Survivor 10.13 "I'll do my damndest not to be stupid again."

PLOTS AND PLANS

Night at Er-Ror. The rats are feasting on coconuts which have been carelessly tossed aside near the camp, even though they are still full of meat, symbolizing arrogance and waste. Jenn is in shock, "Gregg was a big part of my existence out here, and I can't believe I'm gonna have to use a damn BLANKET to keep warm now!" Though she is reeling from the night's events, Jenn plays it cool with her tribe and claims to understand perfectly. Ian is impressed with what a "smooth operator" she is, and reveals that he's still afraid of a woman's alliance emerging. Which is ironic, because a woman's alliance DOES almost form and it's all because of Ian being a complete moron. But more on that later.

The next morning, Tom tells Caryn that he wants her to stay and make it to the Final Three with him and Ian. Note how shifty Tom always makes it seem like he has no power to bring about his desires--he's LIKE Caryn to stay, but of course, it's dependent on what everyone else does. Caryn is skeptical, but Tom tells Caryn she deserves to take Katie's spot, since Katie "wavered." Caryn thinks that Ian will want to stick with Katie. Then Tom tries to manipulate Caryn by telling her that joining a woman's alliance would be a really stupid idea, and wouldn't help her at all. He claims that Jenn and Katie will throw her over at number three if she goes with them, even though he's only fake-Tom-promised her number three, so what the heck is the difference. Caryn admits to us that she's not sure whether TOm's playing her or not but she's guardedly optimistic about her chances. Poor Caryn...

Back at the shelter, Katie is lobbying Ian to oust Caryn next, which Ian's open to. Jenn is incredulous that Ian refuses to go after Tom. "I hate going back on my word," Ian sighs, laying his cards on the table for everyone to see. Jenn's all, "Screw your word, it's for a MILLION DOLLARS!" Ian continues to sigh in the hammock.

REWARD LIMERICK

If you really want to go far
you shouldn't win that darn car
It sure is a prize
but the facts don't tell lies
you'll never be the ultimate survivor

Tom and Ian strategize on the way back with tree mail. They are still very worried about the possibility of the girls banding together to form a women's alliance. Tom wants them to take Caryn to the end because she's more loyal to him than she is to Ian. Ian wants them to take Katie to the end because she's more loyal to him than she is to Tom. THey make the very wise decision to NOT take one another should reward involve being taken away from the rest of the tribe--that way, they can maintain control of the women. It's interesting to me that for the talk men do about how women manipulate them with their wiles or what have you, in Survivor, it's always been strong men who've manipulated women into doing their bidding. Last season, I was irritated at Ami's insistence that an all-woman alliance was somehow a moral victory for all women. That's just not true. Survivor is an individual game, and it's silly to think about "the sisterhood," to the exclusion of your own interests. But I do find myself rooting for women to rise up against the men, even when the men are basically good guys, like Ian and Tom, when the men are so confident in their ability to handle them. This is what made Sandra, Darrah and Lil's victory over Burton and Johnny Fairplay so satisfying--the fact that the boys didn't think they'd do it. Tom and Ian are very aware that the women might throw them over--which makes Ian's next move...very odd...

CORVETTE BUMMER

It is time for the Car reward--which usually does come around this point, with 5 people left in the game. Previous Car winners: Colby (2nd), Lex (3rd), Sean (5th), Ted (5th), Matt (2nd), Burton (13th and 5th), Boston Rob (2nd) and Eliza (4th). Eliza was the first (and so far only) woman to win a car on her own. Amber gained a car by virtue of being chosen by Chachi to go with him to his reward feast, and AMber gifted one to Shii Ann. But I don't count those. This time around, it ain't no lame Pontiac Aztec, nor is it some sort of rugged truck. It's a little red corvette, and it is truly sweet. The challenge involves going back and forth on a raft to collect mileage markers, the ones in the M*A*S*H sign, and then once you've collected all of them, you have to correctly order them in terms of how far away they are from Palau. It's kind of tedious to watch, and Ian easily wins the corvette and a cool BBQ at a swanky mansion with "the best view of Palau." Ian is naturally allowed a guest and Katie is grinning from ear to ear--they had a deal, after all, that they'd take one another on any reward--and Ian decides to bring...Tom. Even Tom is shocked by this--he doesn't seem remotely happy, he has that same look on his face that he did when Ian said to Gregg that Tribal Council was going to be interesting. The whole thing is very weird. At the BBQ, Ian basically says that this is payback to Katie for eliminating him from the yacht reward challenge. He also reveals that this is the first car he's ever owned. And then Tom says, "Well, bettuh hope that we can bring Katie back into the fold, because it's our only play." Tom is such a drama queen, I swear. No, you can get Caryn to vote however you want or you can get Jenn to vote however you want, you have plenty of plays.

