Survivor 4.8 :D :D :D

WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :D

Don't count your chickens until they Richard Hatch:) John is ousted in a STUNNER!! I was so sure V would never join Sean and company against the Smugglies--I didn't think the Smugglies would be sooooo smug as to reveal their "order of departure" during a challenge. If you had told me last week that Sean, Neleh, Paschal, Kath and Vecepia would not only all band together and eliminate King John, but that he would cry like a baby during his exit interview, I'd have said, "Well, that's mighty fine trash talking, but it's not gonna happen. V is a tool, Pappy and Sweet Pea are too "nice" to actually play the game and nobody like Sean." Let me assure you, being wrong has never felt soooo right! :D

The show begins as the group returns from Tribal Council. Tammy, the self-appointed Camp Counselor says, "Hey guys? I think we should all reflect on how totally awesome it is that we're all on the jury! So, even though we're gonna vote you out one by one, Sean, V, Pappy and Neleh, you can still be grateful to us for bringing you along this far." Neleh beams, "Thanks, Tammy! You're the best!" Paschal grins, "I feel so great! It's almost as though I haven't done the math and don't realize that in order for Gabe to have been ousted, you all must have had some sort of agenda that didn't include him--or me!"

Vecepia is very proud of herself for telling Chachi she was gonna vote for him, "I felt is was the moral thing to do, especially since we had a previous--and obviously meaningless--agreement that we WOULDN'T vote for one another." Zoe smiles, "It's so relaxed now that Chachi isn't here to point out what a liar I am." Apparently, Sean farts A LOT. Kathy tells us, "Sean's probably next to go. He complains a lot, he doesn't work very hard and he farts A LOT." But Sean tells us that farting is just one of the many ways he chosen to be true to himself.

Pappy goes out to sleep by the fire (whether this is Sean-related is unclear). The wind kicks up a storm--and lots of sparks, but Pappy just pulls a handkerchief over his face. It was kinda amazing he didn't catch fire, actually. Then a huge gust blows down a tree. The next morning, everyone is a little freaked out. Tammy frowns, "A few more feet, and it might have squashed our shelter." Vecepia gives her a hug and shudders, "Don't you dare tempt the island spirits by saying that...er...I mean, praise God, we're okay."

Kath confronts Zoe, asking her point blank if there was ever an alliance in place to vote her out. When Zoe denies it, Kath doesn't believe her, due in no small part, I'm sure, to the fact that the ENTIRE CAMP heard mastermind John yell at Chachi and Sean that if Chachi hadn't talked to Kath about that exact plan, then Kath would be gone. Kath thinks Zoe has been playing her from the beginning. She decides not to push the issue saying, "I don't want to be anyone's pawn, Zoe, but I don't want to hurt friendships either. Once we get rid of Sean, then we can see where we stand, okay?" Sean's dismissal seems a foregone conclusion at this stage...suspiciously so, Mark Burnett!

Pool Party at the waterfall!!!! Everyone raves, "WE ARE SO REFRESHED WHEN WE COME HERE!!"

Reward Poem:

It's time for you all to build kites
A win, and you'll see some cool sights
For all of the others
If we had our druthers
Back at camp you'd all have some fights

I really really hope that the term "Tree Mail" wasn't actually coined by Lex. Kathy is stoked at the whole kite concept. There's something very childlike about Kathy's enthusiasm and her honesty. I think that's how she's managed to become (gulp!) my favorite player despite her personality disorder. She tells us, "I think the next stage of the game is getting rid of the black people--not because they're black, mind you, but because they're the only remaining members of old Maraamu. Hey, Mark Burnett is the one that put the two black people together okay?" Then Kathy gets my full attention--and support--when she shakes her head and says, "I don't think we're gonna start eliminating power--I'd like to, I'd love to get rid of John or Tammy first." She tries to enlist Paschal, who is indifferent. He doesn't want to hear nothing about no Smuggly alliance. When she says the Smugglies are gonna use them to as steps to the top, Pappy glares angrily at her and barks, "So??" Kath realizes that Pappy and Sweet Pea are gonna have to experience the smuggly alliance in all it's glory in order to believe in its existence. Hee hee hee.

