Survivor 10.12 "I know they're ready to turn on you. I know it for a fact."

STEPH'S LEFT

Morning at Er-Ror. I suppose it's silly of me to still be calling them Er-Ror, considering their success. A storm is blowing in, leaving the remaining six contestants huddled in their shelter, pretending to feel bad about getting rid of Steph. Steph is gone, meaning U-Turn has at long last been put out of it's misery and the winningest tribe in Survivor history, Er-Ror, stands strong. Well, sorta. Tom is feeling paranoid as he frets "If I was playing against me, I'd want me outta here too." He reminds Gregg, Ian, Katie and Jenn that they all promised to be a strong 5 to the end, because he's really big on the whole live-up to your word concept, at least as it applies to those stupid enough to actually give it. Then he continues to play Caryn, "I'm trying to figyuh how I can keep you here," which isn't really true, which he pretty much admits in the next breath when he tells Caryn that she needs to save herself. Caryn insists it makes the most sense to get rid of athletic and affable Gregg, splitting up Gregg and Jenn in the process, but Tom says he can't turn on his alliance of five. "But you turned on Steph, Caryn reminds him. Tom sighs heavily, "I didn't promise I'd help Steph, I promised I'd TRY to help Steph. Try and keep up, Caryn." Caryn knows she needs a miracle to stay in the game.

REWARD LIMERICK

around this time on every season
and for the exact very same reason
the challenge is such
that you reveal way to much
and someone is left thinking, "treason!"

Yes, it's the old "you get to eliminate somebody" game aka "Let's reveal our pecking order, shall we?" The most famous "pecking order reveal" occurred in 4th season, when the Smuggly alliance of the General, Tammikins, Zoe and Johnny Pots and Pans revealed to Neleh and Pappy (only one of those names is a moniker I made up, btw) that they were 5th and 6th on the totem poll, prompting Neleh and Pappy to flip allegiances and side with Kath, Sean and eventual winner Vecepia. That was the most dramatic one, but every season the game causes interesting ripples and reactions.

Before the challenge, everyone discusses who they would take with them if it's a shared reward of some kind, and Ian reminds everyone that he and Katie are totally BFF and nothing will ever come between them and if one of them wins, the other will too. THe challenge combines the "Test of Local Knowledge" with the "Eliminate Somebody" games. The reward is a night on a luxurious yacht. Strategy-wise, everyone at first targets odd-gal out Caryn, except for Tom, who wisely tries to divide hits equally amongst the group, even knocking Ian down a peg. When Caryn targets Katie, Katie says, "Surprise, surprise, surprise," in her best Gomer Pyle voice--oh that Katie, she's such a card. Caryn is knocked out first, followed by Tom. Tom isn't threatened by this, but he should be. Then Gregg offers to save Katie if she returns the favor, and she does, purposely eliminating her bestest pal, Ian. Ian makes a show of being amused, but he's actually pretty hurt. Then, Gregg is forced to choose between his snuggle-buddy Jenn and Katie, who he just made a deal with. He asks Jenn for permission to honor his commitment to Katie, and everyone taunts Gregg for being whipped, so he decides to honor his FIRST promise, which was to Jenn (pillow talk, I suppose) and he sells Katie out. Gregg wins reward on the Final question and even though Jenn is the obvious choice, Katie and Ian both seem to want a rose from King Gregg (the grown-ups, Tom and Caryn, do not partake in any of this foolishness). Gregg takes Jenn and then Jeff lets him take one more person and he takes Katie, which again, seems to wound Ian. Gregg blandly apologizes to those left behind and then blandly promise to "pay them back." "Oh no, we'll pay YOU back," Tom jokes, still unaware that his early exit form the game was more than just coincidental. Fortunately for him, Ian is paying attention.

CARYN'S MIRACLE

Tom is not the least bit concerned with losing the reward, "Well, it's a good thing I didn't come here to spend a night on a yacht," he shrugs. But Ian is VERY concerned and he gathers Caryn into a pow wow about changing the dynamic of the game--before it's too late. Ian was struck by Katie's decision to side with Gregg instead of him, "If she'll throw me over for a yacht, c'mon, we've lost control of this game. We're not making the decisions--Gregg and Jenn are." If that sounds familiar, I said it in my review of episode 10, look it up :) Tom would rather remain in denial, insisting, "Eh, it's just one challenge." Ian insists that Katie is now with Gregg and Jenn and they are plotting to vote out the non-yachters. Caryn points to herself and then surmises, "Me, Tom, you." Ian agrees that is indeed the order. Ian tries to impress upon Tom that they must act, "I know they're ready to turn on you. I know it for a fact." He doesn't go into detail, but remember, we saw that he was privy to the "Let's get Tom" rumblings after Tom's bizarre speech last week and Katie told him she wanted to get rid of Tom before they got rid of Steph even before THAT. Tom is reeling because he really did trust Katie and now he has to admit (to himself, anyway) that Caryn has been right all along, and she's more trustworthy than Katie.

