Survivor 15.2 "In front of the spy? Really?"

I hope you're all enjoying the show (those that are watching). I think this is a great cast, the location is stunning and even the little things, like the familiar music being played with different instruments to give it a Chinese feel, are all working really well. The ratings are down, which is a shame. It always makes me sad that more people watched Survivor Thailand than did the last several installments of the show.

SURVIVOR'S TOP MODEL

At Crouching Tiger, Dave has taken over the leadership role at camp, much to the irritation of the reast of the tribe, who he enjoys talking down to. As we begin, he tells us, "I'm in charge now," and when other tribe members try to make suggestions about how to build the firepit, Dave sighs, "See, this is what bogs us down: you guys not doing everything I say." Cute and quiet Erik notes that Dave's ideas are sound, it's just the way he sounds them, and the way he dismisses anyone else's. When sweet Jaime offers an optimistic vision of the tribe's ability to get the firepit built in a day, Dave's snort's, "You're wishing really hard." Pieh Gee tells us that she's totally fine that Dave has usurped her as the tribe's de facto capo, and she should be--she's no longer on anyone's chopping block now that Dave (who's pretty much a cross between Zoolander (thanks Ashley) and Dwight Schrute from "The Office") is the one barking orders.

Dave tells us, "I have very SPECIFIC goals that I want my tribe to accomplish as they work to complete my plan, I, me, mine, my my." Dave wants to build a mighty fortress of a firepit before they even attempt to use the flint. When Jaime makes the pretty reasonable suggestion that they make a quick "baby fire," in order to ccok up some rice so everyone cna get some energy, Dave yells at her, and later drops a giant rock into a mud puddle, getting her covered in mud. She goes off to wash and she, Sherea, and Ashley hold an "Dave's a jackass" convention down by the river. Ashley is much more eager to confront Dave about the flaws in his plan, and when she tells him that everyone could really use some food in order to help him, he barks, "I moved half of those stones, MYSELF! I'm working plenty hard WITHOUT food, so everyone else is just a loser!" Ashley tries to get a word in edge-wise, but Dave is one of those people who takes the natural flow of conversation as rude interruption, and keeps yelling, "Can I finish!?" at her, kinda like Dana Carvey's Ross Perot imitation. "How many fires have you built, honey?" he snarks. Later, he tells us that everyone in the tribe is great except Ashley, completely oblivious to the fact even though she's a lot more aggresive about it than they'd be, she IS saying to Dave's face what everyone else is either saying behind his back or keeping to themselves.

EVERY GAMBLER KNOWS THAT THE SECRET TO SURVIVOR IS KNOWING WHEN TO STAY AWAKE, AND KNOWING WHEN TO SLEEP

At Hidden Dragon, everyone is working hard to keep their tribe in tip-top shake, and CBS underscore sthis by playing some music that seems to be right out of "Oklahoma." But then---screech, the sounds of Jean-Robert's snoring pierce the busy camp. Everyone fumes. Then Angela, who seems nice enough but I can't tell you much about her, decides to form an alliance with Todd the Gay Mormon Flight Attendant, whom she recognizes as "devious." Everyone seems to see Todd as crafty and dangerous and YET friendly and alliance-worthy. He's actually very Richard Hatch-like in that way. Remember in season one, his entire alliance knew he was a liar, they just thought he was gonna betray everyone else and then take them to the Final Two. Todd is a lot less obnoxious than Hatch--he doesn't sit around telling us how much smarter he is than everyone else, just that he's decided to play a very sneaky game. Anyway, Todd feels that he and Angela should enlist Hot Aaron as a third in their alliance, because he's big and strong and target-shaped. Todd feels that he and Angela can get him to implement any plans they have, and Aaron will draw all the heat. Aaron agrees to being in a Final Three with them (he doesn't realize he's their tool yet) and they all shake hands. Aaron does have a toolish vibe to him--he reminds me of Fred from "Scooby Doo." You know, the handsome guy who everyone follows because he's handsome but he thinks it's because he's smart.

Later, Aaron asks for suggestions from the group about what they should accomplish and Jean-Robert votes for resting, which prompts much eye-rilling from the rest of the tribe. Aaron confronts him on his loafiness and tells him he needs to start pulling hsi own weight and Jean-Robert shrugs and tells everyone that even though he's been lazy in regard to camp chores, he'll more than make up for it later in the game with his "mind stuff." Groan! He then boasts that he's "considered one of the bad boys of poker," like everyone at home is supposed to shudder in breathless anticipation of his next move. If you've ever watched a poker tournament on TV, you know that those guys really seem to believe there's some really cool secret behind the game that makes them super awesome, in their stupid sunglasses and dopey hats. But actually, it's just math and luck and maybe a little bit of acting. JR tells us later that all is going according to his plan--he's intentionally coming off like a slacker so that later, when he starts contributing, everyone will be really impressed. Hokay, dude, but the snoring seemed pretty real.

REWARD CHALLENGE

Jeff welcomes the tribe to the season's first Reward Challenge, which will be for fishing gear--including a boat. He also promises a twist, which will be revealed after the game. The Dragons seem rather shocked that Chicken is gone. The game is a messy one, in which the tribes compete three on three against each other in a field of mud and try to roll giant balls past each other and into goals. It's a game that certainly favors the Dragond and their big men: Aaron, James and JR, and that's how it plays out, the Dragons' win quite handily, and seem to work better as a team, but again, they also have these three really buff dudes. The game is very brutal, whith much grabbing, clothes pulling, choking and whatnot. Several people get more than their butt-cracks blurred out by CBS, put it that way. At one point, mean Courtney and pious Leslie seem to bond unexpectedly at the hilarious and scandalous nudity. Anglea doesn't realize she's lost her shirt until JR calls out to her, "Put your top back on," and when she realizes her situation, she groans, "My Mom is gonna kill me!" Contrary to last weeks teaser, Ashley's wrestling skills do little to help her tribe--all the girls were applying chokeholds with vigor, not just the lady that gets paid too. So the Dragons win, and Jeff tells them they get to kidnap someone from the Tigers until the Immunity Challenge, and they pick Jaime, who is then given secret message from Jeff that she is to read in private. Hmmm....

THE FLOATING DEAD FROG OF DOOM

The Tigers return to their camp, only to find it completely submerged, as the rain caused the river to rise and swamp them in. There is a dead, upside down frog in the water, that is surely a harbinger of something bad. I was also a little dissapointed that no one tried to eat it. The firepit, which Dave insisted on building above the water line is intact, and the tribe has to endure Dave's "See? I was right, wasn't I? Yes, I was..." for awhile, though Jaime's idea wasn't to build a lasting fire, just one to cook some food with, and had they eaten, who knows, maybe they win the Reward, I'm just saying. Later, when Dave starts bossing Ashley around, she calls him on his condescending tone, he apologizes, "Okay, crazy person, I'll be the bigger person and say I'm sorry even though I clearly have nothing to apologize for, okay? Does that make you feel better? Now do what I say." Sherea tells us that Dave better watch himself, because "It pisses adults off when you boss them." Dave still thinks that everyone else thinks he's awesome.

THE SPY WHO LIKED ME

Hot Aaron explains to us that they took Jaime from the Tigers because she's such a ray of sunshine that her loss would be utterly demoralizing. He doesn't know that Dave has managed to quash most of her joy and optimism anyway. Todd advises his team to keep an I on the flint and other valuables, as "The Art of War" talks about stealing things from your enemies. Leslie is impressed with Todd's sharp and focused approach to the game. The secret message doesn't tell Jaime to take anything, though. Rather, it tells her she has to give a clue to the tribe's hidden Immunity Idol to one of her enemies, so she decides to observe the tribe and MAN, do they give her a show. Jean-Robert starts talking about how much he needs sleep and Aaron demands he start working hard. JR replies that Aaron clearly just doesn't like him, and Aaron agrees and thus begins what Mean Courtney so colorfully and accurately describes as a "ridiculous bitch fight." She complains to us, "In front of the spy? Really? We can't all get along for, like, the two seconds she's here?" :D Man, I know I said I hated Courtney last weak, but if she keeps being this quotable, I'd hate to see her leave too early. And, I hate to defend Jean-Robert, because I really do think he's an ass, but he really DID work very heard during that challenge, and was a key reason they won--he moved those balls with two of the Tigers hanging on to him, and he probably did need a nap at that point--what was the harm? But aaron has reached a point with him where any time he's sleeping, it's gonna tick him off, and since he's already called him on it, it's like an afront to his "leadership" or something.

Later, a sick Leslie goes off to cry. She really wishes she had her Bible, but says she knows God has her there for a reason. I'm certain the fact that you chose to apply and go had something to do with it, Leslie, just sayin.' Her spirits are lifted when Jaime takes her aside and gives her the secret Immunity clue. She declares the unexpected windfall a gift from God, and He indeed works in mysterious ways, because Jaime gave it to her because she felt Lelsie was the tribe's weakest link. The Clue tells her the Idol is in camp somewhere, and is something that they all see everyday (CBS shows a Chinese character that's part of their flag pole, or something, that appears to be the Idol). But Leslie frets that she's never really been good at seeing the obvious, so she enlists, guess who: crafty Todd. She feels that he's clever and that she can use the Idol to broker some sort of alliance with him. He's pleased she's come to him, though he can't believe ANYONE would give that information to anyone else. He hopes that Leslie, who does seem to indeed be the weakest link because of her health, will be voted out, leaving him the only one with knowledge of the Idol's existence. THe only good thing about all this for Leslie is that Tood's such a player he hasn't shared the information with Aaron or Angela, or anyone else he may have an alliance with (and I expect he might have an alliance with everyone in the tribe by now).

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE

Jaime thanks her "captors" for their hospitality and is welcomed back to the Tigers. Jeff explains to the teams that they have to use "Chinese Puzzle logs" to smash through several doors, and then slide the puzzle through a series of bolts and what have you in order to win. Jaime, Courtney and Leslie sit out. The Dragons get off to a big lead, as the Tigers are hampered by a flagging Dave, who has perhaps been lifting too many big stones back at camp. Jeff seems to tkae pleasure in pointing out Dave's weakness. Frosti picks up Dave's slack though, and soon the Tigers have caught up and even get a slight lead when it come sto the puzzle part. It doesn't last, of course, and Jeff seems to be a little too obvious in his support of the Tigers. I get his wanting to get both tribes in Tribal Council early, and I too would like to see a more balanced competition, but...c'mon Jeff. Don't play favorites. When he tells the Tigers he'll see them again at Tribal, Dave looks likes he's struggling not to cry.

TRIBAL COUNCIL

Before the Tigers go to the Temple, Dave apologizes for "losing his power" and blowing the competition. He's not at all worried about tonight though--he's sure Ashley is the most useless person on the team and that everyone is sick of her bad attitude. Of course, what everyone's sick of is "The Dave and Ashley Show," and everyone is actually pretty torn between the more likable Ashley and the more valuable Dave. Ashley, knowing she's on the block, decides to wait to campaign against Dave at Tribal Council...

Jeff wastes no time in asking how Dave's doing as a leader, and Frosti is very dilomatic, saying that Dave is perhaps trying to do too much. Ashley criticizes Dave for his "patronizing rants," and for his playing the martyr. On cue, Dave pouts, "I haven't BEEN a leader in a long time, and that's a really interesting story that I now hope soemone will ask me about." Jaime tells Dave that he's overextended himself and adds, "I think the way you phrase your demands--" and Dave defensively interrupts her, which Jaime calls him on. Sherea is even MORE blunt, "I haven't enjoyed a SINGLE moment here," she complains. She insists that Dave's Drill Seargeant methods of motivation has ruined the tribe's morale, and she feels they need to get to know one another, talk and laugh and have fun, if they're ever gonna be able to pull together and win as team. You go, Sherea! Jeff then asks Ashley what she's basing her vote on, and bless her heart, she just comes out and says, "I'm voting for Dave." She's the only one, though. Everyone else votes for Ashley, which is the smart decision. It's a painful one for Sherea, who tearfully glares at a smiling Dave as if to say, "You're next if you don't back the hell off." Ashley shoots Dave a parting shot, "I'll see you soon!" She may be right. The rest of the tribe does seem to be friends. Keeping Dave was smart, and he may indeed stick it out if he's mature enough to take the things the tribe said to heart and dial it back a little. In her exit, Ashley dubs Dave a "too," and "Zoolander," which is quite appropriate.

Ashely is ousted in 15th place, joining cantankerous B.B., who lobbied for his own ouster and then regretted it. In the Outback, Jerri got everyone to believe Kel had smuggled in some beef jerky, and in Africa Jessie the hot Latina coppuked her way out of the game. In the Marquesas, Patricia's bossy "Mama" role didn't sit well with her young tribemates and in Thailand, Tanja was yet another pretty girl who just couldn't stop throwing up. In the Amazon, Janet couldn't duck accusations of smuggling in some kind of granola bar and in the Pearl Islands, we lost plucky nerd Ryan, who wasn't man enough for Captain Andrew. Mean Mia made a shocking but welcome early exit in the Amazon and snotty Kim didn't last long after her wussy snuggle-partner Jeff did in Palau. Smart Brooke didn't survive the tribe shake-up in Guatelmala nor did witty Melinda on Exile Island. In the Cook Islands, we bid a reluctant farewell to the always interesting (even when fristerating) Cao Boi and last season, we saw the last of some girl named Liliana, though I can't say I remember a thing about her. Oh well.

EVICTED SURVIVOR FUN FACT

Ashley is well-known enough in the WWE to have been portrayed in the MTV claymation show "Celebrity Death Match." She's appeared on TV's "Smallville,", and no surprise here, the cover of Playboy. Mvie night could be very odd at Ashley's place: she lists "Natual Born Killers," "Moulin Rouge," and "The Notebook" as her favorite films. In her spare time, she visits wounded vets at Bethesda Naval Hospital, so good for her.

Peace Out! Christine :D