Jeff tells them they're playing for a Snickers (Snickers is a registered trademark) bar and a day of scuba diving. He cuts up a frozen bar and gives everyone a slice. Everyone delights over how good the chocolate tastes, but, thanks to Season 2's Jerri, I think we all know that they are actually sex-starved, and not hungry AT ALL. Everyone but Kathy sucks hardcore at kite flying--hey, she grew up near the ocean, aright? Sean refers to his sad little kite as having been made by "little Rascals." Sorry Sean, Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids: Funny. Little Rascals: Not Funny. I dunno why, but there it is. Kathy has all kinds of fun on her trip and encourages herself in the third person: "Just keep going, Kath!" Everyone take one drink.

Back at camp, Tammy, John and the General are plotting. Tammy tells us that the three of them, along with Zoe, Neleh and Paschal have all agreed to vote the same way in the next THREE VOTES! Which must mean Sean, Kath and Vecepia. The idea of Pappy and Neleh plotting against Kath makes me mad. Cut to the seemingly doomed Sean, who vows to go out fighting. Pappy thinks it's fascinating to watch Sean scramble to get people over to his side--but he won't be a disinterested bystander for long :)

Was it just me or were they playing John Lennon's "#9 Dream" when Kath returned to camp? She brings them the Snickers and lays it on a bit thick--Kathy-style, about how she wants them to be happy and isn't the candy she brought them all just sooooo good? Counselor Tammy says, "Hey, it would have been hard for any of us to bring this back to share--let's give Kath some props everyone, while she's still here to hear them." John smirks to the camera, "Oh, it was a beautiful gesture. One eighth of a candy bar ain't changing my vote though. I'm an evil genius, you can't buy my loyalty, such as it is, with candy." Pappy insists to the camera, "There's a real family bond here. Less so with Sean here, but it's a strong bond. Not so much with Vecepia but it's a real nice thing. Less so, with Kathy but STILL, it's a strong bond, yessir."

Sean has a pow wow with Kathy, who's happy to talk with anyone who believes in the Smugglies as she does. Sean wants to play the game aggressively, and says that this 1 in 9 chance at a million is as close as they may ever get to getting a million bucks. Kathy is about to boast about some of her bigger real estate commissions, but thinks better of it and agrees they need to try to enlist Neleh and Paschal over to they're side, "Tammy and John are playing the game so hard it's obnoxious," growls the Kath the Kompetitor. Sean assures her that V is with them, along with the Lord Jesus Christ, but unfortunatley, He doesn't get to vote. Kath gets *uncomfortable."

Kath goes to Neleh who is also indifferent, but nice about it, of course. "There's always gonna be alliances, Kath," she shrugs sweetly, "And let me warn you, the more you rock the boat, the more likely it is that you'll be voted out before Vecepia, er, for example. I just picked V's name at random--it's not like there's a plan or anything!" So Kath takes another crack at Pappy who insists to the idealistic Kath that this game is NOT fair, and furthermore, he is NOT going to ally himself with the black people! "NOT because they're the black people, but because they're not members of old Rotu, and they got rid of Hunter which hurt Gina!" Kath is downcast, "Pappy wants Sean out of here and you know what? So does everyone else."

Meanwhile, John is shooting eye-daggers at Sean, who he feels has been "talking trash" to the other members about a pecking order and a Smuggly alliance. Hmmm, sounds like "Truth talking" if ya ask me. John, this year's Silas, is posing for Playgirl as he does this interview looking greased up in his shorts (I guess we should be glad he even bothered to wear them). It's funny how John is bothered by Sean's TRYING TO WIN. Can you imagine a pitcher crying to the media about how that stupid other team had the NERVE to try and hit the ball? Anyway, John goes out to make sure that Pappy and Neleh are onboard with ousting Sean and Pappy couldn't be more in agreement,"I was just saying to Neleh that is imperative to me that "someone like Sean," and I don't mean that racially in ANY WAY, doesn't make it to the finals. I told Neleh that you would make a great finalist, John. But Sean would be an embarrassment." Has Paschal ever WATCHED the show?? I mean, Lex and Big Tom?? Rich??? STOOPID SOO!?!?!?!?! Anyway, Pappy gives John his word that he will be voting out Sean tonight and John is pleased. In an UNBELIEVABLE display of ego, John tells us, "I think Paschal and Neleh are really rooting for me to win. They're like...two free passes I can uses as often as I like until they expire and I throw them away! It's great to have people like them too root me on in MY quest to become the Ultimate Survivor!" That's one for the Survivor Selfishness Record books.

