited when they were never really broken up? ANd why did they have the cookie sex months ago? I mean, this love scene, with Jason coming to her and saying, "I've left Sonny for you , I love you, let's stay together," would at least mean SOMETHING, not much, but SOMETHING if they'd never had sex before. These people don't know nuthin' about writin' no soap opera.

Jax gives Summer $1500, they sip champagne, he's called away and he ASKS her to wait around and she GRACIOUSLY agrees?? Honey, she's bought an paid for! Forget sending her to the hotel bar, have her blow up the raft and start making those s'mores.

Carly gets dizzy while they're evacuating the club and Sonny or one of the guards doesn't just pick her up and carry her out?? For all these morons know, the shooter is still in the club--get to safety you idiots!

Kelly's was OPEN for business the same night someone was shot in the basement? WTF? And if one of Sonny's guards was able to yell "gun," why didn't he see who was attached to it and catch Sam as she raced up the stairs? And why are any of Sonny's goons still alive and even still reporting for work the next day?

I didn't buy Liz's "It should have been you," line to Jason about Ric's being shot. Liz isn't a violent person, and even if she's mad at Jason and Courtney, I don't believe her saying this. And then when she blames Sonny, Courtney hisses, "Leave my brother out of this!" ZUH? Since when is Courtney in the mood to defend Sonny?

Bobbie making sure Leticia doesn't let Michael watch the news. Um, he's FIVE? Even if he was still awake, I doubt he'd be watching the news.

Jason takes a few hours to bang his girl and the whole UNIVERSE falls apart! And then HE's the one to search the WOMEN's room, HE'S the one who figures out the shooter must be a woman. If Jason were a Scorpio-esque detective, I could stomach it, but no, the ENTIRE canvas has been dumbed down in order to make it plausible that this thug, Jason, is the smartest, bestest guy around. I hate watching your fanfic, Elizabeth Korte!

Courtney talks to Carly about the New Year's Eve episode, "God, I was remembering what you said about what YOU remembered about what that lady said about that girl who represented me when you were imagining you were her..." Are we POSITIVE the writers aren't still on strike?

Carly tells Coutney about selling out Sonny to the Feds:Carly: "You know what? If Jason had been here, I wouldn't have been so stupid. Not to obviously forshadow what's gonna happen to Sonny now that he's kicked Jason out of his life, but things fall apart when Jason isn't around!"Courtney: "GOD! You were so stupid--you're so lucky Sonny forgave you!"Carly: "You know what? That's what I'm trying to tell you--it's important to keep your mouth shut and stay in your place!"Courtney, "God, you're right! I'm gonna go and bake some cookies RIGHT NOW!"

WHY was Jason allowed to be with Courtney when Scott was questioning Courtney?

WHAT evidence could Edward POSSIBLY have that Faith hired Sam--the receipt?? And how could he ever prove to the police that he DIDN't know his money was paying for the hit?

So...Ned is choking Faith...because he's AGAINST violence?

Ned trusting the new nanny, after all his talk of safety and whatnot. Even Kristina knew it, she had a look on her face like, "Yo, dad-guy? You really should check her references."

Alexis not freaking out about Dara being her attorney. I'd have loved her saying to Cameron, "I'm a little concerned because Dara ALWAYS loses--usually to me."

Was Faith invited to the meeting of the five families as the entertainment? Summer wasn't available? Pleh.

The Courtney and Carly friendship. I've said before, the way to play this if they're determined to do it is to have Carly be uncomfortable and tentative in the relationship, because she's not good at female friendships! But now they've gone further by having Carly tell Courtney that she slept with Ric? This of course makes no sense because we KNOW she'll tell Jason at some point, which is, I'm sure, the whole point. But where is Bobbie in all this? She knows something about baby anxiety...

Jason, who never talks, professes his love to Courtney and she's like, "God, I KNOW that, but what happened after we left the police station?"

Seeing Maxie and Georgie once a month--I actually think I might like them if I ever get the chance to meet them.

All the messages to women on this show: Strong women are dirty bitches who deserve violence--good girls make cookies and stay out of their men's business

(h) Line of the week, if there was one?

Liz to Carly: "The shooting is ALWAYS Sonny's fault."

Skye: "He left. Men do that."

Alexis on visitors: "It's a little awkward when you've been committed as a mental patient AND been charged with murder--people aren't sure what to bring."

Cameron to Alexis: "I wouldn't be the first person with a flawed personal life and a brilliant professional one."Alexis: "I know someone like that too."

(i) Got any shallow thoughts to share?

Wednesday: Sonny threw it, he THREW IT! Is it every OTHER week, I guess?

I like that Edward hates and distrusts Alexis becasue she's a Cassadine--in his mind, she's crazy just like the rest of them.

Ned looked like Lyle Menendez on Monday--or Frankenstein, take your pick. Bad, bad hair.

Maurice looks like Grampa Sonny (like his dentures are out, even) and his skin is positively gray these days.

Jax has more urns in his pad than Michael Jackson, and I liked Summer's dippy color-chart analysis of Jax-- unlike her talk the other day about "rarified air," THIS seems like the kind of silly nonsense she might actually talk about.

Jackie Zeman is back doing the babytalk and I'm back to muting her scenes.

Can they STOP calling Kristina "the CHILD?" If they think it's weird calling her Kristina, can they give her a nickname? Kris? Kiki? Poppin Fresh??

ICK ICK, When Jax gives Summer an extra $500 and she coos, "What do you have in mind?" Please GH, don't make me start thinking off all the devient and disgusting things Summer might do for an extra five bills

I laughed my ass off on Monday when SONNY said, "You know what?" Oh, Mo, don't start picking up HER lazy tics in addition to your own!

It was a LOT easier for me to watch Steve Burton's heavy sigh-head shake-stare master Borg act knowing he didn't get nominated for an Emmy--And can he wear the tank top more often? Because I do have a real fetish about guy's arms, and his are nice. If I could just stare at his triceps and biceps while he's pontifcicating, Jason Morgan might be tolerable.

Sonny and Jason pining after one another is just too funny.

Zander, you're so pretty, but please cut your hair. Do you need a date for the Emmy's? :D

Nancy Grahn has looked stunning all week. It really bothers me though, when she was wearing boots in bed at the hospital.

I love Our Big Fat Almost-Greek Baby Kristina!

The music SUCKS lately, the underscore? Just dreadful.

Peace! Christine--looking foward to the best Alcazar trial EVER