GIRL TALK

Speaking of drama queens, Katie is having a telenovela-worthy meltdown over Ian's "betrayal," as she sobs, "I feel like I lost my best friend out here!" She confides to Caryn that she and Ian have had a Final Two pact from the very beginning, and then she tells Caryn to come clean about her deal with Tom. Caryn says she doesn't have a deal because Tom has promised her Final Two but he's also told her about his long time Final Three deal with Ian and Katie--this is all news to a very interested Jenn, who is just shocked when Katie confirms that she has been in cahoots with the boys since day one. Jenn explains, "I had no way of knowing that Katie was in an alliance with Tom or Ian because she wasn't making out with either of them." Katie insists, "We had our chance to have an all woman alliance when Steph was here and we didn't take it, Caryn, but know that Ian has been so stupid as to BETRAY me, I say we have to do the girl power thing." Caryn is conflicted because she feels she may have a better shot going with Tom because she thinks he's being honest with her about taking her to the Final Two instead of Ian, which we know he's not, but she tentatively agrees to it. Until...

IAN MAKES ANOTHER MISTAKE

Caryn goes straight to Tom and Ian, and demands that Ian tell her straight up if she's really going to be in a final three with him and Tom. Tom tries to answer for Ian and Caryn barks, "Let the WITNESS, answer the question, counselor." Ian's answer goes something like this, "Uh, um, er, um uh, well, um, uh, it's me and you and Katie--I mean no, you me and...well here's the thing, I'm not gonna decide until tonight." Now, Caryn is no fool, and she knows that in Survivor parlance, "I don't know how I'm gonna vote yet" means "I'm gonna vote for you." Period. Then Tom tries to bully Caryn, "What brought this on? We told just told you our game plan, now tell us what's going on!" Caryn doesn't fall for it, "Wha?? He didn't tell me anything!" Caryn stomps off, and Tom glowers at Ian, "You just gave away her vote. You just screwed up." Tom hopes that Ian really is tight with Katie, or the girls are gonna gang up.

AS THE GAME TURNS

Ian asks to talk to Katie in private and she refuses. Then she goes off to wash clothes with the girls so she can complain about what a bastard Ian is being to her--I swear, Jenn and Caryn look skeptical and bored. "It was a reward challenge for DINNER!" he whines. Then he bitches to Tom that this "is like girl troubles back home." This explains why Ian works with animals and not people and why he doesn't have a girlfriend. Girls don't like being blown off, especially publicly. Ian dissed Katie and he did it on purpose and he knows it. Suck it up and apologize, dude.

Katie finally DOES agree to talk to Ian. He tries to remind her that she turned her back on him during the last reward challenge, but she doesn't buy it--she didn't win reward, and wasn't part of the decision to exclude him (she DID plot against him, but whatever). Ian swears on a religious medallion (St. Christopher's?) that it's still him and Katie in the Final Two. Katie revisits her "I lost my best friend" speech from earlier, and adds some extra chest-beating, and both of them start sobbing--it was AWESOME reality TV. Katie declares, "You promised me you'd never lie and you did and I can't believe anything you say!" Ian blames it on his being scatterbrained and reasons, "Sometimes friends make huge mistakes." He then (foreshadowing what's to come in the finale) offers to quit the game to prove his friendship and loyalty to her. I'm now beginning to think Ian's "girl troubles back home" might include stalking. Then he finally gives her the apology she'd been fishing--trawling for--"I'm off my rocker in so many different ways, and I'm sorry." Katie softens, they hug, and Ian vows, "I'll do my damndest not to be stupid again." It is a promise he won't keep.