It was recently brought to me attention that I haven't done a quiz this year. So here we go:)

What is your all-time favorite Survivor quote? I did not intend for these to all be from women, it just worked out that way:

A) Stacey: "You switched your vote!!"
B) Tina: "Let the Games Begin!"
C) Alicia: "I will ALWAYS wave my finger in your face!!"
D) Linda: "Did your momma never hug ya!?"
E) Vecepia: "Too much DRAMA!"
F) Kath: "Good thing those rocks got turned over, guys!"
Just some suggestions--feel free to submit other faves, if you have them:)

Tammy fusses about the cooking pot, making sure everyone gets fed and that everyone likes her, I guess. Sean says, "The mood around camp is basically, everyone's glad I'm going home tonight." He and Neleh and John get the immunity poem together, John wearing "I'm here, etc." sarong. I'm told men wear sarongs on certain Pacific islands, but John is an American and it looks...ahem, odd. I don't mean to be indelicate, but I'm certain he's going commando underneath the sarong, yecchh. In every way, he is Hatch Lite.

Immunity consists of a combination quiz and elimination game. If you answer the test questions right you get to chop down one of any others players three bunches of coconuts. When all your bundles have been chopped down, you're out. Not surprisingly, the Smugglies gleefully attack Sean. Sean goes after John, which John pretends to take in stride even though we know he is threatened because HE'S JOHN. When he takes out Sean, he blows him a kiss, which Sean grabs and sticks on his ass--well played, Sean, well played. Then...they go after Vecepia. Hokay. V plays it off like she's amused, but as she sits next to Sean on the back of the Immunity Bus, so to speak, you can tell she's not pleased. Then, the Smugglies aggressively go after Kath. John is almost brained when he cuts down one of Neleh's bundles and then walks in it's path. CBS Business Affairs gives a collective sigh of relief when John pulls back and avoids a lawsuit--I mean, injury. Sean mutters to Kath and V "I KNOW we could take them!" V whispers back, "If only Pappy and Neleh would wise up and see the writing on the wall!!" As if trying to oblige, Zoe kisses her machete in order to eliminate Paschal. The General is the ONLY one with the sense (wait...did I just SAY that??) to go after other Smugglies, actually eliminating John and going after Zoe. When Pappy is out, Sean mutters, "This is the order, this is how they're gonna do it." Neleh frowns as she comes to the same conclusion, watching the Smugglies gloat and laugh as they target her and Pappy before going on to bestow immunity on Tammy. Yes, the Smugglies keep the immunity necklace from Sean--but it will soon prove to be a Pyrrhic victory :)

The mood at camp is ugly. The Smugglies stupidly choose to congratulate one another AS A FOURSOME, in front of the other players. Vecepia glares behind her shades--she is their tool no longer! Zoe smirks to John, "I *almost* took you out because I felt bad taking out Paschal--NOT!" John tells us, "In the challenge, we took out Sean, Vecepia and then Kathy, just like we're gonna do in real life--brilliant, huh? That'll show them who's in charge. I took great satisfaction in cutting Sean's last rope. Hopefully that's an omen for the vote tonight. Well...it could have been if you Smugglies weren't so damned....SMUG! >:D

Because his little stepping stones have jumped off the garden path. His little free passes have redeemed themselves for cash. His little 5 & 6 want to be 1 & 2. In one of the most pivotal and monumental walks in Survivor history, Paschal and Neleh take hold of their destiny. Paschal begins, "Well they didn't play THAT very smart. I was perfectly willing to go along with their decisions...I never would have realized until I got voted out that the Smugglies actually existed! I thought Kath was just being paranoid!" Nelah agrees, "I was sooo totally gonna fall for the Smuggly scheme too!" Paschal realizes bitterly, "they were never going to give us any consideration at all. And they revealed the truth to us themselves by cutting us down in the order they plan on eliminating us from the game!" Nelah agrees and man, is she steamed at her former team, "I have been NOTHING but honest with these liars! I have followed my heart in every decision--I can't vote for Sean tonight because it's what they want! We've worked too hard to settle for being their 5 & 6. If we want to have any shot at all, we have to vote with Sean!" In other words, she ain't going out like a sucker! Yeah! Pappy keeps us guessing by saying he doesn't know how to play the game, he just tries to play the same way he lives and works and judges: fairly and consistently. Everyone gathers their gear to go to Tribal Council, Sean packs up all his things and tells us he's prepared to get voted out, "I'd rather go out at 9 and still fighting, than at 5,6 or 7 and a total chump." He looks pained when John shakes his hand and pounds his chest in an affectionate, "see ya later, bro," kind of way.

