X-Files 8.3 "Patience"

"If you've got a gun...get it."

OK. Was this, or was this not, utterly confusing? I totally dug the
X-file, by the way, and thought it was really scary--something that didn't
happen all last year--but the character end of it was like, huh?

PAGING STORY EDITOR! I know it must be hard to edit the boss, but Chris
Carter seems to either a) be totally dense b) think we are totally dense
or c) a little of both. This script was in need of a good polish but it
never got it. He's trying to hard. Carter, I'm watching the damn show,
I'm taking notes. I want to enjoy it. STOP OVERSTATING THE OBVIOUS.
Let's begin.

Idaho. The West--not California, but a state that California can pass
for--what a novel concept.

Liked the opening--it was creepy, but the dialogue..."that embalming fluid
of yours..." so awkward and on the nose. HE'S THE UNDERTAKER!!!! I also
thought Carter laid on the homespun too hard, you know "Lan' Sakes" and all
that. THEY'S COUNTRY FOLK!!!!!!!!!

I stand by my earlier assertion that the opening with floating Mulder into
Scully's eye is lame, but liked the amended Scully and Doggett with
flashlights and Gillian with top billing. I assume we've had the standard
passage of time between the conspiracy season opener and the first monster
story of the year--sort of tradition to gloss over the emotional minefield
of the openers and dive into the X-Files with little comment. Scully
looking at Mulder's nameplate, all emotional. it was sort of moving the
first time she did it--the next five times? Not so much. SCULLY REALLY
MISSES MULDER.

Liked the idea that Doggett sort of needs to impress Scully--she's in
charge (I assume. I would hope.) Loved Scully trotting out the old slide
projector. Sad that she didn't say they were going to the very plausible
state of Idaho--though, it isn't is it? It's kinda kooky out there. But
hated Dog's "I'm a tough New York cop, seen all kinds of stuff"
dialogue--Chris, let someone help you, for Pete's sake. Just dreck.

Liked Scully taking over everybody's head at the crime scene, and her "It's
not my fault that you're stupid" air when Detective Idaho was trying to
bully her. Dig Scully's wardrobe this year--little more stylish, and she
has good hair. Dana and Dog do not present a united front at the crime
scene. There was a sort of sex-politics thing going on, Detective Idaho
seemed to be treating Dog like he was in charge, simply because he was a
man. Just a vibe, and of course, not really fleshed out or explained.

Just me, or was Scully showing some cleavage to Det. Idaho on the
porch?--just Mulder's luck, she start's unbuttoning and he's out in space
being probed.

"Mulder used to call it..." Scully's using past tense already. The scene
where they go up into the attic was pretty creepy, I thought. But then
Carter ruins with that stupid flashlight business. Doggett: "You ever
carry one of these?" Scully (wistful pause) "No." SCULLY MISSES
MULDER!!!!!!!!!! Why would Doggett even ask that? Like, Mulder and Scully
invented flashlights? It's their "special thing"? My sister Jessica
carries a mag lite, does that mean she's an FBI agent? What's really
terrible about that moment is I can see Carter typing it going, "There, the
little bastards (us) have there flashlight moment, that oughtta make 'em
happy!" Like that's what it was about. It's the characters, stupid!

Pretty icky that Scully knows what a regurgitated finger smells like.

I know Scully is angst-girl right now, but I don't get her hostility
towards Dog. He seems to be trying to go along with her--he's being a hell
of a lot more open and understanding than she ever was in her first...seven
years on the X-Files. It would be so much more logical for her to be like,
"I know this may sound crazy, I know where you're coming from.." etc. I
mean, he's not mocking her the way she did Mulder, so why is she so
defensive? Dog's theme is Billy Joel's "An Innocent Man" taking the brunt
of her anger towards all those Bureau jerks and conspirators.

Then they suddenly agree on everything, yet still act like they don't.
that was the fundamental problem with this episode. Doggett finds the
newspaper article (somehow?!?!?!?!), says "It's a bat man, like this one in
Montana!" and Scully's like, "OK!" And the police are like, "OK!" But
everyone's going around accusing everyone else of having a weird theory,
even though they all seem to agree it's a bat man.