IMMUNITY LIMERICK

The question is practically mute
who will make off with the loot
Tom's outwitted you all
and you'll each take a fall
cuz you couldn't give Tommy the boot

Tom and Caryn get the tree mail and Tom keeps trying to interrogate her about who first brought up the women's alliance, who first DARED to play the game the same way he's playing it, and Caryn's tired of it and keeps saying "I don't remember." Then he gets Katie alone and tries to bully her into rejoining the fold, claiming that if either he or Ian is booted, the survivor will get rid of her next. He's probably wrong about Ian avenging his ouster, but it's unclear if he really knows how tight Ian and Katie are. Katie puts it best when she scowls, "Tom sucks today. He's being mean." Tom then tries to convince Ian that Katie is playing him like a violin and that Ian has to threaten him. Ian isn't crazy about Tom's strong-arm tactics, and considers targeting Tom, "It's gone from domination to self-preservation. It's Survivor, not Parcheesi." But Immunity is determined by a crazy obstacle course/puzzle thing (AGAIN) and Tom wins again. Afterwards he tries to be all winning and charming, "I got lucky," he shrugs. Dude, save your fake modesty for the jury.

TRIBAL COUNCIL

The jury is let in, and Jeff starts things off by reopening the Corvette Bummer wounds. Katie obligingly performs and opera about her "darkest day" on the island, and Ian looks like he wishes he were dead and then gives a less teary version of his mea culpa speech from before. And then Caryn UNLOADS. It may not have helped her win the game, but I bet it felt really good--I love it when people stop hedging their bets and just BRING IT, and Caryn BRINGS IT! :D She tells everyone's business (to the delight of the jury), she comes clean about what happened between her and Tom and Ian on yacht day and about how she feels "had" by the boys, now that she knows about their preexisting bond with Katie. Then Ian defends himself by claiming that he never had any intention of voting out Katie--or Jenn, which can't be true in Jenn's case because of his alliances with Tom and Katie, and also, it only confirms the fact that Caryn has been totally used. Then Tom tries to insist that they were never going to sell out Katie, and she shoots back, "Tom, you are such a liar." :D She reminds them that they waited until right before TC to tell Katie, because they didn't trust her not to warn Gregg. Tom snarls, "Katie knows when it was." And Katie says that it WAS just before then Jeff calls Ian on the fact that he claims he's always trusted Katie, but clearly he didn't and then Katie goes on record at being mad about being told to vote out Gregg, rather than being asked whether she would or not.

None of this changes the status quo, and Caryn goes down in a hail of votes. I don't think her speech did her in, I think she knew which way the wind was blowing and tried to remind the girls how duplicitous and manipulative and heavy-handed the boys have been, but Katie and Jenn are still willing to play slaughter-bound sheep to their manly shepherds--you get what you deserve, ladies. Ian is especially childish when he casts his votes, I think because Caryn is calling him on the fact that he's not being a good guy, and he sees himself as a good guy. The cracks we saw in this episode are eventually going to implode his game in the Finale. The jury shakes it heads at Caryn's ouster--I think they were rooting for the girls to take out Ian.

Caryn finishes in 5th place--always an emotional spot. The fifth place finisher usually (not always but usually) has believed for a large part of the game that they were going to be in the final 2 or 3. Like Dr. Sean, one of Richard Hatch's many suckers (though not on that list--the IRS). Kindly Rodger and sweet T-Bird knew the score, but Sean, Ted, Heidi, Burton, Julie and now Caryn all left the game in 5th place, feeling duped, ripped off and mad as all get out. I give Caryn props for going out on her own terms, and calling the boys on all their bullhonkey. Being shady is part of the game--but freakin' own up to it.

Peace! :D

Christine