TRIBAL COUNCIL!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

**Carly Simon's "Nobody Does it Better" playing** And by "it" I mean stirring the pot! Jeff is the master! He asks Vecepia, "Wasn't it kinda obvious in the challenge that Sean, you and Kath are the next three players to go?" For a wonder, Vecepia doesn't give one of her "go along to get along" answers. She agrees, "Yup. Alarm bells went of for me and SEVERAL other player, Jeff. It incredibly obvious." The General looks concerned. Jeff then asks John if his blown kiss to Sean (that Sean put on his ass) was meant as a Godfather style kiss-off and John laughs, "Well being the mouthpiece, you're right that's exactly the way I meant it. Me and Sean? We kid! We're friends. Friends who hate each other." Does anyone out there remember Pacino BLOWING a kiss of death to anyone?? But that's not the question on anyone's mind at Tribal Council. They want to know what exactly john is "the mouthpiece" of. The SMUGGLY ALLIANCE PERHAPS? Jeff asks Paschal what his objective is and pappy says, "The objective was to be as honest as I could be (John grins his evil grin) but...I think I actually started plying the game today, as a matter of fact." When John is asked the same question he smiles, "Yeah, I came in trying to be, you know, Mr. Integrity and whatnot. It'd be a change of pace if there was a gay man on this show that WASN'T a conniving sonofabitch, that's for sure. But then you start...building alliances and not trusting people and taking your clothes off and...I haven't out and out LIED but I've told some white lies and whatever, its part of the game." Tammy and the General both look uncomfortable, and Zoe inexplicably nods here--inexplicable until we see who she voted for during the credits. Jeff asks Sean if he's proud of how he played and he says yes, he hasn't lied to anyone "up to this point," a phrase you see Pappy filing away. He says integrity is very important to him and, having never met a bumper sticker he didn't like he says, "Stand for something or you'll fall for anything." When Jeff asks Tammy if she wants to bestow immunity on anyone else she says, a bit TOO honestly, "You know, I couldn't have given a rat's ass about immunity before, because I was SOOOOOO confident in my position in the tribe--I'm everyone's big sister Tammy, for crying out loud! Now I realize we might have been morons at the challenge, so I'm sure glad I've got this precious necklace!"

time for the vote. Nelah smiles when she puts hers in. Sean says to John, "Checkmate brah! Thought ya had me, but when you go to Vegas, always bet on black. But, we're definitely gonna have some chicken and waffles when this is done!" No, I'm not kidding, he really said all that. Sean is just a cliche machine, turn the crank--out comes a well-worn homily/slogan/movie one-liner, and then a reminder that, in case you weren't sure, Sean is black!

The vote is very close. 3 to 3 and then the next two fall against John and he is Outta there! Tammy looks stunned, the General looks rueful, and Nelah looks...powerful? In the exit interview, we see that Zoe voted against John too--what does it all mean? John tries the, "I don't care it's just a dumb game I didn't want to win anyway" tack, saying "Ha ha, you guys have to suffer and I get to go to the hotel and eat and sleep in comfort," which is just poor loser bullhonky. Then he says, "I played the game...I made it to the jury...Mom, sorry you don't get to retire..." and he starts crying. I mean, Nelah wrote "Johny Baby" on her card, and it turns out she has a prophetic gift because he cries wike a wittle baby :D See ya Johnny! Hey, my mommy wouldn't want to live in a house I bought her, if it meant treating people like crap.

Jeff dismisses the group saying the game is up for grabs--and it literally is! Because this isn't a hard five person alliance here. Sean is doubtful (in my mind) for the final four. Unless Kath chooses to break up Neleh and Paschal?? I really see Kath Pappy and Neleh as strong front runners, but I wouldn't assume that Zoe and the General are toast. Vecepia, not strongly allied with either group--but not strongly associated in a negative context either, might be sitting pretty--at least for a while. Next week, Tammy's gone--The General if she wins immunity again. Zoe's ties to Kath and V keep her around...maybe? I honestly don't know--ain't Survivor a hoot? :)

Peace, Christine :D