All three agree that Gregg is a hard-worker and a nice guy who could easily win the million dollars. The problem is, the best they can do is force a tie. And in the event of an unbreakable tie, everyone reaches into a back and the person with the wrong color rock is out (which has only happened once, when Paschal aka Pappy left the game in 4th place in the Marquesas). I'm not actually sure (yes, there are things about Survivor that even I don't know) if it would be everyone in the game, or just those who got votes against them, or if those who GOT votes would become immune and only those that didn't would pick rocks. All three scenarios seem familiar to me, and like I said, it only happened once, in Marquesas, and they did it wrong, and I've never understood that either, but Jeff Probst said in an interview that they messed up that Tribal Council rock thing. At any rate, Ian declares that he's willing to risk it, and Tom agrees that they have no choice--now is the time to make a bold move and let the chips fall where they may. If they don't fight to stay in the game now, they'll just wind up leaving in the next week or two anyway. Then they pat each other on the back for being so clever and so risk-taking, which is fine because so few Survivors a) recognize when they're in trouble and b) do something about it. My favorite moments in Survivor history are these types of lightening bulb moments, where people don't just shrug and say, "Well, I get this weird feeling about my alliance, and well, even though I don't trust anybody, I just have to trust them!" Think Scout and Twila getting Eliza to switch to their side right before Ami and Leann cut her loose. Anyway, the three all agree that the key to the plan is to pretend that Tom and Ian are onboard with ousting Caryn, and that means Caryn has to pretend to be sour and kind of a downer--you know, like she usually is, only pretend. Caryn says, "Can I lie? Can I put on a performance? Are you kidding me, I'm a LAWYER."

CRUISE OF DECEPTION

Meanwhile, the lucky ducks on the yacht are at first to busy to discuss betraying Tom because they're surprised by loved ones. Gregg is surprised by his best friend, also named Greg while he's getting a massage. Then, when they gang is, in true starved Survivor style, rhapsodizing about how amazing SALAD is, Jenn's sister and Katie's brother-in-law arrive. Much hugging and crying ensues. Then they all get to swim with the dolphins (which is what Ian does for a living, so I guess he didn't miss out on too much) and Jenn gets emotional about sharing the once-in-a-lifetime experience (unless you're Ian) with her sister. Then they finally get down to plotting, and it turns out that Ian's fears were indeed correct, as the three vow to be the most boring Final 3 since...well, Rob and Amber and Poor Jenna in All-Stars. Okay, so it wasn't that long ago. Anyway, Mean Katie is worried because she's actually made Final three promises to Tom and Ian so she's the only one who'd look like a total snake. Jenn sighs, "Duh, that's why we want you sitting next to us in the Final Two, hello." Katie tells us, "My strategy is to stick with people who make the decisions and when they don't have power anymore, switch to the people who do." Katie will move onto a rewarding career as a lobbyist after Survivor ends. The yachters decide they'll stick to the original plan to oust Caryn but they'll get rid of Tom if Caryn should win immunity--then they all laugh at the thought of Caryn winning something.

WELCOME (KNIFE IN THE) BACK

The yachters return to camp to find Caryn sulky and down, so naturally they think everything is going to plan. Then Caryn, Ian and Tom see the guests and realize they missed out on seeing their loved ones. This hits Tom especially hard, "I love my family more than most people love theirs, so this really hurts. This one cuts and twists." Speaking of cutting and twisting, Ian makes a guilt-ridden Katie cry when he assures her brother-in-law that he's been looking out for her and wouldn't let anyone hurt her. It is magnificent.

IMMUNITY LIMERICK

Gregg was a handsome young man
He was boring but he had a plan
Just one thing went wrong
He waited too long
All he got on the trip was a tan

The big problem with Gregg's plan was it was too mister nice guy. He wanted to "turn" on Tom after the part of the game they'd all already decided was every man for himself, so he wouldn't look as bad as Katie did. He should have used Steph when he had the chance, used her vote to rid him of his real competition, Tom. The fact that they are targeting Caryn shows they're not looking one step ahead--they're following the old plan. Tom and Ian are already at the crossroad ahead, they see where Katie will roll when there are five players left and they're going to make a preemptive strike at six, when they still have the numbers to do something. Something Gregg could have done at seven had he been as smart as he thinks he is. Instead, he's gunning for freaking CARYN. The reason weaker players coast in a game like Survivor? Smart players let them, as they focus on their true opponents.

The Immunity Challenge is a combination of several games they've seen before. After each game, one player is dropped from the contest. Caryn is out at the rope maze, and everyone relaxes. Katie is out next at the puzzle, but Katie and Caryn don't seem to be sorry at missing another round of eating those "Bulooth" things. Gregg goes out--and kudos for Jenn for actually trying to win and not coasting. She meets her match when it comes to untying knots: because what have we learned from watching Survivor, kids? That's right, girls can neither tie nor untie knots. THe last game is a target shoot, which Ian easily wins. Tom jokes that his poor aim is why he became a fireman instead of a cop. Ian wins Immunity yet again, meaning it's Tom's who's on the line.

IAN DOESN'T JUST KNOW FLIPPER, HE IS FLIPPER

Back at camp, Gregg and Jenn are smug, while Tom and Ian pretend to be. Caryn does her part by sitting off by herself with he packed bags, looking angry--yet resigned. Ian thinks the performance is award-worthy, though best Survivor acting will always belong to Sandra and Lill, when they punked Jonny Fairplay and Burton into thinking they women were incapable of banding together to oust the boys. Honorable mention to Rob C. in the Amazon for...pretty much every word that came out of his mouth. Then Ian almost blows the whole thing when he says offhand that Tribal Council, "Should be interesting. I mean...should be...not interesting. It should be predictable and not at all surprising or different from what we all think is going to happen, and that's Caryn going home. I swear!" Tom looks as bloodthirsty as he did when he killed the shark, but keeps his rage in check, and Gregg remains none the wiser. He and Jenn go off for some alone time, and marvel at how perfect everything is. Jenn smiles, "I feel so rejuvenated. It's the NEXT vote that's gonna be big and dramatic and important!" Gregg agrees, "We can get rid of Tom OR Ian." "Oh, exactly--majority rules! Gregg, we're both so pretty and smart! Isn't it awesome?"

Elsewhere, Ian has decided not to leave everything to chance. In a bold move, he has decided to let Katie know of the plan to take out Gregg tonight. He tells her there will be a tie unless she switches and votes for Gregg. Katie stomps her foot, "But I don't stand a chance against you or Tom!" I guess she thinks she can beat Jenn? I guess? Ian tries to keep a straight face while he insists to Katie that a vote "would be closer than you think." Katie is unthrilled, and she has the audacity to complain to America about how, "Ian and Tom just want be to be next to them in the vote because they know they can beat me." Um, Katie, honey, isn't that your self-proclaimed strategy? To ride the coattails of powerful people who keep you around because you're so not-threatening? Sigh. Katie's got a lot to think about on her way to Tribal Council. But before we get there, it's time for...

**THE FINAL INSTALLMENT OF THE CHACHI AND AMBER REPORT**

First off, to those who don't watch the Amazing Race, you missed one of the best Reality Moments of All Time, when beauty queen Kelly lamented how her boyfriend Ron never finishes anything he starts and then he replied that he had joined the Army, and made a career out of that and then she said, "And you got out of that one too." And he asked, "How's I do that?" and she said...wait for it..."My becoming a P.O.W." Oh, the sweet mortification of watching human beings be themselves.

Anyway, the remaining three teams are in Jamaica, and Chachi is his usual Boston Rob self, "We came heh tuh win. Dere's no reason we we shouldn't win--just cut us duh check." Amber has to compete in a limbo competition, which she excels at--she learned how low she could go during Survivor. ANyway, the next day they have to build rafts, and Rob and Amber get a little snippy with one another, but they build a good raft. Later, Rob almost becomes a human avalanche, and Amber almost impales herself on the pole they're using to steer the raft. Someday, someone is going to die during the Amazing Race, I'm sure of it. Chachi and AMber then hit a major roadblock (not the game kind, the real life kind) when they get detained by the police, and Chachi says, "We need a miracle!" Lo and Behold, Uchenna and Joyce suffer a blow out, which Rob thinks is hilarious and AMerica feels is suspicious. I've seen a lot of people on the Amazing Race ask for a miracle, but Rob and AMber seem to consistently get them. Hmmm. The next day, the teams compete in some kind of golf challenge in San Juan, Puerto Rico, which I missed due to a traumatic TiVo malfunction at Heather and Brian's.

Fortunately, we did not miss Amber jumping off a bridge, though she emerged unscathed. No, she wasn't having second thoughts about her wedding to Chachi, it was all part of the game. By the time Chachi was gloating about picking the fastest lane at a tollbooth, I was about done with the whole show, but then, a miracle happened. Rob and Amber got standby tickets to a flight that would take them to Miami well ahead of the other two teams, and Uchenna and Joyce actually pulled a Rob and AMber and begged to be let on and didn't take no for an answer and were let on the flight! Amazing! The teams arrived in Miami, complete with a fake Miami Vice-ish theme playing in the background. Chachi and Amber leave their bags on the flight so they can move faster, which I'm pretty sure is illegal these days. If you or I attempted to do this, with no CBS production staff around to assure the airline that we weren't attempting to leave a bomb on the plane, we would at the very least be detained by airport security. But, it's not real, it's reality, so Rob and AMber are off without their backpacks (which they could have stowed in an airport locker without losing more than a few minutes, I know, I'm obsessing). But luck is not with the evil pair this day. Their cab driver deserts them and then they get lost and then they get stuck in traffic. Meanwhile, Uchenna and Joyce find themselves at the final leg but are 55$ short and can't pay their cab driver, so they beg for the money from passers-by as time keeps ticking and Rob and Amber get ever closer (at least it was edited to make it appear so). Finally, they satisfy their debt and race to the finish line. All the other teams are waiting and cheering, thrilled that Rob and Amber have not won yet another million dollars from CBS, though they did win all those trips and a free wedding in Hawaii, etc. ad nauseam. By the way, I watched the Chachi and AMber wedding special, and it was very disappointing. It was all about how happy they are, and the expensive gifts they gave to one another, and there wasn't anyone from Survivor there and there was, like, I think only one of the other couples from Amazing Race (the married couple that hates each other). Boo hiss. And now, back to our regularly scheduled (okay, mucho preempted) Survivor review...

TRIBAL COUNCIL

The jury is let in, and everyone looks ashamed when Steph appears. Jeff asks Caryn if she felt targeted in the pecking order game, and she says that she was told it was because she had won a lot of food rewards before. Jeff scoffs, "And you bought that?" "Yes." "REALLY!?!?" THen Jeff tries to give Gregg a hard time for asking his girlfriend's permission to help Katie during the challenge, and Jeff is not amused by how funny everyone else seems to think that is, "I'm serious, this is SURVIVOR! They're throwing their alliance in your faces and you're laughing!" Jenn insists, "Just because Gregg and I are always together and e like, make-out and stuff, does NOT mean we aren't playing individual games too." Gregg smiles, "Well said, darling. People aren't gonna switch sides and change the way they vote just because they see us as a couple." No. Not JUST because :) Caryn knows she's vulnerable, because she and Willard and Coby were never in the main alliance. Tom does hi best Lex impressions when he describes the tribe as, "Friends who are all looking to slit each other's throats at night." Then he continues, "All's fair in love and war--it's all about advancement--unless you try and screw ME ovuh, then it's a whole other story." Jeff asks Ian if he wants to give up immunity, and Tom holds out his hand but Ian keeps it. Katie is noticeably silent and somber during Tribal Council, a sure tip-off that she's about to betray Gregg--if she were really voting out Caryn tonight, she'd be thrilled. When Gregg's name comes up more than once (meaning not just Caryn voted for him) Jenn is stunned, and that jury is visibly shocked. When Gregg is booted instead of Caryn, the jury seems thrilled. Not because they hate Gregg, but because, I think, it's good drama, and they haven't had TV in a long time. Jenn is floored--it seems those chickens she was counting before the vote were only partially-fertilized island embryos. Even after being blindsided and betrayed, Gregg cannot muster up any emotion, he's as boring in defeat as he has been in victory.

Gregg finishes in 6th place, which was once known as the "P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing) spot. And I guess we can fit Gregg into that category. He may be boring and lame, but he is pretty. He joins wise but doomed Colleen, Jerri's stooge (and eventual All-Star winner) Amber and Africa's Lil' Kim. Things weren't so P.Y.T when the epitome of boring and lame finished 6th in Marquesas--remember The General? Man, that was a bad season. Thailand's chore-obsessed Jake followed, then in the Amazon another P.Y.T. joined the ranks, when deaf Christy refused to give Rob a straight answer, causing him to team with freaking Heidi and Jenna to oust her. I'm still ticked at Christy for that one. In the Pearl Islands, Rupert's pal Christa (aka Big Bird) went out, and last season we lost arrogant, gender-obsessed Ami--what a great night that was.

I'm gonna do it, you know. I'm gonna get last season wrapped up in time to start Survivor : Guatamala :D THe bios are already up at CBS.com if ya want to check out this year's crew. According to TV Guide, this year is going to be the most brutal Survivor ever (which they say almost every year) and there's supposed to be two big twists--personally, I don't get to excited about the twists, I just hope it's a good cast.

Peace!

Christine :D