Survivor recap recap.

Hey kids, thought some of you may have skipped yesterday's "special"
presentation of Survivor, which essentially showed us highlights and
recapped all the voting. There WAS some unseen footage though. It was
kinda lame but some of it was interesting so here goes.

They began by showing the plane land--didn't show us all the barfing.
Remember how Debb and Kimmi took an immediate disliking to one another? In
retrospect its as irrelevant as the Dallas Cowboy-San Francisco 49er
rivalry on the road to Super Bowl 35. That hurt to say, but its true.

Debb was a bit of a boss.
Disagree, and she would get cross.
She and Kimmi would fight
about who was right
Neither were much of a loss.

UNSEEN FOOTAGE!!! Colby kept his team up all night snoring! WOw, that
changes EVERYTHING.

What the special did for me was highlight and underscore why I hated many
of those who were voted off. For example, we saw more of bratty Mitch as
he plots to glean as much information from Kel as he can before they get
rid of him. Mitch is such a loser. So smug as he plans on voting everyone
who isn't as cool as he and Jerri are, but unable to bring the same kind of
passion to WINNING FREAKING IMMUNITY. Winning as a team you dummy.

Kel goes around saying he's mentally and physically strong and an Army
captain, it's his mantra. Did he smuggle in some beef jerky? I doubt it,
but he was creepy. He did make himself a loner, he didn't try to fit in
and he was weird, I'm sorry. Jerri and her clique won't apologize for
their actions, and Mitch Amber AND Colby all believe Jerri's lie (Why
didn't she confront him when she saw the alleged incident)?

They show a previously unseen exchange where Keith and Mad Dog tell him how
the others searched his bag. Keith and Mad Dog apologize for the others
behavior and tell him he has a right to be angry, kel responds, "My
programming indicates that I should register disapproval about this breech
in protocol, i.e. the searching of my gear. But I have not been programmed
to show emotion therefore, I am not angry at the poor behavior of the other
tribe members." Kel is all about denial. Denying he is angry--he MUST
have been, in that deep dark place where he stores and catalogs and shelves
all his "bad" feelings. He should have called the others on the carpet and
would have probably won some respect. As it is, so long "Army of One."
Mitch thinks he's hilarious when he votes for Kel, writing his name as
"Kelly." Yeah, your time is coming "Bitch."

We see Kimmi throwing a hissy fit about the fires, and more of Jerri's
fired drum song. Ogakor delights in how lousy Keith's Outback cooking is.
You gotta wonder how hungry these jerks really are. I've eaten cold rice
in school cafeterias or when I miscalculate the microwave...Jerri literally
can't stop smiling as she relates to the camera how bad it was. Jerri is a
lousy actress, good thing she makes kick ass Rum and Cokes.

We learned that Kucha had a waterfall they used as a Jacuzzi. Ogakor sings
around the campfire--Jerri sings Fiona Apple's "criminal" badly but her
tribe bows down at her feet. Tina stabs Mad Dog in the back, indicating
that she made a promise to someone else (who, we wonder, Jerri?). We watch
Michael do a fish autopsy as he points us all the edible organs, mmmm. The
looks on Elisabeth and Alicia's faces during this presentation were
priceless.

Michael ditches Jeff to go fishing, which infuriates Alicia. Jeff tells
the camera that the pity that Alicia and some of the others feel for him
after this episode is actually "respect." He cackles with glee at turning
everyone against Michael, then the others, with his machivellian
manipulating skills. Later, we see him taunt Kimmi about the pig they're
all gonna eat. My fave Jeff moment his when the super genius jumps off the
log because he's "too cool" to fight for the immunity he so desperately
needs, ha ha you arrogant creep.

Tina suggests a campfire game where everyone says something nice about the
others. Keith says about Jerri: "Well, out here in the outback, I hate
you, obviously, but under a different set of circumstances...maybe we
wouldn't have to have anything to do with one another." Jerri apologizes
for her "control freak" issues, and gets kudos from her tribe for being
such a big person in saying "sorry" to Keith. This is the night before she
plans to oust him though-- a plan that falls through when Colby sides with
Tina and Keith to get rid of the emaciated Mitch. The "buried hatchet"
rises from the sand beach.

Jerri pisses off Colby over the travois building, but Amber and Jerri can't
even put two and two together between the two of them and wonder "why is he
so mad? Did someone say something to him?"

Jeff, in a true case of the rice pot calling the paella pan black, marvels
at what how "arrogant" Keith is. Not to arrogant to suffer for that
immunity necklace, jeffy Jeff. Alicia's next after her pal Jeff. THE END.
Next week, a real episode of Survivor on Thursday, where it belongs.
Christine :)