Nonsense alert: Dog says "I spent the weekend reading all the X-files, and
saw that most of them broke with a leap. But in my experience, leaps get
you killed." ZUH? Do detectives really get killed making inferences?
REALLY? And if he has gathered that making a leap in usually gets the job
done, why is he dissing the idea? HE'S A TOUGH COP FROM NEW YORK__NO
NONSENSE. We get it Chris. Again, Dog seems pretty reasonable, doing
everything Scully asks, helping to get the body exhumed, etc. He's being
deferential to Scully, even. That bit where he takes the guy aside was
strange--what DID he say? was it a threat? Did he really call her an
expert on paranormal phenonoma or was he shining Scully on? There was that
undercurrent of his protecting her, and her chafing at it a bit. If they
want to deal with that fine, but it doesn't fit here. Scully's been around
the boys club (navy brat, Med school, FBI) too long to not just let some of
that roll off her back. If Dog is the guy that can get result's out of
Det. Idaho, fine, let's play it that way.

Do people at the GAP realize we don't all live in New England? I like
sweaters and all, but...really.

Do people at Carl's Jr. really think that the sounds of someone else eating
and slurping their sodas and making a mess is appetizing? It's really
quite the opposite for me.

Liked the flying creature at the cemetery, SCARY. Again, when all the cops
are ready to lynch Scully, they first say they should have been told about
the creature, then they say they don't need Scully's "far out theories."
But...DOESN'T EVERYONE IN THIS ENTIRE EPISODE AGREE THAT THE CULPRIT IS
SOME SORT OF BAT-LIKE CREATURE? Idaho Potatah, potato, Bat=creature,
Bat=MAN, let's just go and KILL IT Before it kills again. Who the flip
cares what it is EXACTLY. ANd how does it break down, exactly? If you
thing it's a large homicidal bat with a grudge, than you're OK but if you
think it's actually more like a man with fangs and wings well then, you are
CRAZY! This is just weak plotting.

they gotta give us more on Doggett, a hobby, personality quirks, family
ties, SOMETHING. All this "I'm just a simple New York cop turned
hard-nosed FBI agent, Scully. I don't know nothin' about goblins and what
not. Let's just do some good cop work and be sure and use little words so
my head don't explode" drivel is driving me nuts.

Scully's wardrobe continues to rock--love the long black wool (?) coat.
The scene in the car, when they're staking out the old guy and Scully
cracks a joke, and Dog laughs was sweet. At First. nice character
moments, getting to know one another, then Carter has Scully say "I'm sure
about the facts as I deduced them scientifically." REMEMBER EVERYONE?
SCULLY IS A SCIENTIST! Then she wonders if she's "TRYING TO BE MULDER."
Gee, is that what's going here? Scully's the believer now and the new guy
is the skeptic? SOnofabitch, I wasn't aware, thanks for SPELLING IT OUT.

Then he assures her they're DOIN' GOOD COP WORK just like we do up in the
big apple, lil' lady. I'M NOT FOX MULDER EITHER. Not here tryin' to take
anyone's place, just a decent working class ex-marine and New York city
Cop, trying to do my darndest. Didn't go to Oxford, no siree Bob. Not
much on booklearnin' miss, jus' doin my job. Dial it down a notch or two,
Carter.

And, you don't have to mention Mulder's name every ten minutes, either. We
Remember him, Chris, we really really do. ANd we know Scully does too.
Gillian can convey that without having to fondle his nameplate or look at
his picture or feed his fish or talk about him all the time. Trust your
actors and your audience!

Liked the actor that played Ernie, thought he was great. the whole idea of
them living in fear on this island was pretty freaky. I don't really get
how the bat would find them though. I mean, couldn't you just...move? How
good is it's sense of smell, really? And...did I miss something? If they
were all form Montana in the first place, why are they in Idaho now? I
mean, I get it with the man and his wife, but why would his wife's mother
be in the same general area of Idaho? She went up to get the photo album,
which implies she lived there (to me) but why would she if she had no way
of knowing her daughter lived there. And why did he burn her body? If it
was to get rid of the smell, it didn't work because the bat creature still
dug for it in the cemetery.

Then Ernie says all that stuff about bats being close to monkey's on the
evolutionary chain (whatever), and I don't know if that's true or not but
he ends it all by saying this is a bat that's evolved into a man and Scully
says "Even if that's true..." and here we go again! ISN'T THAT YOUR
THEORY??? Upshot: IT'S A BAT CREATURE!!!! We ALL AGREE. ANd how stupid
did Dog and Dana look when Ernie gives them this stunning bit of news: bats
only hunt AT NIGHT! Jeepers Creepers, maybe your brother isn't safe!
DUUUUUUUUH!

Historic X-Files moment, mark the calendar folks. On their first official
mission as a team, Dog ditches Dana! Not Mulder indeed. "You stay here."
Over protective? Sure. Chauvinist? Maybe. But Scully doesn't put up
any argument. "Yeah, good plan. You go out into the night where the
psycho bat killing machine is, I'll stay in here with the old man and the
fire and the hot cocoa." It occurred to me when Dog got attacked by the
beast (how'd he survive? I dunno, neither does Carter, just go with it)
that it'd be kinda cool and unexpected if he just died. I like him and
all, but you have to admit, it'd be shocking.

There was something very "Friday the 13th" about that lake.

Then we have another stupid scene where the old guy is asking Scully who
believed in the bat creature first, who put it together. The point of this
scene is supposedly, Scully having to admit she believed in a monster--big
character moment, she pushed, she MADE A LEAP.

But.

EVERYONE BELIEVED IT WAS A BAT CREATURE. Scully, Doggett, Detective Idaho,
30 assorted Idaho cops: There's a Picture of it in the FREAKIN MONTANA
GAZETTE, Headline: BAT CREATURE KILLED!! Why, There's even a PHOTOGRAPH
OF IT!!!! Old guy: "How'd you put it together." Scully "Uh, well the
picture in the newspaper with you holding the dead bat creature? That was
a big clue." Scully as "lone believer" in this story doesn't work, cuz
Doggett ran out and got the newspaper immediately, and Scully as Skeptic
doesn't work either because she pretty much strolled into town like
"there's a new paranormal sheriff in town, kids. I may use words like
"science" and "evidence" and "deduce" but make no mistake, I MAKE LEAPS, I
BELIEVE IN WEIRD STUFF, Just like....(sniff) Mulder. I'M FINE!"

Then he says all that stuff about her giving up her family blah blah blah,
even though SHE ALREADY HAS. Yeah Chris, we know.

Scully was cool, shooting up the joint. Love it when she goes all action
hero: "if you've got a gun, get it." Outside stuff was creepy, but
....couldn't they have just phoned the brother, told him not to go outside
at night (duh), then waited until morning? And, if a killer bat
creature--yeah, folks, I know it sounds kinda kooky, but I'm gonna go out
on a limb and say it was some sort of bat...creature--had been staling you
for 44 years--wouldn't you always keep your shotgun loaded? And how did
the bat get in the house?

then we have the coda, Scully mercifully putting MULDER'S NAMEPLATE in his
desk so they can stop having her moon over it. She tells Doggett to "get
used to" people not believing their reports, then telling him she'll get
him a desk, he's alright. "Shucks, so are you. Just doin my job, ma'am"
ANd I hate that whole "I never had a desk" thing. It's stupid. It was
stupid four years ago and it remains stupid. She'd have a damn desk down
there. Sigh. Hopefully Carter will put away his typewriter with
sledgehammer keys and throw the next several episodes to his staff. Also,
they still call each other "agent." Time for first names soon, or will
they--gasp! Call each other by THEIR LAST NAMES! Oh the intimacy! Oh the
Betrayal! Oh the riots this will cause in the chatrooms!

That is all. Niners won! Yay! No new President! Booo! Since both sides
have reason to feel totally gypped and robbed of the election, I kinda want
gore to lose. I'd rather be the "wronged party" than the party that got
away with something shady (and either way, that's what you'll wind up
with). Don't know what that says about my personality but there you go. I
also feel that next election, we don't count ANY Florida votes, how's that.
They've lost their privileges. Okay, that's it. Have a great
thanksgiving, eat that pumpkin pie! I hope to be thankful for the Vikings
stomping all over the evil cowboys on turkey day--I can't think of anything
better to do with your loved ones than to watch those bad men suffer.
Niners get a bye week for the holidays, cuz they are so good and noble and
true. :D Safe travels for